we also got agua frescas there so overall kind of a baller afternoon

6/13/17

continued.. a good friend, angel, and brother, sam houston picked me up and we were originally going downtown to get my phone fixed then barton springs and his none AC cute old green truck, but we figured it out and went to lakeline, where id get my screen and a glass protector for iPhone for a low price of $85 .. then we went to bull creek greenbelt- and had a lot of fun. love that kid, he's so pure and honest and sweet. like keegan. we are just good together and i love his energy- its good energy for me. sam is so awesome. he literally drove everywhere and helped me and just talks about good and positive things and just is great. so happy to have him in my life. this is what life about. I'm hung up on old friends and love but its shifting , just like the seasons. I'm becoming surrounded by people who suit me and my situation at the time being- just like what my old friends did for me.. and its great. friends are like seasons, they come and go- but for a reason, and each one is great and important for the time being- to help plants (me ) / things grow. love everyone and love all in the moment and at time. love family forever. its coming together. no need to be upset at lost friendships, there is only gain. all my old friends do is smoke and hang. and its good to see. taco tuesday at home and elena and kev came again- love them. love elena. such a great friend. there for me. and we laugh always. just like me and dillion. today was soo good i was so energetic and happy t was awesome. then got to be around mama - papa was a bit distant but going to work on it we gonna see metallica. do not let egos in. just live in moment. dillion picked me up and we went to waterloo- i was so happy it was so fun we just listened to so much music. we were on the turntable trying all these records and i showed him supertrampand we listened to classic records and it was amazing and awesome!! and we laughed and made a lot of jokes! he's so awesome!! then we went to epoch coffee and he ordered an horchata and pizza but i got a free drink and pizza bc the dudes were so awesome!! life is so good!!! tomorrow will be better. today i chanted om a lot and got really into my chanting.. my energy was so strong. today was so good. me and dillion talked a lot of important things and music and i opened up too I'm to how I'm starting to not like sam bc he's been ignoring me and being distant.. it felt goo d to open up to someone about my pain . i shouldn't be shy about pain. i do miss sam,, but its not the right time. missing is selfish. i appreciate the times and memories we had together. and even then i appreciate his present always. things happen for a reason- perhaps I'm already surrounding myself with good people and there isn't enough time or room for both of us to be in each others lives right now. but i look back and love my brother. I'm in pain for him ignoring me, but i know in the end its ok and i love him and everything works out for a reason. i wouldn't say its hard being round him, but almost every little thing he does just brings me close to falling in love with him. or maybe i have. i love him. but more than others. his laugh. his voice. him. he's great. i listen to 60s and 70s love songs and think of him. oh sam, if it works out in the future. i will rembemr this moment where life let us focus on what we want to focus- living our full potential- with nothing standing in the way. and maybe you feel the same way? thats why you've been distant. I dont know. but i know its good for me. I'm not ignoring my feelings, i know what i feel for you, and to pursue a thing and act on my feelings for you in this time would be selfish, bc i know you specifically said you cannot deal with love interests. and we've had this conversation before how it wouldn't work out for us, or atleast right now. you are missing out though my friend. i am intelligent, beuaitufl, talented, independent, amazing, funny, incredible, logical, and a genius with music. I'm great. so are you, but I'm one of a kind baby.