You seem to have to relive yourself outdoors quite a bit based on the anecdotes you share, are archaeologists in Israel not allowed to have port a potties around a dig or something?

I'm taking a break from digging until I sort out all the crap I need to publish lmao my current job status is more of an Explorer type <3

Revolution of our Times

"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present." -Lao Tzu

I'm very lucky - I really am; and I never take the time to appreciate all my efforts to be where I am today. It's always the bad occurrences that determine how the rest of the day would be, but I never really stop to realize all the good things that happened. I'm so hard on myself and I don't deserve all that.

I am the daydreams my 2014 self imagined to be decades in the future. I am the little mantra my 2015 self whispered to himself as he pushed for another hour of studying human physiology. I am the five letters my 2016 self wanted to have appendaged after his name. I am the megacity my 2017 self tried to construct on his own. I am now everything who I wanted to be for years; yet why do I still feel like I need an escape? What am I escaping from? To where am I escaping to?

I grew up in a very Catholic family where our ethics and morals were based on the teachings of Jesus. This glorified religion can do no wrong and we all have to spend our daily waking moments thanking Him for dying for our sins. At least that's what the Catholic school in the Philippines taught me.

The omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent God Almighty created the heavens and the Earth for his sons and daughters - the never-ending expansion of our galaxies all thanks to Him, or that's what Sunday school ingrained in me here in Los Angeles. All this talk about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, yet why do I feel like I don't want any association with any of Them? Why do I feel like I'm not in the right place?

Perhaps I was raised in an environment where all my thoughts, beliefs, and ethics were chosen for me? Perhaps not?

Five years of my life, I have striven so hard to graduate with five letters following my name. My name that would bear the celebrated "RN, BSN". The five letters that would be the reminder of all my mother's sacrifice and the hard work I have devoted. These five celebrated letters that will always be part of my name - a name chosen for me; A constant sign to be grateful working in a career chosen for me; And following a path chosen for me; Where my everyday reflections are prayers from a religion chosen for me; While living with ethics and morals chosen for me; Together with my beliefs that are chosen for me; And my thoughts. All chosen for me. Who am I? Really. Was there ever a time where I had the liberty to decide who I was throughout the 24 years of me being alive?

My 2017 reflection focused a lot about a Voided City, an empty place within me, in which I had the chance to add my own colors to make the city brighter and merrier. 2018 was a bliss. Although bumpy at times, daily life was generally smooth-sailing, which helped me build the skyline of this Voided City: a beautiful skyline, with the moonlight reflecting on the water, filled with life - cars honking on the city roads and people chattering about their weekend plans. A skyline oh so captivating, it takes your breath away.

Climb up the tallest peak of the city and enjoy the breathtaking view of all the superficial facade this city is presenting to you. From this perspective, you could see a billow of smoke on the far end of the skyline small enough that it gives your view a little personality. That's me. That billow of smoke is me stuck in the middle of a university, barricaded by a cordon of police preventing me from leaving and help from entering. That billow of smoke is my signal for help. Don't believe what's circulating. My issue might be a small billow in a beautiful skyline, but I, myself, am on fire. There are people outside trying to get in to aid me; there are people outside barricading themselves in other universities in solidarity; there are people outside blocking more police from coming near my university. But I'm still here. I am alone in here. And I am on fire.

I have everything I ever wanted to have. I am everything I ever wanted to become. I am the skyline, but why is part of me on fire? Throughout this year, I asked myself this question over and over again. Once in a while, I would think I have the answer, just to realize it leads to more questions.

Shouganai (しょうがない). It is a Japanese word that means "it can't be helped". It's the concept of accepting the situation and making peace with it. Not every situation is going to be ideal, and life will always throw so many obstacles for you to tackle and stumble upon - just get up and find a way to continue your day with that setback. Shouganai.

You go to work and leave your morning tea at home. Shouganai.  There will be a place that serves your morning caffeine nearby.

You're training in your new job and made a silly mistake. Shouganai. You will learn and improve upon that mistake.

You suddenly spent five years of your life studying for a career that was chosen for you with no room for argument. Shouganai. Find ways to fill that emptiness within you, as shown in the ikigai chart. Take Chinese lessons, travel to India, explore activities you've never done - find that self satisfaction.

But then there's San Francisco; there's Singapore; and there's Hong Kong.

San Francisco. I wanted to leave Los Angeles and find a new home in that city, so I applied for a job there right after graduation. It was going to be far enough for me to move out and find a place of my own. I soon found out that orientation would not start until later in the year rather than the end of summer, so I took the job offer of the one in west Los Angeles; somewhere a few miles away that I could be sequestered and grow in my own terms, with no direct influence from anybody.

Singapore. It was the first time I ever traveled unchaperoned. There was a chance for me to leave the west to follow my own plan and itinerary and I grabbed that opportunity by the wrist. It was the time when I learned how to look after my own self and my needs in a foreign and unfamiliar land and to figure out what works for me. I managed to put myself in situations that pushed me out of my comfort zone - circumstances in which would not have been possible had I came with company.

Hong Kong.  No other event defined my year as much as the Hong Kong protests. It started off as political justice and human rights, but as I followed every march and updated myself with every gathering, I realized there was an uncanny similarity between me and Hong Kong. We both wanted to be free from someone or something that's been encroaching upon our rights to be an individual - our whole entire being. The Hong Kong skyline is so grand and majestic from afar, but go into the city and witness the chaos within its streets; the tear gases raining down onto its people; the smell of Molotov cocktails blanketing the buildings that are the archetype of modern architecture. These three places, though in different corners of the world, share the same theme - the theme of escape; and I learned that behind all these accomplishments is a burning spirit longing to run.

The years prior to now, my family had a great amount of influence in shaping my career, my beliefs, my thoughts, and my life. 2019 was the year I decided to be Hong Kong and pushed back against their impositions - for they are my China. If Hong Kongers don't want to be greatly influenced by their neighboring country, why don't they just escape to another place? Perhaps it's because they love their city so much and want to see it flourish on its own.

That's what I I need to do - I need to stand on my own two feet to figure out who I am rather than finding ways to escape. I need to stand firm and just grow.

I want to make peace with it. Truly, I am so grateful for everything I have - I am standing in a very beautiful city, a city that was once void. There's still a billow of smoke in a breathtaking skyline; and although I'm alone, I know there are people outside - some trying to get in to help me and some standing in solidarity.

So here's a note to my own self in 2020,

Challenge. Persist. Grow!

Have a blessed and healthy new year and new decade everybody! May this year bring you opportunities to thrive and realize your true worth; and may this decade bring you a peace of mind and more positivity. Let us all continue to love and cherish one another. There is so much in life to be grateful for! Thank every person who opens the door for you; give the gift of smile at every stranger who passes by you; engulf nothing but love and positivity to all your social circles. Let this new decade change you. Don't stay idle for too long for there are so many chances to improve upon yourself and your community and always remember to celebrate every victory, no matter how small! Challenge the construct. Evoke changes! Protest on! This may be the revolution of our times.

-Chris

Mycroft Fan Submission Form

Name: Ellen Age:28 Gender: Female Occupation: Registered Nurse Nationality: American Country of origin: The USA Personality type:INTJ Education: Bachelors (BSN) Marital Status: Single Who would you shoot out of John, Sherlock, Mycroft and why: I would probably turn the gun on myself. I don’t think anything but extreme circumstances, my child or spouse’s life, could cause me to take a life. Height: 5'5" Position in the family: I am the oldest of four, one sister and 2 brothers. Best subject: Sciences have always been my strong point. Favorite Subject: Maternal/Child Nursing Worst subject: I didn’t necessarily have a worst subject. If it did not hold my interest I did the bare minimum to maintain my GPA. Last song listened to: “We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off” Ella Eyre Favorite color: Blue, all of them. Thoughts on Molly and Sherlock’s impending relationship: It’s about time. Illness/allergies/impairments: I’m allergic to latex and have seasonal allergies. I have Celiacs, Reynaud’s, and ADHD mixed. Last sentence uttered to another living human being: STAT labs, cultures, and CXR as the left side sounds diminished and temp is 103? Hair color/length: Dark brown and below my shoulders. Who do you feel more sympathy for Sgt. Donovan or Anderson’s wife: Anderson’s wife, she did not make them sleep together. The vows of a monogamous relationship should be upheld. I don’t understand cheating and feel it is the ultimate betrayal. Eye color: Blue Constantly cold, hot or prefect: I’m always cold. Seven Noteworthy skills: I am an exceptional listener. I am determined I sing well enough. I have good observation skills Critical Thinking Patience Calm under pressure Nine noticeable sins: I can be too sarcastic. Stubborn Impulsive Overly self critical Easily Bored with things that don’t interest me Emotionally withdrawn My resting facial expression is mean Perfectionist Blunt Languages known/spoken:Only English. I am learning Spanish. Cats, dogs, both or other: Dogs. I have 2. How often you help your community: If you refer to my job as my community then 4. Favorite Holmes family member: Mycroft. Body type:3 averaged Number of past lovers: 2 Level of cleanliness: 2 Would you rather piss off Sherlock or Mycroft: Sherlock. He is emotional and once the emotional response has run its course the anger is usually forgotten. Rate your mental health: 4, gotta get more sleep. Rate your confidence: I would say a 3 on average. Sometimes I question myself. Combat Level: 3 Circle of friends: I have a small tight circle of close friends but many casual friends. Who do you side with more Sherlock or Mycroft: Mycroft. Level of intelligence on a scale of 1-5: 4 Who do you side with more Mycroft or Mrs. Hudson: Mycroft. Introvert or Extrovert: Introvert Political alignment: I am all over with my political views. I find it very hard to find one party I align with a majority of the time. Who would your rather be trapped in a long car ride with Mummy Holmes or Holmes Senior: Holmes Senior. I’m sure he would be very pleasant to talk to. Go to outfit for everyday: Long pants, tank top, and sweater. Honestly though I wear scrubs every day. Go to outfit to impress: A dress and heels 5 hobbies: Painting Reading Writing Hiking Dog training Opinion of Rosie Watson and Mary Watson: I love children and find it very hard to have a poor option of any child. I think they are all brilliant. I am indifferent to Mary. I cannot say what I would do if I were to be made to make the choices she did in life. Favorite music/book/movies: I love anything by J.R.R. Tolkien and reading a lot of medical, science, and various non-fiction books. I very much enjoyed the Wonder Woman movie. I will and do listen to any and all music. How well you take rejection on a scale from 1-5: I handle it pretty well, so about a 4. Religious or religious affliations: I was raised Catholic. Currently I do believe in God but I do not associate with any religion. Kids or no:I very much want children Out of the Holmes family (Siger, Violet, Sherlock and Eurus) who would you kill, maim, kiss or roommate with and why: I would kiss Violet in a close friend. Maim Sherlock but verbally. Eurus would be the only one I could see killing in a very extreme circumstance. Roommate Siger, I feel there is a lot about him we don’t know. Do you think what Mycroft did with Eurus (at the time) was justified and needed: I am the oldest and fiercely protective of my family. I understand where Mycroft was coming from. If I believed it was best for my other siblings safety and well being to contain another sibling, I would. I could also see the reasoning of lying to my parents of their death. As for using her to help the government, I often wonder if it was the only way he could justify interacting and seeing Eurus. I know I’d look for any reason to still visit them still.

One day three Greek philosophers settled under the shade of an olive tree, opened a bottle of Retsina, and began a lengthy discussion of the Fundamental Ontological Question: Why does anything exist? After a while, they began to ramble. Then, one by one, they fell asleep. While the men slept, three owls, one above each philosopher, completed their digestive process, dropped a present on each philosopher’s forehead, the flew off with a noisy “hoot.” Perhaps the hoot awakened the philosophers. As soon as they looked at each other, all three began, simultaneously, to laugh. Then, one of them abruptly stopped laughing. Why?

I guess he realized that they were laughing at him too so realized he had owl droppings on his head as well. It’s funny when it happens to others but not to you.

A 120 wire cable has been laid firmly underground between two telephone exchanges located 10km apart. Unfortunately after the cable was laid it was discovered to be the wrong type, the problem is the individual wires are not labeled. There is no visual way of knowing which wire is which and thus connections at either end is not immediately possible. You are a trainee technician and your boss has asked you to identify and label the wires at both ends without ripping it all up. You have no transport and only a battery and light bulb to test continuity. You do have tape and pen for labeling the wires. What is the shortest distance in kilometers you will need to walk to correctly identify and label each wire?

I don’t really understand this one but I’ll take a shot. So I’d group them to make dealing with them easier and label the groups at the start. Then take the grouped end down with me so that I could test and figure out which wire goes with which using light bulb and battery group. I’d label as I go. Then I’d have to walk the end back to the start. So 20km? I don’t know. I just know when labeling lines and hooking them up, I always go down and back up.

A woman is sitting in her hotel room when there is a knock at the door. She opened the door to see a man whom she had never seen before. He said “oh I’m sorry, I have made a mistake, I thought this was my room.” He then went down the corridor and in the elevator. The woman went back into her room and phoned security. What made the woman so suspicious of the man? He knocked on the door. You’d just open you’re own door.

Please bold the following that you wish to have with Mr. Holmes: Friendship Partnership Marriage Mentorship

Mycroft’s answer:

Ah, a nurse. I believe that you dear Ellen may be the first I have come across with the piles of applications and find it very refreshing to come across yours. So far with your questions you managed to answer two out of three correctly which is very promising as is your hobby for training dogs. Did you know that Sherlock at one point decided he would attempt to train a stray dog that had wandered into our neighborhood? A filthy if not friendly fellow. It was a shame that mummy wouldn’t allow Sherlock to keep him as I figured it would be a great companion for both him and might socialize Eurus a bit however after the ‘incident’ with Victor I feel fortunate that the poor creature found a loving home elsewhere. I can sympathize with the what others may call “resting bitch” face as both Sherlock and John claim that I have it despite my best efforts to look more enticing to young Watson but alas, I fear that she too like her father is wary of me and my intentions.It is also very comforting to find someone that validates my past decisions concerning the distressing business of Victor because even in my age I feel it was right and if I had to go through with again I would only change a few things like putting her into isolation in the first place without outside interference. Your line of work sounds very intriguing as from what I gathered you must work with adult or child like patients versus infants labs but I could be wrong. I’d love to discuss it over dinner.

-M

My dear Ellen,

Friendship: 9/10

Partnership: 8.9/10

Marriage: 8.8/10

Mentor-ship: 10/10