Maybe the ups that J was referring to (besides that cut shot of her checking on him at the funeral!!!) were the collection of scenes of Roman coming to terms with his deep, deep, mariana trench deep, DEEP feelings for her. Like... if anyone out there was questioning if his whole thing with her was real or if it was still even a thing at all for him, there’s NO fucking denying it now. He’s down BAD for her. That yearning and aching is UNDENIABLE. 

He’s able to sadly watch that happy video of his father, but then when it cuts to her he’s so overwhelmed that he has to sit down, but he also just cannot take his eyes off of it - off of her. 

And then when he sees her again in person, even separated through glass, it’s too goddamn much for him to handle. Again he can’t look away, it’s like a tractor beam connection - until she glances over at him a whole two times for the briefest of seconds - then he freezes up and spins himself away, an absolutely different person from who he was mere seconds before. Just the tiniest vision of her from afar sends him into a total meltdown. 

And then to top it all off, his final scene has him treating himself to HER signature drink - the drink that they made sure to remind us this season was HER signature drink and also to show us that HE KNEW it was her drink. The very last frames of him are him thinking, undoubtably about like six others things as well but also, clearly about her - and then he SMILES. 

These aren’t the ups I was hoping for but damn if they aren’t absolute moonshots.