#i was watching fucking mindhunter of all things and i heard something weird looked up at the door and the knob was turning
Text
Also I know its very hard to be a 911 operator and like ur trained to keep people calm and collected and to reassure people on the line it will all be okay but when i had to call for what i thought was an attempted break in she did not help whatsoever in fact i felt so much more stressed cause i didnt believe a word she said cause she sounded so unsure
#so i used to have such a major fear of being awake and turning to look at my front door and seeing the knob turn and the one night it did#i was watching fucking mindhunter of all things and i heard something weird looked up at the door and the knob was turning#it was 2 in the morning and dark and i quietly but quickly got up grabbed my pepperspray and my bat and went to look thru the peephole#and its just some fucking dude in a hoodie and hes like looking down at the knob so i cant tell anything and i go to wake my mom up#so hard to wake her and then when i do shes no help shes whisper yelling at me and i end up having to dial 911 cause she wont#and ive been down this road i tell her everything so efficently and clearly and quickly and shes asking for description#and i tell her thats all i can give her i cant see him and im watching thru the peep hole on the phone like tryna prep myself best w my bat#just incase i gotta use it and then he walks away a bit and stops and like stares at the door and goes and like trys to do the same thing#on the neighbors door but no ome lived in either at the time#and shes like well do u wanna go outside and like ive given her a real description at this point im just kinda narrorating at this point#and im like no and shes like are u sure? and il like yeah and he left to the parking lot at this point and i gave her every detail i coulds#but i like honestly couldnt make out much if his face cause he was looking down mostly and had a hoodie on#he comes back to the door and is doing it again and at this point im like mother talk on the phone im just gonna be ready#and we have a deadbolt lock which im very greatful for so i feel decently confident they arent gonna get thru it#eventually he stopped and left and no one and come to help and so it was kinda just like okay whatever then a bit after#two cops show up and they're like hey is it this guy? and my mom went to look cause i had jsut gotten a ton of adreneline#and was tryna not to puke and it was and they ended up calling emts#it turned out to be like an older guy and they were like he might have taken something but they were pretty sure he had dementia#cause if i remember right they got a simillar call and it was also him and they said they were told at some point that#he used to live in the general area#so they took him to the hospital to get checkd out#but 911 lady did not help at all and my mom wasnt any help either so i spent a good 2 hours being like okay be ready to bed broken into
0 notes
Text
The 2017 Binges you absolutely have to do before 2018
"The Golden Age of Television". That's a saying you've most likely heard as a description of the current state of TV. It has been used from everyone from TV and Studio executives to that your one friend who won't shut up about how great Master of None is. Whatever your feelings about the term, one thing is for certain, there are more quality shows being produced at an almost daily basis than ever before. So many that it seems impossible to follow the TV landscape while, you know, having a life.
That's why I'm here. I've given up my real life so that you can have one and still watch the best TV. You're welcome. Whether it's your FOMO on all the great TV topics or you're just looking for an easy binge for the Christmas break, I’m going to try and provide adequate suggestions to satiate everyone.
The Weekend binges
Mindhunter (Netflix)
David Fincher's return to Netflix! This show is based on a book by John E. Douglas, a former FBI special agent and a pioneer in criminal profiling in the FBI’s Behavioural Science Unit.
While the protagonists are fictionalised versions of the actual people, the real attraction of the series lies with serial killers and their interviews with the FBI. The criminals do maintain their real names and are depicted to a chillingly high degree of accuracy, in some cases even lifting actual dialogue from the real life interviews.
A terrific examination of the criminal psyche (a feat David Fincher has shown to be a master at), Mindhunter will have you hooked from the first episode.
youtube
You’ll like this if you liked: Zodiac (2007 film), Hannibal, Dexter (probably).
Ozark (Netflix)
Although dealing with a fairly well trodden premise, Ozark manages to elevate itself from the constraints of its premise and deliver an entertaining, gripping season.
There is no mistake though, this is Jason Bateman’s show to shine and shine he does. Wearing multiple hats as star, producer and director of 4 episodes (probably the show’s best episodes), Jason Bateman delivers a complex and entertaining performance as Marty Byrde, a money launderer for a crime syndicate who is forced to uproot his family and move to the Ozarks in order to pay back a debt to the syndicate.
You might believe you know all the tropes of this sub-genre but Ozark has a few surprises waiting for you.
youtube
You'll like this if you liked: Bloodline, Breaking Bad.
The Niche binges
I believe everyone should love a great dick joke. A perfectly crafted and executed dick joke can be side splittingly funny as is evidenced by the fact that Silicon Valley’s season one's “optimal tip to tip efficiency" joke has seemed to take on a life of its own even spawning research papers with actual Stanford approved maths. I however concede that not everyone is as sophisticated as me, which is why I have put these 2 shows in the “niche” category.
American Vandal (Netflix)
American Vandal is really just an almost 5 hour dick joke at its core. It takes a simple, quite ridiculous, premise- someone spray paints 27 dicks on teachers’ cars in the school parking lot and the accused student is expelled. It is a true crime mockumentary but it doesn’t seek to discredit the genre but rather as all great satire does, it pays it homage.
The characters and the show approach this premise with such straight faced seriousness and investigative attitude that it makes the jokes that much more hilarious. Special mention should be given to Jimmy Tatro whose performance drives the show and who turns the “YouTube douche” personality into an art form.
I did find that, beneath all the dick references, well over 1,000 (both visual and verbal), American Vandal tries to say something and if you pause long enough from laughing and figuring out “Who drew the dicks?” you might just hear it.
youtube
You'll like this if you liked: 7 Days in Hell, Documentary Now!, Making a Murderer (but yearned for something less deep).
Big Mouth (Netflix)
Following the success of the Simpsons, animation quickly became the go to medium for telling deeply perverse and hilarious stories that could never be written for and performed by real people. But the real successes came in the episodes of Simpsons, South Park, Family Guy etc that transcended their "cartoons tell dirty jokes" gimmick and showed some heart and deft in their storytelling. Big Mouth has lots of heart.
With a stellar voice cast which includes co-creator Nick Kroll. John Mulaney, Jordan Peele, Maya Rudolph and Jason Mantzoukas, Big Mouth manages to tell an insightful, universal coming of age, puberty story while also juggling the fact that two of its main cast are "Hormone Monsters" and it has the ghost of Duke Ellington living in a character's attic. (The show is weird, guys)
You'll like this if you liked: Family Guy (the earlier years) and basically any other R-Rated animated comedy.
Trailer
The Snowed-in and cuddle binges
Dear White People (Netflix)
I am a sucker for a good story by and about black people. If such a show manages to deftly attack systemic racism then I'm fully sold. Dear White People however, is more than a guns-blazing attack on racial injustice. Sure, that's the premise by which it starts but as it evolves it begins to say something more on identity, especially Black Identity and all that term entails.
Based on his critically acclaimed film of the same name, Justin Simien manages to improve on his original work in possible every imaginable way. It follows a group of black students at a predominantly white University, as they attempt to negotiate the racial politics and come to terms with their own identities.
You'll like this if you liked: Black-ish and Dear White People (2014 film).
Trailer
The Bold Type (Freeform)
It is no secret that there is a paucity of stories about and driven by female characters and what is even rarer are stories that explore female relationships, especially friendships amongst the younger demographic. Insecure and Jane the Virgin have told some of these stories during their runs and The Bold Type did it incredibly well, under the radar, in 2017.
Through Scarlet, the Teen-vogue like magazine where the protagonists work, The Bold Type manages to address relevant societal issues such as politics, rape, religion and professional ambition while maintaining a "summer-y binge feel to it".
You'll like this if you liked: Ugly Betty, The Devil Wears Prada (2006 film).
Trailer
The Good Fight (CBS All Access)
First of all, for any The Good Wife fan who hasn't seen this already, shame on you. For any non-Good Wife fans though, do not be deterred by the Good Wife link because this show more than ably stands on its own.
Set a year after the finale of TGW, The Good Fight follows the great Diane Lockhart after a financial scam causes her to lose all her savings and she is forced out of her firm. She then joins an all-black law firm that already includes The Good Wife fan favourite Luca Quinn. Rounding off the cast are Sarah Stele (returning as another fan-favourite Marissa Gold), Delroy Lindo, Justin Bartha and Game of Thrones' Rose Leslie.
For Good Wife fans, you don't know how satisfying it is to hear Diane yell "Fuck" until you actually do.
You'll like this if you liked: The Good Wife or any other great legal drama.
Trailer
Obligatory Superhero binge
Legion (FX)
In a year where Superhero TV was littered with messy newcomers such as Iron Fist and Inhumans, Legion was such a breath of fresh air. Rising above the genre of "Superhero TV", it was in my opinion, one of the best new shows of the year.
Noah Hawley (creator of Fargo) examines what would happen if instead of being enlightened as to his mutant powers, a very powerful mutant was diagnosed as having schizophrenia. Legion is the son of Professor Xavier in the comics and excluding a few easter eggs and nods, that is where this show's link to the wider X-men universe ends. It is a show that stands on its own and does not require knowledge of the wider X-men mythology to be enjoyed.
Legion and Noah Hawley are much more interested in diving into an examination of mental illness and the various stereotypes surrounding it than they are in fighting a "big bad". It is a very trippy, colourful and awe-inspiring piece of television that is evident right from its excellent pilot. The performances of Aubrey Plaza and Dan Stevens manage to shine through from a group of wonderful performances.
youtube
Top Picks
There are few things more satisfying to me than a perfectly told, timely story of import. Unfortunately, in the mad dash to tell an "important" story, especially on cable television, good storytelling has often been pushed aside for either pretension or just sloppy work. Their ability to buck this trend was one of the many refreshing things about Big Little Lies and The Handmaid's Tale.
Big Little Lies (HBO)
The immediate draw to this series (for the non-book readers) is undoubtedly the cast. This highly stacked cast includes the likes of Nicole Kidman, Reese Witherspoon, Shailene Woodley, Laura Dern, Zoë Kravitz, Alexander Skarsgård and Adam Scott, but once the novelty of the cast wears off, the strength of the story will keep you hooked.
Big Little Lies is a wonderfully well written, directed and acted piece of television that approaches some very heavy and important topics with a delightfully nuanced touch. It says a lot to the strength of the several stories told that the murder mystery at the center of the show, while intriguing in its own right, quickly fades into the background. To give any more details would be to spoil what is a very well done show.
Trailer
The Handmaid's Tale (Hulu)
In The Handmaid's Tale's world, fertility rates have plummeted to almost non-existent numbers. This has resulted in the fertile women being kept as personal breeding grounds for the more affluent member of the cult-like organisation that has taken over society.
The Handmaid's Tale holds many mirrors to our current society but perhaps none is more chilling than the straight path that can be drawn from 45's current America to the "dystopian" society predicted in this 1985(!) novel.
The Handmaid's Tale is built on the Emmy-winning performance of Elisabeth Moss and firmly stands as my best show of 2017 and a definite must watch.
youtube
Bankole Imoukhuede
@banky_I
#tv shows#binge watching#netflix#the handmaids tale#big little lies#legion#the good fight#the bold type#tv#recommendations
12 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
shipwithsps-blog
shipwithsps
friendly-neighborhood-furry
*rolls up in a little kids tricycle* 'sup, nerds.
frentique
What have we become