Finally got the chance to read the latest chapter of Light of All Lights and it was amazing as expected and as always. It was a bit more painful and angsty because first, the heartbreaking (which that word is an understatement because jfc the way you handle action through devastating character study is just, I can’t even) look in Killian’s memories, and because of his and Emma’s insecurities coming to the surface more, but again you handled these topics and themes with respect and delicacy. 1/8

As painful as Killian’s past was, it was handled with care and not just done for shock value and was also helped by the fact that Emma’s reactions reflected the feelings of the reader so it wasn’t just laid out, but given the promise of sympathy and understanding and retribution, if that makes sense? And then even as frustrating as seeing Killian’s, and Emma’s, misunderstandings and insecurities become more prominent, there’s never a doubt about the pure intention and well-meaning behind it. 2/8

I’m always just so struck by how they’re not mean to each other?? I loved how you handled Killian’s first time and how affectionate they were afterward (and Emma praising him and his genuine gratitude once again), and how he’s also just becoming bolder in his actions, and how he comforts her as well?? And Emma understanding why he started panicking and the tenderness with which that bit was handled, like I felt his anxiety but also knew it would serve a purpose and be written with such care. 3/8

Lol idk if any of this is making sense and I’m probably repeating myself but damn. I really liked how you mix parallels and contradictions too. Like when Emma was describing how people, like her parents, are often just automatically scared of her, it reminded me of Killian’s initial reaction to her and his own learned skittishness, but then there’s also the fact that he doesn’t actually fear her and is constantly in awe of her, which you realize just how much Emma must find to be refreshing. 4/8

So like, you have Emma being this all-powerful figure that should scare Killian but doesn’t, and then you have Killian who because of his trauma should look upon Emma with absolute fear but doesn’t. And your comparison to Paris and Troy and Helen (and the swan reference???) was genius in how it was gradually revealed. I also loved the canon callbacks (like his line about lingering wounds) and how you still gave Killian that bit of edge in regards to wanting vengeance even just a little bit. 5/8

I also appreciate how realistic Killian’s reaction to the torture of the crew is. He’s not against it out of some principled goodness; he doesn’t think Emma is evil for doing it, he actually likes that they’re getting justice, and that you point out how he’s not unfamiliar w/ violence, while also just not wanting to deal with that part of his life anymore and not wanting Emma to deal with it either. So he’s against the torture to a degree but not bc of the typical ‘It’s Not Right’ argument. 6/8

And then… and THEN, how you framed the chapter around Emma wanting to make him genuinely smile like he did in his memory, and then HE DOES by the end??? And he actually initiates the kiss??? BYE. That was SO GOOD. I love seeing him evolve into being more confident while also just wanting to /do/ things for her, like clean the beach. I just, damn this fic is so good, and even when it’s angsty and heartbreaking as hell, it’s not done cheaply or for ~drama, it’s all character based. 7/8

Like it’s literally just 2 people in a castle on a deserted island and I’m riveted. This chapter was 19k but it still felt short lol. It didn’t drag along and you take time with the stuff that requires that time so it just felt right. I can’t wait for the next update, especially knowing that you won’t throw either one of them under the bus for the sake of plot because they ARE the plot. Love this fic, and love that /you/ love it so much too. This is the treatment these characters deserve. 8/8

Again. I’m just. I don’t even know. I just sat here rereading this over and over all happily teary eyes because this is amazing Genelle omg.

Like all the things I put in with care and deliberation you GOT, you understood, you completely received it the way I intended it. Like the Paris/Helen thing was exactly what I was posting about absolutely loving and being so happy about as a writer even if it was just for me, and YOU TOTALLY GOT IT.

And the smile at the end originally had a line that called back to Emma’s thoughts on the ship but since it was KJ’s POV it didn’t work or make sense and I didn’t want her to express it in dialogue because it would have been suspicious to Killian, so I was worried it was too subtle and it wouldn’t come across BUT YOU TOTALLY SAW IT ANYWAY.

Like ugh. This just makes me so fucking happy and just overwhelmed with gratitude at the care and attention YOU take to reading it and appreciating it and what I’m trying to do and just UGH it makes me want to shake things and just like do weird little giddy dances of excitement.

Like of course here has to be drama and misunderstandings because of the characters insecurities and fears but that I am accomplishing my goals of not falling into the “miscommunication for the sake of miscommunication” and showing WHY they are reacting this way and the underlying reasons that relate to their characters is just so damn validating and just makes me want to weep from being understood so thoroughly.

Like I’m going to be honest and say sometimes I feel silly putting so much of these little parallels and deliberate uses of like “Hook” when he talks about himself alone vs “Killian” when he thinks about himself in Emma’s presence, and just worrying about how something I’m calling back to subtlety from Ch1 will still register in Ch3 because I’ve been building to it along the way, or how while he is totally this sweet little muffin he does still have darkness because how could he NOT living the way he did, and that his sweetness is less about him being 100% a good person all the time, morally pure, and is more a learned defense mechanism to prevent further abuse and just genuine gratitude for times he isn’t treated like shit, and because he learned it was better to be that way and express those things and he never learned how to be shady or coy or non-transparent because he never had to the opportunity to learn those skills because his life is completely about being forced to BE vulnerable, while Emma's the opposite, and seeing people remember and get it and know is just amazing.

It’s absolutely why I keep doing this. Despite fandom nonsense and drama, despite saltiness over the show, I will keep doing THIS because this fandom is incredible about reading and receiving and producing amazing things. And it just absolutely blows me away.