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cactibarber · 5 years

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Chapter 2 of my TMA x MBMBAM crack fic is up! (Chapter 1) Thanks so much to everyone who’s read it so far!

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Justin cleared his throat and began. “Well, we were thinking about going on vacation, so we were waiting until we had some free time-“

“Not that we work hard,” Travis interrupted. “Not like you guys with your files and- are those tape recorders?”

“And we then we all got sick for like two weeks, so we figured we needed a break,” Justin finished. “So we wanted to go to Europe-“

“Gotta get out of the states, you know. It’s uhhh not great right now,” Griffin said. “And-“

“And we decided on London. You know, to- tae sae Bahg Baen,” Justin said, in what Jon guessed was an atrocious attempt at a Scottish accent. The voice didn’t go unnoticed, however, as the two brothers pounced immediately.

“No, no, no it’s Boig Boin-“

“Bae Baen-“

“Beyblades? Are you talking about fucking Beyblades, Travis?”

Jon rubbed his temples and resisted the urge to shout down the hall for Martin- hell, maybe Daisy or Basira could help scare them into giving a proper statement. He had to admit, he was a bit confused with what was going on- usually when people gave a statement, it was in a more listenable way, getting rid of all the feelings (and trauma) that clouded the statement. But these brothers sat in front of him, seemingly rambling about some thing that had happened to them, and they didn’t seem to care at all.

Jon attempted to focus back in to the conversation. The brothers seemed to be arguing about whether the Dick Van Dyke accent from Mary Poppins counted as a real English accent.

“-and the whole movie takes place in London, Griffin, so what I don’t know why you would think that it didn’t count-”

“Oh, just because the movie takes place in London, huh Travis? So if I started talking about ‘puttin it on the barbie’ in Niu Yawk-”

“Gross, Griffin, what are you putting on the barbie?”

“Yeah, c’mon Griff.”

“Gentlemen,” Jon said firmly, a faint crackle of compulsion in his voice. The McElroys sat up straight, as if shocked by lightning. “Please. Continue.”

Justin’s eyes narrowed slightly, and he started speaking again. “Well, the point is that we ended up taking a trip to London town-”

“Something no-one but our dad says,” Griffin muttered under his breath.

“-and we were out at one of the pubs here, having some drinks after our flight landed.”

“It ended up just being us three, since our wives decided to stay in the states because of all the traveling we’ve been doing recently. My wife, Teresa, in particular-”

Jon stubbornly ignored the chorus of “My wife” that erupted around the room. Justin’s face was beet red from trying not to laugh at his own joke, while Griffin looked at him, stonefaced and shrugging. Jon was surprised that his compulsion seemed to be wearing off almost immediately. At this point, he was wondering if he was going to be more hungry after this statement than he was before it.

“Anyway it’s just us in London right now. So we were in a bar-”

“Pub-”

“And we were leaving around 1 AM? We were pretty, uhh, out of it-” “Drunk- we don’t have to leave a good impression on this guy, Justin, we’re just telling him about how we saw Daz,” Griffin corrected.

“I’m getting to it,” Justin said, glaring at Griffin. He turned to Jon, holding his hands out in a “see-what-I’m-dealing-with” position. “Daz is, well, I mean, I’m getting to it.”

“We were leaving the pub-bar, and we were slightly stumbling to the street. Not like falling down drunk, but definitely tripping every few steps drunk,” Justin continued. “Travis was the worst off since he tried to drink a cocktail with a pie slice on top of it-”

“It was definitely worth it,” Travis said, pulling out his phone. “Let me show you a picture-”

“And when we were outside of the bar-pub, we heard someone ask if we had a cigarette.”

“Was he in the alley?” Jon asked, startled. This story was starting to sound shockingly familiar. If the angler-fish was active again, then it mean that the Stranger had already recovered from their attempted Unknowing.

“Yeah!” Griffin chimed in. “He was leaning against the wall like a gangster from the 60s. Have you seen Grease? Because he looked like-”

“Griffin, I swear to god, if you are going to say that Daz looks like John Travolta from Grease,” Justin exasperatedly interrupted. “Then I will be forced to-”

“I meant his posture, Juice,” Griffin said, rolling his eyes. “Y’know, one leg up like a fuckin’ cool guy.”

“Yeah, that’s what makes someone cool, Griff,” Travis laughed. “One leg up means a fuckin’ cooooool guy.”

Justin raised his voice over Griffin and Travis’ laughter. “The guy in the alley was in the shadows at first, so we couldn’t see him. None of us had any little, uh, smoke sticks on us, so we said no and were about to walk away.”

Griffin and Travis erupted into another round of laughter at Justin’s choice of words. When he was sure all three of them were distracted, Jon allowed himself a little smile.

“But the guy didn’t give up,” Justin continued, getting a little solemn. “He stepped a little out of the shadows and we were able to see him a little more clearly.”

“He looked like a normal dude at first. Like anyone you would see on the street,” Travis said, picking up where his brother had left off. “But as he kept getting closer, he felt, ummm, I guess off is the best way to put it?”

Griffin let out a bark of laughter. “Really, Trav? Is that the best you, a New York Times best-selling author can do?” Griffin put on a voice that Jon guessed was one crafted and honed over many years with a singular purpose of annoying his brothers. “Oh yeah, man he felt like, off I guess? I dunno, I haven’t learned anything past o in the alphabet.”

Justin burst into laughter as Travis pouted. “You describe him then, Griffin! Sorry I wasn’t trying to be all poetic and shit like in one of your cutscenes-”

“Hey, my cutscenes aren’t just poetic. They’re masterpieces in literature.”

Travis rolled his eyes at that and flipped Griffin off, which Griffin responded to by sticking his tongue out. Jon Saw™ a brief flash of hours upon hours of family dinners, many of which had gone the same way, and felt the chill in the back of his spine start to dissipate.

“I’ll give it a crack, though,” Griffin said. “I thought it was pretty clear why he looked off. He was too smooth.”

Jon took a bit longer than it should have to process that statement. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, I guess specifically his face was too smooth,” Griffin explained. “Like it would have been as if he did one of those Korean face mask treatments, but every day, since he was a baby.”

“How would you even put one of those on a baby?” Justin mused, leaning back in his chair.

“I bet you’d have to cut one of them up,” Travis answered. “Unless-”

“Unless-” Justin and Griffin answered back, almost immediately. Jon felt like he was watching a play at this point.

“Unless that’s our next business idea for when we get back! Baby face masks!” The three of them laughed heartily, only stopping to chant in unison, “TM TM TM.”

“But that’s what I meant!” Griffin said, trying to get back on track. “His nose was slightly crooked, but his skin was so smooth, it looked like it was merging back into his face. His mouth was stretched out until it was like the width of his face, and, it wasn’t like it was in the wrong place, it looked like it was supposed to be there. He had these black spots all over his face, but they didn’t look like birthmarks or anything, it was like those parts of his face were, I don’t know, sunken, but still, they were so smooth. Everything about his face was so rubbery and plasticky, I mean it was like-”

“Like he wasn’t a real person,” Jon finished. There was a silence in the office that hadn’t been there since the McElroys had walked in.

“Yeah,” Justin said, breaking the awkwardness.

“How did you know he was, what was the phrase you used, a video game monster?” Jon asked curiously.

“Well, we do this Youtube series called Monster Factory,” Justin explained. “And by me, I mean me and Griffin, because Travis is too busy trying to get into Supernatural or whatever-”

“It’s going to happen!”

“And one of the monsters we made was based off of late great character actor Dennis Farina.”

“Who-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Griffin said hurriedly. “I didn’t know who he was either, and I was in the video with him.”

“Well we took a facescan of Dennis Farina in some golf game and we really messed him up. I mean like, really rogered him right up. Actually,” Justin pulled out his phone and showed Jon a picture of a video game character mid-golf swing that did look “real rogered up”.

“So when he came up to us and asked us for a cigarette again, we got a better look at him in the light. His hair stood out too- it was all blocky instead of smooth like his skin. Like it was low-res,” Griffin said.

“And everyone knows, your hair doesn’t look like your skin,” Travis told Jon, in a faux-educational voice.

“And,” Griffin said pointedly, “his head was moving.”

“Moving?”

“Like he was- like he was breathing through his head. It was pulsing, like really slowly, but I definitely saw it.” Griffin shuddered. “Honestly- one of the top ten grossest things I’ve ever seen.”

“What about what happened today with the bugs and Slime-” Justin asked.

“Top ten means that there are other events on there,” Griffin said. “The use of the number ten instead of-”

“How did you get away?” Jon interrupted. This didn’t sound too much like the anglerfish since it could move around, but it still gave off hints of the Stranger. And if it was-

Travis muttered something under his breath, and Griffin elbowed his side. “I said, I yartzed on him,” Travis said reluctlantly, as Griffin stifled some laughter.

Jon shook his head slightly, as if trying to dislodge some rocks from his ear. “I’m sorry?”

“I yartzed! I threw up on his shoes, and we kind of just ran. We would’ve paid him for his shoes-”

“You would’ve,” Justin said, crossing his arms.

“But we were all kinda drunk, and he was really, really creepy. Y’know. Off.”

Jon sat up a little straighter, running a hand through his hair. “You… threw up. On the shoes of something that you don’t even think was human.”

“I mean, we didn’t say that yet,” Griffin said, jumping in. “Butttttt yeah. That’s pretty much what happened.”

“Things were pretty buckwild that night,” Justin said brightly. “But I mean that’s nothing compared to what happened earlier today.”

“Today- what do you mean today?” Jon said, confused. “Did something else happen?”

The McElroys looked at each other, each mentally telling the other to speak. Travis lost, sighing and saying, “Yeah, we saw another one of them today. And-and that’s why we’re here! Because-”

“Well, we want to stop seeing them, for one,” Griffin said. “But also, if this is some sort of weird nightmare hell realm pattern thing, where we keep seeing them, there’s one character we reallly, really don’t want to run into.”

Jon gripped the table, as he Saw™. “The Final Pam.”

#tma #the magnus archives #mbmbam #monster factory #sabs stuff #this one's got #daz #i can only write this #late at night #when my brain is loose enough #hopefully yall like this chapter!#i am stubbornly ignoring tma 160 #except for the first five minutes #mcelroys #griffin mcelroy #justin mcelroy #travis mcelroy #jonathan sims

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