#i dont enjoy anything and any positive emotion is fleeting. I'm not really proud of anything i do either. its just filling emptiness
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damn not even margaritaville is saving me from wanting to kill myself today
#reblog#you ever just like. crash?#just realizing i really need to find work soon but at the same time if i didnt have someone caring for me i would 100% not eat#and just starve to death#im really surprised i haven't died due to the elements yet to be honest. because it just doesnt occur to me to go warm up or to#go cool down in extreme temperature cause i cant feel anything and haven't been able to for a long time. and nothing brings me joy either#im only here because im too cowardly to kill myself but living is just existing in a haze of nothingness right#i dont enjoy anything and any positive emotion is fleeting. I'm not really proud of anything i do either. its just filling emptiness#and replacing the emptiness with movement#its not really a good existence but ive been living like this since i was a small child so why change i guess#regardless if i left people would move on and go about life. they'd remember me until they forget me and i become a memory anyways
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