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decembercamiecherries · 4 years

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Chapter 18 title: Epilogue

Chapter 18 word count: 2,384 -> Total story word count: 105,822

Chapter 18 summary:

Gon kissed him again—though this time it was probably to shut Killua up more than anything. Killua could feel his laughter in the vibration of his lips, but Killua found he didn’t care. Instead he threw his arms around Gon’s shoulders, smiling into Gon’s lips, and kissed him back.

They’d saved each other, in many ways. And now that they were together, they would save each other countless times more.

I wrote this whole sprawling goodbye/end of the fic essay on ao3 so I’m not going to clog up this post by repeating all that lol. Please just know that this fic has pushed me to become a better writer in so many ways and I absolutely love it. This is my favorite fic I’ve ever written. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me until the end <3

-o0o-

The setting sun was beautiful against the backdrop of endless grass and rolling hills.

Killua watched as the sky turned from blue to purple to scarlet to gold, his palms pressing into the wood of Kite’s porch and his silver hair swaying in the breeze. Everything felt so much more peaceful here, he had noticed. There were no beeping cars or blaring sirens like in the city. Here, the only sounds were the quiet chirping of crickets and the distant voices of his sister and Kite.

He squinted out at the horizon. He could just barely see them, two silhouettes against the blinding sun. Kite was the tall, willowy figure, a cap on his head. Alluka was shorter, her bush of thick hair chopped short since they jumped into a stolen car at the airport and took off into the night. She looked nice with the shorter hair, Killua thought. It suited her.

Creak.

“Whatch’a thinkin’ about?” Gon grunted as he sat down next to Killua on the porch steps. Killua shrugged, allowing Gon to wrap an arm around his waist and pull him close. Even as he hugged him, Gon was careful to avoid Killua’s fractured ribs and for that, Killua was grateful.

“Dunno,” Killua said vaguely. He watched as Alluka’s figure turned towards the small house where he and Gon sat. She threw up a hand, waving enthusiastically, and Killua automatically raised a hand in return. “Just...stuff.”

Gon hummed. “Any kind of specifically interesting stuff?”

“Not really.”

They sat in silence for a moment. A bird crowed in the distance and the sun was warm on Killua’s skin. They could sit here forever at never worry another day in their lives.

Gon commented, “It’s quiet here.”

“Yeah. I like it, though. I’ve never lived away from a city, before. It’s a good change.”

Gon nuzzled his face into Killua’s hair. Killua didn’t need to see Gon’s smile to hear it in his voice, “I’m glad you like it. Maybe, if you want, I could show you the farm I grew up in.”

“The one with your Aunt?”

“Mhm.”

A small smile tugged at Killua’s lips. “I would like that.”

“I think you would, too. You might have a hard time bringing Alluka, though.”

“Yeah, well—” Killua huffed, “—it’s not my fault she’s obsessed with him. I think she might be even more taken with Kite than you.”

Gon laughed and Killua grinned at the sound. Alluka had been very taken with Kite, right from the moment they all arrived on his farm in the middle of the night. She was fascinated with his ideas, listening intently to his discussions about research with wide and eager eyes. Kite in turn questioned her about her inventions, even helping to pull out some bits of metal from his basement to help test a theory of hers. The two had connected on a level almost better than Kite and Gon.

“You don’t mind it?” Killua asked, turning a little to look at him. “I mean, Alluka’s kind of hogging all of Kite’s attention and he’s supposed to be your friend.”

Gon shrugged. “Kite lost his memory years ago because of what Pouf did to him. I can’t expect him to know who I was, or for him to like me right away with who he is now. It’ll take time. But that’s okay! I’m just happy he’s alive and safe. And Alluka too, of course.”

Killua leaned his head back on Gon’s shoulder, eyes fluttering shut. He could smell the faintest hint if pine. “I’m glad,” he murmured.

Gon shifted slightly under him. “About what, Killua?”

“That Alluka is happy. That we found Kite. That we’re all still alive.”

“I knew we could do it!”

“Yeah, well...I had my doubts.”

“Hmm. It did get a little hairy there at the end.”

“Yeah…”

Killua frowned. A week had passed since their encounter with Pouf. The bruises on his and Gon’s bodies were yellowing but still tender, and Killua’s ribs still ached even after a rough but thorough patching up on Leorio’s part on the way to the airport. And Killua still woke up every night running from a crazed looking Pouf who turned into a swarm butterflies before exploding into flames.

But the nightmares about Pouf were always better than the ones with Nanika—those nightmares were worse, because they often left Killua locked alone in a dark room with nothing but the younger version of his deceased sister, staring at him with holes for eyes and a toothless, empty smile.

Gon must have noticed Killua’s silence. He nudged Killua slightly, and asked, “How are you two holding up, by the way?”

Killua shrugged. “It’s hard,” he said honestly. He wouldn’t lie to Gon and make their situation seem better than it was. He and Alluka has paid dearly for their escape from their family and the Palace. “That AI was the last connection we had to Nanika. With it, we felt like we were somehow keeping her with us. Letting her go like that was…”

“Not what you wanted,” Gon finished. “Yeah, I get it.”

Killua sighed heavily. “It just sucks, you know? The price of leaving our family behind for good was leaving Nanika behind, too.”

“Do you really think they’ll leave you alone now?”

“I’m sure they’ll keep looking,” Killua mused. The warmth of the sun’s rays were growing weak on his skin. The sun would set fully soon. “But Nanika didn’t just self-destruct that night in my and Alluka’s beads. She would have followed that self-destruction order with all her beads, including the ones my family stole from us. She would also have fried any system she was connected to—”

“So your family’s technology is basically destroyed? Gon asked and Killua nodded.

“Theirs, and the President’s. That’s why all those alarms went off that night, because Nanika was destroying every electronic system and code that Pouf’s phone was connected to.” He paused. “But we should take Kite and move on from this place tonight anyway, if we want to keep the President off our backs.”

“Oh! Yeah, ‘course, that was the plan all along. But—” Gon let out an appreciative whistle, “—wow. Your sister was really something. I wish I could have met her…”

Killua swallowed thickly. There was a lump in his throat, a burn in his eyes. He didn’t think he would ever fully get over Nanika. But he would do is best to remember her and honor her memory.

“Yeah,” he said roughly. “I wish you could have, too.”

“Maybe you should take me to see her grave,” Gon suggested. “Like how I showed you Kite’s!”

Killua shook his head. “No way, that’s all the way back in Padokea with my family.”

“Oh...we're better staying here, then.”

Killua let out a bark of laughter. “You could say that again.”

Silence fell between them. It wasn’t the kind of stiff and strangely charged quiet that had risen up to meet them in the first week they’d met. They’d seen too much of each other’s fears and hopes to be like that anymore.

Killua had changed, since meeting Gon. He trusted him because he knew him, had seen him at his highs and lows. He was comfortable here on this porch, watching the sun set and resting in Gon’s embrace.

“What about you?” Killua asked quietly. “Do you think you’re free from the Hunters?”

“...I think so,” Gon said thoughtfully. “I mean, I didn’t contact them after the chaos at the Palace. They probably think I died.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

Gon squeezed him. “Yes, Killua. I don’t want that life anymore. I just want you.”

Killua closed his eyes and breathed deep. His heart throbbed at Gon’s words, his skin warming and his chest filling with something light and giddy. It had taken him a while to figure out why his body responded to Gon’s confessions like that.

But now—now he knew why.

Killua opened his eyes. “H-Hey...Gon?”

“Mmm?” came the sound of Gon’s happy hum. The feel of his warm arms wrapped around him made Killua want to melt into his embrace and never leave, but this was important. He wanted to see Gon with his next words.

So he gently untangled Gon’s arms from around his waist and turned to face him. Gon’s eyes fluttered open, the color of his irises turning gold in the sunlight, and Killua’s heart fluttered in turn. He reached out to interlock their fingers, relishing the easy way their hands fit together so easily.

“I want to—to tell you something,” Killua began hesitantly and Gon tilted his head.

“Yeah?”

Killua gave a jerky nod. “Yeah. Um...do you remember the night of the invasion?”

Gon’s lips twitched up into a humorless smile. “Kind of hard to forget. Didn’t we get captured and you get beat up in front of me and then almost got handed back to your family?”

Killua swallowed thickly. Could Gon feel his palms sweating? “Exactly. But, uh, before that...at the party. We danced together.”

“Mhmm.”

Gon had started to stroke the back of Killua’s hand with his thumb. The movement was comforting but distracting at the same time. And it most definitely didn’t help that Gon looked like a golden statue in the sunlight—his skin glowed bronze and his freckles popped like mini suns on round cheeks. It made Killua want to…

No. Focus, Killua. You have a mission.

Killua sucked in a shaking breath. “You said then that you loved me.”

Gon stopped stroking Killua’s hand. He focused on Killua’s face, a frown ghosting across his lips. “I did. I do. Why, are you doubting me?”

“Wha—no!” Warmth prickled across Killua’s cheeks, a heat that had nothing to do with the summer sun. “Of course not! How could I, after everything that happened?”

“Oh. Okay, then.” Gon relaxed and went back to stroking Killua’s skin.

Killua shook his head. Gon was a little too intense for him, sometimes.

“Why’d you bring that up?” Gon asked. He was looking down at their hands, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I thought we were trying to move past that whole ordeal. ‘Start over’ and all that.”

“We are. I just wanted to tell you that…” Killua steeled himself and squeezed down on Gon’s hands. Maybe if he squeezed hard enough, the butterflies in his gut would fly over to Gon instead.

He said timidly, “I wanted to tell you that I—that I love you. I’m in love you, too, I mean. Um.”

He stopped. Gon was staring at him, eyes blown wide as the setting sun. It made Killua feel even more self-conscious than he already felt, the butterflies in his gut swarming and battering against his chest like they were trying to escape.

“You...You love me?” Gon asked. His question was barely louder than a whisper. “You’re in love with me, Killua?”

Killua forced himself not to look away from Gon’s slowly darkening face. He had never been the best with sharing his emotions, and he doubted he ever would. But he was so sure of this, confident for his feelings in a way he’d never been sure about anything, except maybe loving Alluka and hating his family.

And Gon had always been so open with Killua, from the very start. He never lied, never put Killua in any danger more than necessary. And he trusted Killua, just as Killua now trusted Gon.

“I do,” Killua said and his voice shook. Gon breathed in deep, his whole chest swelling. “I’m, uh, sorry it took me so long to—to—you know—mph!”

The rest of Killua’s stumbling apology was quieted by Gon’s mouth being shoved against his. Gon’s hands cupped Killua’s jaw, fingers digging into Killua’s burning cheeks as the ex-Hunter kissed him enthusiastically. Killua closed his eyes and returned Gon’s kiss, tasting cinnamon and smelling pine and feeling that all-consuming and ever present warmth Gon constantly exuded.

He didn’t think he would ever get tired of this. When Gon kissed him, the butterflies in his chest fell away and the rest of the world with it. All that mattered was Gon and his love for Killua. It was a love Killua knew he could count on, to face today’s problems and tomorrow’s and everything that came after.

Killua hadn’t expected to find this when he found Gon. But now that he had, he couldn’t imagine living without it.

Gon pulled back and Killua’s eyes fluttered open. Gon’s pupils were blown wide, leaving only a rim of gold around the edge. Something hot coiled in Killua’s gut at the sight.

“I love you too, you know,” Gon whispered, lips split in a gleeful grin.

Killua rolled his eyes. Now that Gon had stopped kissing him, Killua could feel the burn of his blush in full force. “You told me that, already.”

“I know! But now that you love me, I can say it whenever I want!”

“I doubt you would have stopped telling me that, even if I didn’t confess to you. You called that stupid meal at the diner a date.”

Gon laughed. “You’re probably right,” he agreed and stroked Killua’s cheeks with his thumbs. “But I already knew, then.”

Killua’s heart swooped and soared, and he finally didn’t have to wonder what the feeling was. He whispered, “Knew what?”

Gon grinned, showing off a brilliant smile that Killua adored so much. “I knew that you were special. And I couldn’t be more grateful you sat next to me on the train that day. You saved me, Killua.”

Killua squeezed Gon’s wrists. “I think you saved us. If you hadn’t come, we still would have en hiding from my family. Alluka and I wouldn’t have been free to travel the world.”

Gon smirked. “Let’s agree to disagree.”

“Stop being so damn stubborn—”

They’d saved each other, in many ways. And now that they were together, they would save each other countless times more.

#dc writes #Graffiti #killugon #hunterxhunter #killua zoldyck #gon freecss #Graffiti chp18 #modern au #kissing #gang au #mafia au

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