#hoooo boy wish me luck falling asleep this is so annoying!!!!
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dude...
#if I don't stop hyperfixating on my breathing... like... idfk how much longer i can live like this...#it's been happening since last august snd I'm so tired of it.....#it's not even only when I'm high anymore it's like... all the time#i just like.. stop automatically breathing once i think about it and it takes me *so* *fucking* *long* to start again#honestly I'm just typing this post to distract myself a bit and hopefully i just start breathing normally again but I'm still manually#breathing rn. and now im wondering what the normal amount of time in between breaths is and if I'm taking too long ??#i tried to time my breaths with N's but she's asleep so i know it's gonna be different than mine#hoooo boy wish me luck falling asleep this is so annoying!!!!#is this ocd??? I've had several ppl in the past year tell me they think I have it but thinking about it makes me spiral#but it would explain A Lot of my thoughts n habits#anyway. I'm very annoyed with myself rn i just want to breathe normally and not worry myself into panic attacks anymore#actually very worried about how bad my stress in general has been bc there's no way it's been good for my body#ok. time to snuggle up n try to fall asleep!! im v cold rn so i have to warm up before i hug N bc i don't want to wake her with my ice cold#skin lmao. i can't wait for it to be warmer so i don't have to worry/feel bad about that lol#OKAY BBYYYYEEE if you read these tags I'm so very sorry.#rAMbles
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