Poor Tommo didn't know what would happen showing Vin this game

He's going at full combo 🤫

Week 9

I showed my wall to my capstone advisor, Jeff, and while he was happy that I now have a story and with the progress I made since the last time we spoke he is a bit worried that I am putting all my eggs into one basket. I can see where he is coming from since I STILL have not done any digital animation and it's becoming more and more of a stressor on me. He suggested I watch Rejected by Don Hertzfeldt since this is a compilation of multiple simple animations, Jeff suggested that rather than starting where my storyboard begins I should first animate the embarrassing moments themselves and that way if I'm not happy with the narrative later down the line I still have these and can make a plan around it.

I just can't do it man, I can't get into digital art. It feels so uncomfortable every time I try to draw in Krita, Fire Alpaca, or Photoshop, and every time I try to actually sit down and try to learn it I get so frustrated when the line work still comes out so goofy no matter how many times I try a new brush, setting, or simply redoing it. I used one of the bigger tablets from the Fablab this time which was a lot more comfortable to use than the small one I have but I don't know, if I had the option to make this traditionally I would be seriously considering it right now.

Lately, I've been thinking back to the topic of growing up without a dad so I looked at some videos on YouTube and a lot of them, like this one from Joe Rogan, are about people who had their dad leave them instead of passing away. Obviously, there is a difference between how I feel about my dad and how these people feel about their dad, Joe and Erik hold more anger and animosity towards their dads because they betrayed their trust while I held a lot of anger towards myself because I felt like I wasn't making anything out of my life or because I didn't understand the concept of death at age 7. However, one thing that did resonate with me was how they described their loneliness growing up with a single parent. I think by age 9 or 10 my mom would start training me on how to take care of myself at home alone. I don't hold any animosity towards my mom for this because it's like Erik said, my mom was working hard on her own trying to make sure that I had everything I needed and then some but that meant we had to cut some costs such as a babysitter. I believe this is where my love for cartoons stems from, when I would be home alone I would constantly have the TV on Cartoon Network even when I wasn't in the room and that is because I would get extremely anxious when the house would be dead silent. The worst punishment my mom could give me as a kid would be no TV for a week, not because I would be bored for that week but because I would be so anxious that I wouldn't be able to function. Eventually I got over it as I got older, the sound of silence and being alone most of the day is the norm.

So I was scrolling through Instagram the day before this event happened and I saw this ad called Manga in New York by Ginza Sony Park Project. It was an event at Studio 525 that brought 6 different Japanese artists, not necessarily manga artists, together so that they could create and display their manga in unique ways using Sony's technology. When I presented my wall to the guest artists their main critique was that I hadn't considered how I was going to present my animation during the exhibition. At first, I didn't really know what that meant because James Ring, an alumni last year who did an animation, just set up a TV and put the storyboards and sketches next to the TV which is what I was going to do. But after going to Manga in New York I can see what they meant, each manga here was displayed so differently from each other and because of that added to their individual experiences. The first manga, Interlude by Miku Masuda had the talk bubbles animated like animated manga on YouTube except each page had its own display screen so people could walk along the story rather than standing in place watching a slideshow on one screen. A Pilgrims Guide to Videogame by Takakurakazuki was the exact opposite, it only had two displays for two people who flipped through the pages with a joystick but the area in which it was placed in also had the comic printed on paper and hung along the wall with large pieces of art to go with the exhibit. Ueda and Sasami by Hikaru Ichijo also had its story printed out and displayed along the wall but behind the reader would be a giant Ueda with an animated Hamster inside her stomach. Dream Pill by Millennium Parade was the one I found the most impressive, the floor had a projection of water on it and if I stepped in the right spot the floor would rumble and the projection would make a splash, as if I was actually walking on water as I read this manga. A Guide by Masanobu Hiraoka, who is an Animator/Director, made a manga that had huge prints on each page and only certain panels beautifully animated on a huge TV display that really brought the vastness the manga was trying to portray in its story. Finally, Walker by Katsuya Terada had massive displays of his manga accompanied by background sounds like bird noises and rain sounds that you can faintly hear as you walk through his work. I also got the chance to see him draw live, unfortunately I only stuck around halfway through his live drawing cause I had other plans that day but this was a very insightful trip.

REFLECTION:

I don't know how I'm going to be an animator if I can't digitally draw the simplest of things. I'm not trying to give up just yet but Jeff might be right where maybe I should look into doing a series of shorts rather than just one singular narrative. Up until this point, I haven't gone on a museum trip specifically for my capstone, mainly because everybody else in the class seems to be busy so I would have to go by myself and I don't think I'll find anything useful in the museum regarding what I want to do for my project but I was happily proven wrong. When I left the museum an idea that I had for my capstone would be to play my animation on a CRT TV with two bags placed next to each other, one labeled embarrassing memory and the other happy memory. Audience members would then write down an embarrassing memory or a happy memory or both and place it in one of the respective bags and by the end of it, I wanted to see which bag got more filled up. But I will worry about how this will be displayed at a later date.

@qserasera​ tagged me to list out ten songs i’ve been listening to lately, so here’s my list together with too much commentary because I’m just Like That.

Departures by Joe Hisaishi (from the movie Departures)  I've already tag-yelled about Merry-Go-Round of Life so have a non-Ghibli song (PS: Departures is an excellent movie. It's about death and encoffinment, but it is very worth watching). While you're at it, just go listen to everything on Joe Hisaishi's channel. Or you could just listen to his two hour Studio Ghibli concert. 

Strawberry Swing by Coldplay According to this article, this song is one of the top 10 most relaxing songs in the world. I feel calm listening to it. Plus, it's Coldplay. And the music video is incredible. 

Wandering in the Afternoon Sunlight by Takeharu Ishimoto (FF7: Crisis Core OST)  While the world is playing Animal Crossing or looking forward to the FF7 Remake, I (who has neither a Switch or a PS4) busted out my 10-year-old PSP and started replaying Crisis Core. Imagine yourself wandering the plains exploring while you listen to this song (from the isolated room you're currently stuck in!) 

Exogenesis Symphony Part 3 Redemption by Muse  I also recommend that you watch Evgenia Medvedeva's gorgeous figure skating Short Program to this song. I wrote a lot of fics to this song last year.

Counterattack Mankind by Hiroyuki Sawano (Shingeki no Kyojin OST) I haven't kept up with this series since season 1 but this song was a rec for good music to work out to. Also it's the opening music to the No Regrets OVA (aka Levi and Erwin's first meeting) so... 

In The End by Tommee Profitt ft Fluerie & Jung Youth (Linkin Park cover) The reason I know of this cover? Purely because of the Georgian ice dance team of Maria Kazakova/Georgy Reviya, so please watch their freaking epic Free Dance. They. Are. Incredible (I am gutted they only got silver at Junior Worlds).

Into the Unknown by Idina Menzel & Panic! at the Disco (fanmade mashup)  Frozen 2's soundtrack isn't as memorable as Frozen’s but this song really grew on me the more I listened to it. And then to have Idina and Brendon's vocals in one mashup together? Godly.  

Owarihajimari (Remix) by SAWA (The World Ends With You, Live Remix)  This was the song that Squeenix put up to troll us when they did a seven day countdown back in 2012. The entire fandom freaked out because we thought it would be a sequel announcement, but it ended up being just a mobile app port............. anyway, it gave us a bunch of remixes and I love this one because it has groovy beats.

Deliver Us by Hans Zimmer (Prince of Egypt OST)  This song kept coming up on my playlist and it's stuck in my head now so... anyway the emotions this evokes feel quite apt for the state of our world right now.

Romeo and Cinderella by Hatsune Miku  I play this mobile game (Tower of Saviors) which has a lot of crossover events with Japanese anime/series, including a Vocaloid one last year. I run a Miku-led main deck and this song plays every time the team maxes out their stats in battle so I associate it with positive things (aka, like knowing that I’m gonna flatten all the bosses). 

tagging @isali3, @solowinged, @art-rmlb, @bapha, @wolf-heart1197 and whoever else wants to pick this up