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disgruntledspacedad · 3 years

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Javier Peña and commitment

a better love series character analysis

Okay, not-so-briefly, let me finish what I started with this post, and say a few more words about Javier Peña and commitment.

I think typical fanon describes Javi as a rogue, smoky, commitment-phobe man slut. The kind of guy who never settles down because he’s too busy having fun with his hookers. And yeah, at first glance, that’s a valid assumption. Javi definitely puts off that vibe. Hell, I think he even believes that of himself.

I call bullshit, though.

Javi is obviously an affection starved softie who is seeking intimacy and human contact. He just doesn’t know how to get it. Watch how deeply he connects with each of the women he sleeps with. He publicly greets the hookers in Medellín by name (like seriously what man does this??) and his relationship with Gabby seems intensely personal. He cares about what happens to her. He’s sweet, almost tender with her.

This is a man with a huge heart and deep, unfulfilled needs.

Now, let me tease apart what I think happened that scarred Javi so profoundly.

I want to start with his family life.

Now, a lot of this falls deep into headcanon territory, but this entire post is in context of Better Love, so that’s fine. However, I don’t think it’s too far off the mark for canon Javi, too. Just things to bear in mind.

Okay, so in The Kingpin Strategy, Chucho makes references to the fact that Javi has always been free spirited and idealistic. “You couldn’t wait to get out of here.”

Javi says, “It was right here, wasn’t it? The last time we had this conversation.” He sounds resentful, frustrated.

And Chucho replies, “You didn’t listen to me then, either.”

Man oh man, this says a lot. There’s a lot of reference to some very old bitterness, most (but not all of it) on Javi’s end. Let’s break it down.

In Better Love, Javi lost his mom to colon cancer when he was nineteen. We know from canon that he was chomping at the bits to get out of town, so I kind of think that Javi packed his bags the day that he turned eighteen and left. He’s from a small, close knit family, and him taking off into the blue without any warning would have shocked them. It would have hurt.

The fact that he and Chuco have their conversation in the driveway is telling, too.

I think Javi spent some significant time estranged from his family, and things were probably still rocky between them when his mom passed away. Colon cancer can be pretty subtle. Javi’s mom didn’t get a diagnosis until it was far too late for effective treatment. It would have hit her hard and fast, and she and Javi may not have had much time to reconcile. Hell, she was upset by Javi leaving - she may not have even told him what was going on.

Ouch.

Now, Javi is a guy that silently shoulders all of the responsibility that he’s not meant to carry, and he’s absolutely going to blame himself for taking off like that, and for being too stubborn to call home and check on Mom. Her death is the first in a series of wounds that lead to Javi’s (very misguided) belief that he’s a shit human, when truly, nothing could be further from the truth.

Next, let’s talk about Lorraine.

We know from Javi’s conversation with Steve that he thinks Lorraine was better off without him, giving us another glimpse of that deep seated self-loathing that we know he carries. Javi almost sounds wistful, like he regrets leaving her. Certainly, he regrets hurting her (more proof that Javi is actually a pretty sensitive guy - he knows he fucked up). But then we actually meet Lorraine in season three, and there’s something really weird there.

Now, granted, Javi left her at the alter. Things are bound to be weird. But look at how he’s drawn to her, like he just can’t help crossing the room to see her again, even years later. That was the first big red flag for me.

Then, watch how Lorraine treats him. She’s dismissive, pretty biting. And okay, yeah, she’s well within her right to be bitter. But then she says this:

“Can you imagine if we actually were married?”

Like, scoffs it. Guys, that’s a pretty serious dig. Lorraine is implying that Javi is beneath her, that he could never, ever be decent husband material. And watch his reaction. He takes this cut like he’s used to taking this cut from her. I don't know, but to me, it just reeks of a history of toxicity.

Men are absolutely capable of being the victims of toxic relationships and emotional abuse. I mean, duh. But try telling that to Javier Peña, with his tendency to internalize and self destruct.

It would make a lot of sense to me that their relationship was built on this type of fucked up interaction, with Lorraine constantly pushing Javi to be this perfect dude with a white picket fence, and constantly calling him on his “failure” to do so. Maybe some of it was rooted in racism and classism - Lorraine seems like she could be that petty, materialistic type. Maybe Javi just wasn’t ready to settle down.

Remember, too, that Javi’s love language is acts of service. He’s not a super romantic guy in the traditional sense, but he wants to do things for the person he loves, practical, tangible things to keep them safe and happy. If Javi thought that he could do better by Lorraine by putting a ring on her finger, it might be pretty easy to persuade him that he “ought” to do that, especially if there’s a continued history of verbal abuse. Remember that we tend to believe the things our abusers say about us, and that most of the time, this stuff starts subtle. If Lorraine is constantly suggesting that Javi’s not good enough for her, eventually, he’s going to fucking believe it.

And consider the fallout of skipping town on your wedding day. No matter if the relationship is healthy or not, men tend to get the short end of the stick when it comes to breakup sympathy, and to leave a pretty woman like Lorraine waiting at the alter? My god, people would have been vicious to Javi.

He probably believed all of the shitty things they said about him.

Javi threw himself into his career, and between a dangerous, high stress job with the DEA and never addressing these old hurts (Javi just doesn’t do that, you know), what you wind up with is a deeply wounded, “self sufficient” (read: emotionally constipated) man with raging self esteem issues and an intense fear of emotional intimacy. Now, all of this shit might have scarred Javi, but it doesn’t change his nature. Javi has a huge heart, he’s fiercely idealistic, and he desperately wants to do the right thing. And we all need love and human connection.

Javi just denies this emphatically.

But the ugly truth is, Javi avoids long term relationships because he thinks he doesn’t deserve them. It’s not even about being hurt again, not anymore. He almost sees it as an ethical thing, dammit. Give this boy a hug.

This is why it took a fucking bomb to get him off his ass and admit his feelings for Ears. Javi would never, ever have done that without something very radical catching his attention. He would have let Ears walk straight out of his life, and yeah, it would have torn him to pieces, and he’d have always regretted it and wondered ‘what if,’ but that fear is an old, deeply rooted thing. That’s why I have Ears sort of pick up on the gravity of Javi saying, “I’m all in,” to her at the end of The Rules of Engagement. She’s not eloquent, but she’s pretty intuitive, and she knows that a commitment is something that Javier Peña does not take lightly.

And let me just say this about commitment: Javier Peña is a man who honors his fucking commitments. Watch what he’s willing to do for his informants - he always, always puts their wellbeing first, even before his own, even before the integrity of the hunt for the cartels.

And Javier Peña is beyond devoted to bringing down the cartels. Like, that’s his entire arc in the show, right?

He’s committed to justice, too. Like fiercely, will do fucking anything to make things right, to make them fair. He wants to do the right thing so much it burns.

So, I don’t think it’s fair at all to say that Javier Peña is a man who fears commitment. He fears intimacy, while at the same time, he craves it. He fears human connection, when really, that’s the thing he needs most.

But he doesn’t fuck around once he decides something.

Which is the really, really fun thing about Better Love. For the first time, we get to see Javier Peña, the idealist who wears his poorly disguised heart blatantly on his sleeve, the man who goes for broke trying to get things done, the man who’s passions literally destroy him, in an intensely emotional relationship with another human. One who is just as devoted to him in return.

So, anyway, if you’re still reading this, wow. I just wanted to babble about how Javier Peña is far more than brooding testosterone. Actually, he’s a very soft boy who needs patience and a lot of healing, and somebody who is willing to meet him exactly where he is and love him because of it.

And I want to give him that.

#Javier Peña #Javier Peña x reader #narcos #narcos netflix #pedro pascal #Javier Peña headcanon #Javier Peña imagine #Javier Peña x you #better love #the rules of engagement #i will spam you guys about this precious disaster couple for as long as you let me

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cblgblog · 5 years

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On that Siberia fight in Civil War

Rewatched Civil War recently and just…need this of my chest.

First thing, Steve saying yes when Tony asked if he knew about Bucky killing the Starks.

If the implication is that Steve did know unequivocally, for sure, then that should’ve been handled a lot better. What we were actually shown was a blink and you’ll miss it shot among a montage of HYDRA’s greatest hits that was, at best, an implication. And Steve’s being shown this by a computer version of an evil Nazi, who admits in the same breath that HYDRA’s whole thing for the last 70-odd years has been lies and manipulation.

It’s possible that Steve could’ve gotten better confirmation later. He could’ve gotten it from Bucky’s file, the one Nat gave him at the end of Cap 2, he maybe could’ve gotten it during the 2 years he was looking for leads…it could have happened. But they needed to show us if it did, because that HYDRA clip show? Not enough for a solid “yes” on Steve knowing.

I always took Steve saying yes as Steve being Steve in a bad situation, knowing that saying he didn’t know was a lie, so he says yes. Because he knew more than Tony did, and it’s not like Tony is going to take a “Yes, but let me explain” answer. But regardless, it needed better handling, if we’re meant to believe that Steve did know for certain.

Now, Tony attacking Bucky, even though he acknowledged 5 minutes earlier (with his Manchurian Candidate jab) that he knows Bucky isn’t responsible for Winter Soldier’s actions. So many people hate this, and rightfully so. I will say that I don’t condone it, but I understand it. Off the top of my head, the usual anti-Tony arguments here are

· The loss was decades ago, not recent, he shouldn’t be reacting so strongly

· He should’ve gotten some therapy and handled his grief like an adult

· He hated Howard anyway, why react so violently?

Yes, the loss was decades ago, but it’s still a man watching his parents be murdered. By the man standing a few feet away. With Tony’s mind and his instant “I know that road” we can assume he’s played out the scenario in his head a thousand times over the years. And that’s when he thought it was a car wreck. Watching your parents get murdered is going to screw with anyone’s mind, even someone healthy, which Tony so isn’t.

He should have gotten therapy, dealt with the loss in a healthy way, but he clearly didn’t. He even says during the MIT demonstration that he actively avoided processing his grief. Which isn’t an excuse for his behavior, but does explain it somewhat. Wounds heal if you treat them. If you don’t, there’s festering, infection, scarring…the 20-odd years on it’s own wouldn’t have automatically softened the loss.

Tony may have hated Howard, or parts of him, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t love him too. If he didn’t yearn for the man’s approval, he wouldn’t have made such a speech about not getting it in IM 2. If he didn’t care, it wouldn’t matter. Parent/child relationships are so much more complicated than just one thing, and if there’s abuse or neglect, even more so. On a side note, Howard always seemed more the absentee dad, the careless dad who talks without knowing the damage of his words than the raging abusive drunk the stans want to make him out to be. Which in this case means it’s more likely that Tony didn’t all out hate the guy, even before Endgame where we get the Tony and Howard scenes.

And even if he did, Tony’s feelings for Howard don’t have to matter here, because he says “I don’t care. He killed my mom.” Even if he hated Howard completely (which later canon disproves), okay, he’s still hearing his mom begging for her life.

So, it was a cruel, manipulative tactic by Zemo, and I get why it pushed Tony to doing what he did.

Here’s the thing. That doesn’t make it okay. It doesn’t make his prior actions throughout this and other movies okay. Should Steve have told him about Bucky? Maybe, if he knew for sure, which again, don’t think he did. But Tony’s actions on finding out are pretty solid proof that Steve had solid reason to shut up, too. The video exacerbated the whole thing greatly, yes. If Tony was thinking a little more clearly, it maybe wouldn’t have gone that far.

Does that mean that Steve could’ve told him in a better moment and Tony wouldn’t have reacted in a similar way? Hell no. He might not have physically attacked Steve, or had Bucky there to beat on, but that doesn’t mean we’d get the lovely fanon of Tony forgiving and forgetting, doing his best to treat Bucky, giving him a wing in Avengers Tower…hell no. He still would’ve hunted Bucky down, or tried. He still would’ve been out for blood.

Tony hasn’t had a healthy brain in years. He’s been a mess of fear and anxiety and misplaced savior complex. Even if Steve had told him the truth at some point in the 2 years between Cap 2 and 3, it wouldn’t have gone well for Bucky.

And I kind of get it. Mind controlled or not, the guy physically murdered Tony’s parents. That’s hard to just shrug off. But ultimately, Bucky didn’t have a choice in it, it was not Bucky who really pulled that trigger, and it’s not fair to try to kill a man for something he couldn’t control.

And again, I do not totally hate Tony for that fight. I can understand why he did it. He’s a damaged man, he was manipulated. But, not an excuse. Every other Avenger has some kind of trauma equal to or worse than anything Tony went through. Nat was sterilized, tortured. Clint had his mind controlled and killed innocent people because of it. Bruce turns into a green rage monster and, at least in early films, has little to no control over the destruction he causes.

Everyone on that team is damaged, but Tony is the only on who gets a free pass for everything because of it. Tony’s parents being killed by Bucky wasn’t revealed to him until the end of the movie. The Accords are still the equivalent of hitting a nail with a sledgehammer, a terrible solution to a legitimate problem. He’s still using them as a way to deal with his guilt, and you don’t do that when it affects countless other lives, including those of your friends. He still shot Sam at close range…why? Because Sam did the very human thing of trying not to get shot out of the air? Because Vision, a member of Tony’s team, shot down Rhodey?

Even if you go for the fact that Steve lied, and he is a terrible friend, and that Tony ultimately trying to actually kill Steve for it was a somewhat understandable reaction in the moment? Doesn’t excuse Tony’s behavior. In Civil War, in AoU, in Infinity War when literally no one else on either Avengers team cared about The Accords, the airport fight, but he’s still hesitating to call Steve when the fate of the universe is at stake.

I can understand why Tony does a lot of what he does. I think some of it is more complex than some of the antis who are more anti than me do. Understanding is not an excuse. Being hurt and traumatized yourself doesn’t excuse giving anyone, especially your friends, the same treatment.

#anti tony stark #anti tony stans #pro steve rogers #Steve Rogers #civil war

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