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andyastral · 4 years

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Thoughts on chapters

It’s best to be up to date in Straw before reading this. This is the first 9 chapters worth of authors notes.

This was a short chapter, and i had 18,000 words already written, but as time went on, the story evolved and changed from the direction it was going from. I had intended to just cut the entire Salem part out at this point, but wanted to bring in Tyrian, and couldn’t without bringing the rest of the plot into it.

Anyway, this was the last time in my mind that Qrow would be close to his right mind, and I kept it vague because I was toying around with different ideas on where I wanted the story to go, and it kept the mystery of what happened and who done it a big old question.

As well as yeah. It was a very violent attack that he needed surgery after a stomach pump. This kind of thing is shocking for everyone involved, family, friends, and of course the person that’s been hurt. Since Qrow doesn’t walk up for a good while, the focus had been on everyone else, his nieces and kids under his wing (ha), Ironwood, and Clover.

And I knew from the beginning I had to work hard to make sure I wasn’t implying that Clover was going to fix Qrow like how i’ve seen a lot of post noncon fics are like, that the victim needs an SO to make them feel complete and help them through it and later bang, when it’s just. Gross. For so many reasons. So it’s navigating Clovers feelings and actions as well.

I toyed for a while that Jaune was going to be the one to find out about Qrow’s attack, his semblance tipping him off when he was healing Qrow and I decided against that because I really didn’t want any extra drama with the kids.

As I wrote, James started to be a bigger character then he was supposed to be and I started to develop his and Qrow’s friendship. He’s incredibly shaken at not just the thought of Qrow dying, his violent injuries, coma- but the very implications he might have tried to kill himself because Qrow was very much a reason James didn’t kill himself after the accident and was a pillar of stability for him. Ironwood then places the case on Clover’s shoulders for several reasons. He can’t deal with it himself even if he wanted to, and that Clover would be every invested in making sure who ever did it was caught and he could trust Qrow in his care.

The Winter and Clover exchange was a late added part, and it was the start of writing the two of them as right hand man and woman- we don’t exactly know what Winters actual role is besides being a specialist and if her closeness is because she’s the winter maiden candidate or that’s how the ranking works. I also tried not to make her James glorified secretary- but I also didn’t want to add more characters then I should.

This was also the beginning of hinting that this attack could have been political,

Not informing the kids right away is something that i felt seemed right, because Clover is a fucking mess, and he didn’t want the girls to see their uncle dying and the last thing they saw was him struggling on life support. It’s a desision he shouldn’t have made for them, but once he’s stable Clover realizes how selfish his actions were. This is when Yang begins her own investigation off screen while Clover takes Ruby to the tundra to blow off steam and to take her away from the distress that is seeing her uncle comatose.

So they have a bonding moment, Robyn steps on toes by accident and Ruby shoots at her in warning. I very much enjoy Ruby as a character, she’s played up as innocent and a simple soul, but she is intelligent, a protégée and fucking brutal, she tore Tyrian’s tail off with no hesitation and I like characters like that. She’s also a young girl suddenly without her uncle that she relied on, and while Qrow doesn’t lead them, he supports them, and finding that she’s without his support at all terrifies her.

And her guilt over not trusting Ironwood with what they know about Salem eats at her, because in her mind, Ironwood has gone above and beyond earning her trust, but she’s traumatized from being betrayed by so many people- So her leap of faith in him I didn’t want to frame as ‘doing it because Qrow isn’t there to support her and her decisions’ but more she’s putting her trust in ironwood ater her talk with Clover about being a leader, and while she’s keeping secrets, it’s normal as a leader, but in this case, Ironwood deserved the truth.

So her telling him once she gets back was something that I didn’t plan to happen, but it did. It was the spiral that lead to me going through chapter 3 as I did- because Qrow was going to wake up in chapter 3, only his memory was gone for the afternoon he was attacked due to being drugged. I changed that.

The Clover and Elm scene is short, and I sort of want to develop the ace ops more, but put that on the back burning because I’m already judging so many characters. It’s to show that Clover is a mess, pushing himself and his teammate is stepping up to support him and get him to eat and rest.

Because Ironwood isn’t told about Salem being immortal and there being no way to just defeat her when they’re about to get attacked and he’s not high from adrenaline and painkillers from skinning his arm, he has time to process and adapt, then immediately informs Winter and Clover when he’s got something substantial.

Ruby also lied about one thing, and I’m not sure if anyone noticed it.

This also leads to Clover having very little sleep, and goes to see Qrow. In the original draft Qrow was going to wake up as Jaune was healing him, and he had no memory of the attack and Clover told him what happened. he’s obviously shocked and confused. This was when I didn’t know where i was going with the story, and there were drafts where neo was going to come assassinate him, leading to Cinder and her being found out, to Tyrian coming to take advantage of Qrow being hospitalized to kill him.

But I settled on some dialogue that made me have to throw 13,000 words out the damn window. I thankfully recycled some of it, but it goes to show I’m a gardener kind of writer at heart. Clover asking Jaune if Qrow had enemies, and Jaune immediately saying Tyrian Callows- one search later, Clover has a brain storm and it snowballs from there.

I stuggled with this chapter a great deal because I had to make it believable that he would suspect that it was Callows and that he was in the City, and that someone had to be helping him. It all turned out to be a coincidence, but it worked out for me as Tyrian and Watts are taken in, and Salem’s army is no longer on it’s way so I can have the timeline to myself, bar of course the election.

Ironwood puts the alcohol away before he calls in Winter in particular, knowing her aversion to it.

Because Ruby had just proven her trust to ironwood, he’s more willing to listen to her, and when she mentions bringing Robyn in to help with the search and to get the people to help he considers the idea- and because it all did work out, he asks her to be his protégé, and wants to train her more in leadership, as well as knowing he can learn something from her in turn. They both care about Qrow a lot, and him being moved somewhere safer and thinking that they caught the attacker eases them considerably.

This is an accumulation of Clover not sleeping, barely eating and being exshausted, it factors into him beating Tyrians face in. Tyrian had been hoping it would be the General he was tilting with his words, but got Clover kicking his ass instead. The goal was to not just distablize mantle, but tilt the general to scare him into doing something stupid, something that in canon Salem does flawlessly. Without the Seer grim being there, getting destroyed offscreen. Out of Meta, they have no idea that Salem is coming, but she’s also called off the attack because she’s lost contact. So they’re not exactly sure, but since Watts and Callows are imprisoned they’re at ease, having no idea Cinder and Neo are in play.

But yeah, Clover looses his cool, and Marrow tries to stop him from beating a prisoner, and he accidently hurts him- breaking his trust in Clover and making him realize how completely frazzled he was.

Because i forgot what happened in season 3, Qrow implies that Ironwood was a recent addition to the inner circle- I’ve headcanoned that Ironwood was also an academy recruit and just built from there. By the time i rewatched it I had already wrote the scene, so just rolled with it. It’ weird that I had Clover ask about how he feels about the whole ozpin thing, out of everything else, I wasn’t good at conveying that Clover had been worried about the General’s well being, especially after he says if he was present he would have killed Callows for his words.

The thing is that with all these changes, the general has been able to keep a cool head and make RATION DESISIONS TM.

Clover getting to know the kids a little better and being true to his word in looking out for the kids is something I enjoy writing about, and something i want to keep in mind as things move forward. While he feels like he can’t replace Qrow, i never went into how they feel about clover.

I wanted to slowly hint at Nora and Ren seeing him as a paternal figure, even if they don’t do a lot of interacting in the show, and that Yang and Ruby aren’t the only people effected by his sudden attack- and fleshed out how Oscar felt about Qrow when the last real interaction they had was QROW PUNCHING THE POOR KID.

And the beginning of Yang approaching Clover was something i wanted from the beginning, but Clover was going to struggle but eventually be able to keep her from the truth. Only it didn’t work out.

So. One of the first chapters I did. And BOY.

I don’t have much to comment on for this one. I wondered for a while if it would be weird to have it as a light chapter, when Lazu was a suspect, but it worked out as much as it could, Clover and Qrow had their first kiss and Clover is a blushing school boy because i had the idea that he’s great being a flirt, but the moment Qrow flirts back or makes his own advances he’s a blushing school boy cause my favourite trope is a flirt getting the tables turned on them and not knowing what to do.

The bee’s were going to pretend to have a catfight over the bodyguard, but i decided for it to happen off screen. Lazu also locked the door on Qrow so he wouldn’t leave, and is a definite sleezey move and he needed Yang to bust him out.

I never got to convey that Lazu was a big sword buff before he recognizes harbinger before he recognizes Qrow- his declaration to find Qrow when he gets out is kinda typical for a criminal to yell at an arresting officer.

And Qrow and Clover go have dinner together, and it’s called their not date and it’s truly the beginning of them going from flirting to starting to consider something between them and growing closer outside of work.

Bad cop wrote itself- half of it from the old draft, and the latter part was Yang and Clover being cop buddies. Breaking in, then Lazu having his security find them immediately. He was an interesting character, Clover’s POV already paints him badly, and won’t consider that he’s being sympathetic to what happened to Qrow and suspects he was involved. He implies that he cares if Yang knows what happened to her uncle, and that he’s disgusted over what happened, and clover interoperates that he’s disgusted that Qrow was a rape victim unable to protect himself. Lazu genuinely wants to help- as well as clear his name and hinting of his empathy.

Due to Clover loosing time after going to talk to robyn and just needing support, Yang gets to the place early, and Junior gives her the files she asked for so she’ll leave her alone. What was going to happen was Yang and Clover were going to turn up and Juniors mother, Mama Bear, ambushes them because she’s sick of Yang pushing her baby boy around. It was cut in favour for Yang going to go beat Lazu’s shit in.

There isn’t a question that Yang was going to go kill him, and it’s not even brought up as a moral choice. She’s going to kill him, and Clover getting in the way and vouching for him stalls her, he get’s over whelmed and starts crying, and Clover comforts her. It looking like Qrow tried to kill himself is something that keeps coming up, because no one knows for certain if he did or not. Yang didn’t believe it, but after finding out Qrow was raped it’s now a possibility and she can’t take it anymore.

Lazu Mason was a hint to him. Lazu being lapis lazuli, a stone known for honour, wisdom and clairvoyance- his intelligence work and his security and his stress on his own honour, and Mason, aka a stone mason that’s been helping fix the wall.

Qrow finally wakes up, and Yangs internal thoughts was something that actually made me cry writing because holy shit the poor girl has had to grow up fast, and as a result has a bit of a mother hen complex. She’s good at giving emotional Support, and mature for her age, but she’s still 18 years old and like Ruby, she’s now without her uncle who has ALWAYS been there, even when he was intoxicated he was still there. She recognizes that he’s done for her and Ruby and Tai, and she’ll never not be grateful.

Qrow is confused and just thinks that Yang has woken from a nightmare and came to see hi, unable to comprehend that she’s 10 years older then she should be in his memories. So the conversation they have is offscreen where he’s confused about what year it is and treating her like a child. It’s offscreen because I was already spent from the first part, and I didn’t know how to go from there. So her coming out of the room shaken, and I left it up to Ironwood to help him remember a little more.

Also because i just didn’t want yang to have to do that. You all watch Steven universe? That’s what happens when a kid takes on adult problems like that- and Ironwood recognizes that Yang is too young to be dealing with that and already emotionally drained.

Moving on to Ironwood and Qrow, this is academy days Qrow, a teenager/ young adult that’s still heavily traumatized from a childhood and being adopted into the branwen tribe was a step UP from the house he was in. James is heartbroken at his friend’s state, and Qrow unintentionally opens up old wounds that hurt him, as well as highlight to James that his friend’s memory is in tatters.

The entire conversation convinces him that Qrow is too fragile in the state he’s in, and that he’s failed in protecting Qrow because he was hurt under his care, and the theory that he was attacked over the embargo is still on the table. Rereading and keeping the tin tyrant in mind.

And to tie Yang and Ironwood together in this, Ironwood had the sobriety coins printed for his friend but gave it to yang for her to give them to him because he didn’t know where they stood as friends. I called it sobering because Qrow being awake, and definitely not right in the head is a cold slap in the face for any celebrations.

Infested Tundra really is filler except for the part where Marrow and Clover make up, and we get a little more into Clovers mind. Blake being worried for Marrow is hinted at, and he just confronts Clover without fear when Yang doesn’t turn up, so he gives her the truth. I hinted that Blake was being standoffish to Clover, and her reasoning was she knew Marrow was upset with him but he didn’t tell her why.

Giant worm for fun, Blake and Ren being ninja friends and Ren being a little shit in dobbing on Blake and jus team building. Ruby taking some leadership is to show her lessons with ironwood are quickly rubbing off on her.

Also Ruby using her eyes over the sheer joy of learning her uncle was awake is just. Good shit. And I wish I wrote it better. Maybe one day i’ll do a rewrite, but that’s not on the table until Straw is DONE.

#there s only straw #authors notes #fellas is it egotistical to write 5 thousand word notes on your own work

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