“You see—uh, you see this small, sort of stalky looking goblin, uhh, alchemist warlock kid who’s sporting a pair of electric green tinted goggles propped over his forehead.

He’s got this curly grown-out braided mohawk that hangs in front of his eyes and ends in a little mullet—dressed kind of like, mangy Y2K, you know, little t-shirt that reads sweet heart in old curvy hippie font, insanely low-cut faded jeans, his midriff just like full [CHUCKLES]—fully on display. There’s a belt of tools and vials with shimmering, neon swirling liquid strapped really low around his hips and you see it’s kind of like [LAUGHS], studded.

Big round potions hang off one side and you notice on the other there’s a little holster for a pocket-sized, what looks like a grimoire, and even just peeking you can see it’s pink and absolutely bedazzled with rhinestones. Like it says Book of Shadows in silvery white puffy glitter glue.

You see [LAUGHS]—he’s got the like, one fang poking out from under the lip, and his eyes look almost—one is honey yellow and the other is pale cyan, and his pupils almost look like they’re permanently slitted paper-thin. As you approach his ears kind of twitch sensing your presence and you see they end in these small, dark green tufts, sort of like a bobcat’s. He looks up from his crystal and his like, manicured jet-black claws just keep skittering across the screen. He’s got a lollipop stick in his mouth but it’s like, budging like there’s no more lollipop and he’s just been chewing on it for wayyy too long.”