#i know raccoons are american shhhh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mars-the-4th-planet · 5 years

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A dollar for a penny? That doesnt seem fair.

"And then she tore out an important component and scraped my beautiful emblem off my rocket and ruined my hat!" Yuri said sadly, holding the surprisingly cuddly robot close.

"That is so sad! I hope you can fix those things! I will help in any way I can!" Penny replied with much enthusiasm.

"I will... Definitely. But first! We need to go to the market."

"SAYORI?! CAN WE- I MEAN I, GO TO THE MARKET?!"

Sayori called out "WHATEVER!" Knowing that with the tracking beacon implanted in Yuri Gagarins rocket, there would be no escaping. Plus she was depressed and wanted Yuri Gagarin to not be there for a while.

"Push me. I dont want to have to nudge myself across the ground with a cane, thats embarrassing."

"Okay! I am always happy to help out a friend."

"I am your commander!"

"And friend!" Penny said, beaming.

Yuri blinked a few times to get the tears out of her eyes, and smiled back at her. "Lets go, for the motherland."

"Yes! For the motherland!"

"Penny, shhhh. The capitalist garbage can of a rocket might hear you."

"Ohh, are we going to be sneaky?" Penny asked quietly.

"Yes."

"Psst..."

"What?"

"Sounds like fun."

"I can hear you already, you dont have to say psst."

"Okay, I wont then."

"Thank you. Now push me outside please."

Some pushing later, they were outside. Penny continued to push Yuri on her grocery cart wheels down the side of the road, much to the annoyance of onlookers who looked on. They muttered things like "millennials" and "stupid teenagers" which in the modern Era were not exactly the same thing but often grouped together in unfavorable circumstances. "Back in my day, dysfunctional Rockets were melted down for scrap not pushed around by cheap robots!" An old man cried out and shook his fist. Of course he would never dare say that if the American idol Freedom Sayori were there.

...

"Ah here we are!"

They had arrived at the market. It was a noisy, busy place with peasants milling about and loud obnoxious merchants merchandising and tax collectors that were even more obnoxious than the merchants and wealthy people on horseback that were somehow as obnoxious as the tax collectors and were buying the most impractical, stupid things to buy at the market or buying things maliciously to flex their wealth. How do you buy something maliciously? Buy simple necessities in absurd amounts to empty the supply so the poorer individuals cant have any. Things like bread and toilet paper and fresh memes.

"Now whereth be the rocket parts..." Yuri wondered in old speech in front of the several people taking notice of her.

"Aha! There they are, right by the raccoon tail vendor."

She was pushed over to the vendor by Penny.

"Hello! I would like to buy a Kremlin B-90 Dimitrikov. Do you have any?"

"Yeppers peppers I do!" the vendor said excitedly, handing to her something that looked like a bent pipe.

"That will be Seven Ninty Five."

Yuri handed him some rationing tickets with a picture of a hammer overlapping a wrench on them with a little picture of Stalin in the corner.

"I am sorry, vendor madame, but I am lacking in American capitalist dollars so I must offer you these industrial rationing tickets instead. These are all I have, I dont know the exact exchange rate."

The vendor quickly took them. "Oh, these are definitely enough. Have a nice day." And then when in the back to call her husband and let him know that she had her hands on some very old and very valuable collectable soviet communist rationing tickets.

"That was less difficult than anticipated." Yuri remarked. She was not used to having to pay for things and was happy she had been able to without any problems.

"Hang on now." A tax collector said. He swiped the component from her and examined it. "Okay, you are good to go. I just needed to examine the item."

And like that he placed it down.

However, before Yuri Gagarin could take it and use it to repair her rocket, SHE appeared...

No, not Freedom Sayori.

"Hey! That is mine you little bottle rocket!"

A tiny rocket girl flew past and swiped the component. She was singing while doing so. "Vii ka kuusi palaa, dushkoomen rejii maa, teskiarven mytar, res sooch kussen da!"

"Blyat! It is the stupid little Finn. Penny! Quick, slice her down!"

"But friend, I am not combat ready! The company who bought our production line has made the swords be an add-on you pay extra for."

"Electronic Arts Robotics."

"Oh no!"

"Pbpbbttt!" The tiny Finn blew a raspberry at Yuri Gagarin as she flew in circles around her.

She didnt seem to be able to hover gracefully like the large rocket girls. And without a precise throttle that had more modes than on and off, she could only stop by finding a soft object to hit and try not to land at a painful angle. You could tell the crudeness of her form by the fact that the sheeting of her rocket appeared to be actual aluminum foil covering half a bottle.

In fact rather than describe her further, this is what she looks like. Except now with a component in her hands, of course.

Will Yuri get her part back and move on to her next step on getting an escape flight to Russia? Or will this mischievous Finn bottle rocket hinder her plans to evade the law? (and Freedom Sayori) And will she have enough money soon to buy the microtransactions necessary to turn Penny into a proper fighting machine? Find out next time!

#Yuri Gagarin arc

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