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magniloquent-raven · 4 years

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finished your buckleway prompt!! hope u like it 💕💕

modern AU + werewolf AU, enjoy

posted on ao3

Heather’s been dancing around asking Robin out for the past three weeks. Billy has probably had enough of her flip-flopping between waxing poetic and bemoaning how complicated dating humans gets.

Especially since he had ended up in a storage closet with Steve on his knees a whole thirty minutes after they met, and they’d been fucking anywhere and everywhere ever since. She’s getting sick of smelling salt and sex and Steve all over their apartment, but they’ve showed no signs of slowing down. Billy’s smug as hell about it too. He loves having Steve’s scent all over their living space, the disgusting sap.

Of course, he’s still being Billy about the situation, but at least he was getting some action in between bouts of what if he leaves me when he finds out angst.

Whereas Heather is burning through more AAA batteries than she can afford to. Constantly plagued with thoughts of leaving lipstick mark up Robin’s neck, teeth on her collarbone, what that husky voice would sound like wrecked and breathy in her ear.

It’s becoming a problem.

And the closer they get to the full moon the harder it is to be around Robin. The more she wants to just throw caution to the wind, bury her face in Robin’s cleavage and ride her thigh into oblivion.

But she can’t just do that, because they like the same shitty indie bands, and Robin’s rants about the film industry are the highlight of her day, and her laugh makes Heather’s heart do backflips, and…

She’s human.

Heather can’t just jump her and run, because she’s head over fucking heels for this girl, but she has no idea how Robin would react to the werewolf revelation, so… She’s stuck.

As much as Billy pokes fun at her, and lords his relationship with Steve over her, they both know he’s being just as much of an idiot as she is. The wolf isn’t something you can hide from a partner, not for long. Billy’s playing a dangerous game.

Then again, that’s kind of his thing.

Point is, by the time the full moon comes around they’re both miserable. Billy’s been moping around their apartment all day because he had to make a lame-ass excuse to Steve about why they couldn't see each other today. He’s been looking like a lost pup for hours because Steve pouted a little over Facetime.

Meanwhile Heather’s been binging shitty rom-coms on Netflix all day, wrapped around a sweater she stole from Robin last week. It barely smells like her anymore, but it’s all she’s got.

They’re not at their best.

The itch that comes in late afternoon, when the sun starts to make its way down the horizon, is almost a relief. It might not be pleasant but at least it’s a respite from being bored and lonely.

Around dusk they head out.

Putting on a pair of running shoes and shorts pretty much covers for the fact that two grown adults sprinting into the woods at night is suspicious as hell. Hopefully. No one’s questioned them yet, anyways.

Probably helps that they run on regular days too.

Heather stops at the tree-line and sniffs the air. Everything’s sharper than it usually would be. The earth, the clean, dewy scent of wet leaves, Billy next to her, a solid, warm presence, smelling like home, pack, friend, musky and comforting under the chemical scent of all the products he slathers on.

The wind picks up.

She sniffs again.

Kali and her pack are already here. Figures. They’re always eager to let loose, full moon or not. They get especially rowdy this time of the month.

Billy whoops, taking off into the woods with a grin. He must smell them too.

She runs after him, the wind in her hair, cool air needling some colour into her cheeks. It’s exactly what she needed after the day she had. Hell, the week she’s had.

Robin is, for the first time in weeks, not at the forefront of her mind. There’s nothing but the pull of the moon, the rush of adrenaline that comes with it. The thrill of the hunt-to-be.

She won’t be chasing anything but rabbits and her friends, but the buzz is the same. Without the crushing guilt afterwards.

“Always late to the party,” Kali chides when Heather and Billy crash through the underbrush into view. She’s standing in the middle of a clearing, hands on her hips and chin tilted like she owns the place. But her smile is warm, tone teasing.

Her pack surrounds her, grinning, as always, toeing the line between feral and friendly. If Billy wasn’t so relaxed around them Heather would be on edge. They’ve always made her a little uncomfortable.

Billy blames her upper-middle-class suburban upbringing, and...well, he’s not wrong.

They embrace their wolves a little too fully, every day of the year, always just a little lupine. All of them except Kali, who stays too human, even when shifted.

Dottie breaks from the group first, leaping forward and crashing into Billy. She’s tiny, werewolf strength be damned, and he barely moves when she hits, just wraps his arms around her to swing her around while she giggles.

“You stink, Spots,” Billy says when he puts her down. “When’re you gonna stop puttin’ that shit in your hair?”

“When it stops bugging you,” she snickers.

Funshine is next, slower about moving forward, more deliberate about his hug. Dottie re-attaches herself to Billy, trying to wrap her arms around both of them. It devolves into a cluster of the six of them, all scenting each other, hands in each other's hair, arms wrapped around waists, contentment rolling off them in waves.

Heather basks in it for a second, the feeling of pack. It’s soothing, like sunshine warming her face, like a tight hug from someone you love.

It makes the change easier when it hits, moments later. It’s not the agony it was when she was alone.

It still hurts. When there’s hair sprouting like needles pushing through her skin, gums bruising as her canines turn to fangs, of course there’s pain, but the ache is dulled.

She used to hate this part. The slipping away. Changing places with the wolf inside her and feeling it happen. It felt like being torn away and locked up in her own head. She fought against it every time.

It wasn’t until she met Kali that she realized— was taught— that fighting her wolf only makes it worse. She learned to relinquish control instead of having it taken from her. To sink into her own subconscious like a warm bath, relax into it and float away. Become the wolf.

She hits the ground panting.

Claws dig into the dirt. Running shoes get kicked off. They land somewhere in the underbrush. She can sniff them out later, they aren’t a priority right now.

A whine escapes her, pressure building at the base of her skull as the moon rises.

And then it bursts. Relief in technicolour.

She’s free.

Billy is beside her, breathing hard, a guttural growl ripping from his throat. Pungent, sour distress rolls off him in waves, hits Heather’s nose like a physical blow.

He’s always had trouble relinquishing control.

She nudges his arm. Rubs their shoulders together. Kali joins them, lays a hand on his back.

He relaxes eventually, agonizing minutes later, his scent softening back to friend. Pack. Good.

Around them Kali’s pack howls, pleased. Two of them take off, chasing each other through the trees, another follows, Heather listens to their footsteps grow fainter.

Then the wind shifts and brings with it a new scent.

Familiar. Sweet, smoky. Hints of spice. Unmistakably human.

It’s faint. Far enough away that she can’t hear the heartbeat that should accompany it.

But she’d recognize that scent anywhere.

Mate.

Her wolf howls, louder than it's ever been, drowning out what’s left of Heather and her awareness slips away.

The sun wakes her.

She blinks, eyes gummy, vision blurry from sleep, spotty as she adjusts to the light.

Something beneath her shifts.

Heather stiffens.

The sound of the woods around her she expected, the scent of dried sweat on her skin, dirt under her nails. But she also expected to hear her pack’s heartbeats, smell Billy nearby, the pack blending into an overwhelming but comforting blanket of warmth around her.

There’s only one heartbeat, pounding loud and fast against her ear. One scent. Earthy. Spiced.

And afraid.

Heather pushes back, scrambling away from the warm body under her, anxiety tying her stomach in knots.

“Robin!?” she squeaks, croaky from sleep, from the change.

“What the fuck,” is all Robin manages to say. She’s shaking, wide-eyed. “Heather, what— what the fuck!”

This is...bad. Very bad.

Heather can’t do much more than gape at Robin, her brain still trying to catch up to what she’s seeing.

She tries to remember what even happened last night but all she gets are flashes. The turn. Kali’s pack howling around her. The scent of smoke and spice on the wind, of—

Oh. Oh.

She’s always been a little overwhelmed by how Robin makes her feel. Felt it immediately. That connection. A desire to know her, get close to her, keep her.

It terrified her. That Robin is human, that she felt so strongly about someone she barely knew.

That she didn’t quite know why.

Well, she knows now. And somehow the truth is more intimidating.

Of course, her wolf doesn’t care about the risks. Didn’t care, when she sprinted through the woods to find Robin. To be near her.

She remembers bits and pieces. Robin’s quiet gasp when Heather leapt into view. The fierce protectiveness she felt when she smelled Robin’s fear.

Of course, Robin was afraid of her, so getting up close and personal trying to comfort her really didn’t help. Not that she realized that at the time.

She really should be worried about bigger things right now, but embarrassment colours her cheeks anyways.

Dumbass wolf.

Robin’s breathing is starting to sound labored, panic gripping her tighter the longer Heather is silent.

“Heather?” Robin says quietly, tentatively, eyeing her cautiously.

“Um…good morning?” she responds, grimacing as she does. It’s getting hard to look Robin in the eye.

“Really?” Robin laughs, breathlessly and without humor. “Really? Because I was supposed to be waking up in my bed right about now, and instead I spent the night here, not sleeping because I blind fucking terror isn’t a great sedative.”

“Robin, I—” Heather opens and closes her mouth a few times, still at a loss for words. “I’m—I’m sorry. Just— what were you even doing out here?” she groans, burying her face in her hands.

“Full moon ritual,” Robin snaps, “You know, meditating on— no, you know what,” she shakes her head vigorously, bringing up a hand to gesture at Heather, “I’m not the one who has some fucking explaining to do. What the hell, Heather?”

“I thought the whole,” Heather waves a hand, “Hairy and growling on a full moon...thing, was pretty self-explanatory,” she says sheepishly.

“You know what I’m talking about. Don’t play dumb, you’re no good at it.”

Heather blinks. Looks up at Robin, her flushed cheeks and the indignant downturn of her mouth. Despite the circumstances, Heather’s heart flutters.

She sighs. “Alright.” Robin raises an expectant eyebrow when Heather pauses to collect her thoughts. “We spend full moons out here to be away from people. Running on basic instinct around humans generally doesn’t end well.”

“Yeah, no shit. So why am I still alive?”

“I…”

There’s no way of explaining this and keeping her and Robin’s friendship intact. Even if the werewolf thing doesn’t put her off, you never drop the mate revelation on someone you’re not even dating.

Hell, Heather’s still trying to wrap her head around it. She can only imagine how it would sound to Robin.

“Just tell me,” Robin’s pulse is skyrocketing again, and she’s worrying her shirt sleeve between her fingers. The impassive look on her face is obviously fake, she can’t quite keep herself from chewing the inside of her cheek.

Heather watches Robin’s jaw work until she smells blood. “Stop that.” She lifts a finger to poke the side of Robin’s face, but Robin tenses. Minutely. Only for a second.

But long enough.

Heather drops her hand.

“I would never hurt you,” she says softly. “I couldn’t.” Robin blinks at her, and opens her mouth like she’s going to speak but no words come out, so Heather continues.

“When I turned last night, I— I know how this sounds but— I could smell you. You smelled like home. Like… well, the point is, I just… had to find you. The details are a little sketchy, I don’t remember much besides needing to be near you. But that was all it was, Robin. Even shifted I knew you. Knew not to hurt you.”

Robin’s heartbeat hasn’t slowed. Her expression is still shell-shocked, almost more than before. Heather’s heart sinks.

Her eyes fall, unbidden, to Robin’s chest. The visible pulse under her skin. “You’re still afraid.”

“I—” Robin clutches the front of her shirt reflexively, hand over her pounding heart, and then frowns. “You can hear it,” she says, accusing, and Heather recoils.

“I’m sorry! I can’t help it.”

“Heather….” Robin groans “This whole time you could hear my heartbeat?! And smell my— my pheromones, or whatever?” She buries her face in her hands. The tips of her ears are pink.

“It’s a werewolf thing! I—” Heather stops, face burning. There’s nothing she can say to make it better. No one likes knowing that someone can smell how long it’s been since you washed your hair, or how well you washed your hands, or exactly what you’ve been binge eating at 3am. It’s invasive. Took Heather ages to get used to it after she was bitten.

In fact, it still makes her uncomfortable. Enough that she tries to ignore what she’s smelling and hearing as much as possible, for the sake of people’s privacy. And her sanity. The walls of her and Billy’s apartment are very thin.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s weird,” Heather says quietly.

“Yeah. It is,” Robin mutters, muffled by her palms. She peeks through her fingers before dropping her hands into her lap. “Look, just… give me some time, okay? I need a nap. And a shower. And…” She sighs. Tugs on a lock of her hair. “Just give me a couple days. Please.”

Heather blinks back tears. She knows what Robin is asking for is reasonable. It’s better than how she could have reacted. But it still hurts, and a part of her that wonders if a couple days are going to turn into weeks. Months. If she’s just being polite and, in fact, plans on ghosting Heather the second she’s out of sight.

“Okay.”

Robin opens the door to her apartment with shaking fingers. There’s so much on her mind, though her thoughts are muddled by sleep-deprivation, foggy and unfocused.

Heather, hair loose and wild, eyes shining in the moonlight and fixed on Robin. She stopped Robin’s heart even before the revelation that there was something different about her. In the gloom it was hard to tell at first, but details started to stick out. Her eyes were glassy. Fingernails too sharp, jagged and curled into claws. She was barefoot, her posture was all wrong. Her hair brushed aside as she moved and revealed pointed ears, covered in thick fur.

And once Robin started to panic…

Heather’s reaction made no sense.

She has a lot to think about.

Like how devastated Heather looked when Robin told her she needed some space.

“Fuck,” Robin mutters, shutting the door behind her. Maybe a little too forcefully.

“Robin?!” Steve shouts from the next room. Before she can respond he comes skidding down the hallway and barrels into her. “Where have you been?” he demands, too loud and right in her ear.

He pulls back, hands on her shoulders and gives her an appraising look.

“And why are there leaves in your hair?” He pauses, and his eyes widen, full of concern. “Robin, are you alright?”

She struggles to come up with an answer that won’t sound like a blatant lie. And besides the fact that he probably wouldn’t believe her anyways, the whole werewolf thing isn’t her secret to tell.

“I. Um. I’m fine. Ran into Heather.”

You’d think growing up queer in a small town would’ve made her a better liar.

Steve raises his eyebrows. “Then why do you look miserable.”

“It’s…” she sighs, “Ask me tomorrow. Right now I need sleep.”

He frowns. Hard. Frowns with his whole body. But he nods anyway, albeit reluctantly. “I’m late for work,” he says, glancing at the clock on the wall like it’s personally responsible for his constant tardiness. “But I’ll call in sick if you want me to stay. No questions asked.”

That coaxes a smile out of her. His kindness still catches her off guard sometimes. Even after he moved to California with her when she got into uni out here. After she came out to him and he made her laugh, despite how terrified she was. After he got her through the horror of working at Scoops Ahoy.

She steps away from the door, clearing the way for him. “You don’t have any sick days left, dingus. I’ll be okay. Pretty sure I know how to take a nap without supervision.”

“Alright.” he eyes her carefully, “But text me if you need anything. I mean it.”

She nods, and tries to school her expression into something encouraging. He’s going to worry no matter what she does but she can at least try.

It doesn’t work, predictably. He leaves their apartment with a crease between his eyebrows and a lingering look at Robin before he closes the door.

“Fuck,” she mutters again.

Getting herself showered and into PJs takes longer than she’d like. There are so many leaves tangled in her hair she considers just shaving her head so she can go to sleep, and she keeps drifting off, lulled into a stupor by the hot water.

But once she’s comfortably buried under a mound of blankets, clean, warm, and so, so tired, she just lays there, awake.

She keeps replaying her and Heather’s conversation in her head, telling herself she should have reacted better, been better, not run off because...

See, the werewolf thing she probably could have handled. It’s ridiculous, and so fucking out there, but Heather’s still Heather. When she isn’t all wolfy anyway. And even that was weird but not a dealbreaker. She didn’t hurt Robin, just scared the piss out of her.

All Robin needed was to calm down a little to wrap her brain around it.

What she can’t handle is the fact that Heather, because of her fucking werewolf senses, most definitely knows exactly how attractive Robin finds her. Which is fucking mortifying.

Heather never struck Robin as the type to dance around a mutual attraction, so, clearly, it isn’t mutual, and Robin’s just been drooling over a girl who doesn’t want her. Again.

She needs a few days to lick her wounds.

Preferably starting with a goddamn nap, but sleep still eludes her.

She tosses and turns and tries not to think about sad, dark eyes. About Heather’s reassurances. I would never hurt you and You smelled like home, because what the fuck does that mean.

About Heather’s body curled around hers.

Needless to say, the countless times Robin imagined spending a night under Heather the context was very different, and the aftermath…

Robin groans into her pillow.

It takes her hours to fall asleep.

Two days later Steve has been reassured, Robin has gotten plenty of sleep, and she decides it’s time to stop moping.

Her decision to finally put pants on and leave her apartment is made only partially because she has to go to work. Really, she got to this point mostly on her own, promise.

She even sort of plans to talk to Heather today.

What she didn’t plan on was Billy Hargrove ambushing her before her shift.

She’s just barely tied her apron on when he comes storming in. The cafe isn’t even open yet.

“What. The fuck. Did you do,” he snarls, slamming his hands on the counter when he gets close enough, leaning forward to glare at her.

“Hargrove, it’s too damn early for this, what are you—”

“Heather, dumbass. Tell me what you did to her.” It’s not a question, it’s a demand. There’s a coldness in his expression she’s never seen before.

Granted, she’s only ever hung out with him when Steve is around.

The way his shoulders tense, like he’s ready for a fight, almost scares her, but she’s too busy getting angry at his belligerence.

“Fuck you. I didn’t do anything—”

“Don’t lie to me.”

Something clicks into place.

“Oh,” Robin narrows her eyes, “You’re one too, aren’t you.”

Billy growls, a little more wolf than human. “Yeah, you got a problem with that? That what this is about?”

“No, oh my god.”

“Then tell me why Heather’s been a fucking wreck since the full moon. She said you found out about her, and that’s all I can get out of her.”

“I… don’t know?” Robin’s stomach flips, and clenches painfully. She tugs on a lock of her hair. “I asked her for a bit of space, that’s it. I was going to text her today.”

“You better.”

“Alright, calm down, Mr. Macho,” Robin says flatly. God, he’s just the fucking most. She’d almost be able to appreciate how much he cares about Heather, if his wrath wasn’t currently focused on her.

He glowers a bit longer before retreating. Not even a goodbye, he just storms off.

Asshole.

He’s right though, she needs to text Heather. Who’s been just as miserable as Robin, apparently.

And hasn’t told her best friend why.

That bit of information niggles at her. All through her shift it lingers in the back of her brain, hanging back but always there, like the buzzing of an insect she can’t find.

By lunchtime it’s gotten so distracting that she’s fucked up five orders and dumped two drinks on her coworker.

Thankfully she’s done at noon, and her now very annoyed coworker tells her to piss off the second her shift is over.

She hasn’t texted Heather yet.

Every time she pulls her phone out she draws a blank. Has no idea what to say. “Hey, I’m done moping, sorry I hurt your feelings” doesn't seem to cut it.

She stares at her phone for fifteen minutes, motionless and completely at a loss, then sighs and tosses it on the passenger seat of her car.

Before she has time to question whether it’s a good idea or not, she pulls out of the parking lot and heads to Heather’s apartment.

It’s only a ten minute drive, but it’s plenty of time to second guess herself. And third guess. And fourth.

But she’s here, she’s doing this. She’s sweating bullets, but it’s happening.

Two flights of stairs later she’s staring at Heather’s front door, fist poised to knock, and not moving a muscle.

She takes a step back in surprise when the door swings open suddenly.

Robin blinks.

Heather’s standing in the doorway, hair loose and frizzy, deep purple shadows under her eyes. It looks like she hasn’t slept in days.

Her mouth is hanging open a little, and she’s staring.

“Uh. Hi,” Robin says. “I… can I come in?”

“Yes. Yeah, of course,” Heather fumbles, and runs a hand through her hair as she steps aside to let Robin in.

They stand in the front hall awkwardly after the door shuts behind them, shooting each other nervous glances but unsure what to say.

“I—” Robin pauses. Looks down. “Is that my sweater?”

Heather’s eyes widen, and she grasps the hem of it nervously. “Um. Yeah. Sorry, I can—” She starts to pull it off but Robin reaches out to stop her.

“Don’t.” She wraps her fingers around Heather’s wrist. “It looks good on you.”

“...Oh.” Heather’s lips curl in a pleased smile that sparks something in Robin’s chest.

“I was being an idiot,” Robin says quickly. Her heart is starting to pound, and she catches Heather glancing down curiously. “I—I just assumed that—” She closes her eyes briefly, frustrated. It’s no less difficult to put into words in person. “Look, you know I’m into you, right?”

Heather startles, eyes going wide. “What?!”

“You…” Robin gapes at her, “You didn’t know? I thought— I mean, all those things you said about… needing to find me. During the full moon. I— you got my hopes up but then…Look, you can hear heartbeats and shit! How did you not know?!”

“I...” Heather grimaces briefly, “It’s not an exact science, okay? I mean, I hoped you were, but you’re human, Robin,” she folds her arms across her chest, hugging herself, “I was more focused on that.”

Robin furrows her brow. “What? Why?”

“Seriously? Because all I did was cuddle a little too aggressively and I scared the shit out of you,” her voice cracks and her eyes start to look watery, “You’re my mate, Robin, I’m bound to you for life! And I had no idea if you’d ever want to see me again!” She stops suddenly, bites her lip as tears slip down her cheeks.

“Oh.”

Robin’s feeling a little like she’s been conked on the head. Dazed. Her brain trying to catch up with what’s going on.

She’s known Heather less than a month and apparently they’re already werewolf married, or whatever the hell mate means.

It’s slightly terrifying, but…

“Heather, look at me.”

She does. Looks up at Robin with red-rimmed eyes, and Robin’s whole chest contracts.

Without really thinking she leans down, and presses her mouth to Heather’s. It’s brief, chaste, but still makes her stomach flip and warms her from head to toe.

When she pulls back Heather sways forward, unbalanced for a moment, her eyelashes fluttering.

“I want to give this a shot, Heather. I… I’m sorry I freaked out, but I swear, I want this. You. All of you.”

Heather grins in response, bright and dazzling. It lights up her whole face, and her eyes start to well up again. Seemingly at a loss for words she instead chooses to launch herself forward, colliding with Robin as she wraps her arms around her and crashes their lips together again.

Robin staggers back a few paces but regains her balance enough to respond in kind, smiling against Heather’s mouth.

She feels right, wrapped around Robin, feels safe. Like home.

#robin buckley #heather holloway #bucklway #bucklway fic #robin x heather #robin buckley x heather holloway #a raven's writing desk

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spaceorphan18 · 6 years

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Finding Kurt Hummel: Previously Unaired Christmas

Masterpost

5x08: Previously Unaired Christmas

Look - it’s no secret that I am not a fan of this episode. It still makes my stomach twist a little for reasons that I can’t entirely articulate (and I suspect are far more personal than any real issue the episode presents). I know people are split on either loving this episode or hating this episode - maybe doing this will help me figure out what’s really going on.

I, personally, have two issues with the whole thing. (The second one I’ll explain within the narrative of the episode.) The first is that it does kind of feel like an FU to pretty much everyone. I don’t necessarily think it’s to the fans explicitly (though the stuff with Kurt kinda feels like that), but in general, I’m guessing they were forced into a holiday episode that they didn’t really want to do by the network. Because more so, the nastiness towards Christmas feels like that.

I also have to wonder if Cory’s passing plays a small part. I mean - this is cracky Glee - it’s been cracky Glee for a while now. We just had an episode about puppets, twerking, and dressing up in bizarre Lady Gaga outfits. The show has been kind of off the rails for most of season 5, and this episode almost feels like the climax of that (after the break - things feel a little more...normal?)

Anyway - I don’t know exactly how we ended up here - but I kind of wish that Glee didn’t end it’s Christmas run on a, well, whatever this note is.

Oh! And one last thing. At this point - season six was not shortened. I wonder if they had another, more heartfelt, Christmas episode idea for their final one. Hmmm.

What If

We open with Jane Lynch talking about how this was a secret hidden away episode. And I’m bringing it up because this whole set up seemed to confuse everyone. No - this was most definitely not a lost episode, nor do I think it’s any more or less controversial than anything else they did on the show. (I do think the writers didn’t give a flying fuck - and were warning about that...)

However, this whole intro does seem to make things confusing. Yes - it’s set in season 4. Yes - I’ll bet they did, at some point, come up with the Rough Trade Santa thing the previous year, and just discarded it until now. However, shout out to @ckerouac for bringing up the point that -- if Glee wanted to go cracky, they could have gone so much further. I mean if you’re going to go AU - why not do something entirely wacky. They kind of did in Glee, Actually with Artie’s fantasy. So, I’m kind of in agreement. Why bring it back to season 4 (other than you have newbies you have to deal with). Why not shoot it into the future, or just switch everyone’s bodies again. Glee can go that extra mile, why not? Who knows.

Meanwhile - I need to state that this did not happen in the main timeline. It could have (sort of - there are so many continuity errors that it hurts my head). But it did not. This is completely AU. And really, I could skip it if I really wanted to. I’m going through it just the same because a) for completeness sake - it’d bother me if I didn’t, b) there are some interesting Kurt-meta points that I think are worth bringing up.

That long winded, probably unnecessary preamble aside - here we go.

Grandma Moses

So. We open on the New York side with Santana crashing at the loft, buying Kurt weird doll heads and tickets to Dildo island. (Are we being edgy yet - the writers ask? Just you wait ;)) Okay, so this scene kind of sets up what the whole New York act is supposed to be about. It seems they want to address two specific things about Kurt (that I have at least seen in criticisms, and I’m pretty sure the writers did, too) -- a) That he didn’t have enough of a “normal teenage reaction” to his break up with Blaine and b) that Kurt is an old grandma, desexualized gay.

Well. Glee being in its FU mode is going to rectify that - just not in the way that’s going to satisfy anyone (I shouldn’t generalize - I know there are people who love this episode, my regards).

And - in a FWIW thought, Kurt is an old grandma. He always has been. That’s just part of the make up of the character.

The point, however, of Santana’s little monologue of exposition here is to set the stage for what’s going to happen in the rest of the episode. It reminds me of the Tattooo Guy in The End of Twerk - telling Kurt that if he’s going to go nuts, he has to go all out.

[2 asides - 1. Santana is also getting rewritten break up stuff (I’m guessing in response to criticism), as they seem to retcon a ton about the Brittana break up. 2. This whole story seems to be a commentary about Kurt specifically, and not really about Blaine? Blaine seems to be fine this entire episode - though he’s barely shown because he’s off screen with some weird yule log obsession ;)]

Meanwhile - Rachel has gotten them all jobs as elves at the mall. Which - I suppose makes sense. Oh! And weirdly enough - there’s no discussion from Rachel about her own break up with Finn (which makes sense because of Cory), or about Brody, or Cassie, or any of the stuff that happened to Rachel in season 4. Weird, right? Nah, she’s just a backdrop to the Kurt and Santana stuff. I will say - Rachel saying that she’ll be the best Jewish Elf ever made me laugh.

Bad Santa

Ah, the one highlight of the episode - Chris Kurt in that elf costume. It was like he was born to play an elf. Lol

Anyway - they get to the mall, and Santa’s late, and drunk. (Not really here for bad santa - but his line about them in an ‘equity card’ mindset had me laughing.) So, of course Rachel takes charge and they try to calm the audience with Here Comes Santa Claus. It’s -- perfectly fine. In general, I find the music of the episode, with the exception of Love Child, somewhat uninspired. Oh, right, this is a musical show, we have to have music. Here’s a Christmas song.

Of course, at the end, the kids aren’t charmed - they throw crap at them. Yeah - we totally didn’t see this happen in season 2.

I have read some meta about how Kurt, Rachel, and Santana are stand-ins for the writers here -- that whatever they do, it’s gonna get crap thrown at them. (The thought is echoed at the end, too) Oh! I have lots of thoughts on this, but I should probably save it for another post, cause it’s not really about Kurt.

So -- the next day? Later that day? Santana goes and takes a bath...in the loft? I have no idea what the time line is. I haven’t watched the Lima side of this episode since it aired. Anyway, Kurt and Rachel call her up and beg her to help them. Santana gives another obligatory joke about Kurt being an old grandma - born to play Mrs. Claus. (Um, Santana - I think we’ve established that Kurt was born to be that Elf.)

Oh - this still says so much....

Santana arrives as Mrs. Claus and proceeds to be a bitch to little people under ten. Kurt and Rachel rightfully look horrified. Sorry. I don’t like this sequence. It’s mean spirited and awful. I don’t think it’s funny when adults are mean to innocent kids. Moving on...

And....then we have the arrival of “Sexy Santa” Cody. (Dude - this guy is totally skeevy to me -- who arrives at a mall without a shirt? But whatever) And the rest of this plot line gets played out like half baked smutty fanfiction.

I will say this -- I do think all of this is completely in character for Kurt. Remember Ricky Martin in season 3? This is essentially the same reaction from Kurt. Kurt finds lots of guys attractive -- and he is allowed to react to it. (And we’re in cracky mode - this is totally played up for laughs, in the same way it was when Ricky Martin guest starred.)

This is also not one of my issues with the episode.

Anyway - Cody wants to “get to know” his elves before he helps them. Ew. Kurt those abs are clouding your judgment, buddy.

That Godawful Chipmunk Song

Santana once again reminds Kurt that he’s a stick in the mud and convinces him to spike his own eggnog. And then Cody arrives. Again. Shirtless. **rolls eyes** And obviously scoping out the place so he can rob it. Maybe that’s part of the reason I can’t really get on board with Kurt hooking up with him. Cause it’s obvious that this guy is gross and going to be bad. Yuck.

Anyway, we all know what a light weight Kurt is - and within a few sips of cooking sherry and eggnog, he’s all flirty mcdrunk pants.

So - this whole Chipmunk thing - in bulletted form because my brain is currently working better that way...

I, personally, think this song is dumb. Sorry.

It creates this super weird adult/kid vibe between Cody and the loftmates, which I find uncomfortable.

Cody is obviously playing this all up because he’s going to rob them - which makes his actions later really awful.

Trashed Kurt with anyone else (especially Blaine, but anyone really) would have been hilarious in just about any other context.

Chris, obviously, had a lot of fun filming this - so I’ll let him have that.

The point where SO goes on her diatribe - so feel free to skip

Oh, where to start.

1. Cody is taking advantage of a incredibly drunk, barely legal teenager in order steal from him. I don’t think the writers put a whole lot of thought into it -- other than saying ‘hey, we can make Kurt a sexual creature’, but I do think it was kind of in bad taste.

2. I wasn’t personally offended by it - but there were a lot of people who were (especially when it gets to the being tied up, and Kurt telling Cody no), and a lot of people telling them to get over it because it was cracky glee. The whole hoopla over that in fandom has always left a bad taste in my mouth.

3. Gross Cody stuff aside, no I don’t think this is out of character for Kurt. Kurt’s in a bad place about breaking up with Blaine -- and after being pushed by Santana hard enough, having enough alcohol in him, and being presented with the opportunity, Kurt’s trying to get out of his shell a bit and enjoy himself. He’s perfectly right to do so, and I do think it makes sense that someone going through a hardship like a rough break up with a first love would try something new -- especially being a first time college student with no limitations.

4. What about “you matter” and baby penguin Kurt? Well - first of all, I don’t think Kurt has ever been a baby penguin, and I’m going to spend a lot of the second half of season 5 talking about Kurt being very much a sexual being. I also think that Kurt does and will always be particular about sex -- again, the writers had to get Kurt incredibly drunk and in a very specific situation for this to even present itself. I don’t think it’s that Kurt can’t (or won’t) have casual sex, but more so that it means more to him when it’s with someone he loves. Had this not been a throwaway episode intent on being offensive and cracky, that thought might have been explored.

5. It cracks me up that they kind of even half-assed Kurt being a sexual being. Sure, Cody’s half naked in-between Kurt’s legs. It’s more of a slight of hand, though. The kissing is a) cut away from very quickly, and b) barely kissing (the first part when Santana and Rachel come in isn’t really even kissing - it’s like stage kissing, where you kiss their cheek, it looks like making out, but it’s not). The whole thing looks way more provocative than it really is.

6. I do think it’s unfortunate that they didn’t let Kurt be this provocative and flirty (and handsy) with anyone else on the show. I do think Kurt has hotter moments (with Blaine - in various episodes, I can name them for you if you like). But the whole being overtly sexual and gay and somewhat naked is limited throughout the show (this goes for Brittana, too, for that matter, and even the Quinn/Santana hook up - they were mostly covered and a good four feet from each other on that bed).

6B. As an aside, though -- Glee doesn’t do overtly sexual very often, and nearly every time they do it’s for comedy. It makes me wonder if there was some kind of limitations in general. I mean, Finchel never got a mostly naked sex scene either - though Blaine and Brittany did -- for comedy.

7. I do think there’s an interesting story about season 4 Kurt dealing with his break up -- which would have included more intimate moments with Adam, and/or other people. But that wasn’t the story they chose.

7B. I do think, ultimately, this was the writers saying - well we could have written that story - but we prefer the one we are doing. I think it’s in part of the whole FU thing they were going for. I mean, even for people who wanted to see Kurt get more action -- he’s going to get punished for it in a sec, so even that feels like a bit of an FU.

Moving on... the next morning Santana and Rachel wake up to find that they’ve been robbed and Kurt is tied up.

Kurt does say that when he said no to a sexual thing - Cody got aggressive and tied him up. That is leaning on sexual assault there, show. Again - I’m not personally offended, but I also don’t think it’s funny either.

Oh, as an aside I want to mention the whole thrown in joke there about Kurt being sexy to kiss because it’s like he has no kiss (geez, is it just me or is there a blow job joke in there somewhere?) it is a comment on Chris’s physical attributes. So, calm down people when we get to Santana’s rant in season six. Every character gets pot shots about their looks. It’s part of being an actor in general.

Go Feel Shame

It’s...the next day? And Kurt’s talking to Santana (seeming much more Kurt like than the rest of the episode) about how he just wanted to let loose and feel better. (Well, alcohol rarely helps with that kiddo - but it’s a lesson nonetheless.) It’s interesting that he says he feels ashamed (he shouldn’t - but I can see why he would). And he also doesn’t want Blaine to know, ever. (An odd comment for something that is an AU)

I do understand some people’s thoughts that they wished Kurt had had a better experience about letting loose a little (and in some ways he did -- I mean that was what The End of Twerk was about). And I agree in that not every poor decision in your life needs to be met with shame and being robbed.

But I do think it’s also Glee’s way of saying - hey, we did hear you - and we’re going to continue to tell the story our way.

They all look really lovely in this scene. Rachel has a new gig for them - singing behind a wall of glass.

It’s the fourth wall -- Kurt, Santana, and Rachel are the writers again. It’s probably better that they stay there for their own safety. But also - this episode is what happens when that wall is broken down between creators and fandom - a weird mess of....whatever this is.

Oh! One last final side thought -- no, there’s no Klaine duet. That doesn’t bother me within the context of this story - it wouldn’t have made sense anywhere. That said, I’m sorry they didn’t get a final duet. I think Winter Wonderland would have been a nice conclusion for them. Let’s take a moment and lament that there was no season six Christmas episode to end on a high note with.

Time to move on to the regular story at hand.

#finding kh #kurt hummel #well -- that was theraputic #hopefully I can put this episode behind me now that I've said what I wanted to say #and I feel like I tried to be diplomatic about it

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ultraisabarrosmartins1978 · 4 years

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Influencer mostra corpo real por trás de suas fotos no Instagram

A influenciadora digital Danae Mercer compartilha em seu perfil no Instagram o corpo real por trás de fotos perfeitas como uma forma de protestar contra os padrões estéticos inalcançáveis e procura alertar sobre a ilusão vendida às pessoas por uma foto bem tratada.

Danae Mercer mostra os ângulos em que suas fotos não saem de acordo com o que é estabelecido pelos padrões estéticos da sociedade. Segundo ela, a ‘perfeição’ do clique depende da perspectiva usada nas imagens.

A motivação de Danae em mostrar seu corpo real é a superação de um transtorno alimentar que a fazia magra ao extremo.

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TW – NEW YOUTUBE – Eating Disorder relapse – My story There’s so much I want to say. Most of it I talk through in this video (link in bio): How it’s so common to have disordered thoughts around food; how it’s normal to battle healing; how sometimes we deny we have a problem for days and weeks and years. How getting better is worth it. How you’re not alone if you find yourself wobbling in a grey area where body image and mental health and external pressures collide. I relapsed once, four years ago. It happens and it’s horrible and yet. Yet. We are resilient. How it will be ok. And yet I’m not quite sure how to say so many things, now more than ever. Because I’m realizing eating disorders are more complicated than I ever knew. And that there are entire communities who are left out of the healing, the research, the representation. Maybe you’re stumbling through these things too. Maybe you’re that girl. So for now, let me say this: If you’re struggling, know that recovery is possible. If you’ve recovered, remind yourself constantly your why. And if you’re feeling alone, know that you are not. Not now. Not ever. It will be ok. It will be ok. . . . #EDrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edawareness #selflove

A post shared by Danae Mercer (@danaemercer) on Jun 11, 2020 at 6:24am PDT

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A influenciadora tem mais de 870 mil seguidores na rede social, e usa sua visibilidade para mostrar que todos somos perfeitos do nosso jeito sem precisamos seguir um padrão de beleza inexistente que não faz bem a maioria das pessoas.

Vigilante, a influenciadora mostra seu corpo real, suas celulites como sendo o que são: algo completamente normal nas mulheres. “A celulite é tão comum! Então, use aquele maiô, arrase no biquíni, vá lá fora e mostre a maravilha que você é. E não deixei nenhum pequeno detalhe fazer com que você duvide de si mesma, nem por um segundo”, escreveu na legenda de uma publicação.

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How do influencers get GREAT BOOTIE PHOTOS? But also – SOCIAL MEDIA is NOT REAL. Seriously. It’s not. Look how much my bumbum transforms just by how I’m standing. PLUS I’m in SHADOW, which hides my cellulite and stretchmarks. And I’m filming on a LOW RES FRONT CAM, which does the same. Here’s how I did it. THE BIKINI: You usually see this pose in TRAVEL SNAPS, with a tanned beach bum framed against a blue sky. Sometimes there’s a guy’s hand reaching up. HOW: Bikini high for longer leg lines; step my feet apart; pop my hips back; arms overhead so waist looks longer; and bam take photo. It looks crazy from the side though 😂❤️. THE WORKOUT WEAR: Bonus points for light coloured leggings and/or bum rusching, which adds to this. HOW: Face away from camera, legs in a line. Rotate over one shoulder. Squeeze back bum cheek. Arch hips back. Squeeze core. Arms overhead for long waist. Bam! Take photo. So there you go. Look, if you want to run around taking all the bumbum photos and rocking all the angles, go for it. But more importantly, remember this: SOCIAL MEDIA is not REAL. It’s POSED. FILTERED. PERFECTED. Especially with aesthetic photos. So don’t compare yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself. You’re doing great – no bootie pose required x . Also top is @womensbestwear @womensbest.me . #instagramvsreality #socialmediavsreality #fitspo #bodyconfidence #selflove #posing

A post shared by Danae Mercer (@danaemercer) on Jun 15, 2020 at 7:17am PDT

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Same girl. Same day. SAME WORTH. But we don’t see both these types of photos to the same extent on social media. The online world is filtered. Here, TikTok, Twitter, wherever. It’s a series of magic moments and perfect poses that have been reshot and filtered and adjusted until they embody the ideal. This doesn’t just go for the stream of ‘ideal’ bodies. It goes for incredibly romantic adventures or cool crafts or perfect parenting moments. All of these, all of what’s on display, is so often part of someone else’s HIGHLIGHT REEL. And it’s easy to feel our REAL doesn’t quite measure up. Only your REAL is magnificent. It’s flawed and complex and complicated, but it’s also HUMAN. It’s also authentic and raw and YOU. And that? That is far more incredible than anything social media could ever hope to display. . . #selflove #iweigh #whstrong #instagramvsreality #bodyconfidence #posing #toldya

A post shared by Danae Mercer (@danaemercer) on Jun 17, 2020 at 6:22am PDT

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Insta vs Reality / or why PERFECTION is DANGEROUS. Perfection puts a wall up between us and others. It does. Whether it’s in POSING FOR PHOTOS or LIVING OUR LIVES. Especially for us PEOPLE PLEASERS. Because it shows only our sparkly bits. Our STAGED bits. Our MASKS that we wear when we are quietly afraid no one will love us otherwise. It proves we are good little girls. Only here’s the thing: PERFECTION builds that barrier. Because ultimately, it’s only a half truth. A brief moment. A STAGED PHOTO. And us humans, we are more complex than that. We are raw and clumsy with belly laughs and cellulite and fears and dreams so fragile we dare only to whisper them into existence. So today, show someone your imperfect. Show them your real. Let them see you for all the splendour and glory you are, and let YOURSELF be SEEN for the same. Whether it’s simply rocking your WIGGLES at the BEACH or opening up about your HOPES. Show YOU. As someone who has only started embracing VULNERABILITY in her 30s, trust me on this: It’s so much more incredible than perfection could ever hope to be. It’s human. It’s wonderful. It’s real. x Photos @chiclebelle gabrielleph as always #selflove #feminist #selfacceptance #inspiringquotes #positivequotes #iweigh #mentalhealth

A post shared by Danae Mercer (@danaemercer) on Jun 18, 2020 at 6:37am PDT

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CELLULITE is so darn COMMON. So WEAR that swimsuit. Rock that bikini. Get out there and roll with the full wonder of all that you are. And don’t let any little lumpbumps make you second guess for a single minute. Over 80 percent of women have cellulite. That’s a HUGE number – and yet we are told it’s bad and wrong and subtly, so subtly, taught that it is shameful. Some of us learn these lessons as little girls. Yesterday I shared a YouTube video that wants to teach exactly that. It featured a slight child deciding she was TOO BIG, so she exercised and weighed herself and ate carrots and weighed herself and climbed stairs and weighed herself. Some of us learn these lessons as adults, when brands try to SELL TO US and make money from SHAME. From creating flaws that don’t exist, or from turning incredibly common bits of bodies into things that must be fixed. Wherever you learned these lessons, know that they are wrong. Your cellulite is NOT an error. A glitch in perfection. It’s incredible. Unique. A stamp mark of who you are. A sign that your body is functioning and alive and doing the same thing as over 80% of other women. So today, babygirl, get out there and rock your cellulite. Celebrate your dips and rolls. Embrace your curves or your straights. And most of all, do whatever makes you SMILE. Because you are a GLORIOUS CELEBRATION. A song of limbs and heart and soul. Don’t you forget it. Bikini @heiress_swimwear #selflove #bodyacceptance #normalizenormalbodies #cellulite #strengthmarks

A post shared by Danae Mercer (@danaemercer) on Jun 23, 2020 at 6:27am PDT

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Insta vs reality — or LETS talk LIGHTING. Because that’s the main difference in these photos. In one, my bum is deliberately angled into the shadows. The softer light hides my cellulite and smooths most of my stretchmarks. It’s flattering. In the other, I’m just casually squatting (lol) beside the mirror. My hips and thighs are in the sunlight. Lumps and bumps are on show. There are a few posing differences (core tight, hips popped back, squeeeezzzinnnggg), but mostly this pic is about LIGHT working its magic. When I worked in magazines, we shot at sunrise or sunset. On most sets, there were people holding SUN DIFFUSERS and REFLECTORS to help create the perfect FLATTERING balance of shadow and light. The same thing happens on SOCIAL MEDIA, just in a different form. Most insta-models know EXACTLY how to POSE and work their angles. And they know LIGHTING too. Like how SIDE LIGHT, diffused from a window, is the most flattering for abs but usually pretty harsh on the face. It’s why you’ll often see a phone covering the face. Or how SHADOWS can gently eliminate certain LUMPS and BUMPS. All that is fine with me, honestly. It’s art and photography, and there is no shame in wanting to look FIERCE. But I also want to remind you about how SO MUCH on here is FILTERED. POSED. PERFECTED. And how you shouldn’t EVER COMPARE YOURSELF to a STRANGER on the internet. Because cowgirl, you’re just seeing their snapshots taken in PERFECT LIGHT. Your reality is a whole lot more varied, diverse, and human than that. It’s more perfectly imperfect. Real. Raw. And that’s a wonderful thing indeed. You got this. x #instavsreality #womenirl #womenshealth #popsugarfitness #instagramvsreality #posingtips #cellulite #strengthmarks

A post shared by Danae Mercer (@danaemercer) on Jun 25, 2020 at 6:59am PDT

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Influencer mostra corpo real por trás de suas fotos no Instagrampublicado primeiro em como se vestir bem

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