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radramblog · 3 years

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Nintendo Direct E3 Takes

Well we’re pretty much done with E3 at this point, and it looks like once again Nintendo is carrying the whole damn thing on their back.

This is obviously a bit biased, because I’m not really into the AAA gaming industry otherwise, and the only other potential announcement I cared about didn’t happen. You had one fucking job, Capcom. One job.

Anyway as I did last time this came around I’m giving some hot takes like every single other person on this godforsaken internet because innovation is dead and react culture is king. Shall we?

Smash DLC Fighter…10 or something idk

I mean, look. I was hoping for an indie representative. Kazuya isn’t really that. But on the other hand, Tekken rep is something I can still get behind. They’ve already got Street Fighter and Fatal Fury in there, might as well get Tekken. What’s next, Raiden from Mortal Kombat? Hell, might as well get some Rivals of Aether character in there, might as well, don’t even have to change much.

From what little we’ve seen of Kazuya’s kit, it looks like his gimmick is going to be…complicated input combos for special attacks. Hm. Well, it’ll probably be fine. People managed with Ryu, they’ll manage with Kazuya. I do appreciate that they gave this guy his demon form- I guess they had to make him jump somehow, huh?

Life is Strange

I haven’t played the original Life is Strange, but I did watch a playthrough so I know how it goes. Don’t really know much about Before the Storm or 2, but I don’t think 2 is part of this collection anyway? Look I’m probably not going to buy this, but it’s probably good that it exists. The original was like, actual good rep, I think, so they’re probably not going to fuck this one up. New character is neat looking, good for them.

A Bunch of games, I guess

Guardians of the Galaxy? Damn dude, did I ask?

Worms Rumble said it had 32-person multiplayer, which I was like well hang on how’s that going to work with turn-based Worms combat you’d be waiting for ever. Except it isn’t turn-based. And it looks like ass as a result. F.

Astria Ascending…I’m reading this name and I already forgot what this was. Sorry if you cared about it I suppose.

I know nothing of the Two Point…series, I guess? I keep on seeing Hospital pop up on either Steam or the eShop, and I’ve scrolled past it without thinking twice every single time. Not about to change that.

Super Monkey Ball

I understand this series was a lot of fun for a lot of people, but it just looks miserable to me. With that said, I have seen some speedruns of these games that look incredible, so on that axis I’m happy this is getting made. Makes doing a marathon-length run of this a fair bit easier.

Mario Party

Look I haven’t even gotten around to playing my (very fake) Mario Party 3 cart, you think I’m going to buy another 80 dollar game on top of that? Nah.

Metroid

Yoooooooooooooo lets fucking gooooooooooooo

Okay so I’ve actually never beaten a Metroid game. Got some ways into Fusion and Super but didn’t complete either of them. But this looks super cool and good and I’m here for it. They mentioned that this was the first new 2D Metroid game in 19 years, which I guess means Fusion was the latest one.

…wait how many Metroid games are there even? Like, the original, Super, Fusion, the three Primes, and that one we don’t talk about…is that it? That feels a lot smaller than I thought it was, but I guess it adds up.

Just don’t cock it up, I guess. Metroid and Castlevania’s absence have left indie devs to fight for the Metroidvania name, and it’s about time the big boys got to come back around again.

More bullshit

Just Dance 2022. Is this one also coming out on the Wii?

Some racing game that looks cheap as fuck, neato. Man I feel bad for the devs working on these absolute shovelware games, like I bet they’re either working hard or being worked to the bone. But this is what the result is. R.I.P.

It’s about 13 years too late for me to be caring about Dragon Ball. Especially since this is just a port. Next.

Mario Golf

I mean we saw this earlier this year. I don’t even know what was actually new in this presentation.

Bowsers outfit is fucking clean though. Once again proving himself the best Mario character.

Monster Hunter

Fuck off Capcom. Y’all are leaving Mega Man in the fucking dust and he doesn’t deserve it.

I mean I guess ill get into it here, I mostly just wanted something, anything for the Mega Man Battle Network series. It’s their 20th anniversary, and we haven’t gotten shit so far. Literally just a MMBN collection for the switch, that’s all I want. They were even on the Wii U VC, you can just port those again, I don’t care fucking give it to me.

Anyway. Monhun? Ehhh they already showed this at their lacklustre presentation who cares.

Warioware

Look I haven’t played this series before, it’s probably fun, but I’m not sure how they stretch microgame content out into a fully-priced game.

Also, the multiplayer looks kinda miserable? Like, in case Mario Party was a little too efficient for ruining friendships, now you can yell at one person specifically for fucking the both of you up, and vice versa. Wheeeeee.

SMT5

Shoutouts to Squiggy, they’re super hype for this and I’m happy to see it. I personally again haven’t played this series, let alone Persona (though 4 is sitting untouched in my steam library, oops), but it looks pretty aight. I’m sure there’ll be a huge pile of demons to fuck up, or friend up, and some level of story that people will like (I have literally no idea what the plot of the series is), so. Atlus (?) has been at this for a long fucking time, they aren’t goofing this up.

Danganronpa

Shirtless Rantaro Shirtless Rantaro (shamelessly stolen from u/ AnaLissaMelculo on r/danganronpa)

I’m interested to see Talent Development Plan develop into it’s own fully fleshed out game. It was surprisingly good for a tacked-on minigame, and I hope that they’ll fully take advantage of its potential.

It also looks like the 4 games are releasing separately on Switch, but there is a physical collectors edition with all of them, and I mean, I can probably afford that, riiiiight?

R.I.P. Ultra Despair Girls fans, snubbed yet again. Ehhhh fuck it aside from the dialogue that game sucks ass so its fine.

More stuff

Fatal Frame looks spooky, I guess. I dunno, I was talking to mates through half of this one so I basically missed it.

DOOM Eternal DLC, cool. I still haven’t finished the original.

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater should be on the Switch, and now it is. Or, it will be, in a couple weeks. Good.

There’s something on this list of notes called Strange Brigade, and I have literally no idea what that is. Oops again.

Mario+Rabbids 2, now with a Rabbid Goth GF. I’m terrified to go on any fuckin NSFW platforms for the next couple weeks, because I’m sure everyone is drawing incredibly cursed hentai of that thing. Ubisoft sucks ass, fuck Ubisoft, don’t buy this.

Advance Wars

This sure isn’t Fire Emblem. Actually when I was explaining to my mates why this was cool, I called it Fire Emblem but with tanks instead of waifus, except I forgot this game still has waifus. I know strategy nerds love this series, so for their sake I’m happy to see it remade. This just looks unbelievably cute.

Zelda

Oh look, Hyrule Warriors 2 DLC, Zelda gets the motorbike now, cool who fucking cares we got more BOTW sequel footage

It does kinda bug me that people keep calling this BOTW 2, because there’s no way that’s what it’s going to be called. Zelda has never done numbered sequels. I mean, they’ve also very rarely done sequels at all, but there are a few- Phantom Hourglass is a sequel to Wind Waker iirc.

It is kinda funny that right after I was saying boo who cares to Skyward Sword remake (still mad this is one game and not a collection) that the new game clearly has SS-ass floating islands and such.

I was hoping we’d get to see Zelda do things this game. Apparently not, she’s stuck in a hole now. Or dead. A shame. But Link at least looks kickass, so.

Look, they could not say a single other thing until release and everyone would still buy this game. Breath of the Wild was an incredible enough game that so many things that vaguely resemble it get compared- Genshin Impact comes to mind. This is likely made by the same (or similar) team, in the same world, and it looks fucking incredible. We all know this is going to be a good game. My hot take isn’t going to change that.

And that’s the tea, sis. All the shit that Ninty had in their corner of E3. It’s a pretty solid lineup! It looks like they are bringing their A-game. I was kind of surprised not to see any Pokemon stuff- while it usually gets its own direct these days, BDSP is really coming up soon and they kinda need to win back the crowd on that one.

Oh what am I saying, it’s fucking Nintendo, it’s too big to fail.

#ramble #video games #nintendo direct #e3 blogging #reaction content #this is how you get big on the internet right

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