i could write a whole essay on how tragic øde's childhood was, but for now i will just read really old interviews 😭

link (in norwegian)

hi sam,

I need big sister advice...how do yoy stop yourself from liking something...and not just a person, just anything...celebrities, a fandom, a show, how do you stop the obsession before you go down the rabit hole

First and foremost 😭 big sister advice I'm 😭😭😭😭😭😭

AS ALWAYS--SORRY FOR THE LENGTH OF MY RESPONSE.

Okay, second, I am happy to give you my advice but I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask given my personal history with Twilight/1D/Harry.

HOWEVER. A little tangent: I am obsessed with iced coffee as well. Not sure I have mentioned that on here (you can probs tell from my stories, but anyway). I am constantly in a battle between "I should just make coffee at home" and "it's only $4" literally every day. I constantly here about how my $4 a day routine is attributing to my lack of a house in today's market. Not to toot my own horn but I do a lot for my family, my students, my friends, my boyfriend--pretty much anyone that enters my life, you get a piece of me that's yours to have. I don't do a whole lot for myself--self-care or otherwise. So I think life is short and I try to remind myself that $4 a day is not the worst thing in the world. (probably a bad mindset but if I don't do something for my mental well-being I think I'm going to explode).

The reason I say this is because I DO think life is short and you should allow yourself some indulgences. Otherwise, what's this all for? I'm not saying you should spend thousands on an obsession (see also: my Harry collection 🙃) but if you enjoy something, there's no reason you shouldn't as long as it's not causing you physical, mental, or financial harm (in my opinion).

For me? I have to limit myself. I used to watch EVERY interview, read EVERY article, watched EVERY Instagram story the entire 1D fandom had to offer and it became so overwhelming, so EXHAUSTING I had to stop. Like in my crazy teenage mind I thought that if I didn't watch EVERY piece of 1D things people would call me out for not being a real fan or that Harry/Niall would one day find out I didn't see their interview on Oct 12, 2013 and they would kick me out of the club.

It's part of why I had such a big hiatus on here. I am a huge planner so setting time for myself to do what I want to look at, watch, think about (albeit, it's very little time these days) is really important to me. Also, I have to decide if it's healthy or not for me to do so. I was staying up all hours a night to write stories and post and interact here on tumblr. It wasn't good for me.

I think just reframing the context is important too. I would like to believe I'm not really obsessed anymore. I have a great appreciation for shows and celebrities. I like to believe I know a LOT about Harry (but obviously I don't--para-social stuff ya know?). I know a great deal about How I Met Your Mother and The Princess Bride. I love potatoes, babies, math, reading, etc. I don't think these are obsessions they're just things I love.

Obsession often has a negative connotation and while I do like to tell people I have an obsession with Harry Styles for exaggeration/honestly what else am I supposed to call it? I don't think it's the right thing. Tbh, corny as it sounds I have the utmost respect for Harry. I think he's wonderful of course, and I wouldn't have known that without being so crazy for 1D for so many years.

So, I doubt any of this was helpful so I'll try to summarize:

I would really think if it's obsession or just something you really enjoy. I think there's a pretty significant difference. I also think it's okay to indulge in the things you love. Life is too short to not enjoy anything--especially something you're feeling passionate about. Moderation is important for this though. Your well-being is more important than knowing every detail about the thing you love. Not everything has to be an obsession.

If this wasn't helpful, let me know I'll try again 💕 Thank you for asking me for advice! This is like the sweetest, nicest thing 😭

xoxo