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#he recalls the type of feather on the shaft. that's how it should have gone.
birdmenmanga · 2 months
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renege when magi started off with spectacular pacing and worldbuilding and digestible and memorable political commentary and then went too abstract and tsubasa reservoir chronicle (derogatory). is anyone else mourning that or just me
#just thinking thoughts...#i went back to read its opening chapter a while ago and the only thing that stood out to me as bad was the breasts obsession#everything else was really good...#sorry. thinking abt this because i just started reading shoukoku no altair just now and like#i think it wants to be like midseries magi but is falling short in several aspects#firstly there's not enough love in the backgrounds imo.#the sense of the world isn't good (though i think part of it is due to the scanlators not translating the map labels?!)#but it's just like... it somehow feels generic even though there's a VERY specific time and place they're drawing from#and like the pacing of that first chapter... it's just so close. they didn't need that 1 page spread of mahmut trying to find evidence#if you were going to show that you needed to at least commit to the bit and show his thoughts getting more desperate#if the whole gimmick is that they used the wrong type of feather for the arrow this is how it should have gone.#he looks at the arrow early on (i don't think he looks at it until the end) ->#he starts looking for evidence and asking people around. during this time he is getting visibly desperate ->#at the end of the day he sadly pets his falcon feeling as though he had failed and WHILE HE IS STROKING HIS PET BIRD'S WINGS#he recalls the type of feather on the shaft. that's how it should have gone.#that's how it should have gone.#also since a lot of the words are turkish i think it also introduced too many unfamiliar thoughts names and concepts all at once#like it could have been clearer that pasha was a title and not a surname#i like that all the characters had monikers to help people remember them but again.#too much worldbuilding too fast#it's kind of giving de with the information overload but the key difference in that is#in de infodump is opt-in and not required for the actual plot#i think shoukoku no altair has a built world but everyone already knows how it works and it wouldn't make narrative sense#to explain it in depth through the dialogue#anyways. it IS interesting reading it because it's like. ALMOST there.#i anticipate it getting better rather than worse
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8bityeol · 7 years
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Electric Touch [m]
Smut // Dom!baek, spanking, choking, daddy!kink // rewrite 
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“I’ll take your jacket,” Baekhyun says the moment you too step into his apartment.
“Thanks,” You unravel your scarf then slip out of your leather jacket, “I still can’t believe we’re doing this.”
“If you’re not comfortable you can back out anytime,” He takes your jacket and drapes it on top of his coat hanger, “You don’t have to do this.”
You shake your head, “I want to, I wanna try out new things plus I think I might be into it. I can’t be vanilla all the time.” You flourish your words with laughter that you hope can mask your nerves. “Like, I’ve not gone you all the way or anything like but yeah.”
He raises an eyebrow at your answer, and now he can’t help but think of having done this sort of thing before. And he certainly didn’t coin you as the type to be into domination considering how headstrong you can be at times.
“So you have experience?”
Well, you wouldn’t call it experience per say, it more like an accident that just happened to excite you, recalling it now was bordering on embarrassing.  “Not really no, I’m sure it doesn’t qualify as experience anyway.”
He gives you a cat like grin before placing a hand to the small of your back, “Don’t be shy, I mean you can be, the whole ingenue looks suits you but i’m guessing you aren’t so innocent.”
Flustered by the seemingly innocent words, you can’t help but fix your eyes on the small cactus he has on his coffee table. “It was a bit of spanking…hardly innocent but yep,” You whisper.
He closes the distance, your body’s less than a centimetre from his and face is dangerously close, close enough that you can count the individual lashes framing his eyes. You let a sharp intake of air seep into your mouth and try your hardest not to show you’re affected.
“Really, spanking? You’re naughtier than I expected.” He says. “We can do spanking today and maybe some choking but first all, let’s do some rules.”
You’re listening and nodding but you can’t simply ignore the fact that his hand is making its wave under your skirt then to your rear.
“We need a safe word, so what shall it be?” He asks.
“Uh apple, yeah apple,” You stutter. “I can’t really think of anything else.”
“No, it’s alright, That a good one. Remember you can say it anytime you want, when you feel like it’s all getting a bit too much. I’ll stop immediately. Understand?”
You nod.
“ And from this moment on, you must call me daddy and don’t expect me to go easy on you, I like it rough princess.” He continues with a smirk, “Oh and I can be very kind but, don’t test me ok?”
“Don’t worry I won’t.”
“You’re missing something princess,” He chuckles.
“Oh god, It just slipped out of my mind, I’ll do better next time…daddy.” The word was to get out than expected but the effect it had on him pushed you at least say it with burning bright.
“Don’t worry soon enough you’ll be used to it and i just have to say, it sounds so good coming from your pretty little mouth.” As he talks he unashamedly stares at your lips. “Let’s head to my room Princess.”
You hum in agreement as he ushers you down the hallway and into his room. His room is just as you expect it to be, grey with hints of black and very minimal. It compliments him and the dark aura he usually has going on.  
Swiftly, he slips his shirt over his head and throws the black cloth into a random corner. And as expected, his body’s built very beautifully. It’s not all hard muscle, just lean muscle that manages to work well with his slender build. And of course he notices you staring, so he just has to throw another smirk at your direction. You face burns bright at you try and concentrate on anywhere but him but he just seems to pull in. He sits on the edge of the bed and gives you an excruciatingly slow once over.  Not knowing what the hell you should do, you begin playing with the sleeves of your jumper.  
“Strip,” with the simple utterance of the word strip, his demeanour shifts from playful to rigid and cold.
With a surge of adrenaline rushing through your system, your hands move to pull your sweater off. Next, you slip your boots off and along with them comes your tights. Assuming he means all your clothing, you unclip your bra and roll your panties off your legs.
“Now, come sit on my lap,” He beckons you with his index finger.
With as much pseudo grace as you can manage, you place yourself on his lap. “You look so beautiful right now,”soon after he places a kiss at the side crook of your neck, and then another one on your jaw all, “So beautiful, isn’t that right princess?”
“Thank you, daddy,” The effect of your words on him is undeniable, and clearly shown by the way his muscles tense and holds you tighter.
Not wasting any time, he pries your mouth open with his tongue. And as expected his doesn’t do ‘soft’. He bites the bottom of your lip, and places enough pressure into the bite just so you can feel the slightest hint of pain. But of course it’s not unbearable, it’s quite hot if you’re going, to be honest. Your eyes are practically begging for more the moment he pulls away and stares at you with dark hooded eyes.
Placing your lips at the stretch of his neck, you run your hands down the expanse of his chest, feeling every single muscle and the deep rise of his chest. Meanwhile, Baekhyun’s hands trail from the soft skin of your stomach, then all the way up to your breast. You can’t help but whimper when begins to roll your nipples between his finger and grope the supple flesh.
“Stop. Lie on the bed, on all fours.”
Upon hearing the command, you stand up from his lap and crawl onto duvet coloured bed.You can feel his presence behind you, His hands land on your arse and firmly caress the two humps, “You know what, I’ve been watching your ass for some time, especially when you wear those skinny jeans. And then you always have to drop something in front of me, hmm why d’ya do that Princess?”
Your face is burning brightly at his words, you didn’t think he noticed, maybe he may have glanced one or two times but you didn’t think he actually looked.  The ‘pen drop’ moments give you a small rush of adrenaline, it adds the risk into your mundane life. “Uh, I don’t know daddy,” if only you can be a good liar.
“Princess, are you really gonna lie to me?” He asks, somehow managing to make you feel guilty and skittish. Like a parent would to a child.
“I’m sorry I lied, I do it so you can look at my ass-”
WHACK
“How naughty, did you want me to bend you over that bad?” He says over your yelp, “No no, I think you wanted me to spank you. Do you like it when I spank you?”
His hands come flying to arse, this time much harder. You bury your soft cry into one of his pillows, “I do,…I like it a lot daddy,” You breathe out.
He slaps down another three in quick succession, each of them no matter how painful, incites a dull throbbing in between your legs. “Of course you do, I can already tell,” He swipes a thumb between the folds of your pussy and grazes on your clit. The brief touch has you biting down on your lip.
He stares at the glistening thumb, clearly proud, “I’ve only smacked you a few times and you’re wet, tell me, princess, why are you so wet?”
“B-because you’re spanking me, daddy, a-and it feels so good- ahhhh!” He slides not one but three fingers inside you, each of them filling you up oh so heavenly as he moves them in nice long coordinated strokes. His thumb rests on your clit, making soft circles.
Your arse is burning hot as he continues to hit you, the spanks in addition to fingers are quickly sending you over the edge. “Tell me, when you touch yourself, what do you think ”
You want to speak but all he comes out are moans and whimpers. Suddenly, you feel a hard tug on your hair, which causes your body to arch into his direction, “I said tell me.”  
“I think of you spanking me,” You choke out. Pleased with your answer, he releases your hair and you fall back onto the bed like a feather. “I’m sorry daddy, I’m so sorry…” you mutter into the pillow.
“I know you’re sorry Princess, but next time you need to listen like a good girl does.” He says before sliding his fingers out, and of course, you groan at the emptiness, “Don’t whine Princess, I’m giving you something better.”
As you nod, you the distinct sound of a zipper along with the rustle of fabric. Baekhyun strokes the hardened length of cock, he was painfully hard from hearing your sweet moans and of course when you said, daddy. Not being able to contain himself any longer, he aligns the reddened tip of his cock and pushes in with a deep and guttural groan.
His cock’s nests inside you nearly to a full hilt and you can’t do anything but grab at the sheets with all your might. He moves out and slams back in with force, “God, you feel so tight,” He groans, “So fucking good.”
You moan out a small and shaky thank you as he continues to slam into you with a tight grip on your waist. You’re certain there’ll be a mark in the morning. And god do you want for there to be mark, because it all feels like a dream. A good dream, but still a dream. If it does turn out to be a dream, you know deep down you won’t be able to keep yourself from leaping on him.
Amidst the groans and dirty mutterings, he slides his hand down to your clit. As he masterfully rubs your clit, you can feel your pussy contracting tighter around his shaft. “D-daddy…I’m.”
“What is it princess, are you gonna come?” He says, thrusting harder.
“Yes,” You just about manage a word, and you don’t even know how. Your muscles are all tensing up, just rearing up for sweet release.
“Go go, cum for daddy.”
With those words, you let yourself go. It’s as if a giant wave of pleasures washes over you, sucking the air from your lungs, but leaving just enough so you can revel in the feeling. As you twitch around him, you feel his thrusts becoming erratic and with a final moan, he empties himself in you.
A/N
*sighs*
This scenario is demonic, I don’t know who I was when I wrote this but it’s here anyway. Alas, did you guys like it? And if so, what time do we need to arrange the prayer group?
This week has been so tiring, and lonely, I need friends instead of playing games.
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