i aam deep in dhurkedatz specifically thoughts today. Oh the them. oh the unspoken of it all. the unlabeled. we got a good thing going. of course this is my ... he's my. You know. well hes my right hand man of course. im the fangs o' the defiant dragon. but that doesnt explain it fully.. thats business. and their lives are almost entirely business but Not Quite. and beyond the revolution they escape description...thats his best friend. that's his datz..

dhurke loves amara like crazy his love for her never died at all ... datz isn't a replacement ... hes just his datz. you know? 20 years of partnership cant go away like that. theyre together. partners!! and rumors fly and theres jokes. call off your boyfriend! so whens the marriage? and theres shared looks and pitying looks and understanding looks and skeptical looks but no one Speaks on it.. its unspoken!! but its there. by god.

like i wouldnt dream of doing anything without you. or that dhurke knows when he gets reunited with his family once more, for real this time, datz is gonna be there. and amara isn't being replaced so shes not concerned at all lol shes like ... what ... and take away his datz? what kind of monster do you take me for :( Like she knows. and everyone KNOWS. thats just his datz. and thats his dhurke. and you cant seperate them its unethical its cruel and unusual punishment its not nice

All the small tiny things... the years of history in each others actions ... the energy and focus shifting between them without needing to ask. in a discussion fixing to break out into a fight datz defuses it. datz tense and uncomfortable outta his mind and dhurke spots the way he tugs at his scarf and makes an excuse for datz to leave early. he asks to be waken up in a few hours so they can trade ofd guard duty and datz says yeah but they both know he'll stay up the whole night just to let dhurke sleep longer (this i stole from such terrible tales bc that detail made me sick) Like Ugh Like i cant Like i just dont know

and its not that they dont want to label it but its just so...what would change really. dhurke knows datz loves him and datz knows dhurke loves him (though maybe some nights he really does need reassurance, and he gets in his head about it, and somehow- through ways datz doesn't have a clue how- dhurke can tell when datz is quiet from upset as opposed to another reason, and he'll take datz's hand and kiss his knuckles and Thank Him so deeply and earnestly that it burns out any negative thought datz has ever had in his life ... crazy.)

and hes the family friend and the sort of uncle and the right hand man and compatriot and everyone knows just by the way they lean against each other and speak in half finished sentences and answer questions that weren't fully asked ... reference jokes from years ago and diffuse each other and the way datz is obviously gloomy when dhurke is gone vs perks up when he comes back And the way dhurke is on edge and his leaderly dad warmth is slightly colder while datz is in prison like even when theyre not together you can tell the impact left on each others lives LIKE IM SICK FOR REAL