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kyonoc · 8 months

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G and KK's obsessive habits.

possibly trigger warning for KK being an absolutely delusional, a walking talking menace of the society, mention of stalking; psychics ghost stories and very superstitious thing (or whatever english word call it) that you may not buy. proceed at your own risk

whew, never thought that I needed to put that in one of my shitpost but ah, well, also maybe bad formatting bc this is my first time posting with PC tumblr and wall of text bc i got lost in my thoughts-. not properly proofread

Does the G I mentioned every now and then use tumblr? Yes, he does. Does he know about my tumblr account? No, he doesnt (perhaps). But do I know his tumblr account? Yes, I do, and please dont even try to ask why I know it without him revealing it- I noticed I tend to have a tendency to suddenly be obsessive about someone/something and, uh, kind of proceed to cyberstalk them-. Intrigue me and I'll be more than motivated to find out about your likes, dislikes, your other social media, your birthday, what kind of person are you, your favourite rock band member, the user name you used five years ago, some post you posted in the 2010s and is deleted but still is archived somewhere on the internet because digital footprints sucks.

disclaimers: by all mean i do not condone this type of behavior. I do it is not the same as it being a right thing to do folks

It doesnt help that most people dont care/dont know about online privacy and security; and i have a knack for analyzing stuff, along with an observant personality. Doesnt take a rocket scientist to piece things together.

And Im interested in human and their business too. I cant help but keep sticking my nose in everything (the details about it is sitting in one of my shitpost drafts but, uhm, in short I'm just curious about human in general). What are they thinking? Can I find their thought patterns? Can I predict their reactions and possibly actions base on this information that I have collected about them? Why do they like this? Why do they write things like this, talk about this topic, have this speaking manner, phrase thing like this? Why do they express themselves like this? What do they mean they have something with something about something? Is this related to their background/childhood? Where do they come from? How did they come to develop such a personality? Alhaitham is absolutely right, everything is connected. You only need to take time to sit back and think. If you cant piece things together, then you can just use elimination to find your answer.

While I'm not insanely good at this detective game and can correctly deduct everything everytime (bc im no genius), I can still have a pretty good guess about the matter and an overall idea about said person.

(oh btw I dont like G romantically or something. Like i said in another post, i think the haitham verse one, I struggle to find myself loving someone genuinely in a romantically manner. G to me is an older sibling figure in which I happen to be obsessive about.) (nevermind that phrasing make it even more weird. what am I talking about I am weird)

(Also, just a feeling without any based logic, but I believe G may or may not know about this already)

I also tend to have a tendency to be super protective/possesive about what I see as mine. Mainly about objects and more abstract, non-physical stuff rather than people, which Im grateful for. Because I'll be most likely to k-ll that person (or track them down first before doing so), and then k- myself. Other mean of keeping them alive is possible, but it's too tedious and require too much effort anyway. Wont it be easier if we all rejoice in the afterlife, if it even exists?

Luckily that it wont happen anytime now lol. But for an explanation..

My good guess is its because I'm usually the one to give away too much without ever receiving in return, including willing to ignore my needs, preferences, feelings and gave up on my comfort for others. Which led me to be very very territorial/protective with what I decided that I wont share, or sacrifice.

While Im good with picking apart other people's stories, I dont even know why Im so... abnormal like this. I have vague guesses but nothing solid (and yet im supposed to be a therapist in the near future). Is this concerning? Yes, very, if you experience these tendencies and feelings/thoughts like me, please go visit a counselor/therapist asap. I'm just very well aware of my limits and my possibilities, and I dont see myself actually committing something that can be classify as "an actual menace to the society" anytime soon, so Im just chilling around. But if you are unsure, seek help. This is not something to be normalized nor is it fine.

Im not a goofy ah person i swore Im veri sirius!! G pls keep looking at me being scholarly pls? i even brought back the "an interesting fact about our world a day" series for u.. Im capable of talking in a more nerdy and science-y way if thats what u want? ill go far n beyond for u G u deserve better so pls be happi why do i sound like a lovesick yandere ew this would have been the tag ramblings but I dont want to accidentally tag sth people do search about bc this will not be a secret hideout anymore by then oh uh i just realize an unstable therapist sound SUPER concerning... d-dont worry?? I have really good self control, I promise

KK.

Post script KK here because I realized I forgot to add the superstitious part. Maybe it's because I'm so unstable that my suitor from the afterlife is also unstable lol. I couldn't really find an English word for it aside from paranomal romances made by the wattpad users, but basically a ghost decided he would like to have a crush on me. Or what would the term in my native language literally translate to, "afterlife lover/fate". I had suspicions before, but it wasn't confirmed until I told G about this and he said it is 🙈

So the story is: There was a period of time that I dreamt of this man who kept taking me out on dates and hangout/lingering in my dreams. I don't remember my opinion about him back then, but I do vaguely remember being interested in him. I mean, if a mysterious figure suddenly appeared in your dream several times, take you on date, and treat you nice, won't you be curious at least?

Well until he actually invited me back to his home and meet his parents (his mother to be specific).

That was one of the wildest dream I have ever had. It bewildered me so much I still remember it as clear as day till now. His family seems to like me, and decided we should have a marriage on the spot or something. I remember protesting (of course??), but ended up getting trapped in his house, and uh I kinda forgot/woke up after that. But after that day, all I ever dream about is I'm being chased by someone (I'm assuming him or his servants-), always on the run. There were so many failed escape attempts, but I remember the last time uh, I dream of such, I ran away with 3 children that god forbid is mine. After that I stopped the habit of writing/recording my dreams, and don't really remember much anyway.

Well, I assume the mysterious guy gave up or something. But turn out he is still very much here 🙈 I did a tarot reading with Mei (not the OC, my tarot deck. She's 7 this year, yay!!). She also confirmed that, yes, I have a ghost that love me. I asked G for more information after that, but he only gave me the description of the guy's appearance and didn't elaborate further (which lowkey checks out with my dream btw, I don't exactly remember his face). Mei did gave me some descriptions about his personality tho, with them being "possessive" (which will explain the second mark this time in between my thighs that looks awfully similar to a hickey), and a guy of science and/or art. Mhmm, it's not like Mei is not reliable, I'm just not a good tarot reader nor I am a good psychics. Mei did tell me more, but I'm sucks so.

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