redraw of some unexplainable gordon fanart i made in 2021

Oops! My Wife Finishes Off The Nanny Shirt

Her advice: If you can figure out why you struggle with your new grays then that’s a good start. Is it an issue of feeling like you’re getting old? Or is it an issue of not knowing how to maintain? Whatever the Oops! My Wife Finishes Off The Nanny Shirt in other words I will buy this issue is, don’t run or react too quickly. Experiment. Look for inspiration and pull those images to inspire and know that change is good and the grays are an amazing privilege to experience. Apple Martin is the spitting image of her mother, Gwyneth Paltrow. The 18-year-old has the same effortless dirty-blonde hair, striking features and mesmerizing blue eyes as Paltrow, and the older she gets, the more the pair look alike. Another trait that they share? A love of clothes and accessories. Paltrow’s penchant for stylish staples has clearly rubbed off on the teen. The mother-daughter duo flexed their fashion muscles on a recent visit to Paltrow’s Goop store in Manhattan. Martin sported a breezy white halter-neck dress and black sandals, complete with layered gold necklaces–her mother’s go-to jewelry styling trick. Paltrow, meanwhile, was a cool mom in floaty capris and a crisp white shirt, accessorized with chunky offbeat buckled sneakers by Roger Vivier and a bright orange Hermès bag slung over her shoulder. Goop has inspired Paltrow to be increasingly active on social media, but Martin prefers to stay out of the limelight and has set her Instagram account to private. Paltrow regularly shares her wellness escapades, recipes and the occasional snap of Apple, such as the doting message she penned for her daughter’s 18th birthday back in May. Maybe Martin will make her solo IG debut soon.

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ok so darnold is goopy, right? when he's at black mesa he's in his Skin Suit™ but like. when he's off duty, does he just slorp around like a big goopy puddle? does he have full control over his Goop, like it's just his Body? or does he like. drip n stuff? IF HE'S UNCONSCIOUS DOES HE HAVE FULL CONTROL OF THE GOOP BECAUSE IF NOT. HE CAN HAVE A SLEEP BUCKET™!!! i love that concept and apply it to everything. when u Sleep and lose your Form, just sleep in a Bucket! keeps u Together™

he has a Casual Suit!! its more durable simply because it doesnt NEED to hide his form! its really just a robot skeleton, so when hes wearing it he walks around like. looking like orange goop with a robot inside. (IF u squint: hes not completely see theough i promise)

he used to have a sleep bucket but i mean. he was the specialist assigned to TOMMY COOLATTA. hes the TOP STEALTH SPECIALIST. the literal only thing that stops him from being the best in business is that he cant let his suit get damaged, YALL HES GOT A GOOD SALARY. any way what im saying is his bedroom is specially designed to replicate the deep sea pressures hes used to, so when hes sleeping he actually looks like a siren again

YEAH THATS RIGHT YALL DARNOLDS A DANG MERMAID DIDNT EXPECT THAT HUH

yall out here askin questions bout forzen when the extent of my thought process for him was Um benrey voice ig.... oh wings he can fly if he wants to.

MEANWHILE DARNOLDS OUT HERE BEING THE COOLEST AU DESIGN I H A V E

JT Anon - I guess my MET invite was also lost in the mail

A little off topic from the delightful pub visit, but someone on @gatorfisch mentioned SH circle promoting things like “yummy mummy” blogs and mum and me fashion style things, going to art and play openings of friends, promoting themselves on IG etc etc. They said that all her pals do this, and the fact that she doesn’t suggests she is not in it for fame

I think all the things that nonny mentioned is actually very interesting. If I were advising SH, I would have advised her to do exactly that. She could have had herself a nice little career out of this. A blog about her busy life as an artsy mummy in London. Inches about what its like being a woman in theatre, how she gets productions done. A fashion blog, some guest editor pieces. All things she could have done to promote herself and her brand in actually quite a nice way. if that had been the SH branded to us, I may have found her interesting. instead we got this mess of a brand which is nothing but a wet sopping drag. I digress, ive already done the “SH brand is a drag” submit

The nonny suggested that because we don’t have those things, that SH then clearly isn’t the gagging for flashes famewhore her brand has made her out to be (don’t blame us PR, this is how you packaged her). I would like to counter that thinking for a second. it is my opinion that SH very much wanted that type of attention, and just simply was not talented enough to make it happen, and eventually it became clear that the people who could have offered her that type of branding were not interested in her/ didnt find her saleable.

The thing is, SH very, very much did try to trade off her husbands name in order to brand herself. I personally think she went the wrong way, and eventually she couldn’t pull it off due to lack of interest and talent, but the lack of blogs and art gallery opening does not mean SH wasn’t very much trying to build a brand for herself.

The guardian article. SH DID try to do inches and articles about herself and her supposed area of expertise. Just like the “mum about town” contributions to lifestyle papers, mags, and blogs, SH attempted to write about her chosen art in a very similar way. The problem is she plagiarised her information. Aside from being weird that an Oxford grad would need to do that, it means she actually is not capable of producing anything on the topic on her own. She doesn’t have her own valuable perspective to lend to the arena of opera that can be marketed and garner interest. Hence her one and only time contributing. She doesn’t not have a weekly or monthly because she isn’t branding herself off BC. She doesn’t have one because she tried and couldn’t do it.

I have my own theories as to why we don’t have SH on a pub IG account. I think we will get that soon enough. Don’t be fooled though, her friends make sure she is on IG and marketed on there when she needs to be. Her brand has very much been promoted on IG. If you don’t think pics of her shopping in paris at specific fashion boutiques, old art gallery shots, the wedding details sent out on IG ,weren’t meant to cultivate a very specific image of SH as a wealthy woman who spends thousands of pounds on clothes and is involved in arts communities in multiple areas, then i have a bridge to sell you. They make sure she is on IG and the pics they want are avail when they want them avail. Once she isn’t as restricted (and i don’t mean by some corporation like Disney), we will get a SH IG.

Fashion blogging. She may not blog herself, but we have had marketed to us SH the fashion….whatever… many times now. It was made very public that she was supposedly a model. They even went so far as asking small time model reblog blogs to circulate what seems to be her only one official shot a few times the week that was being discussed. That ridiculous ossman (was that his name? the designer who should be legally barred from wearing sunglasses because he created that cheap bargain rack orange monstrosity she wore). The trashy titty pic she had accompanying her one interview (before you all shout body shamer, I looooove me some titties. All shapes and sizes. I found SH shots lacking in class. #myopinionbro)

Multiple articles about her sartorial choices in the paper. I particularly liked when they shouted demure at us. “SHE IS DEMURE IN HER DEMURE BLOUSE WALKING DEMURELY NEXT TO HER HUSBAND AS SHE DEMURES DOWN THE STREEt W THE BABY DEMURELY”. There have been many many many one offs about her clothes.

I could go on. All of that is to say that SH really did try to utilise various media to brand herself during this whole thing.

Im being totally honest here, IF SH had had a blog about being a woman in the arts, in a difficult niche area like opera. If she had an IG of her at gallery openings and operas. If she had a weekly or monthly in a paper or lifestyle mag about fashion, incorporating high end fashions that still work for busy moms on the go, if she had written a book about being married to a man nominated for an oscar, how to be a busy mummy around london w her own career and dealing w that. If she had been on daytime TV segments promoting childrens wear. If she had been involved in lots of childrens charities directly, beyond just getting a full shot of the last season dress she was paid to be seen in. if she had done all that? i actually may have found her interesting. I personally would have said “huh, ive not read the perspective of someone who is involved in opera specifically. Oh! she wrote about being a woman and a mom while maintaining her role in the arts! ill check that out. is that her on daytime TV? ill leave that segment on. who is this? oh its a book by the opera director. wow she has two kids so close together, maybe ill read her book. she how she "does it all”

Those are actual ways she could have attempted to brand herself.

Don’t get it twisted. SH DID, VERY MUCH, try and brand herself w articles by her, articles about her, media supporting events she was involved in. The problem is, no one was interested, she couldn’t continue any of it, and she just didn’t get an audience interested.

Personally I kinda wanna read about a whip smart, funny, artistic business mummy living in a major metropolitan city juggling kids and it all. I wonder where I could get that kind of content. I would purchase that.

J also didn’t get invited to the MET T anon

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All of this talk about blogging and article writing has me thinking back to a couple of Spinsie’s submissions (I really miss Spinsie by the way, but nothing has happened in more than 5 months, so I guess that explains why she’s abandoned us so heartlessly) regarding an alternative route Weirdo might have taken to brand herself as someone the general public could actually become interested in.

Think about it though JT.  Can you imagine the hours it would take for her to actually find the British equivalents for the products / services Kim Kardashian is pushing through her blog?  And if she were trying to copy Gwyneth Platrow and trying to promote a lifestyle as the latter does with Goop?  It sounds exhausting!

Anyway, the poor interns working for SHC have enough problems trying to push the image of Weirdo being a theatre director / opera director / model / actress / clown / playwright / singer / curator / theatre operator(!) / plagiarist...errrrrrrrr... I meant one-hit-wonder-editor for The Guardian / pianist / equestrian /  puppeteer  (have I forgotten any of her multiple discarded career paths?)

Shame on you JT.  Have some compassion for the poor interns!!!  :P

Now, if you want to get serious for a second, if there’s one moment I always go back to when it comes to how much of a famewhore Weirdo is, I don’t have to go any further than the way she smiled for the paparazzo during the Rent A Pilo pap walk in NYC.  The only reason I won’t post the picture is because I don’t want @gnanon to lose her glunch when she reads this post.

Enough said.