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lovedinapastlife · 5 years

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Riverdale Reaction - 3x17 - “The Master”

They could’ve renamed this episode “The Snacks” and it’d be pretty damn accurate

The Serpents are slithering in the name of justice and laser pointers! I’m already 10/10 all in

No necklace on V! Is that growth? Can Betty get her a BFF chain thing? Like a heart with two halves and they each wear them? Ohhhh look at my scheming girls.

HA! The Serpents pool table replaced the dining room table. I mean, priorities. Really.

There is an obscene amount of orange juice in the Jones house. Commentary on the acidic relationships? Sunny dispositions? Maybe not. The photos on the fridge have changed and transferred! Woo! OH NO SHE DID NOT grab Jug by his hair and hat. Momma is going down. I’m siccing the girls on her.

Omg Betty’s “ritualistic drowning” line and Veronica’s big smile like “That’s my girl” made my heart swell. Love them when they’re fighting evil instead of perpetrating it.

Did Kevin just put “garden” in air quotes? It sounded like he did. They do have a garden. We saw it. Multiple times.

Alice looks good in white. And crazy XD Wear a silky camisole out in the world as a shirt. You do you, girl. I love the orange/red "yeah I used to be a Serpent” outfit from S2 and hope that comes back at some point.

Why do they choose the creepiest area of Mercy to do interviews? I enjoyed it, weirdly enough. Made their facial expressions reminisce of unimpressed teens sitting in on a scary story. Also, I love how it’s just a check mark box of YES or NO on whatever’s on the sheet and Evelyn didn’t bother marking the last one.

Hermione, the whiney ex-wifey. What was she gonna do if Hiram actually stayed down during those 2 murder attempts? Girl, all you had to do was hold those tubes of oxygen and he’d be taking a dirt nap

Archie’s face as he makes a healthy shake while Jughead noms on chips made me laugh. Classic. Also, any time Archie eats something unhealthy he looks anxious like it will immediately deflate his abs. The prison storyline is silly. Still. Am I the only one who’s still confused by Mad Dog’s status?

The Varchie scene. Sigh. Sometimes I want to bite Archie’s nose because I’m not passionate enough to slap him but I’m frustrated enough I wanna leave a pointy little imprint for a minute. “You worked so hard…before…” Oh like Mary, Sierra, and Betty did as well when you were in trial? And yes, Veronica worked her butt off too and made CUPCAKES for your return! THE CUPCAKES! I’m still upset about it.

“Yes, they wear white after Labor Day…” Is it intentional that Cheryl’s wearing white in this scene? Foreshadowing? Love the little detail on her sweater and Betty’s red sweater as if she’s an ally for the Blossoms.

Ok I’m loving the over-the-top nonsense of Jughead with a switchblade demanding they look for gargoyles on telephone poles and confiscate “gaming equipment.” The Serpents oughtta get a PS4 or something. I love Deputy!Serpents. SOMEONE has to actually do some investigating in this town. And ass-kicking? And pin-pushing? Hilariously enough. Did anyone else notice Jughead thanked a kid named “Jason” on the walkie? Is there a Serpent without a stupid nickname? Or is that a codename?! So many questions.

Ha! FP is mad the Serpents “ruined” his bust. Like, sorry for doing your job before you, sir.

BETTY SNOOPER! What a nickname. Love you, girl.

ELUCIDATE THAT. Damn, sir. You know how to use that vocabulary. I never had an affinity CMM as a teen but he’s got some vibes I’m digging. Like the colorful candles intermixed with the regular ones.

I love how Elio shows up in a full suit to antagonize men he doesn’t know and walks away after it appears Archie is more interested in Fight Club Light

Ok Cheryl has a daddy kink. I know she’s a canon lesbian but canon also has her very interested in the DILFs as eye-candy. Ooooh I cringed when she called him “Eddie.”

I had to rewatch the Archie and Juvie Crew Pop’s scene to get the significance of the guy saying “If I never ate anything but these burgers again, I’d die happy.” WHELP! Good news, person I presume is “Baby Teeth!”

People are terrible at assassination in Riverdale. Why send her a fish? That’s a decent dinner if she could cook. Which I somehow doubt, despite her waitressing at Pop’s. Now her apartment smells.

Betty stands alone in a sea of psychos

Oh my god Hiram’s little SPOOOON! He’s just trying to eat his tiny snacks in peace. He is so done with being accused of everything XD Honestly, he’s probably as sick of his storylines as we are. Also, is that a man with the Olympic torch on the left? Is that gonna be his S4 storyline? Hiram goes for Gold?

Uuuugh I know it was a useless but cute scene and Bughead are so soft I wanna cry. They’re glowing.

Are there ribbon-cutting ceremonies for prisons? Only in Riverdale, I guess.

Maybe there’s a good reason Betty didn’t ask Archie to be her mole at the Farm. He’d definitely join them or just break stuff with his new boxing crew and be like, “LOOK, BETTY! I DID WHAT YOU ASKED :D”

So the juvie guys know the same Serpent deputy secret signals, huh? This sequence is so Riverdale. And Jughead takes NO ONE up with him except Mr. Crowbar? Look at this crazy fight sequence. Good thing the Gargoyles choose to wear masks that limit their vision or our boys may have been in trouble. Because in this DARK SHOW with 99% leather and jeans on boys, how would they know who was who otherwise?

Omg Rhino!Archie is on the loose! I have mixed feelings about the raid sequence.

The ascending window-escape wasn’t really a build-up? They needed some creepy dialogue or something more than that one line. That fall looked pretty painful though? At least he didn’t snag the beanie on a stray plank.

Ok this show doesn’t get how marriage and annulment works. But that’s okay. Hiram can be like Henry VIII and make his own rules. It’s Riverdale.

VERONICA! You schemey schemer! I’d clutch my pearls if we still had any!

Okay does Gladys genuinely not care if Jughead gets shot? Like, she doesn’t actively want to murder him but she’d be fine if he was gone? Because that SUCKS. And giving the Gargoyles guns, she knew that was a possibility. Okay, lady. Game on. Jug should tell his dad. Oh man. My heart.

Betty, my precious snoopy angel! Find Edgar’s tapes and Evelyn’s if you can!

“Like a seance?” anyone else having flashbacks to Jason’s wake and Betty and Juggie bein’ cute lil detectives? Cheryl…oh Cheryl. You saw Jason move on. CARRY ON MY WAYWARD BLOSSOM~ Also, I know the Toni breakup thing was a ruse, but uh…where is she? Just pretending to be broken up with Cheryl? Not caring that she’s in a cult? Alrighty then.

I wonder if Archie or Hiram kept the random trophies in the gym. Again, I’m gonna randomly say that’s gonna be a future season storyline. Forget state champs, these teens wanna get to the Olympics, only to be undermined by their jealous parents!

Okay Betty in a scooped/V-neck? Nice. Also, it looks like Alice is wearing a sheep pin which makes me laugh and also die a little inside.

Alice. You have a daughter. Two, in fact. Neither of whom you have a good experience with because you’re a crap mom, so of course the imaginary dead son is your favorite.

Betty vs. Evernevers! Hell yes! Can we have V join Team Betty more actively as a badass and ignore the speakeasy/divorce stuff in favor of righteous awesome? ‘K thanks!

The Baby Teeth stuff was gross. No thanks. Next.

#riverdale reaction #riverdale react #3x17 #3.17 #riverdale #the master

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