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idyllic-affections · 9 months

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the way kaveh unknowingly invalidates reader's feelings im about to

he obviously doesn't mean to. he never wants to hurt his younger sibling. he's just so caught up in his guilt and he clings onto that visage of faranak being the mother she was before everything (cuz deep down he's still that child that was left on his own to take care of himself AND his younger sibling omfg.)

ALSO READER JOINING HARAVATAT INSTEAD OF KSHAHREWAR JUST MAKES SO MUCH SENSE AND IDK WHY.. i just think kshahrewar, by watching their brother as they grew up, is more of something out of passion, you know? and. reader, having to grow up keeping things to themselves, i feel like they'd go for a darshan that focuses more on logic?? something that's not as innovative or creative, but more of facts and analytic.

basically bc kaveh's heart > brain and reader's heart < brain 🥺...

(maybe maybe bc they think they don't wanna be associated with smth connected to their mom since she was from kshahrewar as well i think or maybe they think even if hey did pursue it they'll never be as good as kaveh because of how different their minds are im CRYINGGG AGAHHGHHHHRR)

also because i see so many clips of "shameless" (that nextflix show, reminds me of kaveh n reader but,, yk,,, less chaotic), you mentioned that faranak wouldn't feel bad about it until later on?

well, what do u think would happen if faranak suddenly vists sumeru as a 'surprise' with her husband, asking kaveh if she could take them to fontaine (either temporarily or not, up to you) to 'make up' from all they missed out on because they're younger and there's still a chance (to redeem herself as a mother?). it's just a recipe for a disaster.

also its unrelated but i think alhaitham caring for kaveh's little sibling is so sweet 😭😭 thinkin about how alhaitham cares so much about kaveh that it extends to his lil sibling .. dies.... uueueueueeuieiie 😭😭😭

ANYWAYS i thinks thats all now i will stop 😇 ty for ur time ily /p mootie i swear ,, ur feeding my brain worms

HI HI HELLO AGAIN i love seeing you in my inbox btw 🙏🙏 please send me your silly brain worm thoughts whenever you'd like 🙏🙏🙏🙏

he ofc doesn't mean to :((

he loves his little sibling probably more than he loves himself and can't fathom ever doing something to knowingly and intentionally hurt them. but as you've said. his inner child is still so unhealed and he's still clinging to the image of what his mother once was rather than the poor parent she became. and what he fails to realize is that [name] has never known faranak as anything but a shitty mother. they were far too young to remember her being a good one. he doesn't realize it, but that's all they've ever known her as--a poor parent. he knows she was good once, but they don't. and he doesn't realize that. this is probably the root of the growing distance between them, i think.

AND YES EXACTLY YOU GET IT.... i think [name] was probably a very artistic and kind child, but as they grew up, their desire to work with their hands gradually decreased until there was none left and they likely found themselves reading more as a kind of escapism or maladaptive coping method. their passion has long since been snuffed out by the pain they've gone through, and architecture... it's a work of passion. they can't do something like that, not anymore.

if kaveh wears his heart on his sleeve, then theirs must be in something of a prison. because why should they let themselves be hurt again? there's no logical reason for them to put forth all their love and kindness, so they don't.

they've had to learn to be logical. haravatat simply provides a better environment for them to foster that protective layer of logic and reason.

AND GODJSKSGSNG MOOT...... "they'll never be as good as kaveh because of how different their minds are" OHHHHH YOU!!!! I LOVE THIS on one hand, they don't want to live in either faranak's or kaveh's shadow (and they also don't want to be recognized as her child), and on the other hand, they don't think they could ever match kaveh in any way shape or form.

oh. it would be a fucking disaster if she did that. i think, by that point, their anger would have gone from the kind of hot boiling "wet" sort of anger (which you know, involves a lot of visible feelings... crying, yelling, that kind of thing) to just. cold frustration. everyone would have expected a more visceral response, but they just give her a plain and cold "no." HNBSNDBDNBNV

YES SOBS EXACTLY alhaitham is not "taking sides" by caring for [name]. he cares for both of the siblings equally, albeit in different ways (teehee silly haikaveh enthusiast pushing their silly haikaveh agenda /hj /lh)... he isn't picking sides. he understands both kaveh and [name] from an objective pov. he believes they are both valid in their feelings. but what alhaitham also understands is that both of them are failing to see one another's own perspectives; kaveh remembers faranak as a good mother, while [name] does not. but he chooses to meticulously care for both of them anyways, because he knows neither of them are quite ready to sit down and really talk about it, so it falls to him to make sure that neither of them lose themselves in their trauma.

so he continues to care for both of them, piecing them both back together with tender attention and care that most haravatat scholars fail to display...... cries. they've both got unhealed inner children but alhaitham is there to help fix it........

alhaitham is just the peacemaker fr and i don't think ANYONE would expect that of him

kaveh and [name] just end up becoming such polar opposites and it has me losing my mind AUGHGBFNF.....

#aphelion replies: moots 🌸#BTW I LOVE YOU ALSO MOOT!!!! /p #i will always gladly feed your brain worms teehee <3333

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