I feel washed up

hi uhm announcement phil here! In my rush to get shit done I kinda forgot to announce that Tommy is going on a permanent(?)* hiatus the blog. Goodbye Big Man! o7!

In other news, I didn't get the chance to run this past Mod Boo, since she isn't active on discord at the moment, but I may go delete old request from the inbox and do a little restart for everything for this "new year" of the blog...

At the moment, all I know is that I desperately need to redo the anon list, because my notes for it are such an headache... I may just cut it down to frequent anons rather than every anon that ever sent a message, but I think I'll keep trying to write every anon down somehow... I dunno it will probably take a lot of tinkering for me to find something for this that is doable.

But uhm well I don't know how things will go just yet. Boo is still a Mod here and thusly I would like to consult her on anything I may do, but I do think changes are coming to the blog... I recall us floating around the ideas of doing like ask games and stuff a while back and I think maybe I'll play around with bringing that back!

Honestly if you have suggestions for things you may want from here I'd be glad to hear them out. Might as well do that while I have change on the mind yknow?

Hope you guys are doing well. Also sorry if I only appear sporadically, I'm between a lot of things right now. -Phil

*- Note: I say "permanent(?)" because I will not be removing his access from the blog. I'm gonna leave that door open for him to do whatever he wants with it. He's a founder yknow so uh yeah. I'm always gonna welcome him back to be a mod if he ever wants to be one again in the future.

Promo "Rosenrot" (2005), Olivier Riedel and Till Lindemann — Interview by Phil Lageat and Olivier Rouhet, 05-09-2005 (Rock Hard #048)

Rock Hard : [...] At the time of interviewing Till Lindemann (vocals) and Oliver Riedel (bass) - Paul Landers and Christoph Schneider are also present, but answer other stores - several questions are bothering us... because we are worried. We start by taking news of the band, which recently canceled dates in Asia and South America.

Oliver Riedel : Till injured his knee during the concert in Gothenburg (Sweden) during a collision with Flake, hence the cancellation of the Asian dates. Then Flake caught a childhood illness. He is currently confined to a hospital bed with mumps. Not exactly dramatic, but he could only hear with one ear, which was rather annoying. So we had to postpone the South American dates. Nothing serious...

RH : The fact of recording in Berlin, and not abroad, as usual, in a short period of time, has put on the shoulders of the musicians an increased and useless pressure ?

Oliver : Yes, absolutely ! It's the first time we've recorded in Berlin, at home, and I'm not sure, looking back, that it was a good idea. Our families living nearby, we might tend to look at our watches whenever we had a break : What am I doing ? Do I take the opportunity to drop by home ? As a result, we were necessarily less focused and it was almost impossible for us to be there 100%.

Till Lindemann : More pressure ? Yes and no. Usually we like to work in a relaxed and mellow atmosphere, which we did when recording Reise Reise in Spain. In Berlin, it was quite different, because we worked 12 to 14 hours a day. And we did feel time pressures. It was a pretty intense creative process, which is why this album is quite special and out of the ordinary. I wouldn't say I'm proud of this record - it might be a bit too much - but I'm very happy with it nonetheless.

RH : [...] It seems that this extreme fatigue is not just physical. Admittedly, lately, they do a lot of albums and concerts, but we remember the tensions born during the gestation of Mutter. How can we not think, for a moment, that the Rammstein machine did not exhaust the friendship that bound the members of the group, to the point that they feel the occasional need to no longer see each other ? Have they learned to manage their friction in order to get off to a better restart ?

Oliver : It's true, I admit, we are washed out, burnt out. This is the reason why we are considering this prolonged hiatus... During the Mutter era, we did face some personal problems and we had to distance ourselves from each other. Then, we got closer and managed the conflicts that opposed us. Today, the atmosphere within the band is excellent, but we want to take this break to rest physically. In theory, we're looking at a hiatus of almost a year. But, who knows, maybe we'll meet beforehand to rehearse if the urge arises. And it is already planned that we meet to shoot two or three music videos which should illustrate the next singles of the album. To summarize, these three days of promotion, a few videos, and basta ! I love surfing and I am thinking of going around the beaches with my little van, just to see the country. Is it still possible that we go on vacation together ? (smile) No, I don't think so... Two or three of us, yes, but not the others.

RH : But let's stop complaining, and let's go back, along with Till, to his texts, often encrypted and regularly tackling “taboo” subjects (homosexuality in “Mann Gegen Mann”, our primary instincts in “Zerstören”, etc.)

Till : Journalists always want to know what is the deep meaning of my texts. Personally, I find it much more interesting that my words appeal to the imagination of listeners, that they interpret them in their own way. It is for this reason that I don't wish to submit my point of view : it would then be rehashed, no room would be left to the imagination. But back to "Rosenrot" : it is a very old word. "Reise, Reise", which dealt with the life of sailors, was also intended to be a reference to Herman Melville's novel, Moby Dick. Our choruses are always composed of simple words, but very strong, like "Sehnsucht" or "Du Hast". "Rosenrot" is color as a sign. With the Brothers Grimm, it is about a girl : in the song, the latter drops a rose from a cliff and asks her lover to go and get it back so that he can prove his love to her. But the unfortunate falls... and kills himself. Outside of Rammstein, I write collections of poems. It has nothing to do with writing song lyrics. It's not going to sound very serious, but I'm saying it anyway. Writing a poem is actually quite simple : you just have to drink a few good glasses of wine and let your imagination run wild (laughs). Writing the text of a song is much more difficult : your lyrics must stick with precise stanzas, a chorus, a metric that is imposed on you. And a guitarist just has to tell me "wait, I'm going to slip three more notes over here, so you need three more words!" And everything has to be redone... It may be that these three fucking words require me three months of work. Poetry is pure pleasure, the text of a song is real work.

RH : If there is one title that emerges from Rosenrot, it is the excellent "Te Quiro Puta", sung in Spanish. Does Till have a soft spot for South American music ? The answer may surprise :

Till : Not that I like a particular song, it's those popist salsa beats that go straight into the blood, that your body can't resist, that I like. What artists like Joachim Sabena and Manu Chao are doing is fantastic. The others like it less, but recently, in backstages, I was making them listen to Sonora Palacio, classical Chilean music, with trumpets and everything. And gradually, I ended up making them totally addicted... When will a song in French ??? Very soon, I hope ! (laughs)

© Felix Broede & Mat Hennek (2005)

I've read the thing about your parents and I'm so mad right now. They should respect your ups and downs, not pressure you. Honestly you should not care about what they say, because you don't deserve such words. Just do what you feel like doing. If you cannot write, it's ok. You don't have to worry even though I know it's frustrating. Maybe tomorrow you'll wake up and get at it again. 1/2

I'm sure even if you think what you are writing is trash, many people will like it. Most of us are not satisfied with what we create, but that doesn't mean it's not good, you know? If you love writing, go ahead and do it. Not because you want to achieve perfection or whatever but because it's what you love. Do it for yourself and fuck the rest. It can be the biggest shit ever, yeah. But what's wrong about that? Maybe it's not. 2/3 whoops

Maybe I consider what you think is shit a bloody masterpiece. Well, I don't know what I'm saying at this point. What I mean is: don't let them abase you. Don't feel bad because you are not in the mood to do something you love. This is just a phase and someday you'll be over it, so don't worry too much. Don't worry, be happy. But really, I refuse to see you distressed about what they tell you. You should add salt to their coffes. Omg I can't believe I'm this mad. Kurapika wouldn't allow this.

oh my go d nonny you’re so sweet!! Honestly I was kinda tearing up reading your message and now I’m laughing ways too much at the salt in the coffee and last sentence you’re adorable thank you so, so much!

You’re entierely right tbh. I kinda know that deep down but I’m still a little too blocked by my own insecurities when it comes to those stuff that I don’t always remind myself of that. Thank you so much. 

I’m sad I can’t write anymore like I used to, and I know that eventually anyone can at least find maybe one thing they like in what I write (when I was 12 I was already writting fics and I actually had a lot of support while it was like, utter cliché trash? and I know I kinda did better with the years (o r s o I hope) so I get that others people might light my work) - and idk what blocked me this hard and why I got so anxious about writting all together. It’s like words don’t come up anymore that’s it. 

But as you say, it may just as well come back one day. Eventually after a bit I’ll be able to write again, I just need maybe a little time. Hell before I started writting in english I had like a one year hiatus where I wouldn’t write anything else ever? Then somehow there was a time I wrote a lot more (I think i published about 70k in a few months or so when I restarted writing) and life got in the way and I never felt satisfied with my writting again and I didn’t really pick it up again since. 

But I already had come backs from long times without writting. It’ll come back eventually, one step at a time, maybe when I’ll have a better peace of mind already. On that I completely agree with you.

Then when it comes to my parents, they always say stuff that arrange themselves. They’re obsessed with the idea to fix what’s wrong in the shorter possible ways but they don’t really understand what’s wrong to start with. Talking with them is extremely frustrating. My mom used to be an artist so she eventually gets it, ish, but she wants to push me now rather than waiting my own time. My step dad is not, and he believes that if I like to do it it should be easy and I’m just doing it wrong, and it’s so. so frustrating, especially when he cuts me everytime I try to make an argument. 

I usually try not to mind what they say. They’ve always said bullshit comments like that, But I keep up, it’s just that sometimes it’s so, so frustrating; I know their arguments are craps but I never know how to explain it to them, so it ends up being a long one hour long conversation about giving me tips I already tried and then them getting angry at me because I don’t want to believe their solutions work (which is in itself a much more complicated issue that what they say themselves)

Yesterday I was especially upset because like it was super late at night and it seriously came out of nowhere. At least usually when they say crap I know what they’ll say and do and I prepare myself psychologically for that, I seriously didn’t expect any talks on my writtings, ever, especially from people who never cared. 

But honestly? Thank you so. So much for your kind words. I honestly truly appreciate and I’m really touched. Just the fact I’m not the only one pissed at my parents’ attitudes is actually quite comforting, thank you so mcuh. 

When it comes to my writting, it’ll get better with time, at least I want to believe so, and eventually even with my current frustration, I’ll eventually manage to work on it. But my parents’ lecture was uncalled for and really frustrated me.

Thank you so, so much for your kind words, I’m seriously, so so touched. And even if you sliightly made me cry over how sweet you are you also brought me to smile for a while now (seriously those last sentences, you know how to get to me so well).

Thank you! Thank you so, so much.

I hope you’ll have a good day and take care