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#hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours
silenthillbunni
·
2 months
Text
🧸🧃⛈️
#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset
#bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard
#nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc
#nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time
#in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders....
#it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me
#(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them)
#the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply
#also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T
#i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!!
#my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol
#i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot
#why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days
#many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk
#but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie
#yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it
#hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours
#then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do
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