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mslalaescargot-blog · 7 years

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101 things I’ve said while playing Persona 5

((Me and my siblings play persona sometimes when we’re real tired. I’m bad at video games. It’s a fun time.))

Yes, I did name my protag Enrique De Garza. I have headcannons about the spanish crimeboy if people want them.

1. *Long and drawn out conversation about sexual favors on the school rooftop*

2. *Torero (by Chayanne) lyrics* “Appropriate music.”

3. “I’m blind and I don’t understand…”

4. “What is Shakira doing right now?” “Body rolls?” *Sings Tight pants / Body rolls really loudly and obnoxiously*

5. “There are two periods in the day: morning and even—” “I just want to be friends with my dad, okay?”

6. “I want kindness! I wanna work at the flower shop!” “Nope, flower shop gives you kindness. You want charm.” “FUCK!”

7. “What do we do in these safe rooms?” “MAKE LOVE”

8. “I’m deaf. I’m deaf, I’m blind, I’m a baby kitten.”

9. “David, you’re in my shirt.”

10. “Ambush him!” “HAH!” *Opens menu* “…Fuck.”

11. “Oh no, Ryuji’s dead. What can I do?” “Items. Or you can use skills if you have them. Or you can just kill him.” “WHAT?!”

12. “Y’know, the Hairies are weak to gun. … Wait.”

13. “Great, only one of my people has a brain, and that’s… Ryuji.”

14. “Our father, who art in heaven, Safe Mode be thy name…”

15. *Fergalicious lyrics* “Appropriate music. I make the best playlists.”

16. “I hope you’re happy with yourself. You were ambushed by two guys in flip-flops.”

17. “I don’t wanna go back to the boobs…”

18. “Menacing Owlman.” “Tag yourself. OMG. TAG YOURSELF.”

19. “Well, obviously. It’s an authority figure. We need Ryuji.”

20. “I mean… Ryuji’s tits are pretty fine, soo…”

21. “Does it bother you that Igor goes *clacks teeth like a dinosaur* and still manages to make M and N sounds?”

22. “Your BOY needs to chill the fuck out.” “My BOY takes after ME. I’m not sure he CAN.” “… Also your boy doesn’t say fuck.”

23. “You aren’t allowed up here.” “Yeah, but what about the secret blowjobs? Can’t do that in the library, Makoto.”

24. “I didn’t know we could make a bus uncomfortable.” “Bus blowjobs. Super secret.”

25. “This just in: Ryuji is actually several majestic flip-flaps in a trench coat.”

26. “Can I take a bath? I haven’t taken a bath in two weeks.” “YOU SMEEELLLLYY!”

27. *Ann threatens to tear down Madarame’s shack* “Also, tearing that house down probably involves breathing lightly on the walls.”

28. “Somehow I think ‘I gotchu Boo’ is a little out of character for Enrique.”

29. “You know, cats can’t equip undies.” “Shame.”

30. “Yeah, I do like your lady’s dress, Iwai.”

31. “Y’all, I got three boys in undies who’re ready to fight.”

32. “My nose is all itchy…” “AWWW…” “He’s a jock.”

33. “Who is attacking me?” “GUYS!!!”

34. “Um, excuse me, that was my… FUCK!”

35. “It’s called PAINting for a reason!!!”

36. “That will be your exfiltration route.” “I hate that.”

37. “I am thou, thou art I. I exist amongst the merchandise as a frowny face.”

38. “You know who I just figured out that Yusuke dresses like?” “Who?” “Mary Berry.”

39. “Coffee Dad is unimpressed with my choice of friends.” “Your friends are unimpressed with your choice of friends. Look at Yusuke.”

40. “Does she actually day-dream about Ryuji?” “Only angstily.”

41. “Oh, he’s actually going to corner me in a broom closet.” “Actually, I think you’re the one cornering him in a broom closet, but that’s beside the point.”

42. “Is Enrique a dick?”

43. “Enrique, being the bisexual beast that he is…”

44. “Has the prick been bothering you, Yusuke? Do we need to go on a date to take your mind off it?”

45. “If anyone was a hooker, you’d expect it to be Ryuji…wait.”

46. “We pray for the skinny gays, and hope that they learn…something.”

47. “I feel like they’ve become my Tamogachis. I need to feed them…”

48. “Where is the D?” “Down at the top.”

49. “’I walked Yusuke back to the station.’ Like a good date.” “We then made out obscenely in the train station.” “We made everyone uncomfortable.” “It was great.”

50. “I’m sorry Ann, this is a boys-only treehouse.” “Except for Makoto.” “Oh, yeah.”

51. “’Show me your true form!’” “NO!!”

52. “Ruyji is blinged the fuck out. Like, look at him.” “He’s also inside you.”

53. “It’s called High Pixie, and not… some mean name.”

54. “Why is my boy so elegant?” “He does the Naruto run. It makes me angry.”

55. “What about my security!?” “It was a bitch… But I’m bitchier.”

56. “I am that jiggly sinner elephant.”

57. “Where’s the *pterodactyl screech*??”

58. “Stop giving genders to inanimate objects.” “Fuck you, I do what I want.”

59. “And here we see the wild Joker, knocked on his ass.” “Isn’t he pretty?”

60. “Yusuke! Where in your space pants are you keeping an assault rifle?”

61. “You can’t make Ryuji hungry! He’s always hungry. It’s like trying to make the hulk mad.”

62. “It’s knowledge going up, not charm…” “It’s always charm with Enrique.”

63. “Oh, OK. So you’ve got eight days until your nudes are leaked.”

64. *Mona, wearing a rainbow afro* “Wait, guys, something isn’t right…”

65. “How do I get rid of the slime?” “You say ‘Release the Slime.’”

66. “I like the one where Ryuji yodels and Ann tells him he’s cute.”

67. “What? You don’t want to teach Zorro to break wind?”

68. “Is that an assault rifle in your space pants or are you just happy to see me?”

69. “If I wasn’t so opulent, I’d be a bit more peeved.”

70. “Hey, Mishima. You want to join the harem?”

71. “Yusuke, if you want to draw sexual tension, you have friends for that…”

72. “Exactly. He’s a bus, and the wheels on the bus go round and round, motherfucker.”

73. “Ugh, you scared him away!” “He can’t help it. Ryuji is spooky.”

74. “WE NEED AS MANY PHANTOM THEIVES AS YEW CAN THROU DAUN”

75. “So Yusuke is now lightly boiled…” “You mean…sleeping?”

76. “Sword, how do you feel about smacking dem snake tiddies?”

77. “You scared him off with your fuckin’ snoring, ya spoopy bastard.”

78. “Fuck off, Kris. We can’t all have a level five knowledge stat, so shut your damn nose.”

79. “Fuck, I just made out with Ann too. Accidentally. … Shit.”

80. *continues to be distraught about having Ann as a side ho*

81. “Yeah, Ryuji will just bust a move up in here and it’ll be shocking! …Ha! Puns.” *Nobody laughs*

82. *Competent players having a legit conversation about comparative SP usage* “Hey! Can I talk to the box?!?” “… No.”

83. “What? Your teammates? That one’s a mouse now, because fuck him, and your other guy friend? He is now a beautiful snake.”

84. “You know what else is really beautiful?” “Mishima?” “ME.”

85. *Far too many dick monster jokes for general health*

86. “Damnit, they aren’t weak to smack!”

87. “First I had to convince Sojiro to let me keep a cat, now I have to convince Sojiro to let me keep a Yusuke…”

88. “Why do I get the sense you’re enjoying this?” “Because he’s fucking the culprit!”

89. “I do want to spent my Hot Night with the Mishiman.”

90. “Oh, hi Akechi.” “What?” “You see the guy buying Cinnabuns? Right there?”

91. “Urgh… Morgana just needs to chill his beans.” “BEANS???”

92. “They give you great spiritual power…” “And gas.”

93. “No, I do not like that Fox. I would like him… in a box.”

94. “Ya done spooked the Ryooj…”

95. “Oh, yeah. Sae is ready to cut a bitch.” “And that bitch is Akechi.”

96. “You wanna say that a little louder, Akechi? For the people in the back? Especially your…self.”

97. *To Iwai* “You betcha, sweetums! …that is not the right name for you, sir. I’m so sorry.”

98. “Fuck off, Friendly Girl.” “That was rude!” “Well, she was rude to me, so she’s not very friendly.”

99. “God, Kawakami… It’s fine. I brought condoms.

100. *Competent players having a legit discussion about social link points* “GUYS, we need to focus more on the important issue at hand! Mishima is still wearing clothes??” “… what?”

101. “Yusuke doesn’t have cleavage!”

#//Talk to me// (OOC)#//A pretty boy in eyeliner// (the mun)#persona 5 #persona #persona trash #I'm very sorry

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