#her house comeback yassss | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yakumtsaki · 7 years

Photo

Welcome, dear readers, to the much anticipated Union Season 1 finale, featuring the diverse cast of well-developed characters we’ve all come to love, such as cheating whore #1, cheating whore #2, and my personal favorite, cheating whore #3. Also starring purple Hannibal Lecter, Melody Tinker’s sunglasses, and Leon Trotsky. Last update saw the erotic tension between resident porn-king Gunther and his brother’s intended, Regina George Brittany Upsnott finally boil over, leading to this harrowing image:

GOOD TIMES. Let’s pick up right where we left off..

.. namely precious Gunther immediately jumping into bed with Melody not two minutes after his close encounter of the Brit kind. Guns has been suspiciously loyal and un-gross ever since we moved out of the dorms, but apparently his goal for senior year is to out-worst everyone else in the house. What a comeback!

Meanwhile Brit is depressingly bowling her frustrations away under the unforgiving desert sky. Whaddup Brit, you must be dealing with some pretty complicated emotions right now.

-What?? No way, I’m totally, totally fine!

I mean sure, why wouldn’t you be, it’s not like you’ve fucked literally everything up. After spending half of college dealing with fucking HaremGate all I wanted was an uneventful senior year I could speed through, but that would be too easy now, WOULDN’T IT.

-The pins are you well-laid out plans for the future!

UGH Brit seriously, this isn’t happening. As in we’re gonna pretend it literally never happened, you’re gonna marry Daniel, Gunther is gonna marry Mel, everyone will live happily ever after and that’s the last I’m gonna hear of this bullshit.

BRIT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY

-I’m just heartfarting, GAWD

Yea you’re also about to fucking serenade him in front of Mel, have you legit lost your mind??? Is this how the rest of this year will go, me chasing you around cancelling your dumbass actions?

-Probably! lolol!

-Aww Brit, if there was an award for best couple, we would definitely win it <3

-Oh please, Gunther and I have you totally beat!

-Yea right Mel, bet you §10 me and Brit are gonna move in together before you and Gunther do!

-…So how you liking that pizza, Gunther?

-…Oh it’s good, Brit, thanks for asking.

Meanwhile it looks like my restless Jojo/Wyatt reconciliation efforts have finally borne fruit! Good job, Wyatt!

-It’s no job, I’m just following mon coeur!

Nice, follow it all the way to redemption!

YASSSS. I can’t stress enough how many times Wyatt had to apologize to get us to this point, I’m talking half their awake time for 3 days. God. The whole thing has been an extremely repetitive nightmare but finally we can put it to rest. Much like we put Frances! BURN IN HELL

Finally, the universe has responded to my desperate pleas. I will even forgive the creepy ass llama because for once the cheering is completely appropriate. Reunited and it feels so good! Especially for me because if I had to press the apologize button one more time istg.

Well.. The universe giveth and the universe taketh away. Literally can’t leave these dicks unsupervised for more than a minute before they start slutting it up. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO

-Oh oh oh oh oh OH, caught in a bad romance <3

STOP SINGING INTO EACH OTHER’S MOUTHS. It’s time for drastic measures. Gunther is obviously unfamiliar with the concept of decency but maybe there’s still hope for Brittany..

..especially after Daniel gives her a high-class romantic evening! Looking great, Dan. Please stop picking your teeth.

-I’m so uncomfortable, my hair hasn’t seen the light of day since I was a toddler! I’m putting my cap back on.

DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Also suppress your gag reflex + every instinct in your body because it’s time-

-to hit Londoste! OOH LA LA

-Brit, I feel like we’re.. ridiculously overdressed.

-No such thing, darling!

-I’ll be having the filet mignon and a glass of the Veronaville ‘64, thank you.

-And I’ll be having chicken nuggets and a detailed report of the working conditions in this bourgie hellhole.

-DANIEL YOU PROMISED

-Let’s raise a glass to us and our magical evening together-

-Yes, and this delicious food, stained with the tears of the working farmhand-

-Daniel, please.

-My beloved ice queen, even though the diamond engagement ring “tradition” is another completely made up, SHAMELESS CAPITALIST SCAM, I just couldn’t bear the thought of wounding your gigantic, aggressively materialistic ego.. Marry me, my darling, be my Nadezhda!

-OH baby of course I’ll marry you! Everything before this moment doesn’t count, right?

-I mean.. sure?

-Great!

Yes, what a wonderful, subtle night.

-Oh Brit, you make me the happiest worker alive, which of course is a completely paradoxical state under capitalism!

AWW MEANT TO BE <3 Finally we can put that gross, freckled chapter behind us.

THAT’S RIGHT YOU BETTER RUN

-WOOO congrats for not cheating for an entire day, Gunther!

Our greek house is currently at a pathetic level 3 and it’s not hard to see why. As if the graves of Jojo’s former flames weren’t enough to put people off, imagine walking by and seeing this.

This shit is still going on and has reached the hate-boner point where these two have permanent wants to see each other’s ghost. So much for nice points!

Also going on: this bizzare, inexplicable feud that appeared literally out of nowhere.

-SHUT UP WYATT MAGIC ISN’T REAL

-IT SO IS MAGIQUE IS ALL AROUND US

Finals are upon us! Only one semester of this fuckery left. There are of course two kinds of people, the kind pictured above..

..and my peeps.

Gunther, who hasn’t done anything college related since we were back in the dorms and Blue Meatballs et al were writing his papers, somehow still has a 4.0 gpa. Wow Gunther, what’s your secret??

-It’s no secret, I banged the half-alien professor.

Oh right lmao. You’re looking pretty down boo, what’s wrong?

-Man idk, I’m struggling with what might be like.. legit feelings for Brit.

WHAT. WELL PUT THEM BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM GUNTHER AND DRINK YOUR SORROWS AWAY LIKE AN ADULT. GOD

YOU TOO BRITTANY. ISTFG YOU ASSHOLES ARE NOT FUCKING THIS UP ANY FURTHER.

CAUSE HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST PERSON WHO WENT OFF SCRIPT. Looking good, Fran!

…………………………poor Brittany obviously suffered a stroke at some unspecified point in time. As if she didn’t have enough problems.

SO. CLOSE. We just have to get through this one semester without the entire charade imploding, is that too much to ask????

APPARENTLY YES. GODDAMMIT GUNTHER

-The heart wants what it wants.

What DOES it want tho, Selena, cause last time I checked you were in love with Mel you GIANT ASS

-Yea, hell if I know! Huhu!

IF I HEAR YOU PEOPLE HUHU ONE MORE TIME

In equally distressing news Mickey Dosser was passing by and I invited him in just to see if he would go straight for the bubbles, which he of course did..

..a move so irresistible that Wyatt had to stop and swoon over him literally in the middle of his millionth Jojo apology. I’ve honestly never had a sim court death as persistently as Wyatt, dude straight up WANTS TO DIE.

-HOW DARE YOU WALTZ IN HERE AND TRY TO SEDUCE MY BOYFRIEND RIGHT BEFORE MY VERY EYES YOU VILE DISGUSTING SLOB

-Wut

-GET. OUT. BEFORE I STUFF YOU AND PUT YOU ON MY PORCH FOR HALLOWEEN

-Wyatt.. I sensed it was you.

-Of course, Jojό <3 I got your message, why did you send a raven, I’m just upstairs-

-SILENCE. I invited you here, to my favorite place on this entire wretched planet, the center around which revolves my very existence..

-..to ask you a very important question that I want you to CAREFULLY consider, taking into account that you’re standing next to the graves of the last people to betray me..

-Wyatt Monif, you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. Almost from the earliest moments of our acquaintance, I have come to feel for you a passionate admiration and regard, which despite all my struggles and your whoring around, has overcome every rational objection, and I beg you most fervently to relieve my suffering and consent to be my husband. Also to please ignore my brother woohooing in the hot tub behind us and ruining the moment.

-MON DIEU JOJÓ, OUI, OUI A THOUSAND TIMES OUI!! <3

-Wyatt.

-Oui? <3

-Please don’t make me murder you, ok? Promise?

-Never, Jojό!

AW, what a beautiful engagement you guys, I’m tearing up.

AND FINALLY, IT’S OVER. Gunther seriously graduated summa cum laude, how in the fucking world I legit dk but whatever!

The last supper.. The Union bros have all graduated and I’m gonna speed-play the rest through their last year. Also Daniel and Melody are bffs now, I didn’t even know they were talking but nice.

Time to go back where we came from! Ah, all grown up. It seems like yesterday they were toddlers surviving on cat food.

Brit is the youngest of the bunch and has the whole house to herself after Mel and Wyatt graduate, a situation she takes advantage of by ALMOST CHEATING WITH THE FUCKING LLAMA. BRIT ISTG

Finally, it’s time for Brit to leave our gross, incestuous cocoon. We’re gonna need a placeholder for the next generation tho, so as much as it pains me to say..

..it’s Frances time. Bitch literally scares Brit as she’s trying to resurrect him, way to make me doubt my merciful decision Fran!

Ugh great. Welcome back, Frances. I really did prefer you dead.

Yea, can’t make any promises there. I don’t know what kind of wave of kindness overcame me, but I felt bad for Fran being all alone so…

-I’M BACK BITCHES

Can’t believe we wasted 20k on these assholes but whatever. Time to grow up, Brit!

Oh yea, looking good! Taking the ‘on Wednesdays we wear pink’ rule to extreme lengths.

And we’re out of here, leaving the place in the capable hands of Fran and Ti-Ning, who immediately reconnect for a hot tub celebration of life.

So normally you’d think that would be the end of it and we’d get to the heir vote, right? RIGHT?

WRONG. Please bear with me through this incredible bullshit. So I’m taking the heir vote portraits, specifically Jojo’s, and everyone else is hanging around on the edges of this empty photoshoot lot, when suddenly the fight cloud appears. At first I think it’s Wyatt/Daniel aka business as usual but then I make the horrifying discovery that it’s.. DANIEL/BRIT.

As expected, the MINUTE I looked away, Gunther/Brit went for it in plain sight, leading to the eruption of a massive shitshow. I’m like ok w/e we’re basically in pre-heir vote limbo so it doesn’t count, I’ll just quit without saving. But THEN I take a look at Daniel’s panel.. AND SEE THIS:

I’ve literally no idea WTF HAPPENED, HOW IT HAPPENED, WHY, WHO MADE THE FIRST MOVE but the fact is that right after catching Gunther/Brit cheating, Melody and Daniel somehow got together even though they have never given any indication of being into each other and have one sole pathetic bolt. My best guess is 4-nice-points Melody went for it as a revenge but seriously WHAT THE FUCK

GOOD TIMES. At this point I’m obviously even more like ‘I’M GONNA QUIT WITHOUT SAVING’ so I’m just taking these pics for shits and giggles, but THEN I look at Gunther’s panel… and see probably the most disturbing want I’ve ever come across:

OK THEN. Reminder that Gunther’s secondary is PLEASURE so there’s literally no explanation for this shit except for legit. true love. As much planning as I did for these couples I’m like who am I to refuse A ROMANCE SIM’S engagement want???? I mean I also planned for Jojo to marry Frances and we all saw how that went. So I decide to save the game, even though it’s kinda unorthodox since it didn’t happen during actual gameplay but w/e, you just can’t ignore shit like that!!

So I revisit the lot the next day and am faced with a shitshow of cosmic proportions. The whole thing is like a bizzaro parallel universe, I mean you have Brit and Dan legit looking like they crossed over from the set of NLL..

..Gunther and Mel heartfarting over each other while also wanting to beat each other up..

..this torrid affair out in the open..

..AND WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS. I changed their turn-ons and now they have 3 bolts cause it felt like they really got the short end of the stick but I still can’t get over this bullshit happening in the first place. At least Jojo and Wyatt are having a good time! I guess at this point there’s only one thing left to do..

..simultaneous break ups! The couple that dumps their fiances together stays together.

Moving on to simultaneous crying/sighs of relief. If it seems like I’m halfassing this by not writing any dialogue it’s because I am, but I legit can’t, the whole situation is just too absurd to dramatize.

And now to complete the wife-swap..

Incredible. Now, hold on to your seats, everyone.. because the red ring memory..

IS NOT GUNTHER’S. WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL. BRIT GOT A RED RING FROM HER ROMANCE SECONDARY BUT SOMEHOW GUNTHER DIDN’T??? Honestly I’m hardly a romantic but. TRUE LOVE. Or a glitch. Let’s go with true love.

And there you have it. The end of generation 1, which will live in the annals of history as the one where literally no one ended up with the person I had in mind for them and I might as well haven’t been there for all the control I had over these assholes.

NOW. TIME TO VOTE.

WHO WILL IT BE????

Head over to my lj for a handy guide to voting + the link to the poll. Thank you all for reading! <3

#ts2 #union legacy

48 notes · View notes

prettylittlefolkmore1997 · 7 years

Text

132 Thoughts I Had While Watching the PLL Finale

OMG Bridget Woo LOL nice throwback

This is like a dream sequence or someone’s imagination, right?

Definitely has to be Mona’s imagination.

Lucas WTF

Ha the girls don’t seem the least bit enthused with him “Hey Lucas”

"Remember when we used to look up murder weapons, indistinctive traits of psychopaths exhibiting signs of hyper-reality disorder” IM YELLING

JENNA! BITCH YOU IS BLIND WHY ARE YOU RIDING A HORSE?

I low-key love all of the truth tea they’re spilling, even though it’s not real

HA I KNEW IT WAS MONA’S CRAZY ASS

So Mona gets to know who A.D. is first?

OMG THEY ALL DID THE SHHHH

Aw Ezria y’all are cute.

YASSS ARIA OWN THAT UGLY CRY

OMG EMISON TWINS FUCK THEY’RE SO CUTE

Lily and Grace are such sweet names

DOMESTIC EMISON!!! HEY NOW HEY NOW THIS IS WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF

MAMA PAM YES

Melissa and Spencer getting along? Ehhhh idk about that

OW MY SPOBY HEART

Oh my god she re-bought his truck? I love Spencer so much.

Hey that’s Marlene’s son!

ADDISON YOU BITCH STFU

Alison would END YOU

Who bullies someone just because they’re deaf?

And there’s Jenna tapping along…

OH YES END HER JENNA

Lolololol she became a life skills teacher I love it

Haleb is still cute even when they’re fighting

MONA’S BACK YES

Of course she would be obsessed with game shows

Spencer’s love for interior design making an appearance, I love it!

SPALISON IS SO CUTE

Aria’s dress here is really cute!

"Wait for it”

Lol but I could so see them all going on a group honeymoon to Paris together

Oh shit where’s Mona?

"That’s exactly why we eloped." Only in Rosewood y'all

This scene was all Ian haha

They’re such a cute family OWW MY HEART

MELISSA???

Ella could take down Diane in a SECOND

Love me some Spanna!

EMISON IS ABOUT TO GET THEIR SEXY ON

LOL everyone casually sneaks off to go have sex and then there’s just Spencer and Toby

THEY’RE PLAYING SCRABBLE FUCKKKKK

Damn Ezria get it. Nice throwback to 5x05 with Aria pulling the sheets over her!

JESUS EMISON LET ME BREATHE

Emily has that sex hair right now!

"I’m trying to get pregnant” “You’re scaring my ovaries” Oh Hanna.

MELISSA STOP BEING CREEPY

OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING. SPOBY PARALLELS TO 1x19 OMG

Aria baby what’s wrong?

OF COURSE IT’S MONA UNDER THERE

So now Mona’s working for A.D.?

Aria I’m so heartbroken for you baby!!! (ALSO IS THAT THE SONG FROM THAT SUPER SAD SCENE IN SEASON ONE AHHH THE FEELS)

LOL Mona you sly bitch

Uhhh Spencer what are you doing?

ARIA APOLOGIZING FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE KIDS IM SOBBING

HOPE BREEDS ETERNAL MISERY OMG

Oh Hanna baby what is you doing?

Byron you big softie!

Poor Ella, but THE WINE MOMS ARE BACK YASSSS

OH MY GOD THEY’RE DISCUSSING HOW THEY GOT OUT OF THE BASEMENT LOLOLOL

Toby and Emily are such an underrated friendship

WOAH WAIT that girl is Maya’s niece? HOW SWEET

Spoby I miss you so much

LIMERANCE

Ah looks like the Wine Moms had a fun night

Ezria stop fighting right this second YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED

THIS EMISON PROPOSAL GOT ME CRYING AGAIN

“You wanna make a baby?” OMG STOP THEY'RE SO CUTE

SHIRTLESS TOBY MAKING A COMEBACK

FUCK ME UP this is so hot!!!!

UH SPENCER, weren’t you just with Toby doing the sex?

Oooh that’s the song that played when Spencer was sitting outside of Toby’s apartment crying her eyes out back in season 3!

MONA OMG. I do love the parallel to 2x25 though with that slap

FUCK FUCK FUCK I KNEW IT!!!! TWINCER IS REAL BITCHES!!!!

Emison is 500% done with Mary’s shit lol

Ohhhh this is how Wren is connected to this shit show

ALEX DRAKE

Of course he ordered a vodka soda

“It’s a lot to process, would you like a sedative?” YES PLEASE

Spencer wants to fuck this bitch up so badly lololol

Oh jesus she’s going to become Spencer? What a twisted sister!

I KNEW THAT SCENE WITH HANNA AND THE ONE WITH EZRA AT THE AIRPORT WAS OFF. I didn’t catch the one where she was looking through the family album though and GOD DAMN IT THAT WAS HER KISSING TOBY IN 6x20 AND HAVING SEX WITH TOBY IN 7x18

Like Mother Like Daughter BROOOO

Damn Alex is just batshit crazy and I’m kinda loving it.

I do feel bad for her though.

Woah hold up this bitch had Wren shoot her so she’d look EXACTLY LIKE SPENCER, like down to the scars she has. Damn she’s committed, I’ll give her that.

SHIT SHE REALLY IS INSANE SHE TURNED WREN INTO A DIAMOND

Awwww Aria looks so beautiful! GIRL I’M CRYING TOO

I’m gonna just pretend like that’s all of our girls taking that selfie

HOLY SHIT WREN IS THE BABY DADDY

NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR LUNCH MARY

That’s actually so sad about what Alex’s parents did to her. I get why she’s so angry, she’s had a miserable life.

Mary really does love Spencer

OH GOOD SHE REMEMBERS THAT SPENCER CAN PICK LOCKS

Aria baby noooo don’t cry

I figured that Alex had Ezra…

Do-it-yourself dungeon I’M YELLING

Lol the look on Spencer’s face says “Bitch stop copying me”

Ezra must feel like a dumb dumb now

Oh so Alex shot Spencer, intending to kill her and take over her life but Mary saved her. Alright.

Alright that’s kinda cute how Alex and Charlotte bonded

Alex, Wren, Charlotte, and Archer were a SQUAD

Uh Charlotte, the only really terrible one is Peter Hastings!

No wonder Alex was so pissed when Charlotte was murdered, she was the only real family she had ever known.

UGH I’m just gonna pretend this is Team Sparia

Uh-Oh the horse knows it’s not really Spencer

Of course Jenna could SMELL that Spencer wasn’t really Spencer

Alright so these dummies have been trying to figure out who A is after all these years and they just immediately get it right now? That was so easy and ironic thing is that they didn’t have Spencer to help them figure it out.

Mary ships Spoby and I’m living for it

Damn Alex, psychotic much?

I always figured it was A.D. who bought Toby’s house

RUN BITCHES

Alex with that hatchet is giving me “The Shining” vibes lol

HOLY SHIT IT’S THE DOLLHOUSE 2.0

EZRA YOU GOOD THERE HOMEBOY?!

Oh my god Alex copying Spencer like that gives me the creeps

TWIN FIGHT

God dammit WHICH ONE IS SPENCER?

AWW TOBY YASSS BABY YOU REMEMBER HER FAVORITE POEM

OH MY GOD THIS WEDDING IS SO CUTE I CAN’T BREATHE

Look at the babies!

MARLENE KING OMG she did the Shhh and everything

My babies happy… I LOVE THIS SONG

Aww Hanna’s pregnant!!!

STOP THIS LAST OT5 SCENE IS TOO MUCH FOR MY HEART TO HANDLE RIGHT NOW

Ok Mona having a doll shop in France is literally the cutest thing ever

She totally should’ve ended up with Mike though TBH

BROOO Mona literally won the game I’m so proud of my child

YOOOO THIS IS SOME SHIT OUT OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE. HAVEN’T YOUNG GIRLS IN ROSEWOOD LEARNED NOT TO HAVE SLEEPOVERS ON STORMY NIGHTS?

#pll #pretty little liars #pll thoughts #I loved the episode TBH #it was so lit

104 notes · View notes