#i would have saved this for his bday (halloween) but i might have other ideas who knows | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blondtan · 7 years

Text

biker!got7

PART TWO (a.u)

SEE PART ONE HERE

or’: in which dumb7 like to think they’re the new local gang and should be considered badass just because they got a bunch of bikes off ebay that were on sale and now they pretend to take beatdown requests. tip: don’t trust maknae line to be on their own.

warnings: mentions of bars/paid violence/gangs, vulgar language, lots of crack actually

○ | see more of my aus here | ○

youngjae:

• signature items: dentist voucher card 2 at the price of 1 for teeth whitening + smiley face fake earring

• cutest biker you’ll ever meet w a smile so pure that u start to feel bad for that time you forgot to give a pencil back in 3rd grade that is the youngjae effect© • he lets little kids around the neighborhood put cute stickers and flowers on his motorcycle and it’s the cutest thing he gets so happy when he sees a new lilly on the handle he actually has a flower chain all over the front and everyone envies him • and no the background sound you just heard wasn’t jackson screaming that little kids won’t come near him as they cling onto yj’s leg nope (that cursed honda...,,) • everyone loves him like this is certified u exist u love youngjae these are the rules but grannies are especially in love w him • once said a bad word and the whole group panicked and put youngjae into quarantine bc they thought they were losing him to ~the plague~ • he goes to buy them bread every morning and delivers them w his bike and then in the afternoon they race each other yj with his motorcycle and the grannies w their scooters except poor so rin whose husband always goes to afternoon ‘strolls’ w it so he takes her on the back of his bike and ends up losing bc of that like 99% of the time • sunday night it’s break from fight night bc he goes to play bingo with them and takes the rest of got7 and they are the most excited whenever someone yells bingo even tho it’s not their boy (tip: youngjae has no idea about bingo to this day) • met the grannies at the dentist as he was getting his teeth whitened and they bonded over weird mumblings and random swallows and trying to communicate while having multiple people’s hands in their mouths at the same time and he just can’t let them go • now he may look innocent & pure but listen up ok,,,,listen here,,,,,,,,,,he rly is • except maybe that one time when he bumped into a stranger and didn’t apologize and jesus fucking christ it haunted him for weeks like he would decline when offered lucky charms bc he failed his #code and g o d so he’s not worthy of receiving happiness • he’s supposed to be the one who beats people up but he’s the poodle and the only infernal thing is other gangs’ desire to protect this flower man • wears fluffy socks bc he gets cold feet easily • every time a member is sad said member wakes up with a stuffed bear wearing a leather jacket next to him in bed but “no one” knows who puts them there cause stuffy’s mama didn’t raise a snitch

bambam:

• signature items: puppy photos to appease the gods + shea butter hand cream

• the whole city knows him like they hear the word ‘bam’ and this guy pops into their heads 5 mins later the streets are deserted • cue in confused baby bam coming up the street on his bike like ‘:( where is everyone i wanted to show them my new pastel pink mickey mouse socks i bet jihyo would’ve liked them’ so he just takes polaroids of them and puts them in everyone’s mailbox as tokens of his affection • has sometimes troubles with parking his motorcycle bc he can’t rlly hold it perfectly always to park it and yugyeom just jumps out of the bushes like ‘here i come to halp worry not my small noodle man’ • the first one to reject jaebum’s “infernal poodles” idea • ”hyung do you want us to be the laughingstock of the neighborhood we can’t name ourselves infernal poodles that’s so 3rd grade let’s go for malevolent west highland white terriers” - triggered bam 2k17 while holding his pinky up bc he has #class “don’t encourage him u nuthead”

• you’d think he would stop dabbing at some point but nope he’s a professional dabber born&raised™ nearly crashed his yamaha into jackson once while dabbing and the poor guy has never been the same • like really he would literally get his collection of gold holy crosses out and start spewing latin exorcism chants whenever dumb bam raised his hands • once dabbed in a rly shabby bar bc the beat was lit and punched this shawn michaels wannabe in the face and started a bloody (literally) fight which ended up w/ yug dragging everyone to the hospital bc he was the only one who hadn’t fought (bless his tiny bladder) • PAW patrol enthusiast made everyone dress up as the characters during halloween (he nearly passed out after channeling his inner tarzan to fight mark bc i aM GONNA BE SKYE U PIECE OF PUP POOP-) then forced them to sing the op whilst searching for roaming ghosts bc he also wanted to be ray from ghostbusters (but like ~cooler~ and on a bike) • sneak master from bangkok hides in the shadows to take aesthetic pics of these rly hipster looking guys (like, living in the sewerage bc we don’t believe in homes hipster) smoking bc he may be soft and squishy but his insta theme is #edgyweedaddictbiker even tho he freaks out whenever someone says ‘mary’ • wanted to decorate his bike w/ some rly cute & rly glittery & not badass at all baby animals stickers but jaebum caught him and confiscated them and now bambam goes all (๑´╹‸╹`๑) whenever they’re alone in a room

• (”but hyung, they fit our aesthetic!!!”

“how in the heavens do a bunch of black kittens represent us”

“...they mean bad luck??”) =>> jaeshook needed like 10 mins and an ear pull from jinyoung to compose himself • has noticed that jb lets youngjae have stickers on his motorcycle bc ‘the kids put it there’ so he tries that too but jaebum is like ‘oh yea and please tell me where do this kids find yellow glittery stickers with baby camels on them’ ‘it’s mustard goddammit hyung’)

• he’s the sacrificial lamb whenever the guys wanna get in a fight like rly they might lowkey want him to get beaten so that he’ll become T O U G H • and all he can do is stand in front of these big&buffed up men like ‘pls don’t hurt the child i can do the cooks they call me bambam bc my maple syrup pancakes are yumyum’ • insert housewife!bambam making muscly man breakfast for those big ass guys resulting in them being all friends!!amigos!!comrades!!! who are in love with bambam • bambam receiving black roses (bc red roses are for pussies) every 2 weeks from the dudes in return!!!! (also guess what’s the sole reason why nobody messes with his gang) • always pretends that he hadn’t noticed that his instagram captions are my chemical romance lyrics added by jaebum,,, but,, he knows,, • and now he might have welcome to the black parade saved to his phone but what jb doesn’t know won’t hurt him

yugyeom:

• signature items: fur turtlenecks + XL skinny jeans ( the xl stands for extra leggy) • wears heavy clothes so he thinks they make him look shorter (but rly they just turn him into this cheap & memey version of slenderman bc he just can’t get the tentacle part right) • the neighborhood kids start crying whenever they see him on his bike and yj has to spend like 5 hours trying to calm them down and then 5 more to console • but rly he’s just an overgrown puppy in need of love and when he doesn’t receive enough he just wraps his arms and legs around someone like ‘hi it me the friendly octopus may our love prevail and may you never escape our - not gay at all what are you talking about we’re bros, bro - embrace~’ • he would write these super poetic poems about love & adoration and all that mushy mushy fluffy shit and then read them to the others (insert: distressed members trying to keep at least their sexuality straight bc they sure as hell can’t do that with their bikes) but then he adds ‘bro’ at the end and the magic dissipates and everyone is reminded that they keep him around just bc he looks rly ominous in the dark + he’s tall so he keeps other gangs away • goes home complaining to his hyungs about him just lightly pushing a bad guy to set him off and then said guy punched him in the face and he feels extremely wronged • ‘yeah i started it but he didn’t have to hit me so hard’ • usually complains at the dinner table and uses the kitchen utensils in his hand gestures and knocks some plates down and that is where he really catches those hands from mark and jinyoung • the members sometimes call him daddy long legs so at night he pretends he’s the babadook and hides in their closets just to mess with them bc he can • and after he startles them he’s like ‘why did you -hyung stop screaming it’s just me- why did you think it was ok to put the cereal on the bottom shelf you know i never notice things that are below my arms’ ((lmao he never gets an answer bc jackson always faints)) • at first he didn’t want to join the gang because that meant buying a motorcycle and he couldn’t do that bc when he was 13 his parents bought him this rly snazzy™ bike for his bday - a few months later and he couldn’t use it anymore bc he’s grown out of it and he’s been scarred ever since so now he thinks that bikes make him grow taller & he fears that one day he might crush his smol friends while stepping on them • ok but like grannies love him tho bc he’s lean, strong & can carry things =>> he’s like perfect grandson material and when he’s not around they can’t stop gushing about him and yj is on the verge of crying every time bc this is so beautiful this is what he lives for and he sometimes records them and plays the recording when he’s sad and can’t sleep • has troubles with talking back to his hyungs and sometimes gets smacked without deserving it bc jb think’s he’s being sarcastic but that’s just his voice give the boy a break • during the winters he wears this weird ass fur coat that jb got him from the same dealer and he puts it on w a serious expression before the fights and acts like he’s jon snow and sometimes does it during jy’s negociations too but always gets the references wrong and told the barman during closing time that he shall not pass ((someone save him.mp3))

31 notes · View notes

crankstank · 6 years

Note

1-100

1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpaper? A cartoon image of Freddie Gibbs on his YOL2 EP cover

2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Not really.

3) What was your last text message? “No” to that stupid bitch Tyler

4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be? Lol idk

6) What was your coolest Halloween costume? Mike Wazowski

7) What was your favorite 90s show? Ed Edd n Eddy came out in 1999 so that counts

8) Who was your last kiss? My ex

9) Have you ever been stood up? Nope

10) Favorite ice cream flavor? Vanilla

11) Have you been to Las Vegas? No but my coworker wants to take me there on my 21st bday so maybe someday

12) Your favorite pair of shoes? Vans

13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other? No

14) What is your favorite fruit? Probably either grapes or apples

15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible? Yeah

16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships? I’m open to anything at this point

17) Do you smoke? If so, what? Weed and the occasional black and mild/cigarette if I get pissed off enough at work

18) What do you do to get over your anger? Depends on where I am. My car I will speed, anywhere else I’ll punch shit, at home usually my bed and at work probably a 20 pound brisket lmfao

19) Do you believe in God? Ehhh kind of??

20) Does the person you’re in love with know it? I’m not in love

21) Favorite position? I’m still a virgin fool

22) What’s your horoscope sign? Leo

23) Your fears? Being buried alive and getting in a terrible car accident

24) How many pets do you have? What kind? 3 cats

25) What never fails to turn you on? If she likes the same music as me

26) Your idea of a perfect first date? Smoke weed and watch a movie or something lmfao idk dude

27) What is something most people don’t know about you? Umm i’m not sure

28) What makes you feel the happiest? Taking a huge dab after a bad day

29) What store do you shop at most often? Martin’s because I work there lmao

30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving? I’m down

31) Do you believe in karma? Yeah

32) Are you single? Yeah

33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize? If you held me down and forced me to choose, candy, but just fucking use your words.

34) Are you a good swimmer? Yes

35) Coffee or Tea? Coffee but I don’t really drink either

36) Online shopping or shopping in person? Online

37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age? Younger

38) Cats or Dogs? Cats but I FUCKING LOVE BOTH

39) Are you a competitive person? Sometimes

40) Do you believe in aliens? Yeah

41) Do you like dancing? When I’m drunk

42) What kind of music to you listen to? Mostly rap nowadays but I’ve been getting into rock, metal, and pop punk again thanks to work!!

43) What is your favorite cartoon character? Denzel from Brickleberry is great

44) Where are you from? Osceola, Indiana

45) Eat at home or eat out? Out if I can afford it

46) How much more social are you when you’re drunk? More than usual

47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself? Pokemon Ultra Sun

48) Why do you think your followers follow you? I don’t know lol

49) How many hours do you sleep at night? Like 4.

50) What worries you most about the future? That I’m not going to amount to anything. I really need to get my shit together

51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends? Not long I wouldn’t be able to stand him

52) Are you happy with yourself? Sort of

53) What do you wish you didn’t know? That my mom cheated on my dad

54) What big lesson could people learn from your life?

55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? The home Sin lived in in Spirited Away seemed minus the witch and baby

56) What’s your favorite Website? Reddit probably. Spend too much time on there

57) What’s the habit you’re proudest of breaking? Ruining everything immediately lmfao it has a 5 minute delay now

58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? Can’t remember

59) What’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store? I got Pokemon Crystal when I was 10 at a garage sale. Probably best $5 spent

60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food? I dont

61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? NEW JERSEY

62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be? Sex Ed lmfao I would have a field day there

63) Favorite kind of chips? I WANT MORE OF THEM LIL BOOSIE CHIPS

64) Favorite kind of sandwich? HAAAAAAM AND TURKEY

65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus? Neither I have google

66) Have you ever been stung by a bee? Yeah

67) What’s your favorite form of exercise? Skullcrushers!

68) Are you afraid of heights? Somewhat

69) What’s the most memorable class you’ve ever taken? Astronomy

70) What’s your favorite breakfast? Muffin you stupid bitch I don’t even like breakfast

71) Do you like guacamole? DO I LOOK LIKE A GUACAMOLE MOTHERFUCKER

72) Have you ever been in a physical fight? Yes

73) What/who are you thinking about right now? Food

74) Do you like cuddling? YES

75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Nah

76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears? No

77) Favorite city you’ve been to? They all suck lol Chicago I guess

78) Would you break the law to save a family member? Yeah lmfao

79) Talk about an embarrassing moment? When I was running up to Scott and Brian in 5th grade, only to trip, roll down a hill, and hit my ass on a big metal pole

80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in? Eh nah lol I ain’t deep

81) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Broken right thumb

82) Favorite day of the week? Whatever days I have off

83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded? Sure I guess

84) How do you feel about porn? Its fucking fantastic

85) Which living celebrity would you like to know? Freddie Gibbs

86) Who was your hottest ex? lol I have 1

87) Do you want/have kids? Currently I don’t want to have them at all but we’ll see

88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you? No

89) Do you get easily distracted? Yes

90) Ass or titties? ASS

91) What is your favorite word? Beef

92) How do you feel about tattoos? They’re awesome. I need more

93) Do you have any pets? Didn’t you just ask this you cunt

94) How tall are you? 5′7 ½? Maybe 5′8 now

95) How old are you? 20

96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot? None lol I’m ugly fool

97) Is there anything you’re really passionate about? Music

98) Do you have trust issues? Not anymore

99) Do you believe in love at first sight? Nope

100) What are some words that you live by? Why? Just live your life to the fullest lol like idk when I’m going to die and I’ve accepted I can die by literally just going outside. I could get shot, hit by a car, etc. At work I could get robbed and shot. At home someone could break in and stab me. It’s going to happen eventually. Might as well make the most of it til it happens.

0 notes