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grey-rambles · 2 years

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Of Insecurity and "I Love Yous"

Masterlist | Requests

This written for @lyssys, who said she wanted Wilbur to comfort her while she was feeling insecure, and I thought “Huh, relatable. Imma write that real quick”. I tried to use the insecurities she mentioned in the tags to inspire the fic, but it’s definitely more so my own experience with insecurity coming to the forefront in the reader’s thought process. Still, Lyss, I hope it lives up to your expectations!!

Words: ~1.5k

Warnings: Reader engages in negative self talk throughout the story, so if that will be upsetting, don’t read it. No pronouns or gendered language is used for reader, however they are depicted as wearing makeup and a skirt. Some swearing.

Notes: It’s 3:30am. I started this at like, midnight-ish. I have to leave for work at 7:30. Help me. (Also, if you can find the slightly paraphrased One Direction lyric in this, I'll write you a request :D)

Standing in front of the full length mirror in your bedroom, you frowned at the reflection looking back at you.

You were supposed to be getting ready for a date night with Wilbur, but nothing had been going right. The new skirt you had so been looking forward to wearing wasn’t sitting how you thought it would, and was only making your thighs look larger than they already were, and no matter how much you contoured, nothing was hiding the definitive round shape of your face.

Tears began to well up in your eyes. You just wanted to feel pretty, was that so hard? But no, you were stuck in this body with it’s wide hips and soft cheeks and five thousand other things you hated about it.

At least my eyeliner looks good, you thought bitterly, still fighting back tears, although not for much longer if I’m gonna keep crying like this. The longer you continued looking in the mirror, the worse the feeling of inadequacy got.

“Sweetheart? Are you almost ready to go?”

Wilbur’s voice in the doorway broke you out of your spiral. In the mirror, you could see him leaning against the door frame. He was dressed to go out, in black skinny jeans, a band tee, and a grey flannel top-- he had made some effort to style his hair as well.

He looks so good, your traitorous brain began whispering, what’s he doing with someone like me?

Wilbur had asked you a question, you remembered, and you scrambled to answer him before the silence dragged on too long. “I-I’m almost ready, just give me a minute.”

Shit. Your voice sounded so watery, there was no way Wilbur hadn’t noticed...

Sure enough, you watched in the reflection as Wilbur’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Is everything okay, love? You sound like you’ve been crying.”

You tried for a smile, shaking your head to clear it. “Yeah, I’m okay, don’t worry about it.” Your tone did not sound convincing even to your own ears. Wilbur made a dissatisfied hum behind you, before moving further in to the room.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you tight against his body, still facing the mirror. You squirmed a little to try and get him to let go, but he held fast.

“Wil, let go. I need to finish getting ready.”

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.” As though to emphasize his point, Wilbur wrapped his arms even tighter around you.

You gave in rather quickly to his demands, but opted to try and downplay what the real heart of the issue was by only sharing a half truth. God knows you didn’t need to burden him with your stupid insecurities. “It’s really not a big thing. This skirt just doesn’t fit how I thought it would. I ordered it online, and the model in the photos must have had way skinnier legs than me, because it just doesn’t look very good.”

Wilbur pressed a kiss to the side of your head. “I think it looks lovely. The cut really suits you, and I love the colour.”

You smile, but it feels fake. “Thanks hon, but I think I’m just gonna change into something else, then we can go.”

You move to walk away from him towards the closet, but he squeezes you close again. “You look good, Y/N, seriously. Why do you want to change?”

You look away from your reflection towards the floor. “I just think that the skirt isn’t doing me any favours. My legs are already huge, and it just makes them seem even more so. I’d be a lot more comfortable in something a little less fitted on my thighs.”

Wilbur is silent for a second, still holding you tight, before he speaks again, sounding affronted. “I like your legs.”

“Okay, Wil, that’s fine. But I don’t,” you reply, patience wearing thin, “so please let me go get changed now.”

Wilbur doesn’t reply, opting instead to turn you around to face him. He has a stubborn set to his jaw, and his eyes are blazing. You get the feeling you won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. “Why don’t you like your legs?”

You heave a dramatic sigh. “I don’t like a lot of things about myself, Wilbur, it’s just a fact of life. I’m usually pretty good at not thinking about it, but tonight I’m just having a very hard time seeing anything positive in my reflection.”

He looks heartbroken, and you feel a slight stab of guilt for having put the expression on his face with your silly little insecurities. Continuing on, you say, “C’mon Wil, this doesn’t have to be a big thing. Just let me go and I’ll get changed and we can still try and have a good night.” God knows that getting out and away from your negative thoughts would help, at least for a while.

Wilbur shakes his head, drawing you into a hug. You go willingly, a little confused by the sudden change in pace, but happy enough with this arrangement. Burying his face in your hair, Wilbur says, a little choked up, “God, Y/N, I’ve been a pretty shit boyfriend, huh?”

You try and pull away from his hold, alarmed by his words, but he only holds you tighter. “What are you talking about, Wil? You’re a great boyfriend....”

“Clearly I’m not!” he cries out, “If you don’t believe that you’re the most perfect creature I’ve ever laid eyes on!”

Oh Wil,” you feel yourself tearing up again, “I’ve had these sort of thoughts long before I met you. It isn’t your fault.”

He cups your face in his hand, raising your head up gently to meet his eyes. “I love you, Y/N. It hurts my heart to see you think so lowly of yourself.”

You sniffle, tears finally overflowing from your eyes. “I just don’t understand what you see in me,” you manage to get out between your sobs.

“I’ll show you,” he whispers, “I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life telling you every way in which I love you.”

Wilbur pulls you into his shoulder again, holding you safe and warm until your sobs finally subside. “I’m thinking we stay in tonight instead, yeah?” he asks, and you nod your head, suddenly feeling very tired.

He begins to pull you towards the bed, settling you down among the blankets. He’s quick to change into some comfy clothes, a soft looking sleep shirt and sweatpants. He then grabs one of his t-shirts and a set of your PJ bottoms, and helps you change into them, before joining you in the bed, drawing you in until you’re nestled tightly against his side.

“I want you to try something,” Wilbur says to you, meeting you eyes. “Next time your thoughts start getting bad like that again, I want you to think to yourself, ‘Wilbur loves me just the way I am’, okay? Could you do that for me?”

“I could try,” you say hesitantly, “but I don’t think that’s going to magically make everything better.”

“I never said it would,” he replies, “but you have to start somewhere. It’s going to be a long road to get you to love yourself even half as much as I love you, but I’ll be there with you until you do. Try it out now. Look at me, and say, ‘Wilbur loves me just the way I am’.”

You flick your eyes away from his and mutter quietly, “Wilbur loves me just the way I am.”

He once again tilts your chin up. “Good. Try again, look at me this time.

Your cheeks are absolutely bright red, you just know it from how hot they are. “ Wilbur loves me just the way I am,” you say again, a little louder this time.

He smiles at you. “Once more,” he says.

“ Wilbur loves me just the way I am.”

After this, Wilbur places a soft kiss to your lips. “Good job, my love. I’m sure that was difficult for you to do, I’m very proud of you.” He kisses you once more before settling more into the bed. “Let’s just stay here for the rest of the night.”

The two of you spend some time taking gently about everything and nothing, before you slip into a bit of a doze. You shoot up suddenly. “I have to take my makeup off,” you explain to a grumpy Wilbur as you remove his arm from around you.

“Hurry back,” he says sleepily. You nod, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, before moving quickly into the bathroom.

As you wash your contour off, you eyes trace the rounded lines of your face. God, why couldn’t my cheekbones be more defined? Or I could at least have some sort of jawline to speak of....

As your thoughts began to spiral back into that negative mindset, a quiet voice suddenly piped up in the back of your head. So quiet you could barely hear it over the negativity in the forground, this small voice whispered: Wilbur loves me just the way I am.

You smile, and return to bed.

Man, when I started this blog I really thought I was going to be primarily a Techno writer.... The Wilbur brainrot has really gotten ahold of me.... Hope you liked it!!

#wilbur soot imagine #wilbur x reader #wilbur soot x reader #mcyt imagine #mcyt x you #grey's rambles #help i'm so tired #hope this makes sense lol

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angelicscribe · 4 months

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who else up way too early and can't go back to sleep

#help i'm so tired #angel.txt

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fox-beyond-the-veil · 1 year

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my insomnia didn't let me sleep until like 5:30-6:00am and i had to get up at 8. i'm running on less than two hours of sleep and i think i can clip through walls

#insomnia #help i'm so tired #i feel like i'm made if static

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thevioletcaptain · 1 year

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i genuinely don't care how good a piece of ai generated art or writing looks on the surface. i don't care if it emulates brush strokes and metaphor in a way indistinguishable from those created by a person.

it is not the product of thoughtful creation. it offers no insights into the creator's life or viewpoint. it has no connection to a moment in time or a place or an attitude. it has no perspective. it has no value.

it's empty, it's hollow, and it exists only to generate clicks (and by extension, ad revenue.)

it's just another revolting symptom of the disease that is late stage capitalism, and it fucking sucks.

#''but i just want to use it to--'' don't care! it's shit! stop fucking feeding it!#if you need help generating ideas or jumping off points then join an artist or writer group online #talk to people #make connections #that's what art and writing is supposed to be about in the first place #i'm mad as hell etc.#so goddamn sick and tired of seeing ai shit get passed around on here #it's bad enough in general but every time i see more of it showing up #tagged as fan art or as fic #the angrier i get #heartfelt imperfection in art and writing will always ALWAYS be worth more than the most technically ''perfect'' ai generated image or text #fandom problems #ai generation algorithms die in a fire challenge 2k23 #just a heads up that i'm muting this post and will no longer see responses to it #because i'm tired of seeing dogshit takes from jackasses who want to ''debate'' me #there's no debate you're in the wrong on literally every level and you can die mad about it

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barghest-land · 2 months

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it's been more than 2 years. let's not pretend that my routine now isn't completely fucked i normally don't draw or share something that personal, but now it's a way to cope. somehow. plus, i think, it should be normal to talk about

#i say this a lot but i'm tired #it's just getting worse and nothing helps at this point tbh so i'm trying everything to keep myself alive #i wish it was a figure of speech #barghestland #art #artists on tumblr #things here are just about the end of this winter. but it's more than that. there's just no way i could draw it all.

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arthursfuckinghat · 3 months

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Nothing can describe the way my heart shattered when Arthur asked if Dutch was going to go look for him after he was kidnapped by Colm in chapter 3- all he got was a "Oh of course, son" in the most pitiful, unassured tone of voice I'd ever heard from Dutch.

The three of them had set up a meeting point at "the fork in the road" if the O'Driscoll parlay went south, Arthur seemingly disappeared and didn't return for another day or so until he was physically crawling trying to get back to camp, and still nobody questioned where he was?

Yes, it's typical for Arthur to wander and find his own way home after missions, but the key word is AFTER. Arthur disappeared DURING the meeting and didn't regroup at the designated rendezvous point AFTERWARDS.

Especially dealing with the likes of the O'Driscolls, wouldn't that ring some kind of alarm? If not from Dutch or Micah, then wouldn't anybody else at the camp question it?

I imagine an (exaggerated) conversation like this probably happened if anyone at camp asked:

"Hey Dutch how was the meeting with the O'Driscolls?"

"It went fine we talked a bit then they left suddenly so weird"

"Where's Arthur then?"

"Oh I don't know we didn't see him after we split up for the meeting haha probably wandered off again typical Arthur"

God, if you're going to treat Arthur like the gang's workhorse, then act like you care about him at least.

Arthur is strong, but he isn't invincible.

#the times that the gang have called on arthur for missions because he's their 'insurance' makes me so sad for him #sure he doesn't really mind helping out but it's just reinforcing the idea that arthur = unkillable #and the gang kind of take advantage of it without really realising #sigh I could talk more but I'm tired #this game is so good #arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #no spoilers please #liveblogging #yes dutch apologised but his actions spoke louder than his words #blessed are the peacemakers #mick rants

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puppetmaster13u · 5 months

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Prompt 115

“Seriously old man?” the rumbling voice nearly caused Tim to jump, his eyes darting away from where Ras was sitting, the Al Ghul almost seeming to perk. It was kind of hard to miss the man… teen… being? It was kind of hard to miss the owner of the voice what with how their hair looked like it was on fire.

They motioned around at well, everything, crimson eyes looking exasperated. “Really?” They were definitely motioning towards him, interrupting Ras when he opened his mouth to talk. “No, I don’t want to hear it, I swear- Did he kidnap you?” That was definitely aimed at him.

“N-no?” Tim was feeling slightly unbalanced and may be on hour sixty without sleep at this point, if the hour long nap was counted. “I need help finding my not-dad who's lost in time.”

The being let out a strangled noise that Tim could nearly swear was almost another one, but couldn’t vocalize his slurred thoughts as the dude muttered something, motioning around as though he was tempted to strangle something or someone.

Ras cleared his throat, looking almost awkward which was how Tim knew he had to be dreaming or drugged. Probably drugged. “Jordan, how good to see you, it’s been so long-”

“Can it Pops,” the being-named-Jordan scoffed, finger pointing towards the Demon’s Head. “Moms still pissed and isn’t coming back any time soon with you still pulling this shit.”

Tim felt his brain stall, process for a moment, then process some more over what he just heard before his mouth ran before it could catch up. “Ras is married???”

#dcxdp #dpxdc #league of assassins #Are Danny and Ras married? Who knows #They did raise their kids together #Well technically Dan & Ellie got de-aged but still #They met during time shenanigans for Danny #Trained together for a bit and became a tiny bit of rivals #Ras missing his platonic or romantic partner: If I adopt-steal these teens/children I can pspspspsps them back #Jordan looking down at Talia: Hello demon child #Talia: Brother Damian isn't talking to me anymore and I don't know what to do T-T #Ellie: Would he like more siblings?? That made us feel better???#Talia: Of course I can make clones to send to him he shall surely call me back then!#Dusan: Sister I don't think that is what they were saying-#Talia: I have things to do out of my way Ghost!#Tim is so tired and has no clue what's going on #Jordan: Whelp I'm going to help you out because I'm always one to take Mom's side against pops #Tim: What #Jordan: Let's go bother the primordial being of Time he happens to find us amusing anyway #Tim: W h a t #deadly decisions

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