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hard-boiled-criminal · 3 months

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A Witch Adrift

Chapter 3 - Food Before Fools

< Ch 2 | Ch 4 >

>Ch 1<

Masterlist

Ao3 Mirror

“Gwah! It’s pouring out there!”

You turned to see the same cat from earlier, sopping wet but its ear flames still burning strong. You barely had a chance to react before the cat shook itself dry, splashing a good amount of water on your face, as well as your clothes. Using one of your singed bell sleeves, you slowly wiped the water off your face, already exhausted from the long hour you had suffered through. A cackle made you pull your sleeve away, letting you see the cat laughing at you as if you were the best comedian it’d seen in ages.

“Bwahaha! That look on your face is priceless! Like a bat that got blasted by a water gun.”

‘...A what?’

“As if I wouldn't just sneak back onto campus the second I escaped pryin' eyes. You all got no idea what I'm capable of!”

‘No, I think I have a pretty good idea.’

“I ain't givin' up on goin' here just 'cause I got kicked out one measly ol' time. And if you think otherwise, you don't know Grim!”

“So, your name’s Grim, huh?” I guess I should know that with how many times he’s called himself such. “Why are you trying so hard to get into this cul–school?” Because I seriously don’t see the appeal. Though perhaps I’m just biased considering I was kidnapped, almost killed, and then placed in a sorry excuse for a dorm.’

“I was born to do this! I'm a magical prodigy who's got the makin's to become one of the greatest mages who ever lived! So I've been waitin' and waitin' for that black carriage to come for me. And yet…” He sniffled a little, as if trying to hold in tears.

‘Well now I feel a little bad for him. He looks like a kid that dropped their ice cream.’

“Hrmph! That Dark Mirror's got no eye for talent!” He schooled his expression fairly quickly. “That's why I took the initiative and came here myself. You humans don't understand what a mistake you're makin'! Not lettin' me in is a great loss to the world!”

“Well, I have to agree with you on the Dark Mirror part. After All, it decided to kidnap me, and I can’t do any of that flash-bang-boom magic you’ve been throwin’ around.” ‘But I can do other magick… I wonder if they have my kind of magick here… I’ll have to do some research later…’

“Wha? You can’t use magic? Pfft! You’re useless–MRRAO!” Grim shrieked some water dripped on him, a quiet hiss sounding as his ear flames instantly evaporated it. “Mrrao! C'mon, scoot over! I'm getting dripped on here!” He moved out of the way, but it was no use as another drop hit him from a different leak. “Bwah! Another hole in the roof! These flamin' ears are like my trademark, y'know? I can't let 'em get doused!”

‘Instant karma, bitch. That’s what you get for being rude.’ You sighed, “I guess I’ll go looking for some buckets.”

“I dunno why you don't just magic those holes away. You could have it fixed in half a jiff.

Ahhh, right. You can't use magic at all.”

‘You know what? I take back what I said about feeling bad for him.’

“Yeah, yeah, I can’t make things go boom, I get it. If you’ve got such a problem with the leak, why don’t you fix it yourself, you knock-off Pokémon?” You said over your shoulder as you walked to the door to collect one of the bowls from outside.

“Heh? You want me to help you? Ha! You got the wrong idea. I'm just a stranger takin' shelter from the rain. You ain't the boss of me. And what’s a Pokémon? If it’s something that helps humans, then I definitely ain’t one of them. I don't work for free.”

“How about you help me and I won't kick you out, hmm? How does that sound for compensation?” This cat was quickly getting on your nerves.

Grim didn’t give you a chance to act on your threat, dashing underneath the couch by the stairs. “Y-you can’t threaten me, human!”

You sighed, not about to deal with pulling a cat out from hiding, especially not a magic cat. “Alright, well, don’t blame me if there’s deadly mold under there,” you said, hearing a little yelp under the couch, followed by the scrambling of paws. You smirked to yourself, “I’m off to go find some pots or buckets.”

You peered into a nearby hallway, feeling anxiety returning to you as you stared down the long, dark corridor. ‘This feels like a horror game, and I hate it.’ You tentatively took one step forward and then another, the rotting floorboards creaking with even the slightest amount of weight pressing down on them. You made it about five slow steps in before you felt the temperature of the room suddenly drop.

‘I just had an interesting thought: Actually, fuck this.’ You spun on your heel with false bravado, your entire body now tense. As you stiffly walked back towards the lounge, you froze in place as you felt the familiar tingle of eyes watching you. ‘Okay. Don’t look back. Just… Just keep walking. If you look back, you’ll die, according to horror movies. Put one foot in front of the other.’

It turns out it didn’t matter if you looked back or not because three ghosts suddenly appeared in front of you. They… didn’t look how you’d expect ghosts to look like. These ones looked more… cartoonish. They weren’t half as scary-looking as some of the monsters you’d seen in Scooby-Doo.

‘Ghosts huh. Surprised I can see them. Or maybe that’s normal here.’

“Yee hee hee... Bwa ha ha ha ha ha,” One of the ghosts attempted to laugh menacingly.

“We haven't had visitors in ages!”

“Oh, I'm just itchin' for new friends! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

“Hey, Grim?! Is it normal to see ghosts?!” You shouted, temporarily ignoring the ghosts.

‘I need to know if this is normal or if I’m just hallucinating from stress.’

You hear the small pitter-patter of tiny footsteps against the damp floor. “Hah? Ghosts? What are ya talking’ about, dumb hum–AAAAAH! GHOSTS! GHOOOOOOSTS!” Grim screamed in fright after he turned the corner.

‘Guess I’m not crazy then… Should I be scared?’

“All the people who used ta live here got scared of us and ran away.”

“We just want a new ghost to play with! What do you say, buddy?”

“Eeeeep!” Grim shrieked, terrified of the cartoonish ghosts.

“Uh-huh… Yeah, no, I’ll have to pass on that.” ‘Plus, last I checked, ghosts can’t kill you. Unless they can use magic. I hope they can’t use magic when they’re dead.’

“I'm a master sorcerer! I ain't afraid of any dumb ghosts! Myahaaa!” With his eyes closed, Grim shot a stream of flames up in the air, narrowly missing your head while completely missing all of the ghosts.

“Wah–Grim! Careful!”

“Nuh-uh. Not even close.”

“Over here! Over here! Ah ha ha ha!”

“Hey, it’s not my fault they keep disappearing and reappearing!” Grim shouted at you as the ghosts continued to taunt him as his attacks kept missing.

“Well maybe if you stopped pretending to be blind and kept your eyes open, you wouldn’t miss!” You shouted back. “Now stop trying to burn the dorm down! Fire isn’t super-effective on ghosts in the first place! Don’t you have any other magic?”

“Shaddup! I don't need any lip from you, human!”

“Ugh, I don’t have time for this. If you burn the building down you’ll never be allowed to even go near this school, you know? And maybe if you get rid of the ghosts the headmage will let you enroll for your grand achievements, hmm?”

“Myah...?! Hmph, then what am I supposed to do, huh, human? If I don’t blast them, they won’t leave us alone! Not like you can do anything; You’re magicless!”

“Here, I’ll aim you so,” You picked him up and he mewled in displeasure. “Fire when I say so!”

“Mrrgh, fine! But only because it’ll show off my greatness! Don’t go thinkin’ it's because of you, human!”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s another achievement under your belt, oh great Grim. Now stop talking and fire!”

You spent the next few minutes pointing Grim at ghosts and watching as he burnt them. It was odd to think about holding a living flamethrower in your hands, especially one that would complain between each use. Turns out magic cats can also get dizzy.

“Nice! That actually worked! Hey, human! What should I do next?” Grim turned his head to look at you. “Give 'em the works? Heh! Can do!” He didn’t even give you a chance to respond before spewing out more fire. “Myaaah... Eat THIS!”

“Hwaaahhh! We gotta get out of here! Before we get disappeared for good!” The ghosts fled, vanishing into thin air.

“H-huh? Did we... win?”

“Yep, so you can open your eyes now,” you carefully put Grim down on the floor, watching as he struggled for a second to get his balance.

“Aw, geez, I was scared outta my–I mean, they didn't faze me one bit! Just a walk in the park for a mage of my caliber! Whaddaya got to say now, ghosties? That's right!”

‘Well, if nothing else, he definitely has the attitude of a cat.’

Now even more exhausted in every sense of the word and with no buckets in spite of your, admittedly minimal, efforts in searching, you and Grim head back to the lounge. You waste no time collapsing on the couch Grim had hid under earlier, a small cloud of dust erupting from the disturbance.

‘I’d love to sleep in a bed, but I can’t help but think about bed bugs and mold infesting the rooms… I really don’t wanna be here anymore.’

The pleasant quietness of the room, save for the comforting pattering of rain, was a nice contrast to the scream-fest Grim had with the ghosts. The silence was regrettably interrupted by Crowley magicing open the door again, the loud squealing of the hinges grating on your ears.

“Good evening. In another gesture of my immense kindness, I have brought you dinner.” In one hand he held a bag and the other he used to close the door and place the coffee table strewn across the room in front of you, right-side-up, all with magic, of course. He placed the bag down on said table and looked up at you, only to see Grim sitting on the couch next to you, “Wait. That's the creature we ejected for causing trouble at orientation! What is it doing here?!”

Grim stood up, placing his paws on his hips. “Takin' care of yer ghost problem, that's what. You're welcome, by the way! Ya better gimme some tuna as a reward!”

Crowley was about to respond, but you quickly butted in, “Mr. Crowley, it’s easier to just go along with him, so please, don’t argue.”

Maybe it was because of how tired and awful you looked, but Crowley heeded your request. “Well, I do seem to recall that this dorm had a mischievous ghost problem. Ah, yes... That's why it was abandoned, in fact. The ghosts scared away all the students. And you're saying that you two joined forces to drive them away?”

‘Ah, I see. You oh so conveniently forgot that this manor was haunted by ghosts. How does somebody just forget that a place is actually haunted?’

Crowley continued to talk as you started to unpack the takeout containers from the bag. Out of the three containers, the round one, typically meant for soups, caught your attention. It smelled absolutely divine.

"’Joined forces’ ain't exactly how I'd describe it. More like I drove 'em away, and the human watched,” Grim bragged.

“Well, someone had to watch and aim for you, seeing as you kept your eyes closed the whole time,” you said with a little sass.

“Would you two be so kind as to demonstrate your ghost-eradication methods for me?”

You gave Crowley an unamused stare, about to open the food containers. ‘Is this some new kind of torture? Bringing me freshly cooked food and then distracting me until it becomes lukewarm and unpleasant?’

“One, no, 'cause I already wiped 'em all out. And two, no, 'cause where's my tuna?!” Well would you look at that. It seems you and Grim agree on something.

“I will play the part of the ghosts. As for the tuna, you'll receive it when you defeat me. Oh, what generosity, Crowley…”

“W-wait, wait a minute–Mr. Crowley, I really don’t think this is a good idea!” You tried to protest. The ghosts were one thing since they couldn’t crash into anything, but having a fight with a physical being in a run-down place like this did not seem like a good idea. This dorm was just waiting for an excuse to collapse.

“Nonsense, it’ll be fine! Now, to chug this transmutation potion!” Disregarding your concerns, Crowley pulled a potion out of nowhere and took no time to uncork and down it.

“Ah, you gotta be kiddin' me,” Grim whined. “I gotta work together with the human again?”

“Grim, please, just put up with it. The sooner we do this, the sooner we get to eat.”

“Hrmph. All right, but this is the last time. And I better be up to my jowls in tuna afterwards!”

You stood up and made a point to walk away from the table with all your food on it, watching as the headmage slowly turned transparent, transforming into a ghost version of himself.

‘So you can just turn into a ghost by drinking something in this world? Hmm, interesting. I mean, there’s no way to do that back on Earth unless you drank…poison…’ You came to a ghastly realization. ‘Did he… did Crowley just kill himself? To become a ghost? What? No, that can’t be; he’s too calm. Also, who’d kill themselves for something as stupid as this? …Well, I suppose I won’t have to worry about him running into anything at least.’

Crowley didn’t wait around before he began his assault, causing you to quickly snatch up Grim to use as a sentient flamethrower once again. Seeing as Crowley was probably much more well-versed in magic, and perhaps combat as well, than the ghosts, the fight was much harder, despite there only being one of him. When seemingly satisfied with what he saw, or maybe the potion’s duration was up, Crowley backed off and transformed back into a corporeal being.

Grim was panting from exertion, tired from the back-to-back battles. “Hah…Well? How was that?”

“Incredible... I've never seen anyone bend a monster to their will quite the way you have,” Crowley said, actually impressed by you but in a positive way.

‘This man’s definitely never played Pokémon. Which’d make sense since it’s another world, but still. What sad lives these people must live. Guess I’ll just have to become a Pokémon trainer and show these magic people what they’re missing out on.’ For the first time since you arrived in this strange world, you felt lighter, hopeful, even. Maybe you could find a whole team of magical monsters; who knows what creatures exist here?

You sat back down on the couch, the food thankfully undisturbed from the fight. Crowley picked up a turned-over rocking chair and placed it on the opposite side of the table from you, taking a seat. Starved, you did not hesitate to grab the spoon from the set of silverware and chopsticks Crowley had brought with him and opened the soup container. A puff of delightful-smelling steam escaped as you opened it; your mouth started to water. It was an opaque, yellow-orange soup with thick noodles. You dipped the spoon into the broth and brought it to your lips. Without bothering to blow on it, you quickly slurped it up, a familiar taste hitting your tongue. Miso.

“I must confess, my educator's intuition did sense something about you after the brouhaha at orientation, (y/n).

‘...Brouhaha? What? What even is that?’

I could tell you had a certain animal trainer-y, beast master-ish quality to you. Oh, yes.

That said, I…” Crowley trailed off, mumbling to himself, coming up with some absurd idea, no doubt.

“A trainer, huh?” You mumbled before putting down your spoon on one of the napkins you pulled out of the bag. “Mr. Crowley, what if… what if I became Grim’s trainer?”

“Oh?” Crowley sounded intrigued.

“Myngyaah?! What are ya talking about, dumb human! I ain’t anybody’s to train, especially not by you!” Grim, on the other hand, was extremely offended.

“Hold on, lemme finish speaking first,” you said to Grim, but it did not placate him in the slightest. “Mr. Crowley, if I became Grim’s trainer, would you let him enroll in the school?”

“WHAT? A monster?! Stay here!?” Crowley’s interest quickly became disbelief.

“Whoa, did you just...?” Grim also looked at you in disbelief, but he looked more so touched by your actions.

“I’m magicless and new to this world. Seeing as there are ghosts, who knows what else there may be. I need someone to help protect myself, assuming you won’t be able to always be around to help me.” ‘Plus, it’s hard to catch pokemon if you don’t have one of your own.’ You grabbed the chopsticks, dipping them into the soup to grab one of the noodles. The udon noodles were just as delicious as the soup. This was the perfect comfort food you needed after today.

“Hmmm... I suppose I cannot deny your plea. Very well,” Crowley agreed, a little reluctant, but unable to refute your reasoning.

“Myah?! Really?”

“Let me be clear!” Crowley didn’t let Grim celebrate too soon. “Under no circumstances would I admit anyone to Night Raven College who has not been selected by the Dark Mirror– especially not a monster!”

‘Is the Dark Mirror really so important that its selection is a criteria considering that it was apparently responsible for summoning me? It also didn’t say I couldn’t be a student. It just said I wasn’t suited for any of the dorms.’

“Nor do I intend to allow you, (y/n), to freeload until you're able to return home.”

‘...Excuse me?’ You stopped eating and sat up straight, giving Crowley a death glare.

“Hrmph. Never shoulda got my hopes up…” Grim grumbled.

“N-Now, allow me to explain,” feeling your intense glare, Crowley backtracked, quickly starting to elaborate. “It was the Dark Mirror that transported you here.Therefore this school does bear some responsibility for your well-being. So I will allow you to remain in this dorm, free of charge. However, you will need to pay for your own food, clothing, and incidentals. As to how you will do so, penniless as you are... Ah. Ah ha. Yes, a fine plan. How about I have you do some odd jobs around campus?”

Crowley was about to keep talking but you cut him off, “I’m sorry, what?”

“W-Well, you see, I can’t just allow a magicless person who is not a student to just stay here, it would–”

“Oh, no, we are not doing this.” Anxiety be damned, you were too tired and fed up with today to stop your words from coming out. “It was your mirror that brought me to your school, of which you are the oh-so-gracious headmage of. As far as I’m concerned, you kidnapped me! So, you are going to take responsibility for your subordinate’s actions.”

“Well, the Dark Mirror is not so much my sub–”

“Shut it and don’t interrupt me.” Crowley closed his mouth real fast. “Now listen here, you ostentatious birdman,” You leaned forward, glaring straight into the yellow pinpricks that you assumed were his eyes. “You ripped me from my home, a world of the mundane with none of this dangerous magic you show off all the time like it’s nothing. What’s more, you’re saying you can’t send me back. You expect me to live in this dilapidated building, which definitely has more than a few health and safety violations, and on top of that, work in order to simply survive? I have nowhere to go. I am stuck here and I know nothing of this world. For all I know, if I even try to leave, there could be some other monster lurking around off campus that’s ready to kill me and have me as its next meal. I don’t think you realize just how terrified I actually am! This situation I’m in, it’s as if I’m stuck in a prison and you’re trying to use me as free labor in exchange for the right to live! If this is a school of magic, that means everyone I may pass by on this campus could kill me with a flick of the wrist, whether on purpose or on accident, and I can do nothing about it!” You sniffled, feeling your nose start to run as tears start to fall from your eyes. Everything has been so overwhelming, and this was the last straw that broke you.

“I’m all alone, Crowley. I have nobody! I have nothing! These clothes aren’t even mine! Don’t you see?! You’re making it so that I have no choice but to listen to you! Because if I don’t, you can rip everything away from me!” You can feel a bubble rising in your chest. You struggle to get your words out as you start to hiccup between them, trying to keep the sobs in. You pause before trying to speak more calmly. “Listen, Crowley… I’d be happy to work for you, truly, but,” you take in a stuttering breath, “I don’t know if I can trust you. Who’s to say you won’t try and extort me? I know nothing about you or this world. I don’t know what’s considered fair or common sense, here. I am completely and utterly alone.” You’ve fully broken down into sobs at this point.

You bury your face into your hands and just cry. Crowley flounders a bit, unsure of how to comfort a person in this situation. It’s not everyday that he has to figure out how to comfort what is essentially an alien. He settles for just placing a hand on your shoulder in comfort, patting you a few times as if to say ‘there there.’ Grim seemed just as, if not more, confused about the situation than Crowley, and opted to just not do anything. It takes a couple minutes to compose yourself, sniffling as you right yourself back up. Crowley slowly removes his hand, his face twisted in a worried frown.

“Sorry, I just–” you sigh, “today has been a lot.” Another sniffle. “At the very least, I need this all to be put in writing in a contract with a separate party as a witness to make sure the conditions are fair.”

Crowley’s face softens at you. “Of course.”

“And, if I could ask, could you please at least supply me with the necessities for the first week? As you said, I have no money, so I have no way to care for myself.”

“Yes…I’m sorry, it seems I failed to comprehend the situation from your point of view.” Crowley’s shoulders slumped a bit out of guilt.

You sniffled again, rubbing the vestiges of tears from your eyes. “Thank you, Mr. Crowley.”

“I suppose I shouldn’t expect my common sense to apply to you either, what with you being an alien.”

“Oh, yeah… That reminds me of some other concerns I had.” You saw Crowley tense a bit. “But that can wait until tomorrow.” He relaxed again. “For now, can I just ask you to maybe bring me some soap and a change of clothes.

“Oh, um, ahem, yes of course. I’ll bring you some right now,” Crowley moved to stand up, but you stopped him.

“Just– just bring them tomorrow morning. I’m sure we’re both tired after today. We can talk about my other concerns then, yeah?” You gave him a weak smile.

He awkwardly smiled back, “Yes, well then,” he cleared his throat, “I shall see you in the morning.”

Standing up fully, Crowley turned and walked towards the door. He glanced at you over his shoulder once more. You gave him a small wave goodbye. He nodded and opened the door to the main hall, gently closing it behind him. For the first time since you met him, he didn’t use magic to open the door.

A while after Crowley left, you managed to finish off the soup. Your appetite had disappeared after the argument, so you had to force yourself to eat. You had offered Grim some of the food, which he readily accepted, polishing off all the food in one of the containers in a heartbeat, finishing long before you did. You looked at the last full container still on the table, definitely cold by now. You slowly stood up, grabbing the leftovers and started to wander. If you could find a kitchen, there might be a fridge. Luckily, the kitchen was through the door on the wall to the right of the fireplace, so you didn’t have to look around for long. You were worried about there being no electricity to power the fridge, or worse, to find old, rotting food in it. You were surprised, however, to find the fridge running and empty, the chill coming from it hitting your skin when you opened them. The quiet hum of electricity was missing, though, and was strangely off-putting. Perhaps the fridge was magic-powered? Just when you thought you found something familiar, it turned out to be different. You quietly put the food away and walked back into the lounge.

The rain was still going strong, the occasional rumble of thunder resounding in the distance. With a yawn, you considered going upstairs to look for a bedroom that wasn’t falling apart or wet. With how sore your body was, you winced with every step up the stairs. You could hear the light pattering of Grim’s footsteps following you, a yawn leaving his mouth. It took a few doors before you found a room that was in a passable condition. It was in a state of disarray, but the ceiling wasn’t dripping and the windows were intact. It even had a fireplace. The only part that made you uneasy was the obnoxiously large mirror above said fireplace.

‘Hmm… I don’t know if that mask can travel between mirrors to spy on people or not. Plus, mirrors are gateways and this is a magic world, so who knows what sorts of things could come through a mirror of that size… I better take it down sometime.’

Ignoring the mirror for now, you approached the bed and pulled off the covers, lifting then snapping it a couple times to shake all the dust off. Spreading it back over the bed, you did the same with the singular pillow before also placing it back. Sitting down on the bed, you gently took off your shoes and placed them to the side as Grim jumped up and made himself comfortable on the pillow. The only pillow. You gave him a deadpan look.

“What?” He asked, genuinely confused.

You sighed, “Grim, if you really want a pillow, could you please go and grab one from one of the other rooms?” You carefully nudged Grim, trying to gently coax him off your pillow. “I’m too tired to put up with you right now.”

With a grumble, Grim jumped off the pillow and landed on the center of the bed. The wooden bedframe whined before breaking, making Grim yelp as it fell through to the floor. You stared at it for a few seconds but shrugged it off. A bed was a bed. You picked Grim up and placed him on the ground.

“H-Hey! What gives?!” Grim protested as you climbed under the covers and laid your head down on your rightly earned pillow. Seeing as you kept ignoring him, he grumbled before curling up against your side instead, seemingly also too tired to get back up. It didn’t take long for sleep to take you, the sound of rain and thunder lulling you into your dreams with a sense of security. Whether it be false or not, only time would tell.

A/N: If any of this chapter feels vaguely familiar, it’s because I recycled some of the old text into this chapter. Not a lot, but I decided to keep the parts I liked. I’m hoping to give Crowley a deeper character than what we see in the first few parts of the game. He feels super unreliable and if he’s supposed to be handling important documents, then he should be at least a little more reliable. You know, just have him act more like an adult.

Here’s the ramshackle dorm layout I’ll be using and referencing in this fic. Reader’s/MC’s room is 203.

Edited

#malleus x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #idia x reader #idia shroud x reader #A Witch Adrift

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