#i probably would've gone completely insane if I weren't an eldest sibling | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

celestiachan · 4 months

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i am thinking about how fucked up my mom made me and just when i was getting over that how fucked up she made me and just when i was getting over that the pandemic started and irreversible harm was done to my psyche

#xenon screams #vent #my mom wouldn't let me go outside #strangers are going to come and slash you #now idk what the fuck slashing is but it sounds terrifying as hell. and i was 4. so i believed her #so i played inside. only talked to my friends at school. couldn't relate to them. only had webkinz and a sketchbook to keep me company #i probably would've gone completely insane if I weren't an eldest sibling #new school 4th grade. it's nice. enter 5th grade #when i tell you she did irreversible harm to my social developemt i mean she was so annoying and clingy that i got avpd #she's the reason why i started having homicidal thoughts #anyway 9th grade. school cares more about me than my parents. hospital. i started Lexapro n shit #therapy is nice. i made friends at the hospital. i even made a friend at school. i hope they're doing ok #im finally allowed to go outside and do things!#the next year is 2020 #maybe i should just kill someone and go to jail. that way id be able to meet people #fuck dude right before the pandemic started i was in the esports club. smash ultimate was about a year old. i was the “only girl'' there #i was about to be a real person with life experiences and social skills #i almost made friends

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