can you draw horses

Uhhh kinda

but lemme ask for help hold on

(that’s James Baxter)

and then and then

So basically next on the journey I left Santa Fe in the afternoon on Wednesday and drove to Albuquerque to meet a friend for coffee a little after three. I haven't seen them in about a year. It is kind of crazy to think that I was in the area just a year ago. It feels like utter lifetimes. It is interesting how I am feeling more familiar than I thought I would being on the road. A lot of these cities I have passed through before and I am suddenly remembering being on this street or eating there before. Memory is a funny thing. I spend no time trying to remember those details but they are flooded in my mind when the familiar is presented. So I get to Satellite Coffee downtown ABQ around 3:30 and spend about an hour chatting with Stephanie. It was so lovely to see her and talk about life with her. She always reminds me about how I am young and how my 20′s are a time for exploration. How some of us have that travel itch and not to feel down about that sort of life. It is always refreshing to see her and spend time with her. She always helps ground me in my journey I think. Very thankful for our connection. 

So after that chat I head to the next strangers house. This time I’d be going to Kristopher’s place. All I knew about him is he is 31 and he runs a podcast. Since I had a last minute show booked by Austin Morrell at Gold House in ABQ I told Kristopher I didn’t know if I’d end up spending the night at his place. We still hung out for a bit before my gig. We went to some Thai place and I ate some veggie potstickers. The place smelled like lacker and the ceilings were high. The walls were red. I didn’t get the sense that Kristopher was happy, he seemed pretty sleepy and down. It was kind of a bummer but I also understand the dynamics of a life. This is where I had walked in on his peephole of a life. He mentioned recently going through a break up. That probably had a lot to do with it. But we went back to his place and I played some music for him. He perked up a bit and was pretty impressed by my seemingly secret talent. His friend Stephany came over after awhile and her and I both talked about the nomadic lifestyle. About that itch for exploration and life experience. It was nice to be meeting and talking to people who had a more similar view on life. It was helpful for me to hear these reaffirmations because many doubts like to float into my mind. Then before long I had to head to my gig. I drove only about 10 minutes and was at the house venue Gold House. I was so stoked for this show.

I walk into the house and Austin and James were setting up. I met the dog and James cat name Kat Stevens. Me and Kat Stevens fucking bonded. He was a big orange tabby but he was sooooo sweet and cute. I finally had a face to put to the name Austin too which was great. Him and I had been corresponding via email about shows in the area for awhile. We finally got to meet in the flesh. I was slightly allured by him but also not overly hopeful about anything either. As I am sitting here I am really realizing it is so much about the people. Slowly the place filled up. Austin played his lovely ambient set. Then before I knew it, it was my turn to take the stage. I was ready and excited. People were there and they were there to listen. It was the bestest. There was a plushy dragon basket going around being filled up with donations to help support my tour. Austin made this whole thing possible for me which was fucking awesome. I was so grateful for that. Then his friend who was so fierce and fabulous went on after me. It was so dope. The whole show rocked my socks off. Everyone was super nice too. After the show was over, we all mingled and I ended up eating spicy toast and strawberries at Austin’s house at about 1:30 am. He let me stay in a guest room which was nice.

The next day he made some yummy eggs and cut up some fresh mango for me. He showed me his club house and the garden too. Then we went to Prismatic for some coffee and then I met him at Sister Bar to see where he works. I met a few of the guys that work there and ironically I met his dad there too. He, his dad, and I shared some food and talked about my travels and some of their upcoming travels. It was quaint but I was on my way to Flagstaff after awhile. I left them there at the table and headed to my car. I had about a 5 hour drive to Flagstaff AZ to make a gig I barely knew anything about. 

So after being in the car for 5/6 hours, stopping at approximently three sketchy ass gas stations, and one more cup of coffee, I made it to Flagstaff. When I walked into the venue no one knew I was even suppose to be playing there tonight. I could tell it was gonna be shit. They treated me like a nobody and basically said get up there for 30 minutes and another band is booked there must have been a mistake. I knew I wasn't getting paid and I basically just wanted to play my songs and leave. So I talked to the band and told them who I was and asked them how long they would let me play. They were pretty nice about the whole thing at least. I asked the bar to shut off the music but they never did. I had to compete with not only the loud crowd but the loud music too. It was a fucking joke. Its nights like this that I question what the hell I am doing with my life. But I played my songs and then got the fuck out of there. Toward the end of my set an older man walked in and sat down with a notepad and listened closely. Before I left I went up to him to thank him for actually listening. He said his name was Uncle Don and that he was a poet. He slightly creeped me out but some of the best people do. He told me about how his wife died last year and that she was a musician. I think I reminded him of her (if she was even real). I had to leave him be though because I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. 

So I left the venue and checked my phone. The person I was suppose to crash with hadn't gotten back to me at all so I was a little nervous about that. My friend Zack happened to text me around that time and I started bitching about my night to him. He ended up calling me and I got to hear Zack, Sam, John, and Moovy’s voices. It helped calm me down. Zack and I bitched about our romantic (or lack there of) drama. He talked about how his girls be ghosting him and I talked about how I was too scared to make out with the people I actually want to make out with. After awhile he let me go. I drove to taco bell and realized my fate would be in a Target parking lot. I was dead tired and about to have to sleep in my car for the night. I got all my pillows and blankets into the most comfortable position I could muster, which ultimately sucked, but I dozed off. I remember questioning my entire life before falling asleep and feeling like a low life and then being too tired to care. 

Then a big loud DING happened, it awoke me. I came back to my senses to realize I forgot to put my phone on silent . . . thankfully. Because Kendra messaged me being like I’m so sorry I didn't message you, my gig just got out. She also said I was good to crash if I still needed. I said yes and then drove to her house in half a daze, thankful about life working out after all. It was crazy to roll up at her place around midnight after only meeting her briefly in a coffee shop about one year ago. I asked her about her gig and how her bands were doing. We ended up talking for awhile and catching up which was pretty cool. She didn’t own many possessions and it was refreshing to see. They had just what they needed. She had a huge air mattress waiting for me and pulled it into this little side room for me. I hugged her goodnight and thanked her again for opening her space to me for the night. Then off to sleep I went. I slept pretty well actually and woke up around 10 or so. I laid in bed for awhile and could hear her boyfriend bustling around in the kitchen. I hadn't met him before and I wondered if he knew I was here. I finally mustered up the social stamina to go out and say hello. 

Low and behold I had seen him the night before at the gig and didn't even know who he was the night before. I remember thinking he was super cute. Then I was like oh shit there he is in this kitchen! He recognized me and was like hey were you that girl playing at Hops on Birch last night? I said yes and then told him I remember seeing him there. It was kind of a cool moment. How small the world can be some time. He made me a cup of coffee and explained how he had to head out to his sisters graduation. He was so sweet, he had been waiting for me to wake up so he could go into the closest in the room I was sleeping to get a clean shirt. I felt kind of bad because I had been laying in there awake for like 30 minutes just preparing to be social. He didn’t mind though because he wanted to delay getting to the graduation any way. I sipped on coffee and briefly chatted with him before he left. What a nice guy. Seriously. And very attractive. What a catch. I thought about how single I was and have been. I wondered who my next boyfriend would end up being. I made myself a peanut butter bagel and ate a clementine for breakfast, hopped in the shower quick and headed downtown before I left for Phoenix. Again, I reflected about how wonderful people are. How kind and open to sharing they are. I was amazed and grateful for the kindness in peoples hearts. How they are so quick to help me, feed me, give me a place to stay. Life is beautiful thanks to the beautiful people that inhabit it.