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#i think it's all bc he's afraid of losin me but....i rly thought we were past this stuff. i rly thought i could trust him now.
kindacreepy-kindaugly
ยท
28 days
Text
haven't been sad like this in a long time
#doll
#did i get lovebombed again
#it's been ages since he last even tried that w/ me...
#but. the more i think abt it the more it makes sense.
#the others were suspicious from the start but we couldn't figure out what the ulterior motive could possibly be
#cause it was so out of character for him. suddenly wantin to make us more official when he'll usually avoid any trace of actual commitment
#i guess he knows i dream about a more....traditional relationship. exclusive for both instead of just one way.
#white picket fence etc
#so it was easy to spin it into that when rly he just wanted to stake his claim in a more visible way
#(not a proposal just a promise ring type of thing on a necklace so i thought it was him tryin to compromise)
#so now i just feel stupid cause i bought into all the stuff he said. bout the way he wants this to be forever.
#when it rly was just another way to mark me.
#i'd be fine w/ it if he just said that's what he wants! he knows i don't mind wearin his name or w/e even though i don't rly get it
#but tryin to mask it as smth else that he knows i want but would never ask for cause he doesn't do that stuff
#it's not ok
#everything he does we deal w/ as it comes but. not the fucking mind games again. he can't/doesn't wanna force me to do things (anymore)
#so now he's tryin to trick me into em instead?
#i don't feel like i can trust anything he's said now
#n if i try to have an actual adult conversation about it he's just gonna talk circles around me til i'm dizzy again
#i was rly startin to trust him. i don't understand. what happened?
#did i do something? have i been so flaky he feels he needs to do this stuff to keep me in check?
#he just told me that he's happy if i even just drop by for a little while but. i'm not sure i believe that now either.
#i mean i shoulda realized cause it'd only affect me anyway. i don't think he even mentioned wearing one himself.
#i've been so happy ring shopping for days n now i just feel sick. messing w/ consent is a whole Thing for him so
#chances are he wanted to keep me content w/ an empty show of commitment while he gets off on what it really means
#i shoulda known it was too sudden n came out too easy for him. he never talks about feelings stuff so easily it's always a struggle
#i think it's all bc he's afraid of losin me but....i rly thought we were past this stuff. i rly thought i could trust him now.
#i'm just rly rly upset n sad n disappointed
#spdrvent
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