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orionsstory · 10 months

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New York Nights (2) (Rosénali Superhero AU)

A/N: Here's chapter two! Friendly reminder this isn't beta's (we die like men lol) so pls be kind lolol Originally uploaded sometime in January 2022 lol ----- Chapter Two: Dinner --

Now at the dinner table, Rosé and Denali hadn't spoken a word to the other, simply shaking hands (with a forced smile from Denali). The two sat across from each other, avoiding eye contact in complete silence. "Oh no!" came Jackie's voice from the kitchen, "I must've forgotten an ingredient! I'll have to run to the store to get it..." Denali soon heard the click-clack of Jackie's heels on their floor as she grabbed her purse. She saw Jan follow shortly, "I'll come with you!" she said, lightly touching Jackie's arm. Jackie eagerly nodded, and the two turned to leave. "Have fun you two! Rosé, don't bite!" Jan called out, sending her sister a wink as the apartment door closed.

Rosé cleared her throat, "Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom." She pushed out of her chair to leave, at the same time Denali shot up from her seat, her chair falling, and pinned the pink woman against the wall. "I don't know what you think you're doing," Denali snarled, "but you and your sister leave Jackie out of this. I don't know how you found out my identity, but-"

"Jan doesn't have anything to do with this, and I didn't know you'd be the same woman trying to kill me yesterday."

"I wasn't trying to kill you!"

"Could've fooled me, Blondie." Rosé teased.

"You're one to talk! You shot giant blasts of energy at me! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME!" Denali shouted, pulling her dress up to expose her bandages.

"Woah there, slow your roll. This is only our first date, let's try and make it through dinner first."

Denali groaned and rubbed her temples, "God fucking damn it, of course, this would happen." she grumbled. "Listen, I'm not thrilled about this either..." Rosé examined her nails, "but now we know each other's identities. Obviously, I don't want to be outed, and neither do you." Denali paused for a moment, "And?" she questioned. "I'm suggesting we play nice for tonight- give Jan and Jackie a nice date, and then we'll never have to see each other again!" Denali considered her words for a moment.

"Fine. But if I see you out, I'm taking you down."

"If you can catch me!" Rosé sent her a wink as she brushed past Denali towards the bathroom.

Denali made a sound of frustration, trying to ignore the blush rising to her cheeks. It seemed Rosé knew just how to push her buttons- and she hated it. She balled her fists up and tried to push down the emotions she was feeling- she had to try and act normal, for Jackie's sake. Jackie had done so much for her, she seemed so interested in Jan- Denali couldn't mess that up, no matter how much she wanted to throw Rosé into the nearest ocean.

Jan and Jackie arrived back at the apartment ten minutes later, with some vegetables Denali swore she had seen in the pantry earlier today. By that time, Rosé had returned to the table. the two had been making small talk when the others returned. "Denali, could you come and help me with this real quick?" Jackie called from the kitchen. Denali rose from her seat as Jan slid into the seat next to Rosé, whispering into her ear.

"Could you cut those carrots up for me?" Jackie turned over her shoulder. Denali nodded, grabbed a knife from a nearby drawer, and began cutting. "Soooo," Jackie quietly chirped, "how's Rosé?" Denali froze for a second, before remembering the promise. "She's...she's cool." Denali managed to grit out, shifting all of her focus to slicing the carrots. She heard Jackie hum, "Did she tell you she's a singer? She performs at some of the downtown nightclubs!" Denali rolled her eyes, 'Of course,' she thought, 'why wouldn't she be a singer? An overconfident asshole, it fits the vibe.' "She didn't actually! That's so interesting!" She plastered a fake smile on.

She finished chopping the carrots, slid them over to Jackie, and cleaned the knife. "Thanks 'Nali!" Jackie smiled at her as she put her dish in the oven, "Dinner will be ready in about...45 minutes!" Jan bounced over to Jackie's side, took her arm, and whispered something in her ear. "That's a great idea!" Jackie flushed, "Jan suggests we should play some games!"

And so, that's how Denali ended up playing Uno with Rosé by her side, and Jan and Jackie sitting across from them, being sickeningly sweet. Denali had the fewest cards so far, but she also seemed to be the only one really trying to win. "Jan, it's your turn." Rosé softly nudged her sister on. Jan snapped her attention back towards the game, and a small 'oh!' came from her as she put down a +4. Denali raised her eyebrow as she glanced toward Rosé, who was looking at her. Denali quickly glanced away. "Hmm..." she murmured to herself, the pink-haired woman debating her next move. Denali glanced towards her again and noticed another +4 in her deck. She groaned a bit and glanced at her one card left.

"Damn...guess I have to draw!" She sighed, picking up four cards. Denali furrowed her brows and glanced at Rosé, confused. "I guess I win," Denali spoke to no one in particular, placing down her last card. She heard Jackie and Jan congratulating her, but her mind was swirling with other thoughts. Why would Rosé let her win? Did it mean something? Surely not! Right? Denali thought she would've been all about winning, Jan even warned her she was!

She glanced back towards Rosé, who shot a small smile her way. Denali, who was even more confused at this point, tried to shoot her one back- ignorant of the blush rising to her cheeks. Soon, the kitchen timer beeped alerting them of their dinner being done. Jackie jumped up and rushed towards the kitchen, pulling on her oven mitts and quickly taking the dish out of the oven.

While Jackie took care of putting the last touches on the food and getting it out, Denali collected everyone's drinks. Jackie had bought a fancy bottle of, go figure, Rosé for the night, and as Denali carefully collected the wine glasses from the top shelf with the help of the stool, she could feel a pair of eyes on her. She quickly retrieved four glasses, and as she took a step down she lost her balance. Her mind was in panic mode and seemed to go in slow motion as she fell. However, before she could hit the ground, she felt a pair of hands catch her, steadying her.

"Careful there doll," a voice whispered in her ear, "how am I gonna beat you in our rematch if you're hurt?"

Denali's cheeks flushed a bright red, turning her head slightly she was met with Rosé's smug smile. She quickly jolted out of the other girl's arms and turned to face her. "Thank you," she said as coldly and calmly as possible (she still stuttered), letting out a sigh. Rosé took two of the glasses out of the other girl's hands, "Nice ass, by the way." And with a wink, she turned and left for the table. Denali stood in the kitchen clutching onto the glasses, her face now a bright and vibrant shade of red.

She had to stand there for a minute calming herself down before she was able to make it back into the dining room. "Sorry about the wait," she apologized, setting down her two glasses in front of herself and Rosé. "It's alright, we didn't wait too long!" Jan chirped, handing the alcohol to the blonde. She poured the wine out for herself and Rosé before taking her seat next to Jackie. Everyone began eating, and the other three complimented Jackie endlessly on her cooking. Before long, the compliments towards Jackie changed into a conversation.

"So Denali, where do you work?" Jan asked her. "I work at the nearby ice rink part-time, I give people skating lessons," she explained, "but I'm actually in college for Women's Studies. It's my senior year." Jan nodded, "So we're probably around the same age! I'm in my senior year of Theatre!" Denali flashed her a smile, "That must be fun! What made you decide on Theatre?"

"It's simple actually! Our family is all singers, Rosé, Gonna, and I even have a band! So it kind of just felt natural, y'know? Rosie and Goona went to school for it as well, and it felt right for me to do it too!" Jan rambled, her energy made Denali feel hyper. "They're really good," Jackie chimed in, "you'll have to come with me sometime!" "Maybe I will!" Denali grinned at Jan, who reacted with a squeal- she didn't miss Rosé's small smile, either.

The table continued chattering and eating, Denali couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or the people, but she started to feel warm inside. She seemed to be constantly smiling and had even begun to be less icy towards Rosé. By the time they finished dinner, it was 9 pm and Denali was definitely a little tipsy. "Oh, it's so late. You two should get home soon." Jackie worried, "Denali and I can take care of the dishes." Jan shook her head, "Nope! You made this delicious meal for us, I'm at least staying to help clean! Besides, I don't think Denali would be much help..." The others at the table laughed, Denali squinting at Jan in annoyance and sticking out her tongue.

"Okay, if you insist." Jackie laughed, picking up some of the plates. "Rosé, would you watch over Denali? I probably should have mentioned she's a bit of a lightweight!" Rosé smiled at the other woman, "Of course! C'mon, let's get you to the couch." Denali felt Rosé's hands urging her up, and she obliged. The older girl led her over to the couch, where she promptly flopped down. Rosé sat down next to her, watching the drunk girl with a smile on her face. Turning towards the other girl, Denali ran her hand through Rosé's hair, "Pink..." she muttered.

"Great observation, doll." Rosé chuckled. It didn't take much longer for Jackie and Jan to finish, and soon enough Jackie came into the living room. "I hope she isn't giving you too much trouble," Jackie looked at Denali's hand stroking the other girl's hair, "Denali is a very touchy drunk." she sighed. "It's no problem," Rosé laughed, taking the other's hand out of her hair, "thanks again for dinner, it was lovely!"

Jackie had helped Denali brush her teeth and get ready for bed and then had tucked her in (despite Denali's protests), singing her a lullaby to help her sleep. That was the last thing Denali remembered as she drifted off to sleep, and into a dream.

She was standing on the ledge of a building overlooking New York City at night, the night sky dark and brooding above her. She looked at herself, her blue costume adorned her body. Denali knew this dream, she's had it many times before. Often she dreamt of being a famous hero or taking down a horrific supervillain, sometimes she just dreamt of flying around the city. She liked these dreams, she liked them a lot. She felt free and confident in these dreams, she didn't have to worry about failure or embarrassment in these dreams. She gave a sigh of relief and took several steps back to take a running leap off the building.

She jumped, eager for her body to take flight- however, she began to fall. It took her by surprise, her mouth hung open in shock. Denali looked upward as the sky grew farther and farther away, and she began to panic. She began to cry, reaching her hand upwards toward the sky. She desperately tried to fly, even use her powers- but nothing came. She started to scream, as she plummeted towards the concrete.

Denali awoke and bolted up in her bed, she was heavily breathing and felt out of breath. Glancing at the clock, she could see it was 4:29 in the morning. She put her hand to her forehead and felt her hands shaking terribly. "Denali?" Jackie rushed into her room, her fluffy robe hastily wrapped around her, "Are you okay? What happened? I heard you scream?" She sat on the bed and put a hand on Denali's shoulder. She tried to speak, but nothing came out, only her heavy breathing. "Hey, it's alright. Take some deep breaths, okay?" Jackie calmed her, and Denali did as she advised.

"Jackie? Do...do you think I could lose my powers?" Denali managed to breathe out. "What? Of course not, why would you think that?" Jackie rubbed Denali's back as the girl began to cry. She explained her dream to Jackie, "I...I felt so powerless," she sobbed, "it was awful, Jackie." Jackie pulled her into a hug and ran her hands through Denali's hair, "I'm so sorry Denali...that must have been terrifying. But, that'll never happen."

"How can I be sure? I don't even know how I got my powers, Jackie, it might disappear as suddenly as it appeared."

Denali continued to sob as Jackie comforted her friend, "I'm going to fetch you some water, okay?" Denali nodded, "I'll be right back." Jackie wiped a tear from Denali's face and gave her a small smile. Soon, she returned with a glass of water and made Denali drink. "I'm sorry for waking you up," she sniffled, "it's just a stupid dream."

"Hey, it's not stupid, hell- your dream sounds terrifying. But that's normal. It's just a bad nightmare, nothing more to it. You're an amazing hero, by far my favorite, and you kick ass!" Jackie cupped the other girl's face, "You're totally biased." Denali smiled. "So what if I am? It's true!" Denali laughed at Jackie, shoving her lightly. "So, are you feeling any better?" Denali nodded, "Yeah, I am, thank you, Jackie." Jackie smiled at her warmly, "Of course, now back to bed you go."

Denali was able to fall back asleep rather quickly and peacefully, with no more dreams that night. Jackie stayed in her room a little longer, watching her friend to make sure nothing else happened to her. When Jackie was satisfied that she was safely and soundly asleep, she rose up and brushed her robe down. "Good night, Denali," she smiled and gently bent down to kiss her forehead tonight.

#Rosénali #rosenali #denali foxx #rpdr #rpdr fanfiction #jankie #jackie cox #jan sport #new york nights #rpdr s13 #rpdr s12

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greensparty · 1 year

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Talking with Ondi Timoner

When I read the news about the Oscar Shortlist of Best Documentary Features it made me quite happy to see one particular documentarian on the list, which is made up of 15 documentaries released in 2022 that will be whittled down to 5 nominees when the Academy Award nominations are announced on January 24. It was a really strong year for docs and I was glad to see Hallelujah: Leonard Cohen, a Journey, a Song and the David Bowie doc Moonage Daydream make the list, but I was elated to see Last Flight Home from director Ondi Timoner. She is one of the great documentary filmmakers of our time. Hands down! I was so blown away by her 2004 years-in-the-making doc Dig! about the friendship and rivalry between indie rock bands The Dandy Warhols and Brian Jonestown Massacre after I saw it in the movie theater that I actually reached out to her via her website and she got back to me. I sent her my short film Musician For Hire, which had some similar themes as Dig!, and she gave me some great feedback and we later met up at the Dig! DVD Party in NYC. We have met a few times since and stayed in touch. Since Dig! she has made several fascinating docs such as Join Us about escapees from a cult and We Live in Public about an early dot-com pioneer. Now she has made her most deeply personal film yet.

In early 2021, following some hospitalizations Ondi’s father Eli (the founder of Air Florida), made a decision to end his life under California’s End of Life Option Act. Leading up to Eli’s final days, Ondi documented her family’s time with him in his home. Ondi’s mother Elissa and her siblings Rachel and David bond with their father in his final weeks and the doc looks at his extraordinary life. It is shot cinema verite style. For me, I definitely got choked up more than a few times while watching it. The documentary premiered at the 2022 Sundance Film Festival and has played multiple festivals before MTV Documentary Films released it in Fall 2022. I recently caught up with Ondi via Zoom.

movie poster (with young Ondi in the blue jacket)

OT: What’d you think of the film?

Me: It was amazing. It hit really close to home for me, obviously this is the story of your family and father, but there were many things that hit close to home for me and I got choked up many times throughout the film. But I have nothing but respect for you in telling the story in the way that you did. Not just saying this, but sometimes you see films that just go beyond being a film or a documentary and are more of a life experience, and this is very much one of them.

OT: Yeah, I feel like it’s more of a spiritual experience from the way people react to it. It affects people so deeply. I had no idea that sharing something so personal would be so affecting. But it’s obviously a beautiful thing. I worried at the premiere what the result would be of putting my family on display in their most vulnerable moments. But the result is it tends to really heal people in a lot of ways. Even if they cry, a lot of people call them tears of joy, that there is a catharsis that occurs that is different than watching a normal film. I’ve just never had feedback for anything in my life for anything I’ve ever made. I don’t know if I ever will again. It’s kind of its own experience really.

Me: Prior to the beginning of 2021 when this documentary begins, did you sit down with your family and discuss making a documentary about this? Or were you filming for the family and then much later thought it would make a good documentary?

OT: I was filming this for the family, that’s exactly right. I was filming it for myself, because when Dad said he wanted to die, that came as complete shock to all of us because he had been such a tenacious and positive person his whole life, despite the stroke. He always rooted for all of us, he never complained. But the idea of it, I mean of course everyone dies, but we never expected for him to elect for that. We didn’t even know there was a law for that, he was just electing for that because he realized he was going to have to go to a facility. That was where he relied on quality of life, because everything he loved was in his house with my Mom and being around the family. That is what kept him going. So when he made that call and decided that he needed to die, I panicked and decided I needed to film. As you can tell in the film I started recording audio right away. I went to see a therapist because I was so concerned that I was trying to mediate the experience or that I was trying to distance myself or that I’d be hurting my family. I thought this must be a terrible idea, but I just felt such an impulse to film. And I had no intention, Eric, of ever making a film. I was always going to make a scripted film about Dad. When you look at the footage or maybe you remember, you see papers on the bed - that’s the script I had written about Dad and that I’ve been working on for years. Because the only archival footage I have of Dad and the airline is about fifteen minutes worth of footage. So people my whole career that told me “wow, your Dad has such an extraordinary story” and it was always my dream to tell his story, but I always believed I’d tell it with a scripted film. So anyways, the therapist, I told “I feel like I have to set up cameras and film my Dad’s final days” and she said “if you feel like you should film, you should film”. So I called my Dad and he said “I instinctively know you’re on the right track”. I didn’t even know what track I was on, but I was on a track that he knew more than I did. He never had us turn the cameras off. I honestly felt like the presence of cameras felt like a relief to me. It allowed me to focus on his care and it allowed me to know that I wouldn’t forget him. That I wouldn’t forget his voice and his personality. It was like a safety blanket or something. More than anything it made pure presence possible. As opposed to taking presence away. I don’t think that would’ve been the case if I knew I was making a film probably. But I also set up that nest camera - you saw that’s a surveillance camera in the scene when Gigi (his granddaughter) comes. I set that up because I didn’t want to focus on the filmmaking process or the process of documenting. I just wanted it to be seamless and visible as possible. So what I did was I set up cameras all around and what I did was I would move them or operated them when other people were with Dad, otherwise I would just turn them on and be with Dad and take care of him. Those were the most beautiful days of my life in a lot of ways. I felt like that was just an absolutely sacred space in that room. I know that Dad was really so happy and at peace to know that we were supporting his decision. That set the tone for the room. He was kind, he was funny with everyone who walked in the room. I didn’t realize that until I started watching the footage when my sister asked me to make a memorial video after Dad died.

Me: It’s such a beautiful thing that you have all this footage of grandkids, friends of the family, everyone with your Dad.

OT: You know, when my sister asked me to make this memorial video it was only about two weeks after Dad died. I could not believe the footage. I was blown away. She just said “you have footage of Dad, don’t you? Can you just cut five minutes of footage?” and five weeks later we had a thirty-two minute memorial video. I didn’t even leave the room. Dad was alive inside the Avid and I could laugh and cry with him. And I started noticing all of these incredible arcs. I kind of went from daughter to filmmaker in those weeks. I just went - oh my God! There is so much here of all of this incredible transformational material. I knew as we went through it that it was deeply profound, but I didn’t know until I watched the footage that every single person in that room had changed. I so busy as his daughter, trying to host people and make sure these zooms happened. More than anything, I tried to get Dad to realize that he gave us everything because he thought he was a failure and gave us nothing. So I had different goals and trying to get my Mom to face it. I was just caught up in the family. But as a filmmaker I could watch all I wanted in the Avid and I couldn’t stop cutting. After the memorial a lot of the people on the zoom memorial felt like their feelings about death had changed. So I realized this footage was really valuable to people and I realized this is something we all go through. And so I just kept editing after that. And of course my Dad’s arc in realizing he had measured his life wrong and thought that success was based on money and stature. He thought he was a failure and in fact he was a massive success because he had gained all of our love and devotion. He had everyone’s love he had ever touched in his life. That was what really put it over the top for me to share this footage. For me, for you, for all of the people out there to feel like they have shortcomings, this is an invitation to let go.

Ondi Timoner

Me: I have nothing but respect and admiration for you in being able to compartmentalize and say “I’m going to be here for my father and my family” but then put on your filmmaker hat and be setting up the camera and the microphone at the same time. On that note, you mentioned the scripted film of your Dad, prior to his final years, had you thought about doing a film about your father’s life?

OT: I started writing it eight years ago. I wrote the first draft. But I told a producer who reminded me recently that when I won at Sundance for Dig! in 2004, a producer asked, then, what I wanted to do and I said I wanted to make a scripted film about my father. I sort of pitched them the story then. But it wasn’t until I cracked my foot and I was off my feet for a month. In that month I would call Dad everyday and I’d just talk to him and interview him basically and just go through newspaper articles and everything and I put the first draft of the script together then, which I still dream to make. I would love to do it. The whole experience of sharing this emotional film and audiences telling me a lot about their own experiences has influenced the script for me. I need to do another rewrite on it, but it’d definitely my dream project.

Me: Looking at your filmography, I feel like the through line in all your films is these extremely multi-layered intriguing subjects, i.e. Anton Newcombe, Josh Harris, Russell Brand, Robert Mapplethorpe - whether you like them or not, you’re just fully engaged with what they’re doing. Is that your priority when you’re deciding a film project to take on?

OT: What I care about is telling the story of people I care about who do what they do against all odds, who change the rules along the way. Most of my characters are extremely flawed as you know and I don’t shy away from those flaws. My father is by far the least flawed of all of them of what I call the Impossible Visionaries. But he is also, in fact, he’s my Original Impossible Visionary. He takes on the impossible and he’s not going to take no for an answer. That’s what he did, that’s how he built the airline, that’s how it became the fastest growing airline in the world, that’s how he stayed positive against all odds through his life and kept creating and creating happiness around him and joy for all of us. And being there for us. And to recover from the stroke as much as he did with such positivity. I really hope to make the scripted film because that really brings the 1970s and 1980s part of his life alive. It was a crazy time in aviation and Dad put deregulation through congress and he worked hard to make the skies open to all people no matter how much money you had or how old you were. He had senior citizens and students flying for eighteen dollars. They were called Pleasure Fares and he would offer students a massive discount to fly around. Things like that. My whole life, he’s inspired me to be who I am.

Me: Some of my favorite filmmakers are the ones who dabble in both narrative and documentary. You did the narrative film Mapplethorpe. In addition to your father’s scripted film, do you have plans for more narrative storytelling?

OT: No plans beyond this one, but I’m open. You never know what happens in this world. With Mapplethorpe, it was invited to premiere at Sundance and that was the Director’s Cut. It was on Hulu and now I have to figure out what happened to it, because that’s the complete version, that’s the script that I wrote.

Me: The timing of this interview is incredible because it was just announced that your new documentary The New Americans: Gaming a Revolution is premiering at South By Southwest in March. Congrats and not to jinx anything, but best of luck during awards season with Last Flight Home as well.

OT: Thank you! Well, my Dad is definitely my favorite leading man of all. He’s quite an inspiring character and his wisdom is captured in that footage. I think that’s his gift to me and now it’s his gift to the world.

me with Ondi at the Dig! DVD Release Party in NYC on 4/11/2005

For info on Last Flight Home: https://www.interloperfilms.com/lastflighthome

For info on Ondi Timoner: https://www.interloperfilms.com/about-ondi

#ondi timoner #last flight home #interview #documentary #filmmaking #eli timoner #dig!#join us #we live in public #brand: a second coming #mapplethorpe #the new americans: gaming a revolution #film geek

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streep-mulgrew-anderson · 1 year

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💫 2022 💫

Going into to 2022, there were still many things from 2021 I was waiting for… those pre Emmy pics on the stairs and for Gillian to actually acknowledge Ninapharm.

For me, I had nothing but hope and optimism at the start of the year. Surely it can’t get any worse… right??

So all of this is written in the moment. Well, it should be interesting to see if some vibes actually came to be. Here we go…

January

January started off painfully slow. I believe Gillian was filming in Pennsylvania maybe?? Maybe not. Anyway. 6 days into January and what like 2 -3 weeks since we had seen her, Gillian was spotted eating scones and drinking tea and posed for a picture sending everyone into relief that she was in fact still alive. And then on the 8th she finally posted something; Nelson. But it wouldn’t be until the 26th that she would finally post a selfie… saving the world. January ended with two new videos. One of Gillian interviewing FLEE director Jonas Poher Rasmussen. Love how she started the interview completely American and then the next minute she’s full on Brit! And the other, Gillian wearing silk Pjs, giving a look to die for. So after January starting incredibly slowly, it ended with Gillian being back in her active on social media era.

February

February started with Gillian working with yet another beauty company, only, she’s promoting it this time. And of course, Stella joined in the fun. Then Gillian decided she was going to be more active in one day on Twitter than she has been in weeks, and legit asked to play Sarah Paulsen’s wife. Robin robin was nominated for an Oscar. She then did a sit down Q and A thing that was amazing. Gillian also seems to have gotten an Apple Watch for Christmas which surprise surprise has Stella as the background. Gillian also entered her podcast era which has not been as exciting as I thought it would be. She really only talks for the first and last 5 minutes. I’m sure she puts in a lot of time researching which story to use but I was a little disappointed (And it’s actually mostly written by her social media manager...but I didn’t tell you that) Feb ended with G’s appearance at Whodunnit 2’ at Park Theatre.

March

March started with a fresh pfp and header… which I had first on my Twitter so she clearly stole my idea. We got to see some behind the scenes shots of Gillian recording her podcast. Gillian went to LA…. Honestly didn’t see that one coming with a commitment in Cannes days after. As soon as I saw Robin Robin scored an Oscar nom, I thought… I so can see her going to the Oscars. Gillian did some First Lady press. I didn’t think press would start soon so but I’m not complaining. And I’ve got my fingers and toes crossed for gillovny content. Of course though, none of that happened, we just got Stella playing ball in a London park. Gillian signed a deal with Netflix to produce some new tv shows and holy shit I’m so proud. And you know me, I’m a sucker for a good theory so in my humble opinion that certain contract with a certain someone really paid off, I just wish it didn’t have to play out like that. Her production company has actually been a thing for a really long time.

April

April started off with Gillian being awarded the icon award at Cannes series. I found it odd though that nothing was posted to her socials of her getting ready beforehand because pretty much every event she goes to, she does. (? change in SM manager?) Though the next day before her Q&A she did post some before hand stuff and then did post stuff from the day before. Honestly am loving this phase she is going through. Though, it was at about this time that a fear crept into my mind. A fear that I thought was left behind in 2020…

The first lady press that was filmed back in Match started airing. It definitely doesn’t seem like a strong Emmy campaign which I find strange too. Gillian also realised more stuff with windsor London, not that she promoted it. Gillian did end up going to LA again and attended Jimmy Kimmel in person which has always been a great interview. In a quick recap, she ran into a door and talked about eating her penis cake. Gillian also decided to start wearing earrings in her seconds again. And as someone who has their seconds pierced, I’m loving this and can’t wait to see if she continues to do it to get some inspiration.

Gillian attended the First Lady premiere and omg I actually loved the bright pink pantsuit. I obviously only started following Gillian during lockdown so it’s actually so cool to see her back out again on red carpets. And then Gillian just casually dropped that Sex Ed has been pushed back again and won’t start filming till the end of summer through till march. Like are you kidding me. I don’t think I can wait that long. It better be fucking good. So within like 48 hours, Gillian jetted out of LA with a video reel on her Instagram which was adorable. I’m loving this era of Gillian. And also they re pierced her ears apparently for Jimmy Kimmel only because it was gone by the next day.

The First Lady started to air. The first episode left me a little on the fence. I think because the Obama and Ford eras are more recent than the Rossavelts, that’s why maybe it’s not exactly hitting the mark straight away. I’m actually okay with the timeline being all over the place. Gillian is obviously acing it but it is unfortunately that story line that so far is what is letting the show down. Gillian of course posted some behind the scenes shots to mark the show starting. The 18th of April passed with unfortunately no selfie update. Gillian also did a photo shoot for L’Officiel which is surprisingly her first one of the year and again was perfect.

May

How are we in May already! May started with me holding on to a really slim hope that Gillian would attend the Met gala. I know she mostly hated it last year but there a few subtle clues indicating that she might attend. But then I realised that she already had an event booked for that day 😫 and then it turns out she didn’t even go to either event. Gillian, still in her Instagram reel era posted one of her time on set of the First Lady. Honestly though, she actually seems like so much fun to work with. Connie posted the absolute most gorgeous photo of Gillian and piper which of course Gillian shared. Gillian, still in her influencer era was spotted filming so ads in London. We had our first Gillovny moment of the year. Connie posted a pic of them and Gillian tagged David and added it to her stories. David let the team down and never publicly acknowledged it but we all know he slid into her DMs… well…. He was probably already there.

So then this video of From Jimmy Kimmel came out and Gillian AND David were in it and next to each other (not really though)

The First Lady continued to air and holy shit seeing Gillian kiss a woman multiple times changed my life and made me rethink the last year of Gillian content.

Gillian recorded a reading for Women's Prize for Fiction: Virtual Shortlist Festival 2022 which was completely toaster quality.

As the First Lady continues to air, I’m surprisingly falling more in love with it. And then May ended with actually footage of Gillian and her most likely re heated soggy chips. If you know what I mean by this then don’t talk to me about it because I am holding onto a thin string trying not to do the same. I wish that toaster would just disappear. I’m not surprised just disappointed. And for people who hate the judgement, 1I’ve never dated someone that all my friends have liked. It’s basically the blue print of being a friend. As long as she’s happy that’s all that really does matter. We all know she could do so much better but at the same time we all know a fraction of the truth, which is all we should know anyway. Connie tried to save the day though.

June

That ad G filmed in May was realised and like damn! Connie fed us again. She honestly needs to release a book. AND THEN gillian posted the same photo tagging David. David left us hanging again… publicly anyway. Like he's got a book to promote so you think he’d be all over her posts. But on said book promotion he actually sort of threw her under the bus. Someone needs to send these two some gillovny videos to remind them how perfect they are and to get over their egos but then yet again, we know nothing about the truth and I’m just gonna shut up.

Gillian modelled for Chloe.

The First Lady finished and I never thought I would become so attached to that show. It definitely missed the mark and I think that was because it wasn’t really all that linear in it’s story. I think having the 3 story lines was a bit much. But otherwise, Eleanor and Hick spin off?? It’s been ages too since I watched a show that you can just binge watch all at once so it made my Sunday’s just that more enjoyable. She then did an interview with gold derby and damn her nails! Glad she also confirmed that she hasn’t worked since February because I was starting to get worried and that she will be filming sex ed in September. Gillian went to paramount plus uk launch and holy shit I forgot how to breath. It’s the tan and the bleached hair that ended me. Disappointed she ditched her black nails for her usual colour but when considering the rest of the fit was perfect, how can you complain. The trailer for white bird a wonder story finally came out. G loved it up in Glastonbury.

July

July started off slow. Gillian did an amazing podcast about mental health which I loved. We are half way through this year and it’s been slow. I mean like she has said that she hasn’t been working a lot which is obvious. She only filmed one thing this year with possible 3 things coming out all up. And at this point nothing new has been announced. Not even from her Netflix deal. I’m a little worried maybe. More worried about what she’s planning… any way it definitely doesn’t seem that she is going full on campaign mode like she did for the Emmy’s last year which is a shame. Sex education has finally started filming which is making me nervous because I swear to god if they ruin one of my favourite comfort characters arc even more i will scream. Emmy noms came out and wtf. I thought for sure she would get one. The First Lady got completely snubbed which I get because it wasn’t amazing but I thought it would get at least something in the major categories. And then The Great leads all got nominated but that was it. So disappointing. At least Gillian really loved those characters but it is a major snub considering her clean sweep last year. I think the team behind the first lady just really really missed the mark. They had three amazing lead actresses who at least one of them could have got nominated but it didn’t happen. And July ended slow.

August

Ah August. Got my clown costume ready to go! I’m glad the last few weeks have been quite because at this point in time I had a really bad work crush and was basically picking up as many overtime shifts as I could and was a very nice welcomed distraction. Anyway.

The First Lady got cancelled which I’m disappointed with but not surprised. I’m mean at least it doesn’t effect Gillian because she wouldn’t be in the next season. I think they got it all completely wrong. Everything about it was just messy.

Gillian entered her unhinged era on twitter. I mean, she practically always been there but clearly has stepped it up a bit. One thing she is in though is her unemployment era.

David’s birthday came…. And David’s birthday passed. We all know they definitely spoke privately but yeah. I would like to think they are on a nice holiday together or something. At least G probably is before she starts filming sex Ed next month. I mean they both were unusually quite for this time of the year. But we love a last minute goofy selfie and some cute thank you replies. Thanks to David for a poorly timed tweet about a recent book he read. I’m not buying it. Maybe public birthday messages will be once every 2 years from now on. At least we got some tbt tags this year on Gillian’s behalf.

The roller coaster that is sex education promotion started.

And then we saw the second confirmation for the year about what should not be named. Look, we don’t know the ins and outs of her private life and all that matters is that she’s happy but I just don’t see it. And listen, for everyone who’s like I don’t understand people complaining about it, from my perspective, when you care about someone, your critical of them including their choice in partner. I’ve heard that much rumours that I don’t know what to think anymore. But also, until she confirms it and the words ( or photo) come out of her mouth, im taking it with a grain salt… unfortunately maybe a large grain of salt. They could actually be ex’s that are friends. But at the end of the day if it makes her happy that’s all that matters.

August ended with ? Gillian in her swiftie era. But let’s be real, in 2016 she’s never heard of bad blood so….

September

Ah September, you’ve been so anticipated. G finally started filming sex education. And just a reminder she basically hasn’t worked since February and has nothing else booked and this year has been painful slow with stuff relating to Gillian, at least compared to last year. She clealry must be working on something big considering she is not good at taking breaks.

She now owns 4 chickens apparently too.

Ninapharm continued to release pictures from that photo shoot campaign that Gillian has weirdly chosen to ignore.

Gillian, once again for the how many time this year, returned from the dead to go to the Burberry show in London. Forgot we were still in that era. She was seated next to ANNA WINTOUR (also across from Kanye)…. So….. what's coming next. I don’t know, I find it all maybe slightly bizarre. Loving it, don’t get me wrong but just… interesting. I mean she has launched clothing before, maybe all this fashion stuff she is suddenly doing is research for something bigger?? She has been to fashion shows in the past but not as much as she is doing now.

October

… and Gillian enters the month still basically unemployed. I might be a bit nervous. White bird was suppose to come out this month, the pale blue eyes in December and sex education is probably half way through filming and then… nothing. I mean surely she’s working on something but still.

But as my life pretty much feel apart, it’s good to see Gillian’s is not as she changed her twitter pfp to sponge bob. Yep, you read that right. All I would like to say is who gave her her twitter password back this year?? I thought she would only have it like that briefly but it stayed for like a week. A whole week. And the like 2 times she tweeted during that week, no one was taking her seriously.

White bird a wonder story was supposed to come out this month but disappeared off the face of the earth. I never watch the first one but this movie seemed really good on paper. I know Gillian said they wanted to aim it for festivals but then the release date got pushed from September to October but when the trailer got released it got a really bad reception. I’m not totally sure why. Isn’t it a book? From what I understand people were shocked about some of its context but surely that’s the same as the book right? Anyway I was really looking forward to having more Gillian content because it’s been a hot minute but I guess the wait shall continue.

So she now does adds for Netflix too. That producer deal is really being put to good work. For someone who had such a successful previous year, I don’t understand this one. I guess we are getting employed through doing ads now. I might keep that in mind.

Photos and a trailer were released for pale blue eyes. Finally something!!

Stella dressed up as little bo peep for Halloween and Gillian continued to aid fuel to the fire that she has reclaimed back her twitter password… I mean… do you really think that’s it’s someone else tweeting things like that on a Saturday evening at midnight? Because wouldn’t something like that have to be approved because it’s written under her name. That’s why I think it’s actually her.

And, I just have to add this because it hit me right in the feels, Piper wore one of Gillian’s dresses for Halloween and omg

November

November started off with a Gillovny moment! Winning! So Gillian re posted a fans remake of an iconic Gillovny photo shot for a Halloween. I absolutely love how much she has posted gillovny throw backs this year. David’s left us hanging every time though. But I’m is anyone else noticing how much she is reposting fans stuff lately?????? And surprise surprise, David left us hanging yet again. But not to worry, Connie continued posting Gillovny throw backs.

Gillian went to the crown season 5 premiere which you don’t want to hear my opinion on. Hasn’t she been to enough of them?? Fair enough the last one didn’t happen ( side not… she was the only former cast member there) and she won all the awards but pleaseeeeeeee I don’t want to hear about it. But I mean… if it makes her happy and look I would be doing the same thing if my anxiety and overthinking didn’t always get in the way. …. Maybe he is the British version of Pete Davison?????

David also deleted his twitter. Mourning all the gillovny that gos with that. Gillian…. Don’t you dare. Really grieving all those twitter interactions.

You know what else really annoys me, how critical people are of what she wears and how she does her hair.

Twitter continues to live so Gillian continues to post penises but still RIP David. Either new social media girl is totally unhinged or Gillian has that password back.

Gillian left the house again and went to a screening of pale blue eyes.

December

And so we have reached the final month… and Gillian is still unemployed. So hoping she is working on something big. That Netflix deal looking like a flop right about now?? Almost a year out of the two signed for done.

So it turns out Gillian started a beverage company, G-spot in march… so that’s what she’s been doing?? And other production company… something bigs coming right?? But at the same time, she had it for how long and done nothing with it. The website was also created in July and barely touched. I just want to really know what someone who doesn’t understand the word relax has been doing for 12 months. But like at the same time, she started Fiddleheads something like 20 year ago and it only ever was reported once so I’m not that hopefully about all these. Just like how her novels were going to be turned in a series…

Gillian started doing press for The Pale Blue Eye… again, a role that is probably going to be less than 10 minutes is getting more press from her than the last season of Sex Education. And she annoucemed her unemployment era is ending in January and from the way shes talking, 2023 sounds booked and busy. At least we don’t have to wait long. I’m surprised she only said… “i have a thing I’m starting i Jaunary that hasn’t been aoounced”. Usually she would be all like I’m doing this thing with… about… but i can’t talk about it. And it actually sounded like she said she had two things coming up…. Dr Who maybe? And maybe she kows White Bird A Wonder Storys new realise date as well because she mentioned that was coming up soon.

And to finish it all, she wished everyone a Merry Clitmas Christmas which took me wayyy to long to pick up.

So, hey! We made it! This year for me has been on pair with last year.. actually probably worse. I’ve lost a damn lot this year and been through things that I didn’t see coming. But maybe that’s what happens when you stop being silent and putting up with crap?? Safe to say all I did this year was survive.

Any way, davidduchovny on twitter I miss you. Gillian… I love you… but what is going on.

Next year is one I’m definitely excited for. I’m spending 4 weeks in Vancouver which co insides with the x files 30th anniversary and then the following 2 in London. I’m nervous but excited. And I’m so hopping I get to meet Gillian. I’m apprehensive about booking too much of the trip because I am definitely the person who will drop anything to be where she is during the 6 weeks… just as long as it doesn’t fall on the day of the wedding I’m going too. I’m also planning on maybe resigning from my job when I get home from the trip which scares the shit out of me that I'm ready to walk away from my dream job😬 the 6 weeks is also going to be me seeing if maybe I could maybe take the plunge and move over to London… all I care about is that my cat can come too. But there is a part of me that wants to stay just to prove a point

So here’s to 2023; more Gillovny, a brand new chapter and finally hopefully positive vibes and progress.

Oh, and Gillian, no more penis posts please!

#Gillian Anderson #Youtube

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charmingpplincardigans · 3 years

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January Kitchen Sink Check In

This is mostly for me, because I’m trying to become a better person this year, for varying definitions of the term ‘better’, and I like to see my progress laid out all organized like. It helps me move forward. So I’m gonna go through my Body/Mind/Money goals for January and note how I did and what I’m going to do moving forward!

BODY

Working Out:

My two work out goals for the end of the year are to 1) be doing yoga semi-regularly and 2) be working out four days a week reliably, including the yoga. I’m working on easing myself into these (and all) habits, because I don’t want to overwhelm myself and give up on everything, so my goal for January was to work out one day a week. And I worked out *drumroooooooll* NONE! NOT A ONCE. I don’t have an excuse for this. Part of it was stress, part of it was depression, part of it was sheer laziness. I promise myself I’m gonna work out at least once a week in February, but also shoot for the two times a week that is the February Goal.

Food:

I have several overall food goals for the year. One is to give up soda near completely, or at least to break my addiction to it. The others are to start planning meals and eat less meat. For January I wanted to drink only two sodas a day (20oz max). I managed that 23 days out of 31. In looking at the calendar you can reliably match the days I failed to the days that were extremely stressful or anxiety ridden. I have a very bad habit in those moments of throwing up my hands and deciding that I’m a failure anyway so nothing matters. That’s definitely a mental tick to keep an eye on over the next few months as my job no doubt just gets more and more stressful. The other goals I did okay with. I decided to plan one meatless meal a week. New recipes I made in January were:

Black bean soup

Moroccan sweet potatoes

Spinach lasagna

Black bean & sweet potato enchiladas

Do recommend most of them. The lasagna had way too much cinnamon in it, which was kind of weird. If I make that recipe again I’m gonna quarter the amount. But I might just find a different veggie lasagna to make.

For February I want to drop the soda to one a day (12oz max), and start to plan to make two meals a week. I’m doing okay with meat, but I could for sure do better. It helps that I have started making THE WORLD’S BEST SANDWICHES for lunch. Probably just gonna eat those forever instead of ordering out Huey Magoo’s or whatever. (The sandwich is hummus, cucumber, and feta on toasted Good Seed bread. Try it!)

Doctor Things:

Uff. I need to figure out the CPAP issues and the chest pain issues. I absolutely despised the first mask they sent me for the CPAP. It gave me panic episodes and I was ripping it off IN MY SLEEP. Insurance refused me a new mask until April, but my doctor came in like an angel with a sample version of a different type of mask to try. This one is...better. I’m still not comfortable in it and it’s not appreciably helping my sleep. People keep telling me it’s going to change my life, but that has not happened yet. On the other hand I have friends who’ve tried to make them work for YEARS and never did, so I’m wary of this whole process, but still trying.

I had a sort of fraught meeting with my cardiologist last week. My chest pain symptoms had been getting better as of October, but with the change in my job I’ve back slid almost entirely. I had a 36 hour period of chest pain two weeks ago. I go whole nights having every heart attack symptom in slow motion, but doing nothing about it because I can’t afford for the ER to tell me I’m fine five times a month. I cried when she asked me why I didn’t go to a hospital when that happened. I feel so helpless all of the time and I’m certain I’m going to die any day now, even though my heart is technically physically fine. Can you anxiety yourself into a heart attack? I THINK YOU CAN. She did tell me to try to speak to the psychiatrist again about anxiety medication. The last time I tried the woman I saw didn’t want to prescribe me anything. She told me to work on my sleep and come back. Welp! The cardiologist said that if that happens this time she’ll write a note telling her to prescribe me something. We’ll see. I need to try to make that appt this month.

MIND

Therapy:

My therapist thinks I’ve done really well over the last year with working on myself and said out loud that she thinks I’m better at dealing with some things and am in a good position to move forward. But I’m so stressed right now that I just feel like I’ve fallen apart again. We’re meant to start on EMDR this week, but I’m going to have to put a pause on it so I can talk about how I’m at like, the lowest point of my life, which she will be very supportive of and then probably remind me that if we could just get to the EMDR and work with the older traumas this might not feel so dire. I’m just, on the struggle bus and too tired to do anything but freak out about that.

Writing:

I have so may creative goals this year! Too many probably! I should put some back! My creative goals for the year are:

Complete a rough draft of AMLD (10,000 words a month)

Complete and mail out the Girls Who Date the Universe chapbook

Complete and mail out any remaining art for people who helped me with the car fund

Work on poetry and short fictions (Monster Story?)

Actually check in to @gywo every month (10 days a month goal)

My creative goals for January were to write 10,000 words on AMLD, work on the extra poems for GWDTU, and send the remaining postcards from the car fund. And uh...look. I did work on writing. I worked on the chapbook layout and editing pieces that needed to be edited/replaced, because there are several. I did also work on the outline for AMLD, but didn’t write new words on it. Not anywhere 10,000 of them at any rate.

The owing people art thing is just...it fucks me up, man. I have learned a huge lesson between the car fund and the patreon. I get so in my head about how these people deserve beautiful things and then I tell myself I’m not capable of making things worthy of them and then I put off doing the thing because I want to put off letting them down and then it just spirals from there. ALL THE WHILE I AM FOR SURE LETTING THEM DOWN. I realize this is both unhealthy and unprofessional. It’s why one of my goals this year is to clear all of this once and for all so that I can square myself away with everyone and try not to end up here in the future.

So, the January Goals now get rolled up into the February Goals, which leaves the new list for the month at:

10,000 words AMLD

Complete extra poems for GWDTU

Send postcards from car fund

Complete layout for Boston chapbook for car fund

I did check in for GYWO.

Future Plans:

Part of letting off the pressure for the now for me is always about planning for the future. Not like, the actual future, I’m not starting a 401k, let’s not go nuts. But for something that is one step forward. In my notes for my year goals this is all about moving back to Boston. I need to set a date for it. I need to save money for it. I need to keep my job until after I’ve done it. But now I think this part needs to include notes about my job itself and the ways I can either move forward with it or move away from it once and for all.

I talked to Lisa and Kait at the beginning of the year about the moving plan, and now I just need to talk to my apartment complex to see if it would be feasible to extend the lease to December or February without paying an exorbitant amount in rent each month. If rent ends up being more than $2k/mo for the extension then I’m just going to have to have to wait until June 2022. This frustrates me, because I hate not being able to just follow through with decisions once I’ve made them, but patience is another thing I’m working on eternally. My goal for February is figure out money stuff well enough and talk to complex and set a timeline.

Work is. Wow. It’s awful right now. I still have my job, which takes up much of my days, but because of re-org I’m also having to learn a whole new job which would also take up much of my day. I can’t not learn this job, because the person who used to do it is in another department now too, so there’s no one to get the work done if I don’t learn to do it. But I also can’t do both. I CAN’T DO BOTH. An issue popped up last week with my job that literally brought my ulcer back. I asked my boss for help with it and she sent me a message at one point saying she wanted to cry about it. So like. She knows now, right? She knows I can’t do both jobs?? BUT THERE’S NO ONE ELSE TO DO IT SO I GUESS I JUST GET TO SLOWLY KILL MYSELF. I’m just so frustrated, and angry that these decisions get made without taking the people in them into account, and of course anxious and miserable. I’m currently dreading work in a way I haven’t since I was in text perms. It’s real bad. So I have to find a way to make it work or find a way out.

My February approach to that is to finish this Love It or Leave It book and see if I can’t divine where my true motivation lies, and also to research library school. I kind of would rather not go back to school. Not because I wouldn’t spend my entirely life in school if I could. I WOULD. But because it’s expensive and time intensive and there’s no promise my life will be better after it’s over. But every job I think I want pretty much requires that masters, so. We’ll look into it at least.

MONEY

Eating Out:

During the pandemic, one of my money sinks became DoorDash. I never used it before, because it costs literally twice as much as just going to get the food. (Also because I kind of like eating in restaurants alone. Ah, one day again I hope!) But the more afraid I became of the outside world, the less inclined I was to go into a restaurant to pick up take out, so I’ve had it brought to me. And I need to cut that shit out! I have food at home! My goal for January was to order out only 4 times a week. I managed this for three of the weeks, but when I blew it it was definitely those weeks at the very beginning and very end of the month where I was super stressed. The goal in February is to only order out 3 times a month.

Savings:

I need to open a high yield savings account. I’ve had the starting money for the move just sitting in my bank account making me no extra money for like, four months. The latest reason I haven’t moved it over is that I’m worried I’m going to owe a lot in taxes this year because of the partial unemployment I got. Hopes are that since it was a work share the taxes were taken out ahead of time, but I do not trust the government with my money as far as I can throw them, so. I’ll do my taxes this month and finally know for sure. And then I WILL move the rest of the money into a high yield savings account. I WILL.

Also, every time my credit union savings hits a grand, I’ll move $500 of that over into the high yield account to put toward moving expenses.

Budget:

I keep meaning to sit down and work out my new budget for 2021. I’m bringing home a little bit less in my paycheck because I changed my health insurance, and I’m also, of course, trying to save as much as I can ahead of moving so I don’t put anything on credit cards. (I’m doing so well paying those down!) This means I need to save everything I can and not spend money on stupid frivolous stuff. I’m not buying clothing like I did in the before times, but I AM spending too much money at Target still, because the app lets me just peruse any dumb idea I have and then pick it up that day! What a disaster! So, I really need to work something out. Or at least, I need to check my bank accounts more often and keep tabs on how much is actually going out. I have a bad out-of-sight-out-of-mind habit when it comes to bank accounts. Just another piece of me to try to cure this year.

And that’s it for January. I’m now late to bed because I’ve been working on this post for an hour and a half. Working on my sleep is also a goal, but we’ll see how exercise and the cpap handle that. Til next month!

#kitchen sink check in #to do #progress

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