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#i know it's apples and oranges to compare mediums but the movie is just *better*....
storybook-souls · 2 years
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gonna start claiming that newsies (1992) is unironically good actually.
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Oh boy one of these again
“Even though both of these characters are awesome, fans can’t help but argue among themselves, so the question is simple: Who makes the better Spider-Man? Is it the new kid on the block who is winning new fans over left and right, or is it the classic Spidey that basically started it all?”
 It’s Peter.
 This isn’t even a debate.
 One character is literally trying to be a replication of the other but throwing in some zigs where they zagged, whilst the other is the thing being replicated that also revolutionized comic books forever.
 “As always, the answer to this question is: “it depends.” ”
 Yes. It depends if you are a moronic clickbait author or not.
 Do most Miles Morales fans even honestly argue that Miles is the best Spider-Man as opposed to just...great in his own way?
 Like I’m pretty sure most Ben Reilly and Sam Wilson fans don’t try to honestly assert those guys are better than Peter or Steve.
 “How do you even begin to measure something like this? ”
 Who has had the biggest impact on the medium.
 Who was most original.
  Who has the most acclaimed stories.
  Who has had the most comparatively unconvoluted narrative.
 Who’s stories stick closest to the fundamental guiding ideas behind the core concept of Spider-Man and execute that the best.
 Mystery solved.
     20. MILES: BETTER ORIGIN
  “The Peter Parker Spider-Man has an origin story that is downright iconic. There’s no denying that. However, if we’re being honest, then Miles Morales has a much better origin story. And it’s one that modern audiences will find a much easier time relating to.”
Hmm, a scientifically gifted teenager gets bitten by a super science spider and gains spider powers that he doesn’t commit to using altruistically for the wider community. Because of this he fails to intervene in a crime the results of which ultimately wind up killing a noble person he admired. From this he learned that his great powers should be used responsibily to help others and carried a burden of guilt around with him. o this end he dressed up in webbed spandex and became a crime fighter called Spider-Man.
 Yeah...I can see how that is so much better and modern than Peter Parker’s origin...
  This doesn’t even explain how or why the origin is better, it just says Peter’s origin is iconic but Miles is better and leaves it at that.
 Surely if something is better than the iconic thing you’d have more to say about it.
  “Miles, meanwhile, had to deal with his powers being stolen by an uncle (whom we saw briefly in Spider-Man: Homecoming) before Miles’ early exploits with Venom led to the loss of his mother.”
 This isn’t part of his origin and therefore doesn’t belong in this section.
Moreover it’s asinine because it omits Peter’s early adventures to give the false impression Miles is better.
 Let’s say Miles’ uncle stole his powers. Why is this somehow better than ‘My uncle is dead, I need to step up and replace him as the man of the house, also my aunt is chronically ill, I am cash strapped and I constantly get shit in both my identities’.
 Call me crazy but wasn’t Spider-Man supposed to be ABOUT those normal life problems as opposed to the inherently fantastical problem of your magic science spider powers getting jacked?
 Or your mother dying due to an ooze monster before she was literally resurrected like two years later negating all drama?
 Even if his mother had remained dead, how does this make him better than Peter? His mother died. Wow. I’ve NEVER seen a superhero with a dead parent before. I’ve NEVER seen a female supporting character die in a superhero story before. Certainly not a Spider-man story. Certainly not a Spider-Man story that changed comic books forever before shallow repetitions like murdering the characters mother turned it into a mess of a cliché. A mess of a cliché that the same guy who did it reversed 2 years later.
  “In this way, he feels a much keener guilt over the passing away of a family member than Peter Parker does”
  **** please!
 His mother came BACk to life two years later and it wasn’t like his ENTIRE motivation after she died was BUILT around his grief over her death.
 Like Peter brings up Uncle Ben’s death so much that we needed to do a movie that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T BRING IT UP!
 And this isn’t even getting into how despite being a family member the best analogy for Rio within Peter’s story is Gwen NOT Uncle Ben.
 And you cannot with a straight face tell any Spider-Man fan Gwen’s death was not AS keenly felt by Peter as Rio’s was for Miles.
 Miles quit after Rio died and then an arc or two later after a time skip he was back in the saddle. Meanwhile literally 2 years worth of issues were devoted to depicting Peter’s grieiving of Gwen and then we also wouldn’t shut up about it for another 40 years!
 “making him not only more motivated, but more sympathetic in the eyes of the readers.”
 If Rio’s death made Miles more motivated than Peter...why did he literally quit being Spider-Man after she died?
 This gets even dumber when you consider this article is drawing an analogy between Rio’s death and Uncle Ben.
 RIO’s death motivated Miles to quit for  A WHOLE YEAR!
 Uncle Ben’s death motivated Peter to BE a superhero for *checks watch) 56 years and counting!
 And what is this the tragedy Olympics? Miles deserves more sympathy because his mother died when he was fighting a villain than Peter does for when his father figure died due to someone he failed to stop?
 At best BOTH things are equally tragic and worthy of sympathy.
 At worst if you truly contextualize this, fuck no Miles doesn’t deserve more sympathy.
 I’m not saying ‘screw him he deserved it’. I’m just saying of course Peter had it worse.
 When Rio died that was the third major death in Miles’ life. His mother, his uncle and Ult Peter Parker.
 Yeah, that’s 2 dead family members to Peter’s 1 circa Gwen’s death right?
  Wrong. Peter lost his parents, his uncle which was his fault, George Stacy who was another father figure which he also felt guilty over and then also his girlfriend/practically his fiancé...which he also felt guilty over.
 Then you’ve got the fact that Miles, whilst feeling guilty over Ult Peter’s death, didn’t actually know him personally. Peter knew all those people personally sans his parents, but they were still his parents.
 And then he had to be the provider for May whilst having exactly zero emotional support from anyone other than her. Miles had Ganke through everything. Peter had jackshit and was also getting bullied and was also getting hated on by Jameson.
 You can’t even say “Well Miles had it worse because he saw his mother die violently right in front of him.” Peter saw and CAUSED Gwen to die violently in front of him, he saw George Stacy die violently in front of him, he at least KNEW Uncle Ben died violenty and in his own home to boot.
 And unlike Miles’ uncle or mother none of THOSE people came back to life!
 19. PETER: CREATIVE USE OF POWERS
 “Have you ever thought about how limited Peter Parker’s powers really are? No, seriously — he has spider-sense and super-strength, and he made himself some webs and that’s it”
 -and, spider agility, and spider speed and you know wall-crawling the one thing his namesake, a spider, FAMOUSLY does!
 “Seemingly every issue has him doing something new with his powers,”
 Says someone who’s clearly not read much Spider-Man.
 How the hell do you even begin to try and have him do something new in every issue across multiple monthly titles across 57 years my god!
 18. MILES: COOLER COSTUME
 “If you were trying to figure out what the most iconic comic book costume was, it may very well be Peter Parker’s Spider-Man costume. Those red and blue tights have inspired literally decades of comics fans, young and old. But we hate to break it to you: Miles Morales has the cooler costume.”
 “The red and blue may be iconic, but it’s also difficult to translate into the real world, such as live action films.”
 This is fucking moronic on four levels.
 Level 1: It was a costume designed for a comic book which isn’t set in the real world or even in a live action medium so the point is fucking moot because the measure of a COMIC BOOK character’s costume is how well it works in a COMIC BOOK.
 By this logic Batman’s costume sucks shit because it’s rarely translated well into live action and usually needed to be made all black.
 By this logic ALL MANGA isn’t that great because none of it translates t the real world.
 Level 2: If the thing is ICONIC then obviously is does effing work!
 Level 3: Solid black with red patterning on top of it. Yes. I can see how this is very original and inherently better.
 Level 4: The red and blue costume has literally been translated into film FOUR TIMES!
 “Meanwhile, Miles’ black and red costume looks sleek and modern.”
 Looking sleek and modern doesn’t counter ‘is difficult to translate to film’. Those are two separate things.
 Moreover, it’s ‘modernity’ is afforded it by being again, mostly unoriginal.
 Shit Spider-Man’s SECOND most iconic costume, which is also more iconic than Miles’, is even MORE sleek so does that make it more ‘modern’ too?
  It’s the same nonsense as before, ‘it’s just better’. How and why!
  “ It’s a perfect compromise between comic book sensibilities and real world aesthetics”
 Which means it’s not as good in the medium it was designed for as another costume that was!
 “and you can’t help but grin whenever you see it.”
 That isn’t even a point, that’s barely even an individual opinion!
 17. PETER: BETTER LOVE INTERESTS
“Sometimes, comparing Peter Parker and Miles Morales feels like comparing apples and oranges. ”
 And reading this article comparing them feels like throwing up.
 “That’s because there are some cool things that one hero has that the other doesn’t, meaning there’s no real comparison. ”
 Okay like...first of all if the author actually believes that then what the fuck is the point of this list!
 Second of all, the fact that they are comparing them means obviously they can be compared.
 Thirdly the fact that they are literally both characters called Spider-Man, with spider powers, based in New York, who got their powers the same way, fight ostensibly the same villains and (allegedly) touch upon the same types of sub-genres and are both made by Marvel comics OBVIOUSLY MEANS THEY ARE COMPARABLE!
 Like fuck dude, this isn’t like you are trying to compare Spider-Man to the Power Rangers!
  “Peter Parker has had an epic romance with Mary Jane Watson, as well as dalliances with Felicia Hardy and Carlie Cooper.”
  Really? You are going to list off a quick romantic history of Spider-Man and you mention MJ and Felicia and...Carlie Cooper.
 A character not seen since 2014. A character who dated Spider-Man for like one year publishing time.
 You will mention her but not, I dunno, Gwen effing Stacy?
  16. MILES: MORE INFLUENTIAL
 I’m face palming from just the title of this one.
 “One reason that we think Miles Morales might be the better Spider-Man is because of how influential he is. And we’re not just talking about more and more fans discovering the character each year. A major bit of evidence is that his character highly influenced the insanely successful Spider-Man: Homecoming.”
  Well I’m happy somebody is acknowledging Homecoming was basically a whitewashed Miles movie.
 “An example of this is Peter’s friend in the movie, Ned Leeds. Longtime Spidey fans were surprised that he looked nothing like the Ned of the comics. That’s because his design and characterization was based on Miles’ friend, Ganke Lee. On top of that, we even see Miles’ uncle, Aaron Davis, played by Donald Glover. This gave many fans hope we’d see Miles Morales in the MCU!”
  Just to be crystal clear here, this ‘article’ is asserting that Miles Morales, a character invented by Bendis and Pichelli less than 10 years ago, is more influential than the character that....literally every teenage super hero after 1962 was inspired by (including Miles himself)...who was created by one of the art Gods of all comics and the single most famous writer of comic books of all time.
 And their ‘evidence’ for this was...one movie from last year...that he wasn’t even in...
 15. PETER: FANTASTIC…FIVE?
There is nothing objectionable in this sans the fact that he joined the Future Foundation not the F4.
14. MILES: STEALTHY SPIDER
 “We love Peter Parker’s abilities but if we’re being honest, they don’t always make a lot of sense. Detecting future danger and being super-strong is really neat, but it never exactly screamed “spider” to us.”
 Spiders are very strong for their size. Hence ‘proportional strength of a spider’ as a commonly used phrase associated with the character.
 The Spider Sense is more defencible as being ‘not a spider thing’, but there are still ways to explain it.
 “It felt a bit like the writers were just making stuff up.”
 ...making stuff up is literally the definition of writing fiction...
 “And if you’re going to make up some weird powers, we say “go big or go home.””
 None of Peter’s powers sans his spider sense were even remotely weird if he was intended as a human spider.
  “And that’s why we like Miles Morales’ cool stealth ability. His ability to blend into his surroundings creates some really fun stories, and adds a fun dose of Batman to the Spidey stories that we love.”
 Not only is this dumb because being like another character is not a good thing (doesn’t it make you less unique), but worse it pretends like having stealth is something that’s even MORE insane for a spider than spider sense.
 It’s not.
 Spiders can camouflage into their surroundings like you know....shittons of animals people commonly know about.
 13. PETER: AVENGERS MEMBER
 Nothing that wrong here.
 12. MILES: GALACTUS FIGHTER
  “When fans argue about which characters are the best, there are plenty of different metrics. One of the biggest, though, is who the character has managed to fight. And if a hero is able to take on a villain well above their weight, it establishes just how serious they are.
So, how can you tell that Miles Morales is the best? He managed to take on Galactus. No, seriously — when Galactus threatened the universe, Miles Morales teamed up with resident big brain Reed Richards in order to get information and allies. While it was definitely a team effort, Miles should get credit for tackling a bigger foe than Peter Parker ever did.”
 This is so fucked up it’s not even funny.
 By this logic ANY TIME Peter contributed even a little to a team effort that ultimately led to beating someone it should count on his win record.
 Okay then. In AvX he contributed to fighting the Phoenix, which is canonically MORE powerful than Galactus. He’s also contributed to fighting Galactus in Secret Wars. He contributed to fighting Onslaught who was approaching a Galactus level threat. He contributed towards defeating Scarlet Witch in House of M and restoring the 616 universe, Scarlet Witch also being even more powerful than Galactus in that story.
 If you DIDN’T use this type of bullshit then Peter has taken on supremely more powerful foes than Miles.
 Juggernaut, Hulk, Tri-Sentinel, Rhino. The entire X-Men.
 Even the stuff that doesn’t make sense for either character put Peter ahead. Peter beat Firelord a Herald of Galactus, whilst Miles beat Blackheart, the son of Mephisto.
 Let me remind you that Silver Surfer, also a Herald of Galactus, has beaten Mephisto himself.
 Therefore Firelord is most likely put of Blackheart’s weight class.
 11. PETER: CIA PARENTS
 There is nothing incorrect in this but why is this a point in Peter’s favour? Spider-Man is supposed to be down to Earth so the more James Bond super spy craziness involved the more reductive it is.
 Hell it doesn’t even make sense against Miles since Miles dad worked for SHIELD.
  “We shouldn’t be surprised Peter is who he is when he had parents like this!”
 Yeah or you know it could’ve been because of Uncle Ben as literally every version of Spider-Man spells out for us.
  10. MILES: S.H.I.E.L.D. AGENT
 “Just as you can judge a hero by who they fight, you can also judge them by who they fight alongside. When a character joins a team with a proud history and powerful members, it goes to show just how amazing that hero is. And this is why we love that Miles Morales is a member of S.H.I.E.L.D.
He was hand-picked as a hero with great potential and trained by the greatest secret agents on the planet and this is all the more impressive because he already has more training and experience at his young age than Peter had way back when.”
See what I said about about James Bond stuff in Spider-Man being a bad thing.
 Also, if Miles is better because he fought alongside SHIELD, then by this logic Peter would be better because he was a member of the Avengers and FF...at the same time.
 Moreover, whilst it’s true Miles has had more training than peter had, he hasn’t necessarily had as much experience.
 And the point is moot if training and experience doesn’t translate into you being a better fighter, and at a comparable age, Peter definitely could’ve beaten Miles provided the writers didn’t cop out and have his Spider Sense not work so he can avoid Miles’ cheat code Venom blast.
 9. PETER: CHEATING HIS DEMISE
“One time, Kraven filled Spider-Man with tranquilizer darts and left him to pass away, going so far as to bury him. Peter emerged alive, but he later “passed away” after fighting Morlun, only to be reborn with weird new spider-powers. It turns out you just can’t keep him down!”
 Okay, but he also died in Secret Wars, Infinity Gauntlet and Infinity War (the comic, not the movie, or it might’ve been Infinity Crusade).
 8. MILES: BETTER SUPPORTING CAST
 Oooooooooooooooooooooh boy can’t wait for this!
 “Sure, given enough time, you may be able to rattle off a few additional names when it comes to Peter Parker’s supporting cats.”
 This is such BS because Felicia alone is a more memorable supporting cat than any of the felines in Miles’ series.
 LEARN TO SPELL CHECK ON THE ARTICLE YOU’VE BEEN PAID FOR!
 “But when pressed, most people will simply say “Aunt May and Mary Jane.””
 No, most people would say Aunt May, Mary Jane, Harry Osborn, J. Jonah Jameson, Gwen Stacy and possibly now Ned Leeds due to Homecoming.
 And that’s just for Joe Average on the street. Actual comic book fans would say all those people and also probably Black Cat, Betty Brant, Joe Robertson, Liz Allan, Flash Thompson and possibly Norman Osborn and Eddie Brock (the latter being a mistake due to adaptations but still, they’d mention him).
 “And while we’re calling them a “supporting cast,” they often don’t play a major role in the story.”
 Almost like they exist to...SUPPORT the main story isn’t it? Wheras being a MAJOR character would be different.
 This is also a BS metric to use for Spider-Man. Spider-Man’s core concept involves him being a normal guy in his civilian life who is also a super hero, with those two sides impacting upon one another.
 Since most stories are mostly about the hero stuff it means that to get the supporting cast involved in major stories would make them involved in the super hero stuff and therefore make Peter’s civilian life NOT normal.
 “With Miles, he gets to have his spider-cake and eat it, too. He has a major supporting friend in the form of Ganke Lee, who provides insight into both the personal and the superhero life of Miles. And Miles has an extended supporting cast as part of all those team-ups: Avengers, Ultimates — if Miles needs help, some A-listers are just a dial away!”
 First off, by this logic Mary Jane from like 1984 and Aunt May from 2001 would count as equally as Ganke.
 Second of all Ganke is literally the ONLY supporting cast the folks with the most cursory knowledge of Miles could name. Even under CBR’s nonsensical logic of Aunt May and Mj being the ONLY people anyone would know from Peter’s cast, that’s still two vs. one. The author brought up a point against Peter and then failed to demonstrate how Miles is better in comparison, probably because he wasn’t.
 Thirdly the Avengers and the Ultimates are NOT supporting cast members, they are team mates!
 Fourthly, by that logic Peter again has the advantage since the Avengers, F4, the (Netflix) Defenders, the X-Men and literally everyone he ever teamed up with in Marvel Team up count as his supporting cast!
  7. PETER: DEALING WITH THE DEVIL
 Forget what I said earlier. Now THIS really should be good!
  “We’re going to keep saying this over and over again, but the best way to judge a hero is to look at the villains they have gone up against. And in the case of Peter Parker, he’s actually survived the greatest villain in all of history in the devil himself or, as they call him in Marvel Comics, Mephisto.”
 That is such insane broken and desperate logic I almost want to love this article for trying.
 Peter is better than Miles BECAUSE of the worst Spider-man story of all time.
 Wow. That’s beautifully bonkers.
But seriously, this is...just holy shit.
 Peter did survive an encounter with Mephisto...but Mephisto was never trying to kill him. They never exchanged blows at all.
 Saying Peter survived Mephisto is like saying Miles survived God Emperor Doom in Secret Wars, therefore he’s more awesome.
 Then you have the fact that Mephisto really, really, really isn’t even the greatest villain in the marvel universe. I hate to invoke Quesada, but he isn’t even the ACTUAL devil. He’s not even the ACTUAL guy who rebelled against God and was damned to be the ruler of Hell. He’s one of the 4 rulers of Hell alongside Satan, Satannish and Lucifer, who is the ACTUAL Biblical devil. In fact one of them (Satannish) is himself the SON of the Dread Dormammu and supposed to be weaker than his old man IIRC.
 DAFQ are you the greatest villain when the DAD of one of your peers is a bigger deal than you are?
 And if we ignore morality for a moment and look at raw power, shittons of antagonists are much more powerful and dangerous than Mephisto or else have been capable at times of owning his red ass.
 Thanos. Firelord. Hela. Galactus. Annihilus. Dark Phoenix. Arguably Apocalypse and Onslaught.
 “Longtime fans don’t like to remember this because it is a highly controversial story. ”
 Longtime fans? It was only 10 years ago!
 And the sequel was only 8 years ago!
 And it got referenced explicitely THIS YEAR!
  “Spider-Man basically gets Mephisto to save Aunt May’s life, but Mephisto’s price is that he will rewrite reality so that Peter and Mary Jane never loved each other. ”
 Holy shit that isn’t even an accurate summation of the most infamous story ever.
 Mephisto rewrites their marriage, not their love. And Spidey gets him to do nothing, it was an offer Peter accepted.
 “Is it the clumsiest reset button ever? Sure. But Peter still survived encountering the ultimate evil.”
 He survived in so far as he didn’t die. He objectively lost though.
  6. MILES: PLAYING WELL WITH OTHERS
  “One of the weirder qualities of Peter Parker is how much he likes to keep to himself. ”
 No one in the real world does that. And it isn’t like he has a rich friendship group or anything.
 “Sure, he’s been on many teams (and that many more team-ups), but at the end of the day, he prefers to work alone.”
 Except when he’s in Marvel Team up or with Black Cat.
 “This isn’t the case for Miles Morales, which is why the young man has better allies than Peter does.”
 Preferring to be a loner vs a team player doesn’t make you better or worse it’s just different. But even if it didn’t Peter has allies too. Most of Miles allies are also Peter’s and Peter has even more.
 “Who are we talking about? Miles is both friends and allies with characters like Ms. Marvel, Nova, Amadeus Cho,”
 And Peter is both friends and allies with characters like Captain Marvel (both female ones), the ORIGINAL more powerful Nova, and Bruce Banner, a.k.a. the original and holy fuck immeasurably stronger Hulk.
 He’s also friends with Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, Wolverine and most of the X-Men and Avengers and F4.
  “He seemed to figure out something early on that eluded Peter Parker for many years: that it’s good to have a support system in place, especially as a superhero!”
 And yet, Peter survivied on his own for years like a bad ass.
  5. PETER: THE MAN, THE MYTH
 “While the comic played coy and never confirmed this, it is strongly hinted that Peter Parker is part of centuries of “spider totems” that are chosen as champions. That means the spider that bit him was not powered by radiation: it had powers it wanted to give Peter, and only later passed away due to radiation. You may or may not believe it, but Peter quite likely has centuries of lineage fueling his powers!”
 Again this isn’t necessarily a good thing.
  4. MILES: BETTER VILLAINS
BWAHAHAHAHAHA...oh they’re serious...
 Do you want to know the secret to nostalgia? Your brain only remembers the good parts of whatever you’re thinking about. Your buddy that loves ’80s music? Trust us when we say that he managed to brain wipe some pretty awful stuff — it’s a lot like that with Peter Parker’s rogues gallery.
Sure, there are some cool villains like Venom, Green Goblin, and Doctor Octopus, but there are also some real lame ones like the Shocker.
 a)   The author can go suck a dick, Shocker is awesome.
b)   Yeah SOME cool villains like those 3 guys...and Carnage...and Kingpin...and Hobgoblin...and Rhino...and Scorpion...and Electro...and Vulture....and basically everyone under the Ditko run
c)   By this logic Miles villains suck ass too because he’s fought many lame ones too
  “Compared to this, Miles Morales has fewer villains, but that means fewer duds as well. ”
 Super hero rogue’s galleries are not marked negatively.
 It’s one thing if you have few good villains and most of the time you fight lame ones.
 It’s entirely different if you have a lot of good villains, and way more disposable rarely seen lame ones. The lame ones don’t make the whole thing suck shit.
 This is particularly asinine since most of Miles villains are either Peter’s villains or else the Ultimate versions of them.
 What is worse is that by this logic BATMAN has a worse rogue’s gallery than Miles Morales!
 “We’ll take cool villains like the resurrected Aaron Davis over Peter Parker’s C-list baddies any day!”
 So would I probably but would you take him over Venom, Doc Ock or any of the Osborns!
  3. PETER: ALIEN FIGHTER
I don’t even understand how this is a point in Peter’s favour
  2. MILES: SPIDER-BITE
“As we said earlier, it often felt weird that Spider-Man wasn’t more like, well, a spider.”
 He is like one the author is just a jackass.
  “Which is one of the reasons we appreciate Miles Morales so much. In addition to having a cooler backstory”
 A near identical backstory made cooler because the author said so...
 “and a more realistic costume, ”
 Which is bad because in a visual medium like comics where you aren’t bound by the constraints of reality (hence spandex looks awesome) ‘realism’ in your costume designs is not a good thing.
 “Miles has more realistic spider-powers as well, including his “bite.””
 ...his what?
  “With a simple touch, Miles Morales is able to incapacitate villains. Now, Spidey being Spidey, he still has to engage in some wild fisticuffs on more than one occasion, but it’s pretty cool to see that he can take down major bad guys with a spider-bite instead of just fists powered by “radioactive blood.””
 Wow.
 Lets unpack this.
 First of all the author is such a dumbass they don’t even realize Miles’ Venom blast (not named because the author is a hack) is not a representation of a spider bite, but of a specific ability some species of spiders possess wherein they can paralyze foes with bio-electricity.
 This is one of THE most well known things about Miles.
  Second of all if this was analogous to a spider bite wouldn’t it i dunno involve his fucking TEETH!
 Third of all this is Miles’ worst power. It sucks the drama out of action sequences because it’s an auto-win button which means he wins too easily or looks like a moron when he doesn’t just bust it out.
 1. PETER: STOPPING THE UNSTOPPABLE
Again, there is nothing wrong in this, but like...how does this prove Peter is better.
 This article made me ill
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italkstuff · 7 years
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BEDS Day 24: Star Wars vs. Star Trek
Continuing with the theme of Videos I Want To Make But They’re Going To Be Super Long So Here Are My Current Thoughts On The Subject, I kind of want to do a Star Wars vs. Star Trek video . . . not to decide which is better necessarily, but just talk about the similarities and differences in both. Comparing Star Wars and Star Trek is very much like comparing apples and oranges . . . though to be fair, I’ve done that too. Though they both take place in space and both have the word “Star” in the title, they really are completely different.
For one thing, one is primarily a movie franchise, the other primarily a television one, and those are two completely different forms of storytelling. Yes, both have dabbled into the other medium, but if you’re looking at the complete body of work of both, Star Wars canon is made up mostly of movies, and Star Trek canon mostly of television shows. On the one hand, Star Wars benefits from this by being more consistent. From a production standpoint, Star Wars is obviously better, but that’s really not a fair comparison to make, kind of like saying that filet Minot is better than a bag of potato chips. Movies have larger budgets, more time, and in this case, are guided by one creative vision. TV shows, of the other hand, were done weekly with small budgets and a lot of different writers and directors. So while many episodes of Trek are very good, others are very bad. However, the advantage of being a TV show is that you get explore character and world a little bit deeper. There’s only so much you can do with a series of two-hour movies, but when you’re on the air for seven years, there’s lot of directions and perspectives you can explore.
The other difference is in genre and place. Star Trek is very much a science fiction show, taking place in an imagined future of our own world. So it’s a little more grounded in reality, with references being made to actual events in the real world from a futuristic lens, often acting as commentary for present day issues. Star Wars, though, in spite of the space ships and laser swords and whatnot, is fantasy. It takes place in a world completely disconnected from the real world, the Jedi and Sith are basically good and evil wizards, and it even follows the Hero’s Journey of mythological stories. And though science fiction and fantasy usually share a section in bookstores and libraries, they have different ends. Science fiction, being more connected to the real world, is usually meant to act as commentary on it, while fantasy, taking place in a separate world, is often meant as a form of escapism. (Not saying this is always true, of course, but by and large it is.)
And this, I think, factors into the real difference between the two franchises. The story of Star Wars deals in Good vs. Evil, as, again, many fantasies do. We know who the hero is, who the good guys are, and who the bad guys are. There’s ambiguity here and there, of course, but there’s absolutely no question that Luke and Co. are fighting for the side of Good, and we’re not supposed to question why the Emperor and the Sith are Evil. They just are. Trek, on the other hand, is less about Good and Evil and more about right and wrong. While there are bad guys in Trek, there’s no one who is really considered “evil,” (with the possible exception of the Borg, although I’d even argue against that.) There are enemies to be fought, but no one central “evil” that needs to be vanquished. Instead, what we see time and again in Trek is various characters trying to do the right thing, and trying to figure out, in many cases, what the “right thing” even is, and how what is right and what is wrong can change from species to species, and even person to person. I mean, we know that the Federation and various protagonists are going to be on the side of Right, but even that’s not always clear cut, and a lot of episodes leave one feeling unsure as to whether they did actually do the right thing, or whether the right thing even exists. Good vs. Evil, though often more entertaining, is much easier to fathom than the complexities of right and wrong.
Anyway, just more of Thoughts That Are Currently Happening In Matt Guion’s Brain. Hope you enjoyed, and until next time, friends and fellow VEDSies, may the Force be with you, and live long and prosper.
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amandakthompson · 5 years
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The Skeptic’s Guide to Enjoying the Artemis Fowl Movie Anyway
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Hello, there! I would be the skeptic. That's me. Hi.
Like many people, I've been waiting almost two decades for this film, and most of that time was spent believing that it would never actually happen. But it is.
Finally.
And I've been skeptical since they published that bombshell of a casting announcement.
But something magical happened when I watched the teaser trailer and saw that movie poster. I wanted to love it. And even if in the end I don't love it, I at least want to enjoy the ride -the wait, the flurry of excitement over new tidbits, the anticipation of more trailers, the undeniable euphoria of finally getting an Artemis Fowl movie.
Right now isn't the time to be a sourpuss. Right now, it's time to believe. So here's a 8-step guide on how we can deal with our skepticism and enjoy the upcoming Artemis Fowl film in all its glory anyway.
Step 1: Be Disappointed -Then Move On
Branagh says Artemis won't be the villain, instead it's more of a hero origin story. Be disappointed. It's okay. I'm sure there isn't a Fowl fan out there who isn't disappointed in this, or some other aspect of the film, so let the disappointment settle in. Embrace it. And then move on. Either accept the movie for what it's going to be, rather than what you wish it would have been, or admit that you don't want it and walk away.
Step 2: Recognize That It Won't Be The Book
Very, very few books have ever translated their near-entirety to film adaptations, and Artemis Fowl will not be one of them; not because the filmmakers decided they could do better, but because a lot of the book's ideas won't transition well to film. These are two vastly different mediums with different audience expectations. So instead of moping about what the film won't be, get excited about how the film might translate the core elements that made the book awesome into a new adventure.
Step 3: Anticipate A Different Ending
Now, this is just my supposition; there's no evidence as yet that the ending will actually vary much from the book, BUT if Artemis is not going to be the outright villain of the piece, it makes sense another will have to emerge. And IF this is meant to be an origin story, there is the possibility that the film's story might not end with Artemis' kidnapping success, but instead with a situation that requires Artemis to somehow get involved with another conflict, emerging a more heroic figure.
Step 4: Keep An Open Mind
Okay, lots of people are saying this. It's easier said than done, I know, but remember that this movie is going to be a different creature entirely, and comparing it word-for-word to our beloved book is akin to apples and oranges. Plus, just remember that Eoin himself is so excited about many of the changes he's said (according to Branagh): "God I wish I'd thought of that...I'll put it into the book. I'll certainly put it in the reissue."
Step 5:  Treat It As A Stand-Alone Story, Rather Than A Potential Franchise
While it's not beyond the realm of possibility that, if successful, this could turn into Disney's next franchise, they're not going to plan on it from the get-go and leave this film open-ended. This is going to be a self-contained, complete story, which probably means it will borrow a lot of elements from later books, maybe specifically concerning Artemis' character arc, in order to deliver that 'emotional satisfaction and delivery' Branagh assures us. It will improve the quality if we judge the film on its own merit, rather than against the lost potential for as-yet non-existent sequels.
Step 6: Confront Your Skepticism
You have two choices.
Decide if you want to be a skeptic, nitpicking details for a thing we have waited nearly two decades for, because after all the waiting, we deserve perfection, right!?
Or decide if you want to enjoy every thrilling moment and development of this Impossibility. Because the Artemis Fowl film was an impossibility. It was an 'almost', a 'could have been', an 'if only'. And now it's an 'almost here', a 'will be' -but our if we keep holding onto our skepticism, it will continue to remain an 'if only.'
Most movies don't rise like a phoenix out of the ashes of 17 years in Prodcution Hell, but ours did.
Our Artemis Fowl film has already defied the odds once. Are we going to tame our skepticism to see if it will do it again?
Step 7: Watch this trailer breakdown from Artemis Fowl Confidential, because it will remind you WE'RE FINALLY GETTING A MOVIE, D'ARVIT!!!
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Good or bad, love it or hate it, we can't escape the fact that we're getting a movie, an actual, real-life, live-action, BIG BUDGET movie, with all the bells and whistles, and a crew that -especially from this interview (and also this one ) with Kenneth Branagh- obviously loves and respects the books and Eoin Colfer for writing them. Just like us. ^_^
8. Get Excited
Whether in the end we love the movie, tolerate it, shrug it off, or despise it, we're still getting an Artemis Fowl movie -and this new incarnation is bound to introduce the series to new generations, young and old. The Artemis Fowl fandom is about to get much, much bigger. And that is a very good thing.Right now, I can mention Artemis Fowl on a whim and only a handful of people ever know what I'm talking about. But just imagine this time next year: Artemis Fowl could be a household name.
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32flavasshoetique · 4 years
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Delicious outcome From an analysis that is statistical the typical porno Superstar
Delicious outcome From an analysis that is statistical the typical porno Superstar
Comes from a study that is deep the folks for the pornography markets.
It is possible to truly locate a information arranged on nothing these era, huh?
A statistically-inclined enthusiast for the kinky arts lately circulated the outcome from their substantial learn into porno stars. To gather their facts, he scraped 10,000 biographies from the websites person movie Database, which offers important data and movie records for just about any person who seems in virtually any main-stream film that is pornographic.
We had their outcome and plucked out these arbitrary knowledge, some of which were since unanticipated as being a upset dragon.
More common women porn superstar hair tone and bra dimensions correspondingly
The label will say the typical pornography celebrity could be a blonde with enormous bust, but brown locks is much more usual (39.1 % to 3percent) additionally the more bra size that is common.
The debut that is average for females
That era for females has-been exactly the same ever since the 1970s. People have begun getting back in young, though; the typical first era when you look at the ’70s was actually Exactly who states millenials don’t have a similar drive as seniors?
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The lightest is 7pounds. They need to truly form teams for a flick along.
percentage have actually a minumum of one tat
That’s about 9. percentage raised above typical, but about percentage less than I would personally’ve thought. Additionally, 43% have human body (non-ear) piercing, which will be 13% above medium.
This is certainly over the age of the typical novice mommy, but people, it’s strange in my experience to get more than that. Furthermore, best per cent of on-screen MILFs were over 40 and just percentage is over 0.
Boys render about one-third of exactly exactly just just what females generate
The pornography marketplace try busting the salary space very well, this indicates. Nonetheless, the small amount of people that go upwards as much as the top of the market makes it upwards in levels; for the 100 artists most abundant in loans on IAFD, 9are boys.
And throughout the normal men pornography super super star profession of 2years, that is a utter of 1,01women. The quintessential prolific feminine porno stars have intercourse with on average eight guys each year more than a 17.year profession, for a complete of 148.
It’s unusual for a female to just quit porn after one film
The figure is actually around 20 percentage. Nevertheless the most of female manage at the very least three movies and final on average 3 years. Those figures sounds about just like that which you discover professional football leagues.
All of those other common (phony) women last brands become like, Star/Starr, Fox/Foxx and flower. All of those other common (probably artificial) men last brands include James, Taylor, rock and Michaels.
The most typical (phony) first-name for females try Nikki
Accompanied by Jessica, Lisa, Kelly and Angel. The most frequent (perhaps artificial, possibly actual) first-name for males are David, accompanied by Tony, John, Mike/Michael and Steve. Them are doing the “Pet’s name + street you grew up on” move, unless porn stars disproportionately give their pets very mundane ’80s names and all grew up on Lee St so it seems very few of.
Sam try really a Midwest-born journalist that is classically-trained now residing and dealing in l . a . to be a creator, writer and business owner. So fundamentally, only a steaming that is whole of stereotypes.
Users, or “kinksters,” can find other people according to intercourse, range, fetishes, etc. therefore it’s effortless adequate to select the best individual who was additionally DTF. And unlike Tinder, you are sure that it is about gender through the beginning. That’s not saying you can’t see fall and someone in admiration (best wishes ideas were waylaid and all sorts of that jazz), but this will be an application for individuals searching for perverted intercourse.
In addition to their visibility pictures, it is possible to publish sensuous photo of your self and pick just who views all of all of them. You can erase photo you have delivered via information, but needless to say, individuals may do screengrabs, very don’t think as well secure giving gorgeous photos to complete strangers.
One best part with Whiplr was you can use if you’re unsure of what to say to someone that it offers icebreakers — lines. We know just what they feels as though creating the conversation that is perfect whenever we have actually a short-term head frost due to the fact people we’re looking at from the display is merely as well hot.
It could make better of us tongue-tied. I create internet dating recommendations for a full time income and I’ve have minutes whenever I’ve missing my personal marbles and disregarded every discussion beginning I’ve ever before find. And let’s only say I’ve stumble on a couple of.
You can find general public communities around the software where you could communicate with society about different information. Should you ever desired to know very well what Mr. gray is truly exactly about, next this is actually the place to begin the investigation. You’ll meet anyone from newbies to expert peeps that are BDSM.
Ever before desired a threesome? There’s an software for discovering that. You can forget fumbling at night when racking your brains on if several of friends and family could be upwards for this. Feeld can be a software for anybody to locate perverted intercourse you are, you need to be open minded— you can be straight or gay, but whatever.
Feeld let’s you choose whether you’re two different people interested in a differnt one to become listed on, or if you’re single trying to find two more singles, or a few. They is made by it simple to get the great threesome!
Often, studying the software now, your ponder exactly just just just what they’d have actually believed right back into the 70s, or 1980s if there was clearly “an software for that.” As well as what folks back once again within the 1700s will have stated:
The female porn star that are heaviest was 71pounds
“So, Mr. Darcy, how will you want a little romp with the chambermaid and girl Austen?”
The lot would, likely, bring fainted have they known where people ended up being proceeding. In those days your could potentiallyn’t also spend some time alone with any individual of this opposite gender, today you should use a software to get a threesome. Feeld assurances you communicate with genuine people. This means that: they’ve prohibited the spiders. Additionally they permit you to keep hidden from myspace pals.
Grindr is amongst the hottest homosexual hookup websites. Developed solely for your LGBT people, it is one of the better within the market. Grindr is about discovering anyone nearby — you can view just how a long way away everyone is, indicating it is possible to head to a dance club and find customers for the reason that nightclub.
leading porn that is male make love on display with on average 4 ladies each year
While sheer is about discovering some body quickly as the visibility should be erased, Grindr enables you to modify their settings therefore you’re looking for that you find exactly what. While Grindr can be utilized to find prefer, it is truly an software for hookups.
Lots of people don’t show their faces even on there — these are generally in search of discussions which attain dirty fast. This is likely not the app for you if you take offense to dirty talk. It’s additionally helpful in the event that you don’t would you like to roam the bars and pubs hunting for the next hookup.
Actually if you value the club world it is wonderful to learn which you don’t need certainly to placed all your valuable dreams into one evening associated with few days. It creates items a tad more relaxed, whether you’re looking really love or free video porn naughty america no-strings gender.
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theparaminds · 6 years
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Picture this: It's summer and you're biking along the dock by the beach, the sweltering heat beating down as you turn to your friend beside you signals it's time to go stop for ice cream, and in your eyes soundtracking it all is none other than Triathalon.
The New York-based band creates a sound that acts as an escapism to the mundane similarities of daily life, reminding us of the youthful July's we were free to be wherever until the sun fell. Their instrumentation acts as a megaphone to these emotions, utilizing relaxed guitars and ever-evolving synths uniquely song to song, mirroring the fact that no two summer days are the same. And of course, they allow their glossy vocals to glide over the already smooth river of sound to further strengthen the nostalgia their music gives.
Triathalon is a talent that comes few and far between, a sound so happy and carefree, yet so understanding and aware of the anxieties of our best moments. Their music brings us back to a time we wish we could exist in forever, giving us a fleeting few minutes of our untouchable adolescence. A gift that is as priceless as it is rare to receive.
PM: First question as always, how’s your day going and how are you?
T: I had two beers last night and I’m feeling rough as hell. But I’m currently waiting on a teriyaki chicken lunch special so things are looking up. Other than that, I’m doing pretty well thank you. Wondering if I can afford rent this month but also hoping I have enough to buy some LA pot.
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PM: To start, what’s your favourite film and a favourite scene from the said movie?
T: Probably Training day. It’s a novelty in my family. My favourite scene of all time is at the end where Denzel’s character is surrounded and he gives his classic speech “King Kong ain’t got shit on me”. I’ve memorized that whole scene since and performed it in front of a theatre class before.
PM: And like movies require aesthetic unity, you also as a band have cultivated a unique visual component to accompany your sound, what importance do you lend into representing yourselves visually as well as sonically?
T: We just try and keep in mind that our visual aesthetic should always be simple and fun. That means more to me in the long run. I’d like to be remembered for our music and less than our image.
PM: You’ve mentioned previously the importance of the internet towards this aesthetic and your starting as musicians, What would you say is the greatest gift to being artists with access to such a medium?
T: Probably the ability to connect with other artists that I would never meet otherwise. I’ve been able to talk and chill with so many other musicians because of the internet- it’s freaky. But it’s allowed us to make some crazy collaborations happen all because of social media and I always get a random FaceTime from someone I’ve never met but it’s cool cuz I like their music and it’s the future.
PM: A lot of artists we talk to find inspirations on the internet, did you find that was the same for you while finding your passion?
T: Honestly I was more inspired by how the internet affected me emotionally. I actually read a lot of old vintage magazines and books to find inspiration and aesthetic for our last album. Every time I’m on the internet something makes me sooo mad. I feel the opposite when I read something old. And I always find something new to me that makes me reimagine what I’m currently working on.
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PM: How would you say your original vision as artists compare to your current one? What experiences or moments helped push a change if there was one?
T: When we first started this band back in college I didn’t really have any vision for the band or think it was going to go anywhere. Our first tour really helped put things in perspective for us and started motivating us to take things more seriously. Fast forward to now this has become a real dream and we’re just really excited to keep making music together and hopefully tour outside the US.
PM: Do you have any upcoming work or projects fans should look out for? If so, how does it differ from past material and what’re some goals you have set going forward with new releases?
T:  We are currently working on an EP that’s been taking a while and probably won’t be done until the spring. I would say this is the jazziest we’ve ever gotten. I’m hoping we can focus more on these ideas when we get back from tour and hopefully be ready to play them live by the summer time.
PM: You also have an upcoming tour with the Marias, What has playing live with fans supporting meant to you and your attitude to your music compared to the begging?
T: I feel like when we’re performing in front of people who are actually there for the show it completely changes how we act. Feeding off of a crowds energy is everything to me. The more fun the crowd is willing to reflect on how many times I may or may not stage dive for no reason or hit someone’s weed pen on stage in front of my family. Going on this tour makes me excited because I know these crowds are bringing a lot of energy. And weed.
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PM: Have you found improvement and confidence in yourselves as performers? And how will this tour lend itself to your new found growth as artists?
T: Everytime we tour I always learn something new about myself as a performer that I try and work on for next time. It’s such a challenge finding the balance between how you feel and how you perform. We’ve definitely gotten a lot better at that and we just all seem more comfortable with each other and just being on stage in general. I would say if you were ever planning to see us live - this is the time. I’m wearing orange Adidas track pants every night.
PM: And final question, just because it would be a shame not to ask, what’s the significance of the extra ‘a’ in ‘Triathalon’ for you as a band, If there is one?
T: It was an accident :)
PM: Do you have anyone or anything to shout out or promote? The floor is yours!
T: Shout outs to Pink Siifu and my mom.
Follow Triathalon on Instagram and Twitter
Listen on Spotify and Apple Music
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