the m'sian government: depression and anxiety are on the rise among higher education students. we want to do a correlation study on this with an important factor that might have influenced this behaviour

also them:

noctis and aeron are probably the most developed ocs of mine i've had. not probably. definitely. hdkdjdjjd. the ones that come close to their level are characters that were basically self inserts. i mean i guess they're the only ones i've ever cared to give a proper consistent story going on and all. and maybe. i guess. since i'm starting to learn and unlearn stuff, they're like, the best outcome of uh. my general thoughts i guess. mmh. i want to talk but i can't.

anyway. general idea for noctis' story that has been in my mind for a while is that she and her twin who i'll call C, are very differrent. like, C is the 'better half' of it while noctis got the shorter end of everything. it wasn't as obvious when they were younger kids but only after their parents separated. the mom is a jealous and kinda controlling person, she has a high position in a company or whatever, and the dad is also somewhat a person with a slightly high position. yeah but it's all like just a cover because 1. they're not that well off but act like they're living high class or something, with perfect children that have good grades and are active and stuff. 2. is that the dad is not a faithful husband (which amplified the wife's suspicions) and the one time he was caught was because noctis had mistaken a jewellry thing she found lying around as a gift her dad wanted to give her mom or whatever instead and well since it belonged to like. another woman. the dad tried to cover it up and wanted to get it back but then things escalated and yea. ah who would win. a private detective gathering info for months vs 1 curious kid who just wants the best for their parents. anyway at this point the parents just, endure it and hide the fact from anyone because perfect family. all the while the company they work at is in hot watsr and that the parents kinda fell into their drinking habit tendencies (nothing bad happened directly to the kids the parents just argued alot) anywayi forgot to say. that the kids relationship witht he dad is good. like. hes not that much a present father but he takes them out to places and do fun stuff on the weekend. noctis' interest in acrobatics and stuff started when the dad brought them to a circus and stuff. so yea anyway the last straw was when the parents were drunk and had a big fight that led to bottles being thrown (no one got hurt) but the kids saw it on the sidelines(?) and the parents stopped arguing when they realised their kids were watching after things got overwhelming for noctis. so like fastforward a little they had a divorce and just some messed up manipulation shit by the mom that the dad wasn't allowed to see his kids again. some parent alienation shit going on and aghhh kid noctis sees this as their fault and neither parent explained to them both properly what had happened.

fast forward to school years C became a very high achiever student while noctis struggled. there were recommendatjon from teacher for special ed but the mom sees it as an insult and insists that she could tutor noctis herself. it also is worth noting that the mom kinda leans more to C than noctis and while she is harsher(?) to noctis, she doesn't like, neglect her needs (except emotionally ig). all this doesnt affect noctis and C's bond as siblings, theyre close as ever.

then highschool , noctis managed to enter a higher prestige school that her twin entered too. well, it was mostly normal but the school wass well known for their olympiad teams. noctis kinda became a delinquent and often skipped school things, while still managing to not get any disciplinary trouble, while her sister was a top student and tried hard to enter an olympiad team. even tho they're significantly different, noctis doesnt really have anything against and is protective of C. also she got a friend who she sort of helped from being bullied. the two kinda became best freidns from then on. meanwhile C got accepted into the team, which led to her being a target by people that were also competing to get in. something something an important exam came up and after that, C had been accussed of stealing the answer sheet and cheating. and there were like, camera footage or something. which would be a big fuckin problem no. anyway noctis maybe like, found evidence of answer sheet being found in the perpetraitors possession but ultimately. it led to noctid having to take the blame and with everything piled up, she was expelled. the mom was mad but also like, she didn't want to deal with any problems noctis had. she then enrolled noctis to a different school that sooner later met again with her friend, who had also moved schools because they wanted to join a certain team or band or something that only that school offered. so yey rejoice.

all this while i didnt mention noctis being really into acrobatics and have been training by herself (imprtant detail that i didnt talk about wtf) and she has been looking up on how to join those acrobatics schools or teams and stuff. and applying to institutions that offer these courses and stuff. welp, a long list of rejection but there was one school in particular that she did loom forward to get an audition of. it was one she had higher hopes in because it didnt have the requirements of having experience professional training and whatnot. well. the mom noticed she'd been really into something and asked and noctis explained about the whole thing. while the mom didnt object or anything, noctis probably asumes she thinks its dumb since the mom didnt allow or wanted to pay for noctis to attend acrobatics classes when she was a kid. but she doesnt think much of it, because lowkey. she does want to be accepted so she could show the mom something she has accomplished (and get parental affirmation ooughfhs). well no noctis doesnt get this luxury. because the letter came and the mom got to see it first, she saw noctis got accepted, but also realized that if she didnt get any sort of scholarship, the pay would be really expensive. so the mom kept the letter, though the jntention was that she wanted to discuss with noctis first on "better academic choices". then time went on and noctis found the letter while cleaning up her mom'a study room and. well. ouch. the betrayal and all the anger she had just bursted. worth mentionimg that the twin had known this before but didn't say anything. anyway noctis confronted this and while the mom explained it was an honest mistake or whatever, noctis didn't want to give any more benefit of doubt. not when the mom didn't give them the same benefit when they had been accused of that stealing and cheating stuff from high school.

so the desicion has been made. she ran away from home. with help from their uncle and his wife, that didn't have close relationship with noctis' mom anymore.

whoah. i've been talking so much. i should stop now because damn. noctis biography be long