#holy fuck it's gay pippin
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First Semifinal Eurovision Entries ranked by Gayness:
Norway- 2 out of 10. Nah.
Malta- 5 out of 10. Not overt, but pleasantly camp vibes.
Serbia- 8 out of 10. Vampire twink with BDSM vibes.
Latvia- 1 out of 10. Zzzz.
Portugal- 9 out of 10. I can’t even explain it, but god the divorced gay auntie energy is off the charts.
Ireland- 5 out of 10. Not great, but there are glittery jumpsuits involved.
Croatia- 10 out of 10. There is actual drag and stripping involved, and it appears to be performed by a group of leather daddies reenacting the I Want to Break Free music video while saying fuck you to fascism. It’s perfection.
Switzerland- 1 out of 10. HOW DO YOU DO THIS EVERY YEAR.
Israel- 1 out of 10. The obligatory ariana grande knockoff, and this ones feels like it was generated by an AI trawling instagram. Next!
Moldova- 9 out of 10. No country has a more consistent record than Moldova, and this is no exception. There’s are weird hats and a little person in a folk horror outfit playing a flute. What more could you want?
Sweden- Eh, i’ll give it a 5 out of 10 so no one gets mad. It’s fine, but it’s literally the same thing for like the fifth time.
Azerbaijan- I’ll give it a 6 out of 10 for the outfits alone. Wasn’t expecting to see Merry and Pippin’s boyband phase. Also I genuinely never thought I’d see the day one of the three Caucasus countries didn’t send an ariana grande knock-off.
Czech Republic- 2 out of 10. At least it’s pink.
Netherlands- 1 out of 10. WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND SWITZERLAND.
Finland- 1000 out of 10. What the almighty fuck did I just watch. This is the holy grail of queer eurovision entires. My rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my one good time boy. This might be the gayest eurovision entry of all time, featuring BDSM elements, pink jumpsuits, rainbow strobelights, whips, shirtlessness and gratuitous tongue action. Incomparable.
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true canon: an explanation
True Canon is set in a typical High Fantasy D&D ye olden age world, with monsters and magic and dragons galore. It started out focused entirely on Eve and Viktor and a few others’ travels through a country called Witherhurst, and as we made more characters and stories and kingdoms, we expanded the scope of WotOG (the original D&D game) to cover all of them, until we had a nice world built up around the characters. Since not all of the stories related to the events of WotOG (and WotOG part 2: Electric Boogaloo), we decided to change the name to True Canon, so we knew which universe for sure was the foundation upon which our Many AU’s Stand. Here’s a quick n dirty timeline, for reference:
(much more under the cut)
-Eve, Viktor, and a few others that aren’t relevant to the story travel around Witherhurst on a job or something from a lady who’s Definitely Not Important At All (Her name is Prenella). At some point Prenella ditches the party and they’re stuck without a cleric for a while
-They make it to a big city, and through shenanigans that include travelling the city for fun and also almost dying to a pack of rabid dogs, Eve convinces Intem to join the party.
-Eve, Vik, and now Intem (plus one more pc) unravel a cult plot, something about the end of the world, blah blah nothing really important there. They end up taking out the cult and fighting Prenella, the cult’s leader, who also happens to be a dragon. Neat.
-After that horrifying ordeal, the party reconvenes and decides, ‘fuck it, let’s go find a new place to travel together’ and thus board a ship that they then steal from the captain (after Intem’s “pet” eats said captain).
-So begins the few years the party spends as pirates.
-Things happen, they end up fighting an eldritch god for world-ending rights, and go on their merry way.
- Intem falls into the role of reluctant (but no less ruthless) pirate captain, with vik as his first mate and eve as navigator (despite the fact that she can’t read. they figure it out)
-This is around the time Intem goes from lilac-haired sunshine boy to disgruntled cynic who’s Done With Your Shit, Viktor.
-Eventually the crew docks, and picks up Therai and Pippin for a while. Eve also brings up the idea of reviving Vik’s old travelling companion, Dante (two bros, chillin in a tavern, no feet apart ‘cause they’re so gay), and Intem’s like “Sure why the fuck not” and they set off to find his grave or whatever.
-Hatch and Xander are in the area and end up getting picked up by the crew.
-Dante gets revived, and for the next year or so, everything is fine.
-Eventually the crew docks near Therai’s old home kingdom, and he dips, taking Pippin, Xander, and Hatch with him (he really only meant to take Pip). They spend a while travelling to his kingdom, Aer-Vinn, and encounter Hatch’s long time (boy)friend Aerglo. He joins the party, at Hatch’s request.
-A little while later (vague time frame I know but exact years don’t matter here), there’s some Good Therai Angst when- Shock! Horror! - they end up stumbling upon Tal, who shares ~history~ with Therai. Not the good kind, mind you. They leave soon after meeting Tal.
-There’s a few more encounters with Therai’s old companion before Tal eventually softens up and joins the party, hell yeah. Warren joins too, because he was nearby and Also shares ~history~ with Therai and Tal. (They were all in a party together before this)
-AT THE SAME TIME THIS IS GOING ON: Rain sets out on a holy mission from their church to prove themselves worthy of being a Paladin of the Church.
-They meet Rosemary along the way, and after a small adventure together, they decide to help Rose out and find Catherine with her, because a while back Rose accidentally turned Catherine into, well, a cat.
-They do find Cat, after she’d gone through some Shit in an alternate dimension featuring a Sun Goddess and her complete mental breakdown. Cat Killed A Goddess (or two, we’ll see how the campaign goes), and made friends with the cousins Mikhail and Valentine. Mikhail doesn’t matter to the timeline right now.
-Anyway, Rain and Rose find Cat, and settle down in a little seaside village where they work together to turn Cat back into a human.
-They Succeed!!!
-Uh-oh there’s a stranger at the door- Oh! It’s just Rain’s Cleric friend from their church, Rahon! Turns out Rain kinda went MIA and everyone back home is having a Panic, so Rahon’s here to make sure Rain is alive and well, or collect their belongings if they’re not-
-But they’re alive, so Rahon calms down and decides to stay (after sending a message back home, of course), to keep an eye or two on Rain.
-Rain is Delighted :)
-The party (minus kal) were traveling somewhere, kal ended up going the same way, and they ended up in the same city for a while. rahon saw her Up To No Good, so he kept an eye on them and saw them getting stabbed, and decided to nurse her back to health, and thus Kal Joins The Party. Rahon is an absolute sweetheart to them
-Eventually Rose, Cat, and Rain head out to a nearby cave system bc of Reasons, and end up kinda sorta stumbling into a system that leads to this world’s version of the Underdark. They need help navigating, because Fuck These Tunnels Are Confusing, and come across a little hermit drow who’s living his “best” life in his underground hut with tattered clothes and ratty books and cracked glasses.
-He just wants to see the surface but is terrified of how the world will treat him if he goes up alone, so he offers to guide everyone through the Underdark in exchange for them taking him up to the surface. Everyone agrees
-Astralus, little hermit drow lad, does so, and soon finds himself stumbling out into broad daylight. He’s got light sensitivity and everything Burns, but he’s so fucking happy oh my gods. Also he’s crying but it’s okay, he’s kinda really emotional.
-Aster joins the party! And they find out he’s cousins with Rose, who practically adopted him as a brother anyway let’s be real.
-Somehow Val learns of Cat’s whereabouts, and pops by to say hi to his trauma buddy. Cue shock as he sees her as human for the first time. Aster develops an immediate crush, and takes to following Val around like a lost puppy.
-Val is having a Time because, Aster looks just like a person he knew in an alternate universe and things didn’t turn out well for them. Yikes.
-Val joins the party, if only to tease Cat and finally have a place to be for a while
-MEANWHILE: Bree finds an abomination living in the abandoned mineshafts near her village. She decides he could probably use a friend, since the entire village is pretty scared of/hostile towards him, and becomes that friend. She finds out his name is Ve, and he’s a sweetheart. She makes immediate friends and he teaches her sign language, because he Literally Doesn’t Have A Face, he can’t speak.
-A few weeks later, either Ve or Bree decide to leave bc Fuck This Town, except they don’t say Fuck because they’re both softe beans (they both legally cannot say fuck. and i actually had an idea for how they leave ovo). Either way, they leave, and through shenanigans, they pick up Three More Tieflings, what the hell, which is kinda funny because previously, Bree didn’t think tieflings existed at all.
-Tarvaii and Trancey are travelling together as a Chaotic Mischief Duo, and end up joining the party because Bree made friends
-Same situation with Chaym, though he was alone and depressed because his entire village got massacred. Bree made friends, and Chaym joined the party
-Chaym also ended up teaching Trancey magic, specifically Necromancy, which is kinda really stupid dangerous but it’s fine, Chaym survived, why shouldn’t Trancey? (flawed logic but okay Chaym)
-Cut to a few years later, back with Eve and Co.
-They’re in a tavern, Eve sees a depressed tiefling at the bar. What does she do? Immediately go try to cheer him up.
-She finds out he’d left his pregnant girlfriend on a mission to go help out somewhere, and ended up stuck in a weird place where time passes differently for him. It’s been 26 years, though to him it felt more like a handful of weeks. He’s scared and confused and would very much like to find his family, but he has no idea where he is.
-Eve’s heart breaks bc! he’s so sad and his girlfriend is pregnant and he’s got a family and just wants to get back to them, how could she not want to help? and thus she decides to help the tiefling, Viren, find his family.
-Through a series of events, the find out Viren’s family was living in a beautiful city built into the mountains, that fell quite a few years back. Luckily, his girlfriend left beforehand, and moved to a small mining town, where she gave birth to, and briefly raised, their son. She named him Ve, after his father, who she assumed was dead.
-There was a fire at one point, and Angelica, Viren’s girlfriend, died saving Ve. Viren is absolutely devastated when he finds out, and Eve offers to resurrect Angelica, y’know, bring the family together again, even if for just a short time.
-Vi agrees, and they do so! Woo! Also Eve and co. meet up with Ve for a while so the family really is back together.
-Intem, doing a sneaky trick, makes it so Angelica’s soul keeps the body and just, lives until the body dies, be it natural or unnatural causes. He only tells Eve and Angelica about it, and waits to see how long it takes Viren to realize ‘oh shit I’m not losing my fiance so soon’
-Also Viren and Angelica get engaged! Woo!
-A little while passes, Viren and Anne join the party, and Eve gets pregnant with Intem’s kids. At this point the party’s stopped adventuring, and they all settled down somewhere nice. Anyway Eve’s pregnant and gives birth to twins, Olive and Evergreen (Evan for short), but Olive looks more like Therai than Intem and it’s kinda weird, but nobody really minds because the twins are just, so cute. Also Therai (and co) came back and built the party a nice house, so, yeah.
-Olive and Evan grow up, and Evan takes an interest in Druid Magic. Vik lets Evan access his Giant Library and teaches him general magic stuff. Olive scares her whole ass family by taking an interest in Necromancy, and eventually someone gets in contact with Chaym (and by extension Trancey), and has him come over to teach Olive.
-Olive becomes a necromancer! And then heads off with Evan in tow to start their own life of adventuring.
-Eve has another kid, Avery, with Therai
-Olive befriends a Whole Ass Dragon, gives him the nickname Jade, and introduces him to Evan. By the time the trio make it back to Jade’s hoard, Avery’s taken on the role of Fighter and heads out into the world to do her own thing. She also meets Clover, another fighter, and they travel together for a while before joining Olive, Evan, and Jade.
-That’s it, that’s where we stopped on the timeline of True Canon. It’ll go on, of course, but, here’s the general timeline in 4 pages
#long post#true canon#so! there's the Entire true canon timeline#with some stuff missing here and there but i'm sure we'll get there#anyway this took an hour to write and took up four entire pages on our google doc#so. yeah#mod ash
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maura told me to do these so i guess y’all are gonna find out EVEN MORE about my life tonight (shoutout to op for making this such a long list holy shit)
13: most embarrasing story from your early teens
it’s too late at night to be thinking about my early teens
1776: favorite founding father?
john adams, purely because of 1776
25th annual putnam county spelling bee: biggest middle school achievement
i got into the geography bee? but i was an idiot and didn’t make it to finals
a chorus line: favorite type of dance
modern/improv
aladdin: 3 wishes you want to come true
1. a pretty girl to date and then marry me
2. make me rich so i can have enough money to go into the arts/theater
3. idk? impeach d*nald tr*mp
amelie: strangest dream you’ve ever had
GOD this one is super recent but i was at a party and my current crush got together with my ex? maura, please don’t ask
anastasia: would you rather be rich in money or love?
money tbh
annie: favorite thing about nyc?
there are shops everywhere and everything is technically in walking distance/i don’t need to own a car to get places
avenue q: the muppets or sesame street?
both bitch
bandstand: how much hometown pride do you have?
not much honestly
be more chill: one thing you wish to change about yourself
idk man, i’m tired. cure my depression?
beauty and the beast: small town or big city?
a mix between the two, if that’s even possible. if it’s not possible then big city
bonnie and clyde: favorite dynamic duo
my anxiety and my depression ayyyyyy
book of mormon: one book i love so much that i’d go on a worldwide adventure to tell everyone about
i don’t read for fun anymore
bring it on: something you’re overly competitive about
theater? isn’t theater always competitive? idk
carrie: favorite prank
none of them because pranks are a thing that trigger hella anxiety
charlie and the chocolate factory: favorite candy
haribo. buy me any form of haribo and you’re instantly my one true love. especially the rainbow frogs.
cinderella: shoe size
womens 9
come from away: one place you’d like to travel
idk? i’d say new york but i’m going there in may so uhhhh england?
dear evan hansen: favorite social media platform
instagram
dogfight: describe your first school dance
i’ve blocked the entirety of middle school out of my brain so my freshman homecoming was FUCKING INSANE. i made the mistake of wearing a full suit and everyone was sweating so much that the windows fogged up
falsettos: favorite baseball team
i don’t do sports
fiddler on the roof: how many siblings do you have?
none :::):):)
footloose: could you survive a world without dance
probably not because i do theater
frozen: one super power you wish you had
teleportation
grease: summer lovers of high school sweethearts
high school sweethearts i guess
groundhog day: one day you wish you could live in forever
tbh the day my ex asked me out NOT BECAUSE OF THE PERSON but because of the feeling. or any of the fall play performances
hairspray: describe your go to hairstyle
a ponytail. that’s it.
hamilton: which schuyler sister do you relate to the most?
peggy because everyone forgets about me
heathers: favorite slurpee flavor
blue raspberry cherry mix. if you don’t mix flavors then what the hell are you doing
in the heights: what’s your heritage?
idk? i think i’m from all over eastern europe
in transit: favorite subway/street performer/performance
i don’t know any by name
into the woods: least favorite camping experience
this one time my mom told me we were going camping the day before we actually went and we stayed in a cabin in the middle of nowhere with no wifi and it was just super spontaneous and i hated it
legally blonde: what’s your sterotype?
GAY
the lion king: favorite animal
is there a point to having a favorite animal
mary poppins: have you ever flown a kite?
hell yeah
matilda: favorite teacher
probably my french teacher, i can’t wait to have him for three more years
the great comet: best party you’ve ever been to
this giant fall play cast party. we broke a ping pong table and people called me pretty
newsies: have you ever been in the local paper? why?
i was six and part of the local garden club. if i can find a picture i’ll put it here
pippin: have you ever been to the circus?
nope
rent: favorite thing about life
??it’s too late to think about these kind of things
school of rock: favorite instrument
piano
the sound of music: which is more important: faith or love?
love (also fun fact this is the musical i’m named after :)) i might sing a song from it for my school’s cabaret who knows)
spring awakening: age when life bothered you the most
13
waitress: favorite dessert
ice cream
wicked: biggest insecurity
my face and body
the wizard of oz: your definition of home
?a place you live?
alright that’s it folks
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return of the blog, part 4
“today was a good day for kabbalah but there’s only so much reading I can do. anyway here’s a summary of a huge amount of text I’m about to read”
THE BATTLE OF THE PELENNOR FIELDS
The Rohirrim are here! I think they legitimately have more fighters than the entire Minas Tirith, especially right now after a bunch of Gondorians got killed. AND they’re all mounted. So they’re doing great, and the Witch King is pissed. Naturally, he shoots Theoden’s horse (pinning him under it) and flies his pterodactyl down so it can eat the horse. Sorry that’s sick as fuck. Also I’m pretty sure Theoden is going to die, given how many times he’s emphasized that he’s an old man and just wants to do some last killing before he dies. That’s fine! He’s dying well. The only people around who could possibly help him are Merry and Dernhelm.
Merry crawled on all fours like a dazed beast, and such a horror was on him that he was blind and sick.
‘King’s man! King’s man!’ his heart cried within him. ‘You must stay by him. As a father you shall be to me, you said.’ But his will made no answer, and his body shook. He dared not open his eyes or look up.
That good... catatonia feel...
Dernhelm yells at the Witch King and calls him a “dwimmerlaik,” which, I don’t know what that is but it sounds very insulting. In response he tell Eowyn not to interfere or she’ll be taken to the “houses of lamentation,” which sounds like honestly a pleasant place to publicly grieve your loved ones but actually it’s a place to be flayed and have your mind crushed by Sauron. No living man can touch him!
Well it’s a good thing Eowyn is a WOMAN (for now)! She will SMITE him if he touches her uncle. Merry thinks that she should not die! And then amends, because he has realistic expectations of himself, that she shouldn’t die alone. While he’s trying to psych himself up she chops the pterodactyl’s fucking head off. NICE. All the extra light it was sucking up gathers around her and she shines. The Witch King is Looming angrily over Eowyn when Merry stabs him in the knee, leaving Eowyn free to stab him in the face (aye! stab him in the face he hasna got!), and then there’s this cool bit where his clothes just suddenly are empty and they fall to the ground. Eowyn passes out from the magical backlash and Merry is left alone among the dead. Theoden says goodbye to him and he apologizes a bunch of times, sweet teen. Eomer rides up and composes a poem on the spot?? about how they should save mourning for later. Very cool. He’s crying as he recites it.
Then he sees Eowyn and shouts “DEATH! DEATH! DEATH!” and tells everyone to go WRECK SAURON’S SHIT. Soon everyone starts shouting DEATH as they ride. That’s. Awesome. Imagine you’re an orc and all these humans on tall horses are riding toward you in a wall, chanting DEATH. DEATH. DEATH. You’d swoon in fear, probably. You’d just lie down and pretend to already be dead.
Merry picks up the shield Eowyn gave him and walks beside the pallbearers carrying Theoden and Eowyn. Prince of Amroth comes up and says “hey Eowyn’s alive might want to check that out,” presumably because he has studied medicine more thoroughly, as a prince, than any of the killers among the Rohirrim. There’s more fighting stuff. Horses don’t like the mammoths that Haradrim ride. Wait holy shit GOTHMOG is here also. I can’t believe nobody has killed that motherfucker yet. He’s got to be like the oldest person on Middle Earth (besides obvious exceptions like Sauron, Galadriel, and Tom Bombadil. What a trio!). And then people see black sails coming up the Anduin and everyone’s like Well Fuck. Except Eomer, who is drunk on bloodlust and wants the corsairs to come on if they think they’re hard enough.
BUT we finally learn that Arwen’s black-on-black flag was actually! Just being seen at night. It’s the standard of Elendil, Aragorn is here. Hurrah. How, uh, how did he get those ships? Is that going to be explained? Anyway for maximum psychological impact Aragorn is holding his magic sword high and wearing the elessar on his brow. We timeskip to sunset, when everything is red. The sky, the ground, even the river. Thank goodness the battle is over and we didn’t have to read any overwrought scenes of Legolas taking down a mammoth on his own. Small blessings. After this we jump into the far future just long enough to hear a song composed by future bards of Rohan about the battle of the Pelennor Fields. It’s basically just a list of people who died, but it has a good ending:
Grey now as tears, gleaming silver,
red then it rolled, roaring water:
foam dyed with blood flamed at sunset;
as beacons mountains burned at evening;
red fell the dew in Rammas Echor.
Speaking of people who are dead, let’s check on
THE PYRE OF DENETHOR
Pippin finally finds Gandalf, who is in an extreme hurry to be off somewhere else until Pippin says the words “burned alive.” Reluctantly Gandalf says he’ll save Faramir, even at the cost of the other lives he is currently protecting.
They find that Beregond’s post has been deserted, and he’s fighting several other guards--this is a great last stand, he’s fighting well in accord with the inverse ninja law or whatever it’s called, and has already killed two guys. I hope Beregond doesn’t die, he’s such a nice bloke. Denethor is the one who ordered him killed; I guess they were bringing the fire? Faramir is NOT on fire yet, but Denethor seems to think he is. I can’t tell if it’s a metaphor or a delusion. I don’t like this whole “his mind is broken” thing. It’s tragic I guess but can we not. Anyway Denethor is overcome with despair and wants to just die preemptively, but also he wants to yell at Gandalf for trying to take his throne some more before he does die. And he still wants to kill Faramir so they can “be together.” It just occurred to me that there’s a great Eowyn/Faramir parallel here. Eowyn nearly dies protecting her father-figure after being told not to, and is borne away; Faramir nearly dies protecting his father who low-key wants him dead and instead of rushing to find him medicine tries to burn him alive. This indicates a Theoden/Denethor foil thing; it’s better to die in battle than to kill yourself out of fear, Tolkien tells us. Maybe it’s also better to try protecting your kids instead of killing them?? Just a thought. Anyway I like the contrast of the two kings dying in very, very different ways, with very different thoughts on their heirs.
Denethor throws himself on the fire and Gandalf walks out, closes the door, and addresses the guards: “Well, that’s that! Come on, let’s go put Faramir on a bed and administer zero medicine and let fate decide whether he lives.” Dude no. Gandalf walks outside and sees that the sun has appeared again, therefore the Witch King is dead. And then I guess he immediately divines how that happened? He could have prevented a lot of death and misery if he hadn’t been saving Faramir, so thanks a lot Denethor.
Next time: THE HOUSES OF HEALING. I think this is Eowyn/Faramir gay content.
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I got tagged by @a-mi-zivi
Rules:
1. Tell us your Top 10 characters from different fandoms. (…I limited myself to five, each. Except HP, because it was too hard. Dude, that was hard enough. All arranged alphabetically, not in order of preference or anything.)
2. Tag 10 people.
tagging: @bizeke @donttouchandrewminyard @derekslaura @gentlepromises @girlronanlynch @pansexualpoedamneron @gaylukeskywalkers @scarlettwitchery @saralanceing @bpdrussell & literally anyone else who wants to do it can just do it and blame me (and contrariwise, if I tagged you and you don’t want to do it, no pressure <3)
Community: Abed Nadir, Dean Pelton, Jeff Winger, Shirley Bennett, (my number five changes on a daily basis, usually between Troy, Annie, and Britta, but I can’t pick right now, so fuck it, I pick Annie Kim and Quendra with a QU)
DC: Cassandra Cain/Black Bat, Harley Quinn, Jason Todd/Red Hood, Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow, Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy
But honorable mention nods go to Dick Grayson/Nightwing, Koriand’r/Starfire, Raven/Rachel Roth, Renee Montoya/Question, Roy Harper/Speedy/Red Arrow, Stephanie Brown/Spoiler, Tim Drake/Red Robin, and Wonder Woman, and this list was hard for, “there are SO MANY CHARACTERS, THE FUCK” reasons.
And Sandman technically is a DC title, but whatever: Death, Delirium/Delight, Desire, Despair, and Dream/Morpheus of the Endless, tyvm
Good Omens: Adam “the Antichrist” Young, Anathema Device, Aziraphale, Crowley, Pepper (Pippin Galadriel Moonchild)
Harry Potter: Andromeda Black Tonks, Barty Crouch Jr., Cedric Diggory, Cho Chang, Hermione Granger, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Lavender Brown, Luna Lovegood, Pansy Parkinson, Percy Weasley, Remus Lupin, Zacharias Smith
Sirius Black and Severus Snape get to share honorable mention status because, even though they are actually in my top ten, I know that being on the same point would annoy the ever-living shit out of both of them. Which amuses me because I am easily entertained.
AlSev Potter and Scorpius Malfoy get to share a point because the ones I love are essentially headcanon, since my take on Cursed Child is, “*nods* Uh huh… that’s nice… I’m going to ignore like 99% of it, but okay, it’s nice”
Legit Honorable Mentions:
[this is where i’d list the Dumbledore family and Gellert but it’s Complicated and i can’t legit list them without needing to Discuss it, so let’s just not even bother today]
Bill Weasley
Charlie Weasley
Dean Thomas
Dolores Umbridge
(in a way where I absolutely despise her as a person, but I appreciate her presence in the story because she is, along with Barty Jr., the only fucking COMPETENT villain in the books.
Also, she’s the actual, “repulsive to the core but makes no excuses for it just like white male villains, does her own thing and fuck anyone who tries to stop her, self-determined and she has decided to be awful, feminist on a meta level where she’s terrible just to be terrible without any excuses being made for it” villain that so many people have tried to make out of Bellatrix, when…… lol no, Bellatrix is a total fucking joke, sorry ‘bout it.
Like, man, Umbridge sucks, but she enriches the story and presents an actual, credible threat that has any kind of internal consistency and isn’t just, “I read an entry on fascism in a children’s encyclopedia and made it an OTT cartoon caricature of itself and added some cult leader BS because of reasons or w/e, and named it Voldemort, lol” — I appreciate that, as a reader, even if JKR did it more by accident than anything)
Fleur Delacour
Gilderoy Lockhart
(I blame myself entirely for making up Kingsley/Lockhart headcanons and getting Defensive of him in the face of JKR’s ableism; I should’ve known better, because shit like literally always happens to me, but I did it anyway because I never fucking learn)
Harry Potter
Justin Finch-Fletchley
(……I have post-war headcanons. A lot of them. You probably don’t want to know them, though, bc they’re depressing as fuck)
Nymphadora Tonks
Parvati Patil
Regulus Black
Ron Weasley
Ted Tonks
Viktor Krum
and a whole bunch of characters who are basically headcanon because they are literally just names who do like one or two things and that's it
Hunger Games: Annie Cresta, Finnick Odair, Johanna Mason, Katniss Everdeen, Madge Undersee
Marvel: shit, I did this one last and I have to go to therapy, so this is basically, “the order in which they came to mind and I stopped at eight bc holy fucking SHIT, there are a lot of characters” — Erik/Magneto, Kurt “Nightcrawler” Wagner (my small blue Catholic mutant son <3), Sam, Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Ororo, and I feel like I should list someone else, but anyone who knows my usual type knows that Loki is exactly my type and I was all but doomed to be Loki trash. Which I am. Whoops. Sorry for my choices.
Sailor Moon: Fiore (……from the “Promise of the Rose” movie. ……I love my gay glam rock alien son), Tenoh Haruka/Sailor Uranus, Tomoe Hotaru/Sailor Saturn/Mistress Nine, Tsukino “Chibi” Usagi/Sailor Chibi Moon/Wicked Lady/Princess Usagi Small Lady Serenity/etc., Tsukino Usagi/Sailor Moon/Princess + Neo Queen Serenity/etc.
Star Trek (DS9): Captain Benjamin Lafayette “the rest of Starfleet are a bunch of slackers, has YOUR captain become space Jesus and saved the entire Alpha Quadrant lately” Sisko, Elim Garak, Julian Bashir, Kira Nerys, Tora Ziyal
Kasidy, Worf, Jadzia, General Martok, and Ezri get honorable mentions because this list was really hard to even whittle down to FIVE, but.
Star Wars and, “Star Trek (Everything But DS9)” were vetoed as categories because picking was hard and I didn’t feel like it.
Steven Universe: Amethyst, Connie Maheswaran, Garnet, Lapis Lazuli, Peridot
Yuri On Ice: Christophe Giacometti, Katsuki Yuuri, Lee Seung-Gil, Phichit Chulanont, Victor Nikiforov
Bonus — My Own Novel(s) bc Reasons: (also done before running to therapy) Sebastian, Pete, Josie, Margot, Lucy.
#memes for ts#fandom shenanigans#mine: memes#mine: shitposting#mine: personal#hi hello i'm trash glad we established that#i'll add better tags later if i need to okay bye i need to go to therapy
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