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dailyunstableeve · 7 months

Text

I'm here

Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader

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TW: Angst, mention of mental illnesses, self-harms, self sabotaging, feeling hopeless, Eating disorder, some ptsd mention, blood, sharp object, some swearings, a few use of Y/N because I love how Hobie addressed name to mean he cares about you, huge amount of self destruct

A/n: I tried to write this based on my experience of my mental health, I always fight it through the episodes myself so I thought why not stay delulu and write one that would make me feel I'm strong when I needed comfort, with fictional characters. This is for comfort purposes ❤️

Words: 1.2k

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It's another messy night for you, you trapped yourself in your dark messy room. Clothes are all over the floor, your books shatter around your bookshelves, your make-up table is filled with many different sizes of bottles, you can't tell which one is make-up and which one is your meds. You're all curled up in your bed, tears rolling down your face with a blade that you've hid very well that no one found it, in your hand. No one has ever found the blade, you hid it in a place that no one would look at, the small space in your bed frame, not even Hobie.

Today is a fucked up day, you were bullied in school, you have many friends but none really stood up for you because they are also friends with the bullies. The bullies were your friends too, they used to be so kind and caring until a bitch joined and made everyone turn against you because you're an easy target.

You've returned home, finding out your parents are out for holidays, they can't bring you along because you have school.

You tried to dial Hobie first but he isn't picking up, and here you are, on your bed, crying with the blade in your hand. The more you cry, the more disappointed you are to yourself so you slided the blade on your arm, the more you're mad at yourself the more you cut. Your bed sheet is also a mess now, a whole puddle of blood stained on the bed. If anyone walked in and you weren't holding the blade, they might just think your period stained it.

Your arm starts to have the chills of burning, it hurts but it feels good at the same time, as if the pain in your heart is transferred to your arms, it eases the pain.

An hour passes, you stop crying but you start to feel light-headed, your vision is turning more blurry as it should be. You forgot that you haven't eaten a meal at all for the past 15 hours ever since you woke up, all you did was drink water, hoping that just by drinking it will stop the growling but it only makes you more hungry but you don't care. Together with your blood continuing to drip out from your wound arm, you might just die of blood loss.

"Oi, what the fuck you're doing?" Hearing the tone of speaking, you know it's Hobie but you already lost the strength to do anything at the moment.

"Answer me!" The first thing Hobie did was to take the blade away from you, he cupped his hand on your face, trying to take a better look at you, you look so drained.

Hobie tried to carry you but then his hand ran through your wet bed sheet that's stained with blood.

"You can't be serious," he grabbed your arm, you tried to pull back but what strength do you still have? "Why did you do this?" He called your name, demanding an answer from you while he tried to press on the wound to stop the bleeding.

"Goddammit Y/N," Hobie's voice cracked a little. He's close to just bursting into tears because it breaks his heart to see you like this.

A lifeless purpose body.

It's also the first time you've seen Hobie like this. You didn't mean to hurt him, didn't mean for him to see you like this. You thought Hobie won't appear because he didn't answer your calls so you sabotage yourself.

"I'm sorry," you were finally able to have the words fall out your mouth, the moment you did, you started to cry, tears rolling down your cheeks again.

Let's say it's the love you have for Hobie, that you don't want to see him getting worried and sad about you so you decided to speak again, and try to make him not to worry about it even though you know he will end up worrying.

"Shh, it's alright luv, I'm here now," Hobie quickly hugged you, caressingly your hair to calm you down.

Now that there's someone you truly love is here with you, you feel safe, that you just let out all of your tears. You gripped on his jacket so hard as your tears wetted his shirt and Hobie didn't even complain about it.

"I got you luv, you're safe now," Hobie whispered.

After you've stopped crying, Hobie carried you to the bathroom and washed up your cuts and gave you his freshly washed clothes. At first he was just planning to have a normal sleepover because he knows your parents won't be home for a few days, maybe two weeks, so he wanted to make sure you're alright and he also promised your parents to look after you. Forgot to mention Hobie is the favorite child in this household after you.

"Feeling better?" Hobie passed you a glass of cold water, since you love any drink that's cold.

You took the drink from Hobie and slowly nodded while you looked at your bandaged arms, how long would it take for it to color red again?

"Y/N" Hobie squaded down in front of you, turning your attention to him fully instead of your arm, "I love you, you got it?"

You nodded, you never questioned Hobie's love for you.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Hobie held your hand, kissing on it.

"It's them, they turned everyone on me, no one talks to me at all, everywhere I got was nothing but judgy eyes," you cried.

You would scream at yourself to stop being a crybaby but the person you love and feel safe around is in front of you, you wouldn't want to hold in your true feelings.

"Want me to pick you tomorrow?" Hobie looked at you, with the eyes that just demanded you to say yes because you can't deny him and you know it would be great for you.

"Sure, but what if the teachers saw you?" You softly chuckled because whenever Hobie shows up at your school to pick you up, there will be some teachers chasing Hobie away from the school and he would have to wait for you at other places.

"Don't worry about it, because you're going to show them off that you have a cool boyfriend and I would show them my grumpy face so they will back off from you," Hobie starts to make funny faces and you laugh along with it, "a smile suit you more, luv."

"Thank you, Hobie."

With Hobie around, he surely made you feel that you belong.

Hobie definitely cleans up your room and changes your bed sheet while he pushes you to take a shower, he makes sure that you feel refreshed and happy the moment you step out from your shower.

Just like he promised, he did show up at your school's gate, this time he didn't get chased away by the teachers, instead the teachers just stood a few feets from him, eyeing on him but Hobie just doesn't care. Hobie waved his hand up high the moment he saw you, he would respect you if you weren't used to show affection in public so the first thing Hobie does is take your heavy bag from you and held your hand because he craves your touch (cuz his love language is physical touch)

When he saw your bullies, he would just give them a smug smile with a threading look, which scares your bullies.

"Thank you, Hobie."

"Anything for my cute luv," with a kiss on your face.

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A/n: stay delulu everyone ❤️ I'm just gonna say again, this is written based on my experience and of course I went through all of it myself with my maladaptive daydreaming except for me the bullying only stop when the truth of the bullies are out then I was out from the schools bullies list. To everyone who's also struggling with bullies, stay safe, find someone who you know will help you no matter what happened, even some adult doesn't care about it, but some still do, it's alright to ask for help ❤️ I may be not the best help you can get but I hope you find some comfort from this and take a good care of yourself, you deserve the world, not the world deserve you ❤️

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unidentifiable-body · 8 months

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‘Ello hello HELLOOOOOO DID SOMEONE SAY HOBIE BROOOOWWWNNNN AAAAYYY!!?!?!? MAAAAAATTTTEEEE HOLY FUUUUUUCCCKKKK I HAVE MISSED YOOOOUUUU MAD LAD PAV?!? BIG STEPPA ‼️‼️ YOU ALRIGHT MATE⁉️ Nah but legit mate?! I��ve missed you SO fucking much!!!! My host wouldn’t let me fucking front cause I was gettin all ‘too worried’ about you. AKA I was screaming and getting angry cause I was scared for you!! Gotta look after my lil bro!! Nah but legit mate. I’ve missed you so fucking much I’m so happy you’re back. Lemme know when things are gettin bad again yeah? And I’ll be there, legit love you so fucking much mate 💥🎤🎸🎸💥💥🎤🎤🎤

HOBIEEEEEEE MY GUYYYY!!! YOU'RE BACKKKKK AHHHH!!!!

IM SOOOO SOSOSO SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WORRY!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH ASWELL MAN! AHHH!!!!! BUT I PROMISE I'M A-OKAY NOW!! Not remembering much about your source and then getting bombarded with traumatic ones kinda- sucks you know? I do feel very very awful for making you and everyone else I care most about worry- I can't only beg for all of your forgiveness, truly.

Things are...Okay? I think?? Everyone else has been good, Other than Peni, she's been a bit stressed and panicked lately, and where pretty sure she's been in a bit of a depressive state because whenever she's fronted she doesn't feed the body at all, so the host (Jev- He says hi by the way!!) Isn't allowing her to front at all- but she IS missing you very very much- although she always is, we THINK it's because she misses our source and not being able to be here physically with you, she just misses you being her older brother and I do not blame her!!

Of course I will!!! I promise to take care of myself for you, LOVE YOU SO MUCH ASWELL!!!! INFACT I LOVE YOU MORE AHAHA!!! SENDING YOU ALL THE BAKED GOODS IN THE WORLD!!

-✧˖°Pavitr/Pascal

#unidentifiable ushers~☆

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