#i think if sarah wrote a flashback scene about her i would fall apart | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mittensmorgul · 5 years

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Hiya: If there's been conversation about Nick/Lucifer I've missed it, sorry. I can't figure out where they're going with him - there's a reason he's still around, surely, but so far his story seems to be rudderless. Sarah's little monologue suggests that Nick's Lucifer experience is significant going forward. What are your thoughts?

Hello! And sorry it took so long for me to reply to this, but I wanted to approach it from several directions and cover this as completely as possible, so I’m now fortified with cookies and caffeine, and will hopefully do as thorough a job as possible while also demonstrating that I am prepared to fend off any and all wank with this here big stick *waves large stick in the air*. :P

I don’t normally like to use the production side of things to justify the narrative, but in this particular case, I think it’s CRUCIAL to keep in mind when considering anything having to do with Nick. Here’s a few “production specific” bullet points to bear in mind:

Eugenie really enjoys writing this specific character, for whatever twisted reason.

therefore I personally like to imagine the rest of the production staff roll their eyes and let her have him to play with over in a corner, which interestingly enough keeps her from mucking about with the characters we all actually care about

J2 specifically asked to have more time off. That’s why we have a 20 episode season this year (and I think we would’ve had an even shorter season if wayward had been picked up, but their compromise to sign on for even 20 episodes was explicitly to get more time off to spend with their families). Have you wondered also why there’s been a lot more scenes that ONLY had Sam or Dean in them? Why they’ve been separated for a lot of the season? Because one of them has been having nice days off with their family while the other has been filming. In order to have episodes where they’re together, the compromise is that some of the focus go to other characters so they can both have time off still... and sadly, Nick fits the bill for “available for scenes alone.”

Enter cries of “BUT WHAT ABOUT CAS! WHAT ABOUT MARY OR THE WAYWARDS?! WHY NICK?!”

*points everyone back to that first bullet point*

So now that some of that real-world nonsense is out of the way, I really do think that they’ve been actively making the most of this objectively terrible character that most of us have utterly failed to connect to in any way, because he is just so damn terrible.

I personally LOVED Davy’s treatment of him last week, and how Nick’s own story had been paralleled to Sam’s since the beginning of the season. Not for Nick’s sake, but FOR SAM’S.

I wrote some about that here:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182308756300/love-that-your-nick-tag-says-possibly-murderous

But this week’s episode goes several steps beyond that. Since 5.01, Nick’s entire deal with Lucifer had been predicated on his desire to be reunited with his murdered family. He’d been dismally living in the house where they’d been murdered, with his child’s crib still sitting there, drinking himself to sleep at night, unable to move on past their deaths. It was implied in s14 that he’d even been a suspect in their murders, but he was cleared after having the alibi that he’d been out drinking while they were killed.

And yet, when he thinks back to why he said Yes to Lucifer, he doesn’t remember the promise to be reunited with his wife and son, he remembers Lucifer telling him he was special and chosen. Which I think is really telling:

NICK: I just don’t know what kind of pain would make me allow Lucifer to possess me.CAS: It was your family.NICK: My family? Sarah and Teddy?[CAS nods.]NICK, gasping: No. [NICK flashes back to Sympathy for the Devil (5.01). We see these scenes along with current NICK as he remembers]SARAH/LUCIFER, in flashback: It’s you, Nick. You’re special. You’re chosen. Nick, I need you to say “yes”.NICK, in flashback: Then yes.NICK, now: Oh my god. Who could do that? Who could do that?

Because even his reason for saying yes was this sort of personal aggrandizement of being “special” and “chosen,” even if he’d always framed it as being this revenge quest on behalf of his murdered family. That’s what Sam had been sympathizing with, at any rate-- the fact that they’d both been manipulated into saying yes, and both had these familial/loved ones murdered to force them into participating in this awful cosmic game. But personal grandiosity had NEVER been one of Sam’s motivations for saying yes. He’d felt personally BETRAYED when Lucifer revealed the extent to which his entire life had been nudged into place by demons, you know? He HATED the fact he’d been “chosen” and felt it was more of a curse than something special.

But not Nick. He may have said he wanted justice for his wife and son, but the truth kept coming out of him throughout s14:

He beat his neighbor to death in the exact manner his family was killed, because the neighbor told police he’d seen someone at Nick’s house, and then recanted his statement.

because what he’d seen was a POLICE OFFICER entering and then leaving the house, and he was not prepared to testify against a cop

Nick kills Arty’s priest for refusing to divulge what Arte confessed to him about the man he saw, but learns about the cop from a reporter he interviewed later

Nick then tracks down the retired officer, who tells him he was possessed by the demon Abraxis and had no memory of the murders. The man had been used just as badly as Nick himself, and yet Nick killed him ANYWAY even though he’d been tormented about his part in all of this for more than a decade.

After killing the cop, Nick confesses that he said he just wanted revenge, but that it was a lie, and he liked being evil this way

He pleads with Lucifer to come back to him

He then goes on a rampage to find Abraxas, to ask him (ostensibly) who ordered him to kill his wife. He kills his way through other demons until he discovers where Abraxas is, in a puzzle box trapped by Mary Winchester.

And this is where everything falls apart for him

Once he learns that Lucifer ordered his family killed-- not because he was special, but because he was convenient-- he had one final chance to repent for what he’d done in the name of vengeance. And he failed to take it.

Instead of accepting that all of this was a horrific abuse, and that this was the most justice he or his loved ones could possibly get, and trying to make peace with himself and try to do the best he can with what he now has (including the support of the Winchesters, who are arguably the people on the planet most inclined to sympathize with what Nick has been through), he rejects ALL of that.

He prays to Lucifer, begging for answers that he technically already has. But he just cannot let go of it. It ceased being about justice for his wife and son a long, long time ago. It’s only about him, now.

He’s mad at Lucifer for hurting HIM. He’s mad at the fact his wife and son were murdered, not because it wasn’t fair to THEM, but because they were taken away from HIM. Which is all proven out in how he treats the ghost of his wife in 14.12.

He returns to his home, where he has to break in. He doesn’t have a key anymore, and still, the house is sitting empty and abandoned, where nobody else has wanted to live since. Compare that to the Winchester family house in 1.09. Despite the tragedy there, it’s still inhabited. Life goes on there, and after 1.09, when the ghosts of its past are finally laid to rest, it has a chance for a happy family to live and thrive there again. Nick’s place is just stagnant with the ghost of his dead wife trapped there, wearing a nightgown so similar to Mary Winchester’s.

I thought it was strange that this incarnation of Sarah’s actual ghost had long hair, while the vision of Sarah that Lucifer used in 5.01 to woo Nick in the first place had short hair, and I think it was intentional... making her look like the sad, dark version of Mary Winchester. This was Sarah’s big moment, her chance to finally be released from the misery of being trapped in that house as a ghost... and she failed, because Nick failed HER on every level.

Sarah: My unfinished business isn't just about how I died, Nick. It's you. I was here that night. I saw what he did to you. I... You chose Lucifer. You wanted him. You... You still do.Nick: He chose me, okay.Sarah: You didn't come here to find peace. You came here to find him in the place you became one with him.Nick: No.Sarah: Then show me I'm wrong. Reject Lucifer right now. If you do, I can leave. I can find peace. Reject him, Nick. Please. Please!Nick: I-I can't. I'm sorry.Sarah: You can't. Because you are him. You doomed me to stay in this place forever. You've doomed yourself.

Nick is flim-flam-- on a meta level, on a personal level, on every level. He’d never been seeking her, which is why he bought into Lucifer’s deal. He wanted to be special, and up to the point Lucifer came to him, he’d only felt worthless. That’s what made him useful to Lucifer. He could buy into his own lie that it was about seeing his wife again. He would go along quietly.

This was his one last chance at an easy redemption, and he refused to do it. When faced with the ONE THING he always said he wanted, he turned away, because he’d never wanted it in the first place.

Granted, all of this serves as The Darkest Possible Mirror to the Winchester family, but I think it’s still useful to keep this in mind with what the 300th will be giving us next week. Sam and Dean have been struggling with what happened to their family, and how it resulted in their entire lives lived as a revenge quest and how the entire universe has demanded their involvement in cosmic affairs ever since. And now, they’re also looking for a bit of catharsis. And we have a dark mirror set up to shine an interesting light on that now...

Granted, it makes it really difficult to engage with Nick’s storyline, considering how little interest any of us have in him as a character, compounded by the fact that the character himself is entirely devoid of anything resembling something we can have sympathy for. And honestly, we never cared about him in the first place, and it just feels like beating a dead horse to keep dragging Mark P.’s face up on screen year after year just to demonstrate how irredeemable he is, but *heavy sigh* they do seem to be making the most of these facts despite that.

Honestly, they can do better. Pick a different character for us to spend a bit more time with. I’d love to see more Cas, and more Cas interacting with Sam and Dean individually, or more Mary, or more Jody and Donna and the girls, but this is what we have. So I’ll continue to wish they’d just put him out of our misery and off him once and for all, but sadly I think we’re stuck with him for at least the rest of the season...

There’s several ways I can personally think of that he could become more useful down the line, like the crack spec I wrote last week:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182454196470/solution-1-put-mike-into-nick-2-put-nick-in-the

but maybe a lil less... cracky... if they do something along those lines in canon...

Just how desperate is Nick to feel special again? To feel chosen? Would he take his second choice (Michael over Lucifer), and Dean’s sloppy seconds? How would that even work? What would they do? It may or may not be something in the future, but it’s one theory that’s giving me hope that he has some actual purpose to the narrative, since he’s proven himself absolutely irredeemable at this point. The only way he’s gonna earn redemption at this point is via self-sacrifice. Not even Lucifer could pull that one off... I don’t really have high hopes for Nick...

#spn 14.12 #spn 5.01 #nick the possibly murderous vessel of lucifer #spn 14.02 #spn 14.11 #livinginthequestion

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