@enavant​ said: tell me how to make it better. @ hermes !!

“I do not know,”  Hermes’ voice is barely above that of a whisper,  “I wish I knew. Ah -- I wish I knew... ”  How badly his soul longs to have an answer for J’isu; and not just J’isu, but his companions on Elpis. People ask him so many questions, and Hermes feels the answers are never adequate for anyone, least of all him. He can logic his way out of things, push aside his misgivings with talk of duty and love and perfection, but this does nothing to quell the rising maelstrom in his heart. He speaks frankly of it with those who wish to share his heart, but even then he remains unsatisfied, desperate for something that seems ever out of reach.

He doesn’t know anything, so he just has to be miserable. He has become a tomb dedicated to the hallowed visage of his misery and nothing more. This beautiful, lovely, perfect world / on some days, Hermes wonders--and he is always ashamed of it when these thoughts bloom across his mind--what would happen if this world crumbled away? Would his fellow ancients still love their home even if it was ugly? Or would they abandon it in favor of perfection? AGAIN WITH THE QUESTIONS! Stop, Hermes, just stop -- it just hurts.

“...Would you indulge me for a moment?”  He swallows, tongue dry, the taste of chalk in his mouth.  “I would like to know more about you, J’isu. Have you felt your journey a worthwhile one despite the pain?”  He turns to look at them, expression somber. Those neon eyes. He hasn’t slept well in months.