Congratulations

“(y/n)” the nurse called out from the door. You stood up and walked over with an anxious smile. She handed you a clip board of medical information that you needed to update and then said she would grab you once it was completed and turned into the desk. You sat back down in the waiting room and flipped through the pages. Ugh I wish my mom was here...am I allergic to anything? I mean I don't think so but maybe Im just unaware of it..I don't remember having surgery-well my tonsils were removed but does that count? You were filling out the page to the best of your ability when your phone buzzed. You looked down and saw his name flash across the screen before immediately ignoring the call. You rushed to finish the paperwork and handed it in as the nurse came back. “Ready?” she asked.

“Yeah.” you followed her down the hall where she took your height and weight before escorting you into the room. You hopped onto the chair and anxiously tapped your foot as she checked your temperature, blood pressure, and oxygen levels. After finishing up she sat on the stool and smiled. 

“So, what are we here for today?”

“Uh...” you looked at your feet and shifted in the chair. “I think I may be pregnant.”

She smiled and nodded, “when was your last period?” 

“My period tends to be irregular but the last one I had recored was around two months ago.”

“Okay, were you on any kind of birth controls, or using any type of contraceptives?”

“I was on a birth control, am on a birth control but I missed a few days while I was on vacation which is when I believe this all happened.”

“Okay. Have you had any symptoms other than your missed period?”

“No, not really.”

“Okay. Have you taken any pregnancy tests at home?”

You nodded, your brain flashing back to that day. 

*Tears were flooding down your cheeks as he grabbed his last hoodie from your closet. All you wanted was for life to stop. You wanted him to say its okay, to make a change in the relationship, to stay. You sat on the bed crying as he walked out the door for the last time, taking with him every once of happiness you had. You ran to the bathroom, physically sick from the situation. It wasnt until you were hunched over the toilet that you realized the box of tampons had gone unopened. Missing periods was normal for you, they had never been regular. There was a slight doubt in your mind though. You had never missed a period more than once, so the fact that you were going on two means something was wrong. You had been under a lot of stress though, the distance, the lying, the excuses, all of it. Wiping the snot running from your nose, you had gotten up, washed your face, and thrown on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. You had mustered the courage to drive all the way to the drug store, purchase three pregnancy tests, and drive home. You had gotten three, you wanted to be sure. You wanted to be positive before making any other decisions. You sat on the bathroom floor after peeing in a cup and dipped each end, turning them over so you couldn't see the lines. You set a timer on your phone and closed your eyes. The only thing that could've possibly made this situation better was having him here. Of course he was gone already but you could still dream right? When the alarm on your phone went off you anxiously flipped them all over. Picking the first up and squinting you saw the dreaded double lines. Picking the second one up: dreaded double lines. And the third: PREGNANT in bold. You dropped them all on the counter and threw your phone. Of course, of course this this happens. He leaves and I end up pregnant with his baby..just like the movies except he won't be coming back. The rest of the day had been a blur. You had kind of just ignored the fact that there were three positive pregnancy tests in the bathroom. When your friend Luke had come over, you had cried into his arms. Cried about him leaving, about the break up, and finally about being pregnant. “(y/n) if you have positive pregnancy tests you need to call him.”

“No. I can't do that. Im not doing that.”

“(y/n)...hes the father, he deserves to know.”

“I may not even be pregnant though..they come up wrong all the time.”

“Not this wrong though.. this seems pretty sure.”

“I mean I've been stressed lately maybe its just a hormone thing.”

“I think you should go to the doctor and check. And if you are then you need to ball up and tell him. Seriously he needs to know”

You had nodded and cried some more before Luke left. Then you had called your doctor and made an appointment.*

Now here you were answering questions about your sex life and body. The nurse handed you a cup and showed you where the bathroom was. She said the test would take only around ten minutes but that she would be coming back to the room to do a blood test as well. Great, what a fun day... You quickly peed in the cup, leaving it on the counter for the nurse and wandered back to the room you had been assigned. Your hands were sweating and you felt dizzy. Having your blood drawn was probably your least favorite thing. In fact, you fainted almost every time. You checked your phone and thought about texting him...instead you texted Luke and told him how terrible the doctor was and that you were going to die while having your blood drawn. His only response was “lol” and you rolled your eyes. Typical guy.. The nurse came back in with a smile and sat down. “Well it does look like you are in fact pregnant so congratulations! We want to do a pelvic exam and ultra sound today just to see where everything is at and then have you come back for a blood draw in the future.” 

“Thanks.” you smiled and relief flooded your face. At least you didnt have to have your blood drawn today. On the other hand, you were pregnant, which was a whole other nightmare in its own. Not that you hadn't wanted and dreamed of having kids. You just thought it would be under different circumstances and that you would be married. 

“Im going to leave this gown here if you just want to change real quick we can do an ultrasound and hopefully see where the little baby is at.” She left for a minute and you quickly changed, your warm body freezing against the chair. When she came back in, she had an ultrasound machine on wheels. She started with the pelvic exam, lightly pressing all around your pelvic region. Satisfied she got out a tube of gel. “This is going to be cold at first.” You had nodded and watched as the clear gel squirted out and the ultrasound machine rubbed against your skin. You watched the screen as she moved it around looking for the baby. After what felt like months, she found a small white dot looking blob and smiled. “There it is...looks like you are measuring around 2 months right now which makes sense to when you thought everything happened.” She looked at you and smiled. “I know it can be a lot to take in..I’m guessing this is your first?”

“Yeah...its just a lot I guess.”

“It is, but it gets easier. Want to hear the baby’s heartbeat?”

You smiled and nodded. She pressed a button and you heard soft thumps. Tears slipped out of the corner of your eye and you wiped them away. “Thats pretty cool.”

She smiled and nodded before handing you a towel. “You are all set to go, we will have the pictures at the desk where you can make your next appointment. It was nice meeting you (y/n) good luck on your pregnancy and congratulations again.” You smiled and thanked her before climbing back into your clothes. 2 months pregnant...theres a living being in there...my baby...mine and Harry’s baby...oh god, what am I going to tell Harry? At the desk you scheduled another appointment and the receptionist handed you a picture saying congratulations. You looked at the little pea shaped blob inside you and grinned. Thats mine...thats inside me. 

Luke surprised you by standing at your car door with an ice cream sundae. “Soo did you faint? did you die? did you live?”

You laughed, “Yeah I lived. I didnt have my blood drawn at all actually.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” You took the sundae from him and smiled taking a bite, the hot fudge melting in your mouth. 

“Because of this.” you waved the picture in your hand and he grabbed it his mouth dropping. 

“Is that what I think it is? Do you have an alien growing inside you?”

“Lukeee seriously”

He laughed and looked into your eyes. “Okay okay but wow, a baby. That’s amazing. How are you feeling about it?”

“I feel like it hasn't sunk in yet....but that I’m really happy. I mean Ive always wanted a baby...why not do it now? I don't need a man in my life. Im a strong and independent woman.”

“That you are, but don't worry you will have me too. Im going to be a great uncle, its the best job anyways. But uh- are you going to tell Harry?” 

You shrugged your shoulders and continued eating. “(y/n)...it is his baby right?”

You rolled your eyes and nodded. “It cant be anyone else's.”

“So then you're going to tell him.”

“Idontknow” you mumbled, your mouth full of ice cream.

“You have to..you know he would want to know.”

“Theres a lot I wanted to know and he didn't tell me so I’m not sure yet. I haven't decided anything.”

“Okay...” he gave in and hugged you. “I’m happy for you I really am.” 

You hugged him back and smiled. “Thanks. I’m glad you're here...I’m glad I have someone to go through this with. And I’m so so glad you brought ice cream.”

“It’s okay. What are friends for right?” You nodded and jumped in the car after saying goodbye. You didn’t quite know who to call yet so you decided to just enjoy some time with yourself. You did the only logical thing you could think of after finding out that there was a baby inside you: you went shopping. You picked a local baby store and walked in, looking at all the onesies, furniture, blankets, binkies, and bears. 

“Hi! Anything I can help you find today?”

“No, thank you I’m just looking.”

“Okay well we are having a two for one deal on onesies and bibs so make sure to check those out.”

“I will thank you.” you smiled at the girl working but she kept looking back at you. 

“Are you (y/n)...the girl dating Harry Styles?” she asked shyly.

“I was dating him, not anymore actually.” She nodded and gave you the look, you know the one of pity and sorrow? You went back to shopping looking at all of the little outfits, there were so many choices. You also had no idea if you were having a boy or a girl..something told you it was a boy but obviously you had no clue whatsoever. You decided on a cute grey onesie with little animals on it...gender neutral. You also grabbed a cute binkie that had a stuffed bear attached to it. 

“These are super cute.” the girl said while checking out. “There's a whole collection that goes with this if youre interested.”

“No, that's okay this is enough for now?”

She nodded and wrapped the stuff in a bag. “So how far along are you?”

“Not very far, only a few months.”

“Well congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly and I hope to see you back here soon for more stuff.”

You smiled and nodded. “I for sure will be back.” 

You drove home, your phone blowing up the entire way with twitter notifications, instagram tags, and more. Inside you scrolled through it, only to find pictures of you shopping for the baby clothes. Your name attached to headlines stating you were expecting but not far along. Great...this is not what I need...how do they even know.... you were scrolling through more twitter notifications. Harry’s name was now being brought into this. Another daddy in One Direction? Harry Styles Expecting? ugh...this literally cannot be happening.. and then everything got worse.. Harry’s name and photo popped up on your screen as he called. “Harry?” you answered anxiously.

---

Part 1 of my new series, hope you all enjoy! Goal is to have another part posted tonight or tomorrow! This is kind of just an intro to the story, I’m hoping to have them be a little longer but let me know what you all would rather: longer and less stories (may take more time to upload) or shorter and more stories (updated a little faster)

Let me know what you think so far and what you think will happen.

xoxo

gasps. . . a prompt, fic, about the times where chloe was always late-

real quick, gotta write an essay due yday 

WAIT I DIDNT KNOTHIS WAS MY MAIN-

Nadine considers herself to be a good judge of character and, within about 3 minutes of knowing Chloe, she already knows Chloe’s trouble.

“You’re late, Frazer.”

“Nice to see you, too!”

She better not make it a habit.

//

She does. 

“You’re–”

“Yes, yes, I’m late,” Chloe says, bulldozing through a crowd with her 4-wheel suitcase and forcing Nadine to whirl around to catch up. “Let’s go!”

Rolling her eyes, Nadine follows suit towards the check-in desk where they weigh their suitcases. Of course, Chloe’s suitcase is a single gram off the limit and she’s very clearly smug about it, humming in satisfaction as the attendant sticks the tag on. Nadine has a suitcase and a duffel bag, both of which are a reasonable weight and decidedly under the limit. 

Nadine checks her watch. They have 45 minutes to get through security and get to their gate, very conveniently located on the other side of the airport. Chloe just grins at Nadine’s clear annoyance.

“Race you there?”

“I won’t ask them to wait if you’re late for boarding.”

Chloe just grins wider, says, “I’m touched,” and yanks her towards security. 

//

The necklace, an ugly thing, is right within her grasp. She cautiously tries the floor… nothing happens. So, she takes one step, two, and reaches out and–

Click of a disabled safety. 

“Ah, ah,” comes a deep voice, too pleased, too familiar. “I wouldn’t.”

Nadine tilts her head and lets out a long-suffering sigh. Just her luck. “Shame you aren’t dead.”

Rafe laughs like the movie villain that he is. “You never were good at finishing the job.”

“No,” Nadine says, shrugging, “I suppose not.”

“Well, then, what’s another failure?” He moves, rotates to her 3, and she sees him. A petty part of her enjoys the fact that he had not, at least, escaped the ship unscathed. There is scar tissue. A lot of it. “Oh, how the tables have turned.”

Nadine narrows her eyes. “Remember how I let you live?”

Rafe’s eye twitches. Again, the petty part of her relishes in the fact that he looks on the outside as unhinged as he is on the inside. “You left me to die.”

“To-may-to, to-mah-to.”

“This is going to feel so good,” he sneers.

Sarcastically, she says, “Would it help to know that I’m a changed woman?”

He flushes a deep shade of red, his lips twisting into a scowl. 

And, then, BANG! 

Blood spatters across her face and arm. Ah, there’s the change to her woman.

“I wish you wouldn’t provoke a man pointing a gun to your head,” Chloe huffs, stomping in just as Nadine mutters, “excellent timing as always.”

“You’re late,” she says, grimacing and wiping delicately at herself with the hem of her shirt.

Chloe snorts and yanks the necklace off the pedestal. “Some things never change.”

“I think some things do,” Nadine says, lightly. 

//

“Really?”

Nadine doesn’t turn around. Waits. 

Chloe approaches until Nadine can see her from the corner of her eye. She lifts her phone up, opens her texts, and reads: “You’re late.”

“Was I wrong?”

Pocketing her phone with a huff, Chloe leans an arm against the railing and regards Nadine’s profile. After a moment, Nadine turns her head, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. “…No, you weren’t.”

Nadine sighs, putting on a false air of indignation. “When am I ever?”

“Oi, no one ever holds me to it when I say meet me outside in 5 minutes. It just isn’t done. It’s a suggestion. An estimate.” Chloe sniffs and lifts up the arm behind her back, revealing a bottle of wine. “And, anyway, it was worth it.”

“I’m sure.”

“Well?”

“Well, what?”

Chloe huffs again but her eyes light up with mirth. “If you’re holding me to throwaway lines I’ve said, I’m holding you to yours.”

Nadine lifts an eyebrow. “And what exactly have I said to you that I have not followed through on?”

“You said, and I quote: just steal something and get me out of here, I’ll kiss you, have your firstborn.” Chloe shakes the bottle as if Nadine had somehow forgotten it was there. “I don’t care too much for children, but I stole something and here you are, outside, and, well, I’m waiting.”

“Retributive justice,” Nadine says, smoothly, unashamed, and grabs Chloe by the front of her shirt and yanks her down. 

//

On her ascent, 2 men go screaming over the edge of the cliff above her. When she finally hauls herself over, Nadine’s got a boot upon a rock, retying her laces. Behind her, a man lies prone. She has barely broken a sweat. 

“You’re late.”

“…you’re attractive.”

Nadine stops, looks up at Chloe through her lashes as Chloe makes a beeline for her. “Okay, I forgive you,” she says into Chloe’s mouth.

//

They’re on the pier again, dressed down this time. It had been an accident, really. They were just taking a walk, winding down from their last job, and had found themselves here. 

“I’m late.”

Nadine rolls her eyes and accepts the cotton candy Chloe passes over. “What’s new?”

Chloe hums, steps between her legs, and puts a hand on Nadine’s cheek, the other behind her neck. She kisses Nadine, ardently, into the railing. 

“You tell me,” she says once she’s satisfied and pulls away. 

Nadine laughs, eyes crinkled around the edges. “Never pegged you as a romantic.”

“I love to defy expectations.” When Nadine prods her in the stomach, she just smiles, obliging. “It would’ve been more romantic if I brought you here–our sweet, little place–in, like, 4 months. A whole year since you first threw yourself at me.”

“You coerced me.”

“It’s not my fault you’re so easily convinced.”

Nadine squints, organizes her face into as much of a pout as Nadine Ross could physically get it into. “Name one other occasion.”

“No, I’ll do you one better,” Chloe says, cockily. “Watch this: meet me here in 4 months, 8 o’clock.” She leans in as Nadine opens her mouth to reply which is the perfect opportunity to lay one very salacious, very public kiss on her. It takes all her willpower to slant her forehead against Nadine’s and pull away. When she does, she grins. “See you there.”

“Don’t be late–” Chloe laughs. “Eish, this doesn’t prove anything.”

//

The jeep comes crashing through the foliage, horn and guns blazing. Chloe jumps out, practically hurls her whole body in Nadine’s direction, and grabs her arm– 

Only, Nadine jerks away and shoots the last remaining merc in the head. 

“Look, Nadine, it’s not what you think. I had a plan. I have a plan.” She tries again, reaching out. Nadine pulls her arm to her chest and glares. “Really, it’s not–”

“What?” Nadine bites out. “It’s not what?”

Chloe’s about to respond, but Nadine’s really had enough of Chloe’s excuses. 

“What is it, then? Enlighten me.” She bunches her fists up but does not move them voluntarily. The shaking, she cannot help. “What plan could possibly involve making a deal with Shoreline? And without telling me shit?”

“I was going to–”

“Oh, fok off.” Nadine breathes out roughly, lifts her fist, the butt of her gun, to her temple and tries to rub away the headache. “You should’ve known. You know.”

“Nadine–”

“I said,” she says, quietly, turning away, “fuck. off.”

“Please. Just– Please–”

“It’s always the same with you. Too little, too late.” She’s hopping onto her motorbike, revving the engine, before Chloe can come up with a response. 

And then she’s gone.

//

Nadine doesn’t know why she’s here. She wasn’t going to come even before the Shoreline mess but, then, she was just messing with Chloe. She was going to make up for it, make Chloe laugh, and now, well. She doesn’t know. 

She doesn’t know. 

The details, she does know. She has friends, still, associated with Shoreline, and they had told her when she had gotten spectacularly drunk, thanks to a different friend, and sent a terse email to those very Shoreline friends. 

They had threatened her. Her mother. Her friends. Her–Nadine looks up at the sky and sighs–her girlfriend. Ja, there are so many things she could have done better but Nadine can understand, sort of. Nadine can sympathise. Most of all, Nadine just hurts. 

Below her, the water rises and falls, pushes in and pulls away. She looks down into the dark, swirling depths. Catches, in her peripheries, the time: 8:32. She shakes her head, at herself, at this whole situation, and stands fully. She turns, the side of the pier reaching out for the dark ocean is empty, and she leaves.

Then, she misses a step and almost stumbles. 

At the other end, leaning against a pillar, Chloe watches her. 

Approaching, Nadine gathers her wits and puts on her perfected poker face. When she’s close enough, Chloe pushes off the pillar and takes a few uncertain steps closer. They stop a good meter apart, silent for a few moments. 

“How long were you there?” Nadine finally asks. So unimportant, but it was her first thought. 

Chloe smiles, fond, wry, sad. “Yes, I was late. I, um.”

This time, Nadine waits for Chloe to explain.

“I was sitting in my car. Since 7:00.” Embarrassed, she glances over her shoulder and points over to the carpark. Looks back. 

“Ah,” is all Nadine says. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She takes another step closer but doesn’t try to touch Nadine. Just so she can speak quieter. “I knew. But I did it anyway and I… I am so sorry. I–” She seems to be at a loss for words, rubbing at her neck.

“What do you want?” Nadine asks, not harshly, just prompting. 

“I’m not asking for anything, for forgiveness. I just want to make it right.”

“That’s what you want?”

Chloe smiles again, this time it is just rueful. “You know what I want.”

Nadine does know. She’s just not ready. At least, she doesn’t think she is. 

After a long time, she opens her arms and it feels like everything from the past few months washes off her, disappearing with the tide, when Chloe collapses into her. “Will you wait?”

Chloe tucks her face into Nadine’s shoulder, lets out a shuddering breath. “I will.”

//

It’s been just over half a year.

Nadine doesn’t think she’s arrogant but she will take credit for Chloe’s new policy of showing up on time. (Of course, she hasn’t done a total 180°. She still refuses to believe Nadine when she tells Chloe that 15 minutes early is on time and on time is late.)

She does think she is quite forgiving. 

Chloe’s late, but only by a few minutes. 

Then, classic Chloe, she comes charging in and scoops Nadine’s hand into her own. “Sorry for keeping you waiting.”

Nadine shrugs. “It’s alright.”

Chloe laughs. “Of course it is, you don’t even want to be here.”

“So you did it for me.”

“Well, yes, in a way; I was texting Nate to tell Sam to keep his trap shut about Shoreline.” Nadine’s face darkens, but Chloe starts to pull her towards the Fisher-Drake house and continues on: “Anyway, I think we should move in together.”

Nadine gapes.

//

It’s been over 3 years.

Nadine, drunk, adjusts her ill-fitting tuxedo and hums an old favourite. The man taps his foot, checks the clock on the wall. 

“Um,” he starts. 

Nadine smiles, blandly. “She’ll come.”

“Are you sure–”

“Ja.”

Vindication comes but 2 seconds later. The doors sweep open with a bang and in comes Chloe, stumbling over a plastic chair. 

“I’m here, I’m here, I’m here,” she says in a rush, yanking her dress from around the arm of the chair and, when she’s free, turning to flash a megawatt at Nadine. “Hello.”

“Hi,” says Nadine, lightheaded. Before Chloe can apologise for her tardiness, as she does now, Nadine beckons her over, impatient. “Yes, yes, you are forgiven.”

“I went to buy you flowers,” she points out as if she isn’t hugging a massive bouquet to her chest. “Really expensive.”

Nadine, graciously, accepts it and, in quick succession, dumps it into the officiator’s arms. 

It takes them another hour to get married. 

//

It’s been almost 50 years. 

She sits on a bench next to a weeping stranger, leans closer onto her cane to rub a hand on the person’s back. 

“Who is it?” Nadine asks after handing over a packet of tissues.

“My father,” murmurs the stranger, a girl, then sniffles. 

Nadine nods. “Did he make you happy?”

“No. Sometimes.” The girl looks down at her feet, eyes red-rimmed. “But I don’t know why I’m sad.”

“You feel what you feel,” Nadine says, sagely. The girl gives her a wobbly smile and introduces herself. 

After she gets her breathing in control, she gestures vaguely and asks, “What about you?” 

Nadine smiles. “Just thinking about her makes me happy.”

“Who is ‘her’?” she asks, frank in the way only children and teenagers can pull off without seeming rude. 

Nadine doesn’t say anything for a moment, looking out at the grass, the blue skies, Chloe’s name. Then, she looks back and laughs, so very warmly, and says, “My late wife.”

How I Came To "Believe” In Safe Injection Sites

So last night I’m at a town hall event on drug addiction and someone mentions safe injection sites in the audience. My heart begins to pound from having my hand up and hoping to get called on, so I can ask about this, among other topics.  The panel looks around at each other trying to see who will bite first, as it's clearly a controversial topic. Finally, the one “token recovery guy” speaks up, “You know, studies are positive, but people are very opposed to the idea, and the last time we had a discussion about it a fight nearly broke out.”And so, I wanted to get up. And I wanted to have that fight.  But I was taught to cease fighting anything and anyone. What about fighting substance use disorder? I thought my disease was doing pushups? Certainly, this disease is wreaking havoc across our country, especially with the younger generations, and what are we, as a community, prepared to do about it?  Who is fighting on the front lines? While communities claim “not in my backyard” absolution, so do the “anonymous people” who are in recovery in this country. They are told to have no opinion on outside issues. But, to me, this isn’t an outside issue, because the part of me that understands service is the backbone of my recovery, demands something other than pretending that there aren’t options available to people still suffering.  Thankfully, I have met many who are rank and file generals in this fight, however compared to the #’s we could have, it is disappointing, and makes creating change in our communities even more difficult.  Clearly, safe injection options are not a solution, but saying “he or she must not have wanted it enough” when they drop out of the only pathway we are offering, which for mainstream recovery is a 12-step program, is an even less valid answer.  12-step can be successful, alongside other treatment modalities, but it is often seen as “the” solution and not “a” solution.And what about statistics? Research shows that overdose rates decrease around the area of the safe injection site. If this statistic alone isn’t a good enough reason to support them how about that the rate of people who were entering treatment in those areas increased? Look, don’t get me wrong, I was once on the other side of this conversation. I had a lot of misguided beliefs before I entered recovery. I once thought when I was 16 and my drinking career had just begun, that if I could get my dad to give me driving lessons while I was drinking, I wouldn’t have a drinking and driving problem!Clearly being open-minded that my own thinking could be wrong is an important aspect of recovery, and so while I was made to think I should be open-minded about the program, I was indoctrinated to believe recovery was a static black-and-white thing, and that I was a miracle because I didn’t use, and while this may be true, it also underlined another assumption, that those who didn’t make it were not entitled to these miracles.  The idea that there is a level of participation required for someone to enter recovery is not lost on me, but the fact of the matter is, more and more people, especially those from the younger generations, are struggling to find their way in recovery and our answer to the staggering overdose and relapse rates is “they must not have been ready.”  So now what? What do we do with people who aren’t ready? Tell them to go out and give their substances another try? Drugs which could easily kill them in one shot? In my mind, if someone is not ready for abstinence-based recovery it isn’t that they have failed, it’s that they may not have reached that point yet, they may never reach that point, and who are we to say what that should look like.  There are many people who reach a significant “bottom,” only to find themselves using again. Can anyone say, who is honest with themselves, that a “bottom” is what creates recovery? Surely it can help, but there are many who hit that point and beyond, and for those people, while their lives continue to crumble around them, what is available?To me, this is why we need to offer as many solutions to this problem as we can. Not offering alternative methods like safe injection sites, or medically assisted treatment, is like saying to someone who has diabetes they can’t go to the hospital for support, or shouldn’t have to take insulin, they should just use their higher power, and if they can’t clearly, they don’t want to be healthy enough.Change is possible without necessarily being at a point of relying on grace only. While I believe in grace and have my own stance on faith, I believe this “coveted” winners circle of recovery is an issue and is not saving lives, especially amongst young people.Do I believe willingness is an important key to recovery? Certainly, yet how many of us become willing along our path of using? So why would we not want to create opportunities for the people who are using, to not only stay alive, but be near recovery support services?  When someone has a reoccurrence of use, do we no longer consider them in recovery? Therefore, by that logic, anyone who is in active use has the potential to effect this same change in their lives. Hospitals, fire houses, police stations, med express, anywhere, anytime someone wants out of the cycle, it should be as easy as getting a flu shot. It is that easy to get high or drunk.Finding drugs is way easier than finding recovery, unfortunately, we don’t seem to be making much headway on that stat. It shouldn’t be so difficult to get help, and yet it is. Clearly, we have quite a way to go, and so while we stand at the frontlines arguing for much-needed treatment options, housing options, peer support options for people in early recovery, we need to also keep our eye on how we can affect those who haven’t gotten to that point yet.    So, I didn’t get up and fight at the town hall meeting, because I know that the only way change will be affected is if compassion and reason win over misunderstanding and hatred. The only way we can win, and by we, I mean the parents who lost children to overdoses, and by we, I mean the advocates who mentor peers who end up overdosed in alley ways, and never make it home to their families, is if we can convince society that shaming people is not working and giving them opportunities for change are the best ideas we have currently.   I understand clearly that this option is seen as enabling to some. That we are encouraging people to use by providing needles and a safe place to go. The concept is not lost on me, but current models are not working. Prevention talks often fall on deaf ears, and while it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t continue to try to reach people, it does mean we need to get real about whether we are doing all we can do to help prevent overdose deaths in this country. If someone who is opposed has a better idea of how we can get the people in our communities, who are using illicit substances, out of the shadows and into the light where we can see them and help them, please by all means share it.  To me the big bad wolf in this situation is that we would have to admit as a community, that people in our community, have heroin problems. We don’t like to admit that, and unfortunately it's killing people.  I would argue that whatever motives you have for being opposed to this option, check them against the idea that centralizing use as best as possible helps to a.) measure your community and its needs, b.) provide safety and support to a vulnerable part of the population c.) encourage the next step for people to move on with their lives and d.) minimize the risk to police and health care workers responding to overdoses.  One of these reasons alone in my mind is enough to at least give it a try. Saving just one life means so much, especially if it is your child, your brother, your sister or your parent. Sharing this pain with too many people in too short of a time period is how I came to believe in safe Injection sites. Erik Beresnoy is a father, advocate, and a writer on topics that range from recovery, and spirituality to music and philosophy.  Erik has been an active member of the recovery movement since 2008, when he himself entered recovery, and began to not only repair his life but to also seek help repair his community by working to implement new strategies. His current projects include Empowerment Coaching for the Ammon Foundation, and implementing a transformational program in NYC called Dare to Dream for Synergy Education. He is a certified recovery coach as well as a board member for Rockland Recovery Homes. His other works can be viewed at soberspiritmeditation.com.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 http://bit.ly/2Dc0qgz

How I Came To "Believe” In Safe Injection Sites

So last night I’m at a town hall event on drug addiction and someone mentions safe injection sites in the audience. My heart begins to pound from having my hand up and hoping to get called on, so I can ask about this, among other topics.  The panel looks around at each other trying to see who will bite first, as it's clearly a controversial topic. Finally, the one “token recovery guy” speaks up, “You know, studies are positive, but people are very opposed to the idea, and the last time we had a discussion about it a fight nearly broke out.”And so, I wanted to get up. And I wanted to have that fight.  But I was taught to cease fighting anything and anyone. What about fighting substance use disorder? I thought my disease was doing pushups? Certainly, this disease is wreaking havoc across our country, especially with the younger generations, and what are we, as a community, prepared to do about it?  Who is fighting on the front lines? While communities claim “not in my backyard” absolution, so do the “anonymous people” who are in recovery in this country. They are told to have no opinion on outside issues. But, to me, this isn’t an outside issue, because the part of me that understands service is the backbone of my recovery, demands something other than pretending that there aren’t options available to people still suffering.  Thankfully, I have met many who are rank and file generals in this fight, however compared to the #’s we could have, it is disappointing, and makes creating change in our communities even more difficult.  Clearly, safe injection options are not a solution, but saying “he or she must not have wanted it enough” when they drop out of the only pathway we are offering, which for mainstream recovery is a 12-step program, is an even less valid answer.  12-step can be successful, alongside other treatment modalities, but it is often seen as “the” solution and not “a” solution.And what about statistics? Research shows that overdose rates decrease around the area of the safe injection site. If this statistic alone isn’t a good enough reason to support them how about that the rate of people who were entering treatment in those areas increased? Look, don’t get me wrong, I was once on the other side of this conversation. I had a lot of misguided beliefs before I entered recovery. I once thought when I was 16 and my drinking career had just begun, that if I could get my dad to give me driving lessons while I was drinking, I wouldn’t have a drinking and driving problem!Clearly being open-minded that my own thinking could be wrong is an important aspect of recovery, and so while I was made to think I should be open-minded about the program, I was indoctrinated to believe recovery was a static black-and-white thing, and that I was a miracle because I didn’t use, and while this may be true, it also underlined another assumption, that those who didn’t make it were not entitled to these miracles.  The idea that there is a level of participation required for someone to enter recovery is not lost on me, but the fact of the matter is, more and more people, especially those from the younger generations, are struggling to find their way in recovery and our answer to the staggering overdose and relapse rates is “they must not have been ready.”  So now what? What do we do with people who aren’t ready? Tell them to go out and give their substances another try? Drugs which could easily kill them in one shot? In my mind, if someone is not ready for abstinence-based recovery it isn’t that they have failed, it’s that they may not have reached that point yet, they may never reach that point, and who are we to say what that should look like.  There are many people who reach a significant “bottom,” only to find themselves using again. Can anyone say, who is honest with themselves, that a “bottom” is what creates recovery? Surely it can help, but there are many who hit that point and beyond, and for those people, while their lives continue to crumble around them, what is available?To me, this is why we need to offer as many solutions to this problem as we can. Not offering alternative methods like safe injection sites, or medically assisted treatment, is like saying to someone who has diabetes they can’t go to the hospital for support, or shouldn’t have to take insulin, they should just use their higher power, and if they can’t clearly, they don’t want to be healthy enough.Change is possible without necessarily being at a point of relying on grace only. While I believe in grace and have my own stance on faith, I believe this “coveted” winners circle of recovery is an issue and is not saving lives, especially amongst young people.Do I believe willingness is an important key to recovery? Certainly, yet how many of us become willing along our path of using? So why would we not want to create opportunities for the people who are using, to not only stay alive, but be near recovery support services?  When someone has a reoccurrence of use, do we no longer consider them in recovery? Therefore, by that logic, anyone who is in active use has the potential to effect this same change in their lives. Hospitals, fire houses, police stations, med express, anywhere, anytime someone wants out of the cycle, it should be as easy as getting a flu shot. It is that easy to get high or drunk.Finding drugs is way easier than finding recovery, unfortunately, we don’t seem to be making much headway on that stat. It shouldn’t be so difficult to get help, and yet it is. Clearly, we have quite a way to go, and so while we stand at the frontlines arguing for much-needed treatment options, housing options, peer support options for people in early recovery, we need to also keep our eye on how we can affect those who haven’t gotten to that point yet.    So, I didn’t get up and fight at the town hall meeting, because I know that the only way change will be affected is if compassion and reason win over misunderstanding and hatred. The only way we can win, and by we, I mean the parents who lost children to overdoses, and by we, I mean the advocates who mentor peers who end up overdosed in alley ways, and never make it home to their families, is if we can convince society that shaming people is not working and giving them opportunities for change are the best ideas we have currently.   I understand clearly that this option is seen as enabling to some. That we are encouraging people to use by providing needles and a safe place to go. The concept is not lost on me, but current models are not working. Prevention talks often fall on deaf ears, and while it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t continue to try to reach people, it does mean we need to get real about whether we are doing all we can do to help prevent overdose deaths in this country. If someone who is opposed has a better idea of how we can get the people in our communities, who are using illicit substances, out of the shadows and into the light where we can see them and help them, please by all means share it.  To me the big bad wolf in this situation is that we would have to admit as a community, that people in our community, have heroin problems. We don’t like to admit that, and unfortunately it's killing people.  I would argue that whatever motives you have for being opposed to this option, check them against the idea that centralizing use as best as possible helps to a.) measure your community and its needs, b.) provide safety and support to a vulnerable part of the population c.) encourage the next step for people to move on with their lives and d.) minimize the risk to police and health care workers responding to overdoses.  One of these reasons alone in my mind is enough to at least give it a try. Saving just one life means so much, especially if it is your child, your brother, your sister or your parent. Sharing this pain with too many people in too short of a time period is how I came to believe in safe Injection sites. Erik Beresnoy is a father, advocate, and a writer on topics that range from recovery, and spirituality to music and philosophy.  Erik has been an active member of the recovery movement since 2008, when he himself entered recovery, and began to not only repair his life but to also seek help repair his community by working to implement new strategies. His current projects include Empowerment Coaching for the Ammon Foundation, and implementing a transformational program in NYC called Dare to Dream for Synergy Education. He is a certified recovery coach as well as a board member for Rockland Recovery Homes. His other works can be viewed at soberspiritmeditation.com.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 https://www.thefix.com/how-i-came-believe-safe-injection-sites

How I Came To "Believe” In Safe Injection Sites

So last night I’m at a town hall event on drug addiction and someone mentions safe injection sites in the audience. My heart begins to pound from having my hand up and hoping to get called on, so I can ask about this, among other topics.  The panel looks around at each other trying to see who will bite first, as it's clearly a controversial topic. Finally, the one “token recovery guy” speaks up, “You know, studies are positive, but people are very opposed to the idea, and the last time we had a discussion about it a fight nearly broke out.”And so, I wanted to get up. And I wanted to have that fight.  But I was taught to cease fighting anything and anyone. What about fighting substance use disorder? I thought my disease was doing pushups? Certainly, this disease is wreaking havoc across our country, especially with the younger generations, and what are we, as a community, prepared to do about it?  Who is fighting on the front lines? While communities claim “not in my backyard” absolution, so do the “anonymous people” who are in recovery in this country. They are told to have no opinion on outside issues. But, to me, this isn’t an outside issue, because the part of me that understands service is the backbone of my recovery, demands something other than pretending that there aren’t options available to people still suffering.  Thankfully, I have met many who are rank and file generals in this fight, however compared to the #’s we could have, it is disappointing, and makes creating change in our communities even more difficult.  Clearly, safe injection options are not a solution, but saying “he or she must not have wanted it enough” when they drop out of the only pathway we are offering, which for mainstream recovery is a 12-step program, is an even less valid answer.  12-step can be successful, alongside other treatment modalities, but it is often seen as “the” solution and not “a” solution.And what about statistics? Research shows that overdose rates decrease around the area of the safe injection site. If this statistic alone isn’t a good enough reason to support them how about that the rate of people who were entering treatment in those areas increased? Look, don’t get me wrong, I was once on the other side of this conversation. I had a lot of misguided beliefs before I entered recovery. I once thought when I was 16 and my drinking career had just begun, that if I could get my dad to give me driving lessons while I was drinking, I wouldn’t have a drinking and driving problem!Clearly being open-minded that my own thinking could be wrong is an important aspect of recovery, and so while I was made to think I should be open-minded about the program, I was indoctrinated to believe recovery was a static black-and-white thing, and that I was a miracle because I didn’t use, and while this may be true, it also underlined another assumption, that those who didn’t make it were not entitled to these miracles.  The idea that there is a level of participation required for someone to enter recovery is not lost on me, but the fact of the matter is, more and more people, especially those from the younger generations, are struggling to find their way in recovery and our answer to the staggering overdose and relapse rates is “they must not have been ready.”  So now what? What do we do with people who aren’t ready? Tell them to go out and give their substances another try? Drugs which could easily kill them in one shot? In my mind, if someone is not ready for abstinence-based recovery it isn’t that they have failed, it’s that they may not have reached that point yet, they may never reach that point, and who are we to say what that should look like.  There are many people who reach a significant “bottom,” only to find themselves using again. Can anyone say, who is honest with themselves, that a “bottom” is what creates recovery? Surely it can help, but there are many who hit that point and beyond, and for those people, while their lives continue to crumble around them, what is available?To me, this is why we need to offer as many solutions to this problem as we can. Not offering alternative methods like safe injection sites, or medically assisted treatment, is like saying to someone who has diabetes they can’t go to the hospital for support, or shouldn’t have to take insulin, they should just use their higher power, and if they can’t clearly, they don’t want to be healthy enough.Change is possible without necessarily being at a point of relying on grace only. While I believe in grace and have my own stance on faith, I believe this “coveted” winners circle of recovery is an issue and is not saving lives, especially amongst young people.Do I believe willingness is an important key to recovery? Certainly, yet how many of us become willing along our path of using? So why would we not want to create opportunities for the people who are using, to not only stay alive, but be near recovery support services?  When someone has a reoccurrence of use, do we no longer consider them in recovery? Therefore, by that logic, anyone who is in active use has the potential to effect this same change in their lives. Hospitals, fire houses, police stations, med express, anywhere, anytime someone wants out of the cycle, it should be as easy as getting a flu shot. It is that easy to get high or drunk.Finding drugs is way easier than finding recovery, unfortunately, we don’t seem to be making much headway on that stat. It shouldn’t be so difficult to get help, and yet it is. Clearly, we have quite a way to go, and so while we stand at the frontlines arguing for much-needed treatment options, housing options, peer support options for people in early recovery, we need to also keep our eye on how we can affect those who haven’t gotten to that point yet.    So, I didn’t get up and fight at the town hall meeting, because I know that the only way change will be affected is if compassion and reason win over misunderstanding and hatred. The only way we can win, and by we, I mean the parents who lost children to overdoses, and by we, I mean the advocates who mentor peers who end up overdosed in alley ways, and never make it home to their families, is if we can convince society that shaming people is not working and giving them opportunities for change are the best ideas we have currently.   I understand clearly that this option is seen as enabling to some. That we are encouraging people to use by providing needles and a safe place to go. The concept is not lost on me, but current models are not working. Prevention talks often fall on deaf ears, and while it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t continue to try to reach people, it does mean we need to get real about whether we are doing all we can do to help prevent overdose deaths in this country. If someone who is opposed has a better idea of how we can get the people in our communities, who are using illicit substances, out of the shadows and into the light where we can see them and help them, please by all means share it.  To me the big bad wolf in this situation is that we would have to admit as a community, that people in our community, have heroin problems. We don’t like to admit that, and unfortunately it's killing people.  I would argue that whatever motives you have for being opposed to this option, check them against the idea that centralizing use as best as possible helps to a.) measure your community and its needs, b.) provide safety and support to a vulnerable part of the population c.) encourage the next step for people to move on with their lives and d.) minimize the risk to police and health care workers responding to overdoses.  One of these reasons alone in my mind is enough to at least give it a try. Saving just one life means so much, especially if it is your child, your brother, your sister or your parent. Sharing this pain with too many people in too short of a time period is how I came to believe in safe Injection sites. Erik Beresnoy is a father, advocate, and a writer on topics that range from recovery, and spirituality to music and philosophy.  Erik has been an active member of the recovery movement since 2008, when he himself entered recovery, and began to not only repair his life but to also seek help repair his community by working to implement new strategies. His current projects include Empowerment Coaching for the Ammon Foundation, and implementing a transformational program in NYC called Dare to Dream for Synergy Education. He is a certified recovery coach as well as a board member for Rockland Recovery Homes. His other works can be viewed at soberspiritmeditation.com.

It’s An Art: 5 Reasons The Pregame Will Always Beat The Party

Its 2 pm on a Sunday, and you pop a couple of Advils in your mouth and throw them back with some bathroom sink water.

What’s worse than the headache and overall nausea is the fact you have literally accomplished nothing all day, and tomorrow is Monday.

You think hard about last night; it gives you a headache.

You lie on your back in your bed, take a deep breath, let the Advils kick in and try again.

What happened last night?

Oh, thats right.

You blew $150 at the bar buying shots, only to leave immediately after because for some reason, there are no trains that run between 1 and 4 am.

You didnt get with any girls because face it: You never actually get with any girls you meet at the bar.

You realize none of the expectations you had going into the night actually came true.

After several weekends of this repeated cycle, you start to realize something.

Your favorite part of the night is before the night even starts.

You check the facts, rerun the logic in your head and finally conclude the best part of the night is the pregame.

What about the pregame makes it the best part? Im glad you asked.

1. The excitement is real.

Before the night begins, you send out a group text to the squad to find out the plans for the evening.

You find out some people you havent seen in a while are coming out that night, so you are pumped to see them again.

Its about to be the all-admired Saturday night, everyones favorite part of the week.

You got amped up working out earlier in the day, and you are ready to take on the night.

You run around picking out what you want to drink, what you want to wear and how youre getting to the party.

There is nothing more exciting than a night about to get underway.

Everything is in front of you, and sometimes, the tease is the most exciting part.

2. It is much cheaper.

And when I say cheaper, I mean it costs almost nothing.

I can go to the local bar to try to fight my way onto the dart board, pay $8 for a beer plus tip and sweat my clothes off because the air conditioning isnt working in the building.

Or, I can pick up a 12-pack at 7-Eleven for $8 plus tax, set up the dart board in my basement and enjoy playing whatever music I want in the comfort of my own home.

Ill often have all my friends over to pregame, and when its time to go, well decide to stay because we would just be paying more money to do the exact same thing we are already doing out at a bar.

3. Anything can happen.

Its true; the possibilities are endless.

At the pregame, you havent gone out yet and blown it with every girl you’ve tried to pick up.

You havent tried to fight the bouncer and gotten kicked out of the venue.

You havent spilled your $12 drink all over your favorite shirt and had to wear it soaked the rest of the night.

At the pregame, the future is a dream where anything can happen.

As far as you are concerned, it is going to be the best night ever.

Youre going to slay it on the dance floor, bring home the best looking girl and forever remember the night as legendary.

The excitement cultivates into a joyous hype of happiness about what the evening ahead may bring.

4. Bonding with people is possible.

Everyone at the pregame has a reason for being there, even if it is a third-connection mutual friend.

When you are at the pregame, you have a reason to talk to people you dont know because it isnt awkward if you introduce yourself.

I mean, you are all at the same party, arent you?

When you get to the bar, everyone except the especially outgoing friends stick togetherand mainly talk tothe people they already know.

At the pregame, you have a much better chance at getting to know someone new and bond on a deeper level.

Most of the time, you see the chemistry between two people click at the pregame.

By the time you all head out for the night, you already know whats going to happen from there.

5. You can actually have fun.

Yes, some bars have darts or pool, but usually theres a long line and it’s overly crowded.

At the pregame, you can make a new friend playing flip cup, make a new enemy playing slap cup or enjoy unleashing your inner Kobe playing beer pong.

You arent going to get the chance to have this much fun when you are out, probably because you are going to spend half an hour waiting in line to buy an overpriced drink.

Sure, some venues can offer a good time, but you arent going to get a chance to showcase all the skills you learned in college from years of partying when you are out on the town.

Now dont get me wrong; it is definitely possible to have a great time when you are out with a good group of people, but again, the key is the people you are with, not the place you are at.

No matter where you go, it is always going to come down to the friends you have around you.

So maybe next time when you and your crew cant decide where you want to go for the night, just let the pregame ride its way out.

You never know; when you are pregaming and the whole night is in front of you, anything is possible.

source http://allofbeer.com/its-an-art-5-reasons-the-pregame-will-always-beat-the-party/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2018/02/its-art-5-reasons-pregame-will-always.html

It’s An Art: 5 Reasons The Pregame Will Always Beat The Party

Its 2 pm on a Sunday, and you pop a couple of Advils in your mouth and throw them back with some bathroom sink water.

What’s worse than the headache and overall nausea is the fact you have literally accomplished nothing all day, and tomorrow is Monday.

You think hard about last night; it gives you a headache.

You lie on your back in your bed, take a deep breath, let the Advils kick in and try again.

What happened last night?

Oh, thats right.

You blew $150 at the bar buying shots, only to leave immediately after because for some reason, there are no trains that run between 1 and 4 am.

You didnt get with any girls because face it: You never actually get with any girls you meet at the bar.

You realize none of the expectations you had going into the night actually came true.

After several weekends of this repeated cycle, you start to realize something.

Your favorite part of the night is before the night even starts.

You check the facts, rerun the logic in your head and finally conclude the best part of the night is the pregame.

What about the pregame makes it the best part? Im glad you asked.

1. The excitement is real.

Before the night begins, you send out a group text to the squad to find out the plans for the evening.

You find out some people you havent seen in a while are coming out that night, so you are pumped to see them again.

Its about to be the all-admired Saturday night, everyones favorite part of the week.

You got amped up working out earlier in the day, and you are ready to take on the night.

You run around picking out what you want to drink, what you want to wear and how youre getting to the party.

There is nothing more exciting than a night about to get underway.

Everything is in front of you, and sometimes, the tease is the most exciting part.

2. It is much cheaper.

And when I say cheaper, I mean it costs almost nothing.

I can go to the local bar to try to fight my way onto the dart board, pay $8 for a beer plus tip and sweat my clothes off because the air conditioning isnt working in the building.

Or, I can pick up a 12-pack at 7-Eleven for $8 plus tax, set up the dart board in my basement and enjoy playing whatever music I want in the comfort of my own home.

Ill often have all my friends over to pregame, and when its time to go, well decide to stay because we would just be paying more money to do the exact same thing we are already doing out at a bar.

3. Anything can happen.

Its true; the possibilities are endless.

At the pregame, you havent gone out yet and blown it with every girl you’ve tried to pick up.

You havent tried to fight the bouncer and gotten kicked out of the venue.

You havent spilled your $12 drink all over your favorite shirt and had to wear it soaked the rest of the night.

At the pregame, the future is a dream where anything can happen.

As far as you are concerned, it is going to be the best night ever.

Youre going to slay it on the dance floor, bring home the best looking girl and forever remember the night as legendary.

The excitement cultivates into a joyous hype of happiness about what the evening ahead may bring.

4. Bonding with people is possible.

Everyone at the pregame has a reason for being there, even if it is a third-connection mutual friend.

When you are at the pregame, you have a reason to talk to people you dont know because it isnt awkward if you introduce yourself.

I mean, you are all at the same party, arent you?

When you get to the bar, everyone except the especially outgoing friends stick togetherand mainly talk tothe people they already know.

At the pregame, you have a much better chance at getting to know someone new and bond on a deeper level.

Most of the time, you see the chemistry between two people click at the pregame.

By the time you all head out for the night, you already know whats going to happen from there.

5. You can actually have fun.

Yes, some bars have darts or pool, but usually theres a long line and it’s overly crowded.

At the pregame, you can make a new friend playing flip cup, make a new enemy playing slap cup or enjoy unleashing your inner Kobe playing beer pong.

You arent going to get the chance to have this much fun when you are out, probably because you are going to spend half an hour waiting in line to buy an overpriced drink.

Sure, some venues can offer a good time, but you arent going to get a chance to showcase all the skills you learned in college from years of partying when you are out on the town.

Now dont get me wrong; it is definitely possible to have a great time when you are out with a good group of people, but again, the key is the people you are with, not the place you are at.

No matter where you go, it is always going to come down to the friends you have around you.

So maybe next time when you and your crew cant decide where you want to go for the night, just let the pregame ride its way out.

You never know; when you are pregaming and the whole night is in front of you, anything is possible.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/its-an-art-5-reasons-the-pregame-will-always-beat-the-party/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/02/12/its-an-art-5-reasons-the-pregame-will-always-beat-the-party/

It’s An Art: 5 Reasons The Pregame Will Always Beat The Party

Its 2 pm on a Sunday, and you pop a couple of Advils in your mouth and throw them back with some bathroom sink water.

What’s worse than the headache and overall nausea is the fact you have literally accomplished nothing all day, and tomorrow is Monday.

You think hard about last night; it gives you a headache.

You lie on your back in your bed, take a deep breath, let the Advils kick in and try again.

What happened last night?

Oh, thats right.

You blew $150 at the bar buying shots, only to leave immediately after because for some reason, there are no trains that run between 1 and 4 am.

You didnt get with any girls because face it: You never actually get with any girls you meet at the bar.

You realize none of the expectations you had going into the night actually came true.

After several weekends of this repeated cycle, you start to realize something.

Your favorite part of the night is before the night even starts.

You check the facts, rerun the logic in your head and finally conclude the best part of the night is the pregame.

What about the pregame makes it the best part? Im glad you asked.

1. The excitement is real.

Before the night begins, you send out a group text to the squad to find out the plans for the evening.

You find out some people you havent seen in a while are coming out that night, so you are pumped to see them again.

Its about to be the all-admired Saturday night, everyones favorite part of the week.

You got amped up working out earlier in the day, and you are ready to take on the night.

You run around picking out what you want to drink, what you want to wear and how youre getting to the party.

There is nothing more exciting than a night about to get underway.

Everything is in front of you, and sometimes, the tease is the most exciting part.

2. It is much cheaper.

And when I say cheaper, I mean it costs almost nothing.

I can go to the local bar to try to fight my way onto the dart board, pay $8 for a beer plus tip and sweat my clothes off because the air conditioning isnt working in the building.

Or, I can pick up a 12-pack at 7-Eleven for $8 plus tax, set up the dart board in my basement and enjoy playing whatever music I want in the comfort of my own home.

Ill often have all my friends over to pregame, and when its time to go, well decide to stay because we would just be paying more money to do the exact same thing we are already doing out at a bar.

3. Anything can happen.

Its true; the possibilities are endless.

At the pregame, you havent gone out yet and blown it with every girl you’ve tried to pick up.

You havent tried to fight the bouncer and gotten kicked out of the venue.

You havent spilled your $12 drink all over your favorite shirt and had to wear it soaked the rest of the night.

At the pregame, the future is a dream where anything can happen.

As far as you are concerned, it is going to be the best night ever.

Youre going to slay it on the dance floor, bring home the best looking girl and forever remember the night as legendary.

The excitement cultivates into a joyous hype of happiness about what the evening ahead may bring.

4. Bonding with people is possible.

Everyone at the pregame has a reason for being there, even if it is a third-connection mutual friend.

When you are at the pregame, you have a reason to talk to people you dont know because it isnt awkward if you introduce yourself.

I mean, you are all at the same party, arent you?

When you get to the bar, everyone except the especially outgoing friends stick togetherand mainly talk tothe people they already know.

At the pregame, you have a much better chance at getting to know someone new and bond on a deeper level.

Most of the time, you see the chemistry between two people click at the pregame.

By the time you all head out for the night, you already know whats going to happen from there.

5. You can actually have fun.

Yes, some bars have darts or pool, but usually theres a long line and it’s overly crowded.

At the pregame, you can make a new friend playing flip cup, make a new enemy playing slap cup or enjoy unleashing your inner Kobe playing beer pong.

You arent going to get the chance to have this much fun when you are out, probably because you are going to spend half an hour waiting in line to buy an overpriced drink.

Sure, some venues can offer a good time, but you arent going to get a chance to showcase all the skills you learned in college from years of partying when you are out on the town.

Now dont get me wrong; it is definitely possible to have a great time when you are out with a good group of people, but again, the key is the people you are with, not the place you are at.

No matter where you go, it is always going to come down to the friends you have around you.

So maybe next time when you and your crew cant decide where you want to go for the night, just let the pregame ride its way out.

You never know; when you are pregaming and the whole night is in front of you, anything is possible.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/its-an-art-5-reasons-the-pregame-will-always-beat-the-party/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/170811581497

It’s An Art: 5 Reasons The Pregame Will Always Beat The Party

Its 2 pm on a Sunday, and you pop a couple of Advils in your mouth and throw them back with some bathroom sink water.

What’s worse than the headache and overall nausea is the fact you have literally accomplished nothing all day, and tomorrow is Monday.

You think hard about last night; it gives you a headache.

You lie on your back in your bed, take a deep breath, let the Advils kick in and try again.

What happened last night?

Oh, thats right.

You blew $150 at the bar buying shots, only to leave immediately after because for some reason, there are no trains that run between 1 and 4 am.

You didnt get with any girls because face it: You never actually get with any girls you meet at the bar.

You realize none of the expectations you had going into the night actually came true.

After several weekends of this repeated cycle, you start to realize something.

Your favorite part of the night is before the night even starts.

You check the facts, rerun the logic in your head and finally conclude the best part of the night is the pregame.

What about the pregame makes it the best part? Im glad you asked.

1. The excitement is real.

Before the night begins, you send out a group text to the squad to find out the plans for the evening.

You find out some people you havent seen in a while are coming out that night, so you are pumped to see them again.

Its about to be the all-admired Saturday night, everyones favorite part of the week.

You got amped up working out earlier in the day, and you are ready to take on the night.

You run around picking out what you want to drink, what you want to wear and how youre getting to the party.

There is nothing more exciting than a night about to get underway.

Everything is in front of you, and sometimes, the tease is the most exciting part.

2. It is much cheaper.

And when I say cheaper, I mean it costs almost nothing.

I can go to the local bar to try to fight my way onto the dart board, pay $8 for a beer plus tip and sweat my clothes off because the air conditioning isnt working in the building.

Or, I can pick up a 12-pack at 7-Eleven for $8 plus tax, set up the dart board in my basement and enjoy playing whatever music I want in the comfort of my own home.

Ill often have all my friends over to pregame, and when its time to go, well decide to stay because we would just be paying more money to do the exact same thing we are already doing out at a bar.

3. Anything can happen.

Its true; the possibilities are endless.

At the pregame, you havent gone out yet and blown it with every girl you’ve tried to pick up.

You havent tried to fight the bouncer and gotten kicked out of the venue.

You havent spilled your $12 drink all over your favorite shirt and had to wear it soaked the rest of the night.

At the pregame, the future is a dream where anything can happen.

As far as you are concerned, it is going to be the best night ever.

Youre going to slay it on the dance floor, bring home the best looking girl and forever remember the night as legendary.

The excitement cultivates into a joyous hype of happiness about what the evening ahead may bring.

4. Bonding with people is possible.

Everyone at the pregame has a reason for being there, even if it is a third-connection mutual friend.

When you are at the pregame, you have a reason to talk to people you dont know because it isnt awkward if you introduce yourself.

I mean, you are all at the same party, arent you?

When you get to the bar, everyone except the especially outgoing friends stick togetherand mainly talk tothe people they already know.

At the pregame, you have a much better chance at getting to know someone new and bond on a deeper level.

Most of the time, you see the chemistry between two people click at the pregame.

By the time you all head out for the night, you already know whats going to happen from there.

5. You can actually have fun.

Yes, some bars have darts or pool, but usually theres a long line and it’s overly crowded.

At the pregame, you can make a new friend playing flip cup, make a new enemy playing slap cup or enjoy unleashing your inner Kobe playing beer pong.

You arent going to get the chance to have this much fun when you are out, probably because you are going to spend half an hour waiting in line to buy an overpriced drink.

Sure, some venues can offer a good time, but you arent going to get a chance to showcase all the skills you learned in college from years of partying when you are out on the town.

Now dont get me wrong; it is definitely possible to have a great time when you are out with a good group of people, but again, the key is the people you are with, not the place you are at.

No matter where you go, it is always going to come down to the friends you have around you.

So maybe next time when you and your crew cant decide where you want to go for the night, just let the pregame ride its way out.

You never know; when you are pregaming and the whole night is in front of you, anything is possible.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/its-an-art-5-reasons-the-pregame-will-always-beat-the-party/

Tax law questions and answers from Riley Aviles

What can I do about the irs? First they say I owe back taxes, then I don't, now I do. Please help!

Innocent spouse filed after finding my ex-husband did not claim income for one year and made a tremendous mistake on another leaving me in debt to the IRS for about 50k. I received a letter that there was no tax owed for one of the other year as well as those years I was relieved of any responsibility. I've yet to receive any kind of notice in the email regarding this debt owed, just told over the telephone (when I call) that I owe this 20k. I've asked repeatedly for an invoice to be sent and have gotten nothing. They keep my tax refunds. I was told by the lady on the telephone today if I actually don't set up payment arrangements, they will begin levying my wages. But I have a letter saying nothing but over the phone they say I owe!? What do I do? A: Get in touch with an enrolled agent or a tax attorney as soon as possible. If you're considered a low income taxpayer, you can seek help with a Low Income Taxpayer Clinic in your own state. You can also try the Taxpayer Advocate. You want help immediately, in the event you are at the phase that is garnishment.

What is the best way to approach the fact that my Husband is not disclosing his actual income? Do I bring it up?

For 10 years he has said he didnt have his taxes he made fake paystubs with bank statements for distinct periods. LFLR 10 has never been complied with by him. This is a post secondary support that is now a total change and they're saying it hasnt been 2 years HELP!!! There reallly is a sig change. I keep getting laid off due to my daughter at 17 has major depression and keeps attempting to kill herself and is a late stage alcoholic/addict. I believe, as well as my supervisors, although I now have ADD but cant function with this all. She's now greatly in the juvinelle justice system, she voluntarily went to treatment but only after 5 days in ICU and then 4 in the mental ward at childrens. I had to borrow money to get her into a spot right away cause now she is shooting heroin...4.0 pupil 3 months later here comes the Fs. Meanwhile my mature perfect cheerleader girl with a minor learning disability that prefers to be a DDS needs help. I cant get it becasue of back taxes. HELP? A: Contact a tax lawyer promptly. You are able to definitely go to a low income taxpayer clinic in your own state, if you are a low income citizen. This really is extremely serious and shouldn't be handled by yourself.

What is the proper way to handle a buyout of another person's share of a house inherited through a trust?

If two individuals inherit a Calif. home and some cash (from a trust) and they agree that one of them will buy out the other's interest in the home, how will that trade be managed and taxed. There is insufficient cash in the inheritance to use to cancel the buy out, therefore it will involve a personal check from party A to party B to compensate them for their share. Since the house was inherited at current market value and for that reason no taxes due would this be a sale at zero value? Could the trustee (and beneficiary - Party A) who'll be doing the buy out only transfer ownership of the property directly to herself and compose a private check to the other party, or what are the appropriate measures? I know the government will be challenging a big check composed to another individual. Would a personal check to the other individual then create a taxable event for them instead of an inheritance? (So much red tape, so little time.) A: It should be handled like any house purchase through private parties, in writing and recorded with the county. Contact a CPA or tax lawyer re: your tax questions. The best first step is an Initial Consultation with an Attorney. You can read more about me, my qualifications, awards, honours, testimonials, and media appearances/ publications on my law practice web site. I practice law in the following areas of law in CA, NY, MA, and DC: Company & Contracts, Criminal Defense, Divorce & Child Custody, and Education Law. This reply does not represent legal advice; make warranties, guarantees, or any predictions; or create any Attorney-Client relationship.

In the state of Tx, Was my self insured employer supposed to tax my WC income for the year?

I was injured as well as on WC for 90% of 2016. My W2 reveals the complete year of wages was taxed including WC. Now I'm confused if I'm supposed to claim my WC income on my tax return. A: No, wc benefits are NOT taxable. Your company is wrong is it paid wc benefits to you. If they somehow withheld taxes (ss and FICA tax as well) it owes that cash back to you at once! However, if it was a wage continuation program, rather than TIBs payable under the wc Act, that's a completely different subject. The determining factor is whether your self-insured company paid TIBs and/or IIBs or a wage continuance to you. A clue would be if you're a salaried worker and received the same weekly payment following your injury as before. TIBs are computed predicated in your average weekly wage for the previous 13 weeks prior to your harm and multiplied by either .70 or .667 depending on your hourly rate.

Real Estate Lawyer Kitchener. №❶ Real estate lawyers in Kitchener

Do I have to pay FTB fees?

Hello, I was wondering if someone can help me with this. A corporation started in 2014 and since then have collected fees to the Franchise Tax Board when I didn’t understand better. I used to not do anything with the business, and I owe around about 4k in back fees. I recognize that that money is owed by the corporation and it's going to keep going up yearly. The corporation is now frozen due to back fees. What should I do? I really can’t manage to pay. What can the authorities do to me if I only don’t ever pay? Can they take my private things? Will this impact my business in the future, if one day I decide to start a small business? What can happen to someone who does pay, and what're stuff I can’t do personally if I just allow the taxes develop on the corporation that is suspended? A: It is best to consult with a local lawyer privately and give him or her all the facts and trades and get a special advice and plan of action with respect to your personal liability or lack thereof. Normally, if a corporation complied with the state law and is created properly, is considered a separate legal entity and its own accountability shouldn't create personal liability for its stockholders. The information presented herein is for general purposes only. It may not be construed as tax, legal or accounting advice, and is not intended to. Neither is it meant for solicitation purposes. For specific guidance, please consult an appropriate lawyer in person. Good luck. Zaher Fallahi, Business and Tax Lawyer, CPA.

Property has been sold for taxes, Im not able to pay the taxes back by the redemption period how long do I have to stay?

Redemption span is 9/21/2016 my dad's property he moved. Im still there, filed chapter 7 May 2015, dispatched. A: If you never have already done so, you should contact a lawyer immediately.

Uncle w/o family left me a house in LA. How can I find out the new reassesment property taxes and how much I owe?

A: Contact the city tax office. The best first step is an Initial Consultation with an Attorney. You may read more about me, my credentials, awards, honours, testimonials, and media appearances/ publications on my law practice web site. I practice law in these areas of law in CA, NY, MA, and DC: Criminal Defense, Divorce & Child Custody & Contracts, Business, and Education Law. This answer does not constitute legal advice; make any forecasts, guarantees, or warranties; or create any Attorney-Client relationship.

MY child support is in Florida and I live in another state can child support still take my income taxe money arrears?

And also I don't comprehend how federal cash can be taken by a state from me A: Check with one or a FL lawyer in the state where you currently reside. The best first step is an Initial Consultation with an Attorney. This response does not constitute legal advice; make warranties, guarantees, or any predictions; or create any Attorney-Client relationship.

I received a "Notice of Intention to File an IRS 1099-C Form"

This notice was from a CA law office who said it was the legal owner of the debt (not representing a client). There was a 1099-C form for an 2017 event comprised, together with a settlement offer. I filed a report with the State Attorney General promptly to be wise. I just moved to OH from MI, as well as the letter was forwarded from my MI address. The account was supposedly charged off in 1999. I've been questioning this account for a long time, and it keeps bouncing between collection agencies. The account never existed, as well as the original lender has no knowledge of the accounts. I was contacted about the debt in the middle of last year by another collection agency, whom I questioned it with. Prior to that, I heard nothing for years. My understanding is that the FDCPA doesn't always apply to this scenario, although I am prepared to send a letter of dispute to this law office. Any guidance on the next steps would be greatly valued! Thank you. A: It's time to involve a tax lawyer. A 1099-C is a form filed by a lender when they cancel a debt. The IRS considers the cancelled debt taxable income. You can be about to get an immense tax bill.

EPISODE 11 (PART 2) - “ FIRST YOU GET THE IDOL. THEN YOU GET THE IMMUNITY. THEN YOU GET THE WIN.” - ED

http://insidesurvivor.com/sarah-lacina-retrospective-25209

Huh I ctrl-f'd "truth" "honesty" and "trust" but they weren't there. Weird. It's almost like she wasn't any of those things, just a flop on a power trip. But you know whatever. Who needs an idol anyway, no one ever votes for the goat.

I'm suddenly ALIVE

WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS GAME WANT ME TO FUCKING QUIT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT TWO FUCKING TIMES I MAKE A BIG MOVE AN IDOL PLAY I WORK ON IT SO MUCH AND BAM FUCKING FAKE TRIBAL TRIBAL DOESNT FUCKING COUNT THIS IS SO UNFAIR TO ME I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE ITI HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT ITS SO FUCKING UNFAIR ITS SO FUCKING UNFAIR ITS SO FUCKING UNFAIR MY AUCTION ITEM WASNT EVEN ACTUALLY USED

FUCK YOU HOSTS. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD, I WOULD HAVE FUCKING WON, BUT FUCK Y'ALL.

I am still SHOOK about this whole simulator thing. We didn't lose Melissa, Payton exposed their self as a snake, and we have majority. What was really interesting was that Payton tells our alliance that she had the Amity idol, that it was in 2 halves and you had to combine them in order to use it. AND THEN IT GETS PLAYED AT THAT TRIBAL COUNCIL!! There was no effort for secrecy, and it didnt seem too thought out because even if Melissa had gone, it still would have been 4-3 with Lucy, Geo, and Payton in the minority. This definitely gave the game some flavor. I just hope there is still a way for me to make it to the end

I'm literally just going to tell peolpe to vote me off lol

I hate immunity and most of all, I fucking hate Lake. You didn't need to say my name when you did you bitter asshole. Calm the fuck down, at least I'm TRYING to play a game instead of hiding behind Eliza and hoping I somehow get to F2.

Meet the new round, same as the old round. Minus the whole fractured BH5 group, natch.

Won reward again, check. Got the Candor idol again, check. Won immunity again, check. Lake is threatening to leak false information to Lucy and it's a bad look for me if she runs with it, because then Payton likely chooses to run with that and idols the wrong person. That'd mean it's likely Payton going. And while that would be easiest for my game, by far... I'm super not comfortable with that. She's been my ride or die since the hop. It'd be terrible form to abandon her as soon as a plan doesn't work out.

On the other hand... I've gotten fairly tight with BH5. Melissa, especially, but Eliza and Jill are rad as well. I can't wait to find out who they really are, because I feel like we're all fairly in lock-step as far as this game goes.

Not feeling the Lake love, though. I get why he was pulled in, but he's running directly contra to mine and Payton's best interests. And he's leaks info like whoa. It's like BH5 is a boat and Payton was busted drilling holes in it. And now, the leakiest option is here to patch the hole.

I don't think I truly needed this immunity. But it's another feather in my cap if I can make the end. The fact that I won both competitions twice proves that it wasn't a fluke (even though it totally was.) Editing two videos for the All-Stars music video comp meant that I was more or less disengaged from the trivia from 4pm until 9. And my Internet at the office is so bad that in the time it'd take for a Google page to load, the question would already be answered and awarded. So hey, good thing I built myself up such a buffer.

I'm caught between a rock and a hard place here. Usually the right move shines through at me, but right now everything is murky. A part of me wishes the girls would just lie to me and blindside Payton, so I could have the ignorance to fall back on. I almost wonder if they wouldn't deliberately give me the wrong target out of fear it'd get back to Payton. But they can't afford to be wasting votes they have, can they?

I also can't just do what Payton did and flip. It'd be game suicide right now. Payton probably got Otto's vote at the end, and maybe Dani's, at the expense of the BH5 girls. But hey, it was a plan she wanted to put in motion, and it could've had some net positives if not for the Divergent sim reset.

I think my best bet is to make the end with Payton. We've been seen as this inseparable duo since the start, but I can win against her because, while I think her social game may have been better, her only REALLY visible strategic play backfired. She'll undoubtedly try to throw me under the bus for knowing about it, at which point I can say that I set myself up to be okay even if it failed. And then of course, comp wins. The trick will be convincing people that it wasn't a #boring way of playing.

If not Payton, then Melissa. We've been more or less on the same page strategically, but my comp game has been undeniably better, and I think the one point where my game's been weak – the blindside courtesy of Dani that was offset – would be cancelled by Melissa's blindside courtesy of Payton that was offset.

I don't think I can beat Eliza or Jill. Both have incredible social games and, I think, are seen as the driving strategic forces in BH5. And I think I can beat any of Lucy, Lake and Geo.

The more I write this out, the more it makes sense for me to flip. I think I can beat everyone on one side of the coin but not the other. So why am I so attached to a bunch of sockpuppets that I can't envision directly flipping on them?

The easiest solution this round would be a literal repeat of last round, albeit without Mel taking the fall. Let's do the same as last week only take out Lake first. That would be so much easier to deal with.

The more I think about this, the more I think I'm screwed either way. My jury management sucks.

Of those on jury now, I might get Kyle. Maybe Dani. Not Otto. And then either I get to the end with BH4, which means Payton (and by extension Geo and Lucy) are probably upset at me. That's three votes I probably won't get, plus Otto... that's a loss.

OTOH, if I flip on BH4 now? That's Jill, Eliza and Melissa I probably lose. Them plus Otto... that's a loss.

The only way out of this is if BH4 gives me (I can somehow convince Payton that I was fed) false information and the P/G/L side idol the wrong person, causing her to go home.

Otherwise, my game is over this round. The downsides of playing both sides it that it can really come to bite you in the ass when everyone is sure you're with them.

Never before have I hoped more that someone doesn't trust me as much as I think they do.

So Jill or Lake is going home next, we know that. It just depends on who Jill plays her idol on :)

None of those fuckers are getting my vote at ftc if I go home today, especially ed bc he'd have lied to me.

Let's be honest I'm probably dying again. A lot is happening as a result of Payton flipping and a new idol being in play and of course my death. Lake is supposedly on our side now, feeding us information about Lucy. Let's be real, I don't trust it but I need him to think I do. I used my vote sneak on Lucy to see where she goes, and Jill says she'll use her idol this week if necessary. Right now it's 90 minutes until tribal and Lucy hasn't voted yet. And I NEED her to vote to know what I'm doing from there. All of this is just an effort to make f7. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do from there but what I've been asking for since the very beginning has finally happened. The game got real.

Listen, this better be an episode title. We're playing the idol on Lucy, praying she's actually the target. If this goes right, it's #samegamedifferentname. If it goes wrong... I'm going home.

I think I'm leaving so I'm voting Lake in case what Ed says is true and it's lucy, and in case jill plays her idol. Bye world

I hate lake

I'm probably going home this week. i went to lake with a plan to vote out payton just so i was the one who didn't get votes, and now he seems to think he has melissa and eliza on board with his plan but i don't know why they would do that and i honestly don't think they take him seriously enough as a player idk.. honestly i really just want one of them gone and i want to try and flip my position in this game but idk if this week is the week to do it. i also really don't trust ed and i want him out and i feel like cutting payton would be a good move to getting him out since they're besties. OK SO I JUST DECIDED. IM GOING TO VOTE PAYTON, AND NOT USE MY IDOL. OR I AM GOING TO VOTE JILL. IDK I AM SO STRESSSSSSED <<<<<

I'm taking credit for erring those two idols and Payton out of the game I put in the work and it paid off. This round went perfectly.