until recently my university had offered all students a lifetime unlimited google drive account. loco behaviour on there parts but i think most people didn't use it like i did, filling it with literally all large files that were annoying to move or have copies of in other places. anyway recently they changed their policy to give unlimited while in university and then 5GB for alumni which makes sense. so i've had to clear out like.... a lot of stuff and then find duplicates and try put some sense on these files.

it's been the first time in a long time that i've been just... messing with files on my computer. not needing to be online at all (now they're all downloaded) and so just listening to music and sorting out folders and file locations. it felt nice to be On The Computer arranging my space.

I used to spend most of my time doing that when I was in school, when i became a heavy tumblr user in the first place. How do you run a successful autism fuelled kpop blog (or five)? with a really rock solid file management system. I was born to archive, in many ways.

messing around with files feels to me like doing work with my hands. having a well organised digital space feels like a well organised physical space. It's something i've deeply missed from my years of not having a computer - that there's no real satisfying way to organise your files and digital space on mobile, and so many files are like.. not yours? like my music in apple music isn't really mine to download and mess with, and tv shows and films on streaming services are not mine to move around where they make sense for me. it made me really disillusioned tbh and made me fall out of love with computers.

coming back to tumblr has reminded me that for me at least the thing of beauty for consuming anything is pulling out the things that are meaningful to us, curating examples of patterns. screenshots from scenes in a movie where peoples hands are among flowers. shots of rain across a series. i love these bits we pull out. and doing it requires having the files in our hands to cut up and paste together.

what i'm saying is i'm getting back into pirating things.