Captain's log, stardate 2291.6. En route to deliver a crucial shipment of grain to a colony on Setlik II, we encountered something more pressing: a time traveler.

STAR TREK: STRANGE NEW WORLDS 2x07 "Those Old Scientists"

Breaking Point - From My Lowest, Take Me Higher (Part 4)

Characters belong to Pixelberry.

Series Song Inspiration: Broken - Jonah Kagen

Chapter Song: Trying My Best - Anson Seabra

Summary: A person can only repress so much before they reach their limit.

A/N: This stems from a few conversations about PB’s inability to let Liam acknowledge anything that he’s gone through. I wanted to let him be human. It’s set in the beginning of the two year time jump at the end of TRH3, prior to any knowledge of the Via Imperii. Thank you to @burnsoslow for looking over most of this.

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The woman studies Liam for a moment, taking in his words. “It wasn’t a fairytale …” she repeats.

“Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all bad. Some parts are great … amazing, actually. And regardless of what happened, it’s our story. But the road to getting the happily ever after that everyone loves to focus on … it was anything but easy. Especially for Riley.”

She nods in understanding. “Ok, so let’s start with the first time you met.”

Liam can’t stop the genuine smile that spreads across his lips as he thinks back. “It was a few days before the opening event of the Social Season. My friends had planned a bachelor party, so to speak; a weekend trip away to New York City before I had to choose a bride. We spent the first day recovering from the jet lag and the first couple of nights bar-hopping … typical bachelor party antics. Our last night there, I had spoken with Bastien, who was placed on assignment with me and hadn’t left my side the entire trip, and asked him if he wouldn’t mind staying behind …”

“Why did you ask him that?”

“I was in an unfamiliar city … a place where, for the first time, no one knew who I was. I just wanted one night, my last night of freedom, to be spent as a normal person, as just Liam. And, after some convincing, Bastien agreed on the condition that I kept him apprised of where we were, and I didn’t tell anyone who I really was.”

“Which was no problem considering that’s what you wanted anyway.”

“It wasn’t a problem at all … until it was,” Liam smiles.

“I assume that’s a part for later in the story?” she chuckles, and Liam nods. “Ok, so, you went out on your last night there as ‘just Liam’ …”

“We were walking, trying to decide what to do, and ended up finding this hole-in-the-wall dive bar, and decided to go there to eat. The others went in to grab a table while I called Bastien to let him know where our first stop was. I came in a few moments later … and that’s when I saw Riley for the first time …”

**

Liam slips his phone into his pocket and pulls open the door, the bell above jingling as he steps inside. The inside of the dimly lit bar is a bit rustic with retro vibes, and he scans the open space, looking for his friends; he spots them in a booth near the bar, where the waitress is already taking their order.

As he starts to make his way towards them, Liam sees Drake throw a finger over his shoulder, pointing in his direction; the woman turns her head and meets his eyes. As he approaches, she’s staring at him with slightly raised brows. It’s not a look he’s used to getting, one where someone is surprised simply because they know who he is; it’s something else, and Liam hides his amusement behind a polite smile.

“Sorry I’m late. Thank you for your patience, Miss …?”

The woman blinks a couple of times as she looks up at him. “Uh, Riley.”

“Charmed to make your acquaintance, Riley,” Liam politely nods.

Riley finally smiles, and he instantly takes notice of the genuine kindness behind it. “Trust me, the pleasure’s all mine. It’s nice to meet you.” They hold eye contact for a brief moment before Riley subtly shakes her head. “Let me, uh … let me go put this order in.”

**

“So, was it love at first sight?” the woman asks with a smile.

“No,” Liam chuckles. “Although I’ve always been a bit of a hopeless romantic, I’ve never been one to believe in love at first sight. Lust, maybe, but falling in love after only a single glance … no. I did think she was beautiful … and I noticed her kind eyes and the way her smile was genuine. But it wasn’t as though I looked at her and immediately thought, ‘This is the woman I’m going to marry.’ That was the furthest thing from my mind.”

“But you must have had a connection beyond that first glance. I’m assuming, anyway, considering she came to Cordonia for your Social Season.”

“We did,” Liam nods with a smile. “The guys and I ended up being the last patrons in the bar, and Riley was closing. When we finally decided to leave, we had no idea where to go. So, I approached Riley, apologized for us keeping her so late, and for our table being a bit on the demanding side … and I asked her if I could buy her a drink to make up for it. I told her we didn’t know where we were going … and she suggested skipping the clubs and going to this secret cove on the beach instead. We had gone out every night, and that last night, I was in a bit of an odd mood. I didn’t really feel like repeating the nights before. So, when Riley suggested going to the cove, I happily obliged. And so we went …”

**

Liam sits on the log in front of the fire, staring at Riley as he listens to her intently. Although they’re having a simple and basic conversation about absolutely nothing at all, he finds himself drawn into every word she says. “Sorry,” she smiles sheepishly. “I’m over here talking your ear off.”

“Please, don’t apologize,” Liam smiles with a shake of his head. They hear laughter from Drake, Maxwell, and Tariq, and they both glance over. “Thank you for bringing us here, by the way. They seem to be having fun.”

Riley turns back to him and gives him a thoughtful look. “You seem like the type who’s used to putting everyone else first …”

Liam’s a bit taken aback, but in a good way, and he smiles. “And what makes you say that?”

“I can just tell. I’m good at reading people. Now, your friends aside, what about you? Are you enjoying yourself?”

“What I’m enjoying most is the company,” Liam says. He watches Riley smile at the compliment as she glances away, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Honestly … hanging out with you is the most fun I’ve had this entire trip.”

Riley looks back at him with a look of surprise. “That’s really sweet, but I guess that means you haven’t really been enjoying yourself very much …”

“It’s not that,” Liam ruefully smiles. “The trip has been amazing, but it’s missing something. I really wanted to do one thing in particular while I was here …”

“And what’s that?”

“It’s … well …” Liam rubs the back of his neck, smiling with chagrin. “You’re probably going to think this is silly, especially as a native New Yorker, but I’ve always wanted to see the Statue of Liberty. It just … wasn’t really in the guys’ plans, so we never got around to it. And it’s my last night here.” He lets out a breath, shaking his head. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I’m not at all. And I appreciate them throwing me this bachelor party--”

“It’s your bachelor party?” Riley interrupts, and her tone is a mixture of surprise and what Liam swears sounds like disappointment, but she fixes a smile onto her face. “Congratulations.”

“If you knew the whole story, you probably wouldn’t be congratulating me so quickly …”

Riley’s brows knit. “Oh?”

“I actually don’t know who I’m going to marry yet … only that I’ll have to pick my fiancée by the end of the year …” Liam knows he’s said too much as he takes in the confusion that fills her expression from his words.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Riley asks.

As Liam stares at her, Bastien’s stipulation for allowing him to roam free that night fills his mind. “It’s imperative that you not tell anyone who you really are, Prince Liam. Do you understand?” Liam agreed, no problem. It was the entire basis of not wanting Bastien to tag along in the first place; he just wanted to feel normal for one night. But for all his efforts to be just Liam that night … he can’t bring himself to lie to her. “The truth is, Riley … I’m … I’m the Crown Prince of Cordonia …”

Riley’s eyes grow wide. “You’re a Prince?”

And this is the moment he knows she’ll change. They all do. At first, it’s shock. Then comes the affectation and insincerity. He’s used to it. Liam simply nods in response to her question before looking at the dancing flames of the fire, waiting for that shift.

“This doesn’t change anything,” she says quietly, and Liam slowly looks back at her, his brows now knitted. “I don’t care what your title is. You’re still the same guy I met earlier this evening … caring, thoughtful.” She offers him a smile. “I’ve seen a lot of customers come and go, but I’ve never seen any guy at his own bachelor party be concerned about whether the waitress was having a good night.”

Liam feels a swell of something that he can’t explain fill his chest. “You have no idea how rare it is to hear someone say that. You’re the first one, in fact.” He smiles, wide and genuine. “It seems the more I talk to you, the more I like you, Riley …”

**

“So, you broke the one rule you had for that night and told her who you were …”

“I didn’t want to lie to her.”

“But even in doing so, you expected the worst-case scenario in thinking she was going to become different towards you …”

“It’s what I was used to,” Liam shrugs. “It’s not very often I go somewhere where someone doesn’t recognize me, but when that does happen, and they do find out who I am -- what I am -- they treat me differently. They suddenly become a different version of the person they originally portrayed in an attempt to impress me and hold my focus and attention. And it was like that even as just the spare … but it was even worse after I became Crown Prince. With Riley, I didn’t want it to happen, but yes, I expected it to. I didn’t have any other experience to go by …”

“But she didn’t change … and she saw you for just Liam … not the prince,” the woman says.

Liam nods with a small smile. “She couldn’t have cared less. It was … refreshing, to say the least.”

“So, that first night, you sat and talked with her …”

Liam nods. “Yes … we talked for a little while. And then, she had this idea on a whim. She said she wanted to take me to see the Statue of Liberty. Now, it’s after midnight at this point, and I’m thinking that there’s absolutely no way this woman is going to make that happen; even I, someone with connections, would have to go through some hoops to pull that off. But she was so damn convincing, and she would not take no for an answer,” he chuckled. “She said she had some favors she needed to cash in. So, I played along, not wanting to burst her bubble … but also because I wasn’t really ready for our time together to end. I figured if -- when -- she couldn’t make it happen, I would at least get some extra time with her.”

“So, did she pull it off?” the woman asks with a curious smile.

“She went out of her way to make it happen. She had a friend who ran one of the ferryboats, and they picked us up at the pier, took us to Liberty Island … and it was incredible. No one had ever done anything like that for me before. Sure, I had people go out of their way to impress the Prince, but never someone who did something for just me, who did something out of nothing more than genuine kindness and expected nothing in return. And it was at that moment that I knew there was something special about her.”

“How so?”

“I didn’t know what it was … but it was like …” Liam pauses, rubbing his hand over his mouth as he searches for the right words to explain, and the woman watches his eyes grow wistful. “It was like I looked at her … and suddenly felt this bizarre sense of familiarity, like I knew her without really knowing her at all. And I just … I knew she was going to matter to me without knowing why or even how. Which all sounds completely crazy, I know, considering we were complete strangers from opposite sides of the world who had spent maybe an hour together with zero intention of ever seeing one another again, but …” He trails off, smiling softly as he remembers that otherworldly feeling Riley ignited inside him that night as though it was yesterday.

“But you did see her again after that night,” she smiles. Liam nods, and she can see a twinkle in his eye. “How did that come about? How did an everyday waitress from New York end up in the Social Season of a Prince who lived across an ocean?”

Liam smiles. “That night when I got back to the hotel … I was kind of in a daze,” he says, and his cheeks slightly flush. “Bastien was not happy that I had gone off on my own and was trying to lecture me, and once he gave up and left, the others were asking me where I had been. I told them I had been with Riley and where she took me …” Liam smiled as he looked down at his hands in his lap, remembering how he had left out the details of the kiss they had shared on the boat; he didn’t want them harping on him over it. “But Maxwell … he noticed something that perhaps I didn’t even realize at the time. And he’s the reason she came. He went to her, offered to have House Beaumont sponsor her … and managed to get her to agree to come to a country she’d never even heard of to compete for my hand.”

“So, she must have felt a similar connection that you did since she came for you,” the woman says. Liam smiles again and nods, but she notices a mixture of happiness and what appears to be remorse in his eyes. “Tell me about the moment you realized she had come to Cordonia.”

“I was back home … back to reality. And other than me being the center of everyone’s focus and attention that night … it started out like any other ball …”

**

“I’m looking forward to seeing more of you during the season,” Liam lies as he holds his fake smile in front of Lady Penelope, whose parents are watching just a few feet away. She giggles and curtsies before turning and rushing towards her mother.

A break in the line allows the Prince to momentarily drop his facade. For once, he’s thankful this is a masquerade; it makes it harder for others to take notice of his less than enthused expression behind his mask. His cheeks hurt from forcing a smile for the last half hour straight. He’s stiff on the dais, something he knows his father has undoubtedly noticed and will lecture him about the first chance he gets. And he’s exhausted from his late night out the night before and the jet lag from his long flight home. But every eye in that ballroom is on him. They’re watching his interactions with each suitor, trying to gain insight on who they believe he has a connection with so they can gossip about it.

There’s no connection. There’s no spark. There’s nothing about any of these women that has intrigued him.

So far, he’s spoken with three of the four suitors in attendance tonight: Olivia, Lady Hana, and Lady Penelope. They all come from reputable noble families and are well versed in etiquette, protocol, and Cordonian history and politics; it’s the only thing he has in common with any of them. They’re as tense and uncomfortable as he is, save for Olivia, who he knows believes she has the best shot because of their long-standing friendship. She doesn’t. Even though she would make a good Queen, he wouldn’t be a good friend if he chose her, knowing how she feels about him when he doesn’t return those feelings, and he knows he never will. Regina was kind enough to give him a heads up about Madeleine’s return to court; she would be gracing everyone with her presence tomorrow at the picnic, and he was told to keep it quiet. She would be suitor number five. Liam knows the rest of court will be surprised by her return and her choice to join the season, but he doesn’t need to pretend to understand why; it’s his father’s not-so-subtle attempt to urge him to carry out the arrangement originally made for her and Leo.

Liam doesn’t want to choose her; he doesn’t want to choose any of them. But he has a duty to fulfill, so he knows he must push aside his own happiness to carry out that duty. He feels discontent, but there’s nothing he can do. This is his reality, and one of these women will be his chosen bride. He feels his stomach twist in knots at the thought.

Liam knows marrying for love is a distant dream; he’s accepted his new role as Crown Prince and is now resigned to a life of service. That includes his impending marriage. It didn’t make it easier knowing that his choice for a Queen -- for a wife, a lifetime partner -- is just another piece in an archaic political puzzle. And it’s a choice he really has no say in at all. Sure, in the end, he can “pick” any of the suitors presented to him, but they need to also be chosen by the press, the people, and the royal council. His “choice” needs to reflect who everyone else wants for him and Cordonia. It isn’t about him, despite it being his life.

It never was.

As Liam stands in the receiving line scanning the crowded ballroom, he sees movement out of the corner of his eye; he glances over and watches as a lone masked woman steps towards him. He doesn’t recognize her; he’s recognized every other person here tonight, even through their masks, but not her. She stops in front of him with a smile and curtsies. “Your Highness,” she says quietly, and he can hear the slight nervousness in her voice.

“Hello,” Liam smiles as she meets his gaze through their masks. “You’ll have to forgive me, but I don’t think we’ve met …”

“Oh?” she smiles. “And how does a Prince greet a beautiful mystery woman?”

Liam grins, intrigued by her quick wit. “With a kiss on the hand, I hope?” He takes her hand and raises it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles as he holds her gaze. “Now, I believe I know every other lady here, so your very presence is baffling me. I can’t stop my mind from racing. Is she a high-ranking aristocrat from a distant country? Or a wealthy woman of the world?” he smiles. “So, who are you? What brings you here?”

“You brought me,” the stranger grins. “I think all of the women here tonight are here for you.”

“In a manner of speaking,” Liam chuckles. “But no one’s surprised me yet like this.”

“You’ll be even more surprised when you figure out the truth,” she replies, and there’s a hint of familiar mischief in her smile.

“And what is that?”

“No guesses yet?”

Liam smiles and furrows his brows beneath his mask in concentration; he studies her for a moment, and then his eyes go wide when he catches that familiar twinkle in her eyes. He’s momentarily stunned into silence as he tries to process that it’s her. All day he’d forced himself to stop thinking about the woman who had shown him more kindness and genuinity in one night than he’d been shown his whole life. He knew thinking about her was futile because they were nothing more than passing ships; they shared a few hours together, a kiss -- one that consumed his thoughts -- and then they said goodbye.

But now she was here, standing in front of him.

“Riley?” he finally gasps, and her grin broadens at the shock in his tone. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

“So … this is a good surprise, I hope?”

“The best,” Liam grins. “But … how did you get here? And, not that I’m complaining, but why are you here?”

Riley smiles nervously. “Maxwell and his brother are sponsoring me. He brought me here to join the other suitors for your Social Season.”

“Really?” Liam’s eyes widen once again, and he feels this inexplicable swell in his chest. “I can’t … I can’t believe you came all of this way … for me.”

“Well, I …” Riley trails off and smiles sheepishly. “I know this probably seems crazy, but I … I felt like there was something special between us … and I want to see what it can be.”

Liam’s eyes soften, and he feels this relief that the unexplainable connection he felt with her wasn’t all in his head. He reaches out and takes Riley’s hand in his, unable to stop smiling. “I feel the same way.”

Liam holds her gaze for a moment, and all of his focus is on her until he hears the purposeful clearing of a throat that pulls his attention; he looks over his shoulder to see Bastien giving him a knowing look. Suddenly, the exhilaration he felt just moments before starts to fade. He looks back at Riley and slowly drops her hand. While he still feels this elation that she’s there and had come all of that way for him, he is suddenly overcome with guilt.

“We’re not in New York anymore, though, Riley,” Liam says quietly. “The rules are different here. The Social Season … all of these events … they’re set up not just to give me time with my potential matches, but also to give my parents, the council, and the people of Cordonia time to get to know their future Queen. From now on … everyone will be watching your every move …”

“That sounds fun,” Riley smiles.

Liam can’t help but smile in return at her optimism. “I’m sure you’ll charm them just as you’ve charmed me.” He glances down the receiving line, seeing more guests start to make their way towards his father and Regina, which means they’ll momentarily be making their way towards him. He looks back at Riley with a regretful expression. “Unfortunately, the receiving line isn’t the best place to talk. We only have a few more minutes before the next lady arrives …”

“In that case, how are you holding up?”

Liam’s eyes go wide in surprise again. “At a time like this, you’re asking about me?” That one question from her speaks volumes to him. “That means a lot to me, really,” he smiles. “This whole thing --” he gestures around “-- it’s a lot of pressure, but I knew what I was getting into. As the Crown Prince of Cordonia, I can only have so much say over who I marry … and I understand why. It doesn’t make it easier … but it’s what I was raised for.” Just then, Liam sees Lady Kiara out of the corner of his eye. “I’m sorry … our time is up.”

“We really aren’t in New York anymore, are we?” Riley says with a rueful smile.

“No,” Liam replies somberly. “But I hope to see you again later tonight if you’ll save a dance for me.” Riley nods with a smile before she steps away. In an instant, Liam puts his practiced smile back in place -- one that he didn’t have to force with Riley -- as Lady Kiara approaches him; she stops in front of him alongside her parents.

“Your Highness,” she smiles politely.

Liam takes her offered hand and bows as she curtsies, but he finds his eyes discreetly watching Riley as she disappears into the crowd.

**

“How did that make you feel knowing she had come because of you … for you?”

Liam shakes his head with a smile. “Honestly, I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t explain that connection I felt with her that night in New York, but knowing that she felt it too … enough to fly to a country she’d never even heard of just for a chance to see if there was really something there between us? I was stunned …”

“But happy,” the woman states with a grin.

“Of course,” Liam nods. “I was incredibly happy … but it didn’t take long for that happiness to shift into guilt.”

The woman’s brows furrow. “Guilt? Why’s that?”

“Because she had come all of that way for me. Because she stepped into a world that she was completely unfamiliar with -- a world full of unsettling expectations and unreasonable, sometimes insufferable, judgment from everyone around her -- all on my behalf. And at the time, I had a duty … a responsibility to the process of things. I knew that first night she showed up that I wouldn’t be able to pay her the attention she deserved … no matter how much I wanted to.”

She nods, writing something onto the notepad in her lap. “Did she see it as you … ignoring her? As you putting her aside for others or your duty?”

“I was worried that she would feel that way because this obviously wasn’t a typical courting situation -- or dating, as she would call it -- but she was so understanding, and she remained that way throughout the entire season.”

“Walk me through the beginning of the season and how your relationship with her grew …”

Liam smiles. “After only the first night, being around her just felt … right. I found myself constantly thinking about her … worrying about her. And I found myself feeling … different, but in a good way. Riley instantly brought out more of a … spirited side of me. From that first night, she began to slowly chip away at that amenable shell that I had spent my whole life in. I knew I couldn’t spend the time with her that I wanted to, so any chance I got to do so, even if that included breaking a few protocols and rules by way of sneaking out and around -- which wasn’t something I would typically do -- I would take it. And the more time I spent with her, the more it felt like I was …” Liam trails off for a moment. “It felt like I was coming back to life.”

“You went into your season expecting nothing more than a political match. So what was that like, having that realization of your feelings for her?”

“It was terrifying,” Liam says quietly. “I knew it was fast … and it was most certainly unexpected. I think the hardest part was wanting to tell her how I was feeling but being stuck because of the process of things.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was still trying to uphold the expectations set for me during the season, to be fair to everyone. And I was afraid to say any of my feelings out loud because I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. Riley seemed as drawn to me as much as I was to her, but I made sure not to let things between us get too … intense because I didn’t want her to be hurt in any way. I almost told her how I felt the day of the regatta when we snuck off from the beach party … but I choked.” Liam pauses for a moment, thinking back on the day of the regatta, the day his father announced he would be stepping down, and later that evening, the news he told him. “My father announced at the regatta that he would be stepping down at the end of the season. I was stunned because he didn’t tell me beforehand, so I found out along with everyone else. That night … he told me the reason why was because he was sick … he had cancer. And that … that changed things …”

The woman leans back in her chair. “Changed things how?”

“He stressed to me the importance of my choice … because I was now going to be crowned King at the end of my season. And it meant that whoever I chose at the end would immediately become Queen. I think, looking back … he knew I had developed feelings for Riley then; he didn’t miss the opportunity to guilt trip me with a reminder that he more than likely wouldn’t be around, so he made sure to emphasize that I should focus on choosing someone who could handle it. He told me that making the wrong choice could have detrimental effects on Cordonia.

“So I … I struggled with my feelings for Riley. I struggled with the pressure and feeling as though I had to choose between what made me happy and what everyone else wanted, and what my father was telling me was for the good of Cordonia. As someone who had always been acquiescent, I was torn. On the one hand, I had this woman I was falling in love with … but on the other hand, I had a duty to my country to provide them with someone who would be a good Queen that suddenly felt even more pressing than it did before. I knew what I saw in her and what I thought … but we were only a couple of weeks into the season at that point … she was still new to court, and the press and the people were still getting to know her. And I didn’t know how she felt about me or about taking on such a huge responsibility, and so soon.”

“That’s a lot for one person to deal with at one time,” the woman says, staring at Liam as she processes his thoughts. “So … you’re 24 years old, soon to be crowned King, struggling with making a choice between love and duty, and trying to cope with your ailing father …” Liam nods, chewing the inside of his cheek. “How did you feel about your father’s illness?”

“Truthfully … I wasn’t really given much time to process it. He told me the news and then said I had more pressing matters to concern myself with. He didn’t want to talk about it, and I was told I couldn’t tell anyone. So … it was just another thing I had to keep to myself and deal with alone.”

The woman nods, jotting something down onto her notepad. “So, you were navigating through a lot of mixed feelings and emotions during the remainder of the Social Season …” Liam nods softly. “Was there a moment where things began to shift for you? Where the pieces started to fall into place as far as your choice?”

“Applewood,” Liam replies.

“And what was so significant there?”

“It wasn’t one thing in particular. We spent a significant amount of time there -- close to a month -- and every moment I spent with Riley, my choice became more and more clear. The press really began watching her after the regatta once my father’s announcement was made, and it became clear she was a frontrunner for my choice, but they didn’t have a bad thing to say about her because she impressed them so much. She impressed the people. My friends grew closer to her. Even my father … he seemed to take a liking to her.”

Liam pushes down the anger he feels; that was for later. His father aside, he can’t help but smile softly as he thinks back to that time and how easily Riley captured the hearts of so many people, but most of all, his.

“Every person she met seemed to be drawn in and touched by her magnetic personality; they couldn’t help but like her. She was a woman who was kind and moral, whose laughter was contagious, whose smile beamed, and who radiated possibility and hope. She gave me that. And my feelings for her just kept getting stronger; I couldn’t remember a time that I had ever felt as happy as I was in those moments with her. And we talked about the future … and it was something that when I started to look ahead, I couldn’t see one without her in it. I didn’t want to. And knowing that my dream of marrying for love wasn’t as distant or impossible as I once thought … it made me appreciate and love her even more. Once we left Applewood, I knew without a doubt in my mind that I was going to choose her …”

The woman smiles. “And then comes the moment you were waiting for … your Coronation Ball.” She watches Liam’s body stiffen at the mention of the ball; his entire demeanor changes in an instant as he shifts his position on the sofa and looks away from her as his jaw imperceptibly ticks. He’s suddenly uneasy and clearly uncomfortable. She glances at her watch before resting her hands atop her notepad. “Why don’t we stop there for today.” She can sense he needs a break in the conversation before whatever is next.

Liam nods tersely, still looking away from her. “Ok.” He stands and lets out a breath; he’s glad she stopped when she did because he’s not mentally prepared for the next part; he needs time. When she stands from her chair, he forces a halfhearted smile as he extends his hand to hers. “Thank you.”

“I’ll see you next week,” she nods.

“I’ll be here.”

As Liam heads for the door, she turns towards him curiously. “Liam …” she says, and he looks over his shoulder at her as he reaches for the door handle. “I know you said this story wasn’t a picture-perfect fairytale, but I have to say … so far, it doesn’t sound too terrible,” she smiles.

Liam averts her gaze, feeling the shame, guilt, fear, and anger he still carries rising to the surface. “This was only the beginning …”

What I want to see in SNW and especially for Pike… and what not

Warning

Long post, because as you might have noticed by now, I love to write and I write a lot.

Prologue (aka the elephant in the room)

So uh… I guess I will get to see the show at some point… still not sure when. I must admit my excitement is nearly entirely gone due to Paramount+ treating us international fans like… not even 2nd class fans, they treat us like we don’t exist or matter at all. Every promotional video, every interview, every Twitter announcement that exclusively takes place for US and Canadian fans feels like mocking. There is no, absolutely ZERO, ZILCH, NIL, NADA advertisement over here AT ALL. My brother, who is an even bigger Star Trek fan than me (but who is not so much hanging out in social media), didn’t even know SNW is going to start in May, he thought the show was still in the making.

That being said, I’ve worked on my personal wish list for SNW for quite a while. I have rewritten it probably 10 times by now, especially after some of my wishes were already fulfilled as I could see in the trailer (excursion jackets). Even though I do not feel the vibe anymore, I’ve decided to post this anyways because… well… it’s already written and would be wasted energy if I don’t post it. So here we go.

Different tones in different episodes

With SNW being episodic, this allows for different tones in each episode. One episode can be all about action, another can feature a horror story and another can be more comical. I sure hope to see some comedic relief on the show every now and then (if you think Anson cannot do comedy, I highly recommend watching him in Hood of Horror). With this being said, I’d love to see…

Tribbles!

We know they have already been discovered by the time SNW will launch, because Lorca had a tribble as pet in his ready room. And then of course there is also the Short Trek “Trouble with Edward”. I’d love to see Pike and his crew deal with a Tribble infestation (doesn’t have to be on the Enterprise). Or maybe they discover the Tribble's home planet "Tribbletopia".

Pike being the hero

At least every now and then. Now this requires some explanation. We already know that there will be a Christopher Pike Medal of Valor. I think the medal mostly goes back to Pike’s great sacrifice when he tried to rescue the cadets and was poisoned by delta radiation. But I am sure the medal is also based on Pike’s overall service in Starfleet.

While we’ve already seen him jumping headfirst into adventures, he also had to be rescued quite often out of said adventures (even in the ICW comic!). While that is not a bad thing at all (and whumpers will get their fair share I am sure), balance is the key word here. The medal must have a true meaning, let Pike have his hero moments.

Don’t let Pike act like a reckless invincible madman

Pike knows his fate, and I am sure he has already jumped to the same conclusion as many Star Trek fans: If he knows his fate, and he knows he has to be on a cadet ship and be a fleet captain for the events to unfold, he also knows that up until that event he will survive pretty much everything. That could lead to him taking insane risks for himself, or worse, for his crew as well. I hope the writers find a way to balance that out somehow.

However, if the writers go that route, I at least hope for the next…

Let Pike learn a hard lesson

There needs to be consequences. If Pike risks his own life over and over knowing he cannot die up to above mentioned event, then I hope there will be that one key episode that teaches him a hard lesson. This lesson should involve only him and not another character. Another character’s death caused by his reckless behavior would be too lazy writing. The lesson should effect only him. Even though he might not die, he might still get himself in a really bad situation that teaches him there can be a worse fate – even if just temporal - than what he saw in his vision. The lesson learnt should make him rethink his decisions and make him take better care of himself.

Psychological evaluation

In case the writers decide to let Pike recklessly risk his life because he knows he cannot die, and if there won’t be a hard lesson for Pike to learn (see above), I would love to see people around him become increasingly concerned to the point where Starfleet orders a health check and psychological evaluation of Pike, or else he’ll have his command taken from him.

You can tell by now that I see this “knowing my fate” as problematic for the entire length of the show. I can see him dealing with it for a season or even two, but IMO it shouldn’t be the driving force throughout the entire show.

Don’t let Pike have a girl on every planet

There are no doubts that Anson is a very fine-looking man (understatement of the century). I hope the writers will not get tempted to throw women at Pike in every episode. Pike is not Kirk. He has very high moral standards, having countless affairs would contradict that.

Besides, Pike already found the love of his life. The bond to Vina is still very strong (as we have seen in Discovery). We also already know that he will (be) return(ed) to her.

I would not be surprised if we see the Talosians reaching out to Pike a couple more times throughout the show. After all, they are kind of linked to him and will become his caretaker. If they do establish contact again via long range telepathy, I am sure we will also see Vina again.

I hope the writers won’t destroy what they already have. And yes, that trailer still bugs me.

The only affairs I would accept are the kind that are out of Pike’s control, like Orions or other trickery involved.

A pet for Pike

Since I’ve seen Anson in his Discovery uniform on the Captain’s chair with his puppy Mac in his lap, I want to see Pike having his own pet in SNW.

Preferably a pet that gets picked up from an alien planet. I’d love to see a scene where the crew tries to find a new owner for the pet on the ship, but the pet rejects just everyone of them. That is everyone except Pike. The pet doesn’t need to be constantly visible throughout the show, just every now and then.

Spock mind melting with Pike

I just want to see it, no matter the plot.

No retconning Pike’s fate, but continue thereafter

Yes, it stinks to know what will become of Pike. But for the sake of keeping canon towards TOS intact, Pike must go through it all. I just hope the show will not end with Pike’s horrible accident. The show needs to end in a positive way. I hope we’ll get to see at least a couple more episodes of his new life on Talos IV where we see him coping with the knowledge that he’s now basically exiled from Starfleet and his home, but at least can live a happy life with Vina.

However, it wouldn’t be a retcon if the writers continue from there on. After Pike and Vina spent some time on Talos IV, there are many options how both could be helped physically as well. We already know that crippled Pike has an artificial heart to keep him alive (as Bones mentions in the Menagerie Part 1). And we have seen what Starfleet is capable of if we think of Airiam. We also know the Talosians are able to heal as they tried to do so with Vina, but because they didn’t have the right “sample” to learn from, they did the best they could which resulted in Vina’s crippled appearance. Also, who says Starfleet has stopped working on healing Pike? The chair might have just been a first step of many to come. Maybe Starfleet will develop the required technologies to provide him with bionic replacements.

Or let them find an alien race with far advanced medical technology (like in the Voyager episode “the Phage”).

The possibilities are endless. And they could even be carried over to a movie if it shouldn’t be part of the show.

Time travel to Earth in the year 202X

Time travel episodes to a younger Earth are a classic in Star Trek, and considering certain spoilers about *coughs* another Captain *coughs*, it looks like we might see that in season 2. It would be cool to see the landing party (with Pike of course) deal with our current world. It would be funny to see them deal with social media, influencers, nosey yellow press, UFO hunters, NASA or even darker “foes” like the CIA who suspect them of being aliens or time travelers.

What would Pike’s reaction be to the Kardashians or Q Anon? Endless possibilities!

Let Pike be the alien in one episode

After Pike defended the Prime Directive so vehemently in New Eden, I’d love to see him end up on a planet with a pre-warp civilization all alone (shuttle crash or whatever) and be the alien to them (and the Enterprise being unable to find and beam him up for a couple weeks). I’m dying to see how he tries to uphold the Prime Directive while very obviously he is the one who looks different from everyone else on the planet. Whether the civilization is curious, hostile or friendly towards him I don’t care. I just want to see Pike squirm around when pressed to tell who and what he is and where he is from.

Horses

We know Pike is a horse man, so show us them horsies some more!

No Kirk please (I know this is already a lost fight)

In the Menagerie, Kirk states that he met Pike only once for a very short time, basically just to hand over Enterprise. So, I hope we won’t see a lot of Kirk in SNW. Yes, yes, I know the leaked pictures. And again, I have nothing against Paul Wesley. But I totally despise the idea of bringing in Kirk so early, time travel episode or not. Fans campaigned for a Pike show, why the writers think it makes fans ecstatic to see Kirk already in season 2 is beyond me. Hopefully he only shows up for 1 episode and then never again for at least 4 seasons (as much as that makes me feel sorry for Wesley).

Do not turn the Pike show into a Kirk show

In addition to my previous point, I hope the writers don’t show the transfer from Pike to Kirk (sometime in season 10 or so 😋) and then just move on with Kirk as the new Captain in SNW. We already have TOS for all the Kirk stories. Please leave it a Pike focused show from start to finish.

A black collar for the uniforms

The new SNW uniforms look much more comfortable for the wearers than the Discovery ones (although the Discovery ones looked very cool). I am all for that, because I know the working hours for actors on such a show are INSANE. The more comfortable it is for them, the better. However, I think if the costume designers add a black collar to the v-neck (instead of the black undershirt), they would look much nicer and closer to the TOS uniforms. Maybe the uniform will evolve over the seasons to become more like the TOS ones. That would be neat.

Pike shutting down technobabble

I just love how Pike gets practical and finds his own words in Discovery when things get too technical. I hope he keeps that up in SNW.  He can have as many damn red things as he likes as long as the crew knows what he’s referring to.

Bring back Tenavik

The time guardian Tenavik from Boreth looked so cool and Kenneth Mitchell played him so well. I sure hope we gonna see him again!

Bring back Ash Tyler (and continue the rivalry with Pike)

I enjoyed the rivalry between Ash and Pike in Discovery. Even though they have learnt to respect each other and understand that both are on the same side, I could still imagine them ending up in some banter every now and then. Besides, with the Section 31 show not getting on with it, I feel that not having Shazad Latif in a Star Trek show would be a big wasted opportunity.

Please no Mirror Universe

I know this is a Star Trek classic and it is probably wishful thinking on my side, but I hope there won’t be any mirror universe episodes. I get that they are fun to play for the actors because they can be the diametral opposite of what they usually play. But to me mirror universe episodes are just a waste of time. In the end everyone will be back to their normal selves and all the events in the mirror universe served no purpose at all, except that we know there might be an evil Pike, a dumb Spock or a sadistic mad scientist M’Benga who likes to torture his “patients”.

However, should the writers decide to do a mirror universe episode, I want to see Pike channeling his inner Cullen Bohannon.

Tholians  

I wanna see that war unfolding and Pike dealing with this species. A reverse scenario to “In a Mirror, Darkly” from Enterprise would be interesting, in which the Mirror Enterprise crew had a Tholian captured and tortured. I’d like the reverse scenario not as a mirror scenario though, because see above. However, Tholian’s require a temperature of around 200°C (~400°F) to feel comfortable. I wonder how they would handle a prisoner on board of their ship. If they gave him a bubble with acceptable temperatures for humans, there wouldn’t be any room to escape because the moment he left the bubble he’d be steam fried. A cell without physical walls, interesting.

It could be one of the most challenging diplomacy tasks to get out of that situation.

Forced recruiting

An episode in which Pike and some of his away team members are caught by a species who recruits whomever they can get a hold on by force. I shamelessly borrowed this idea from John Jackson Miller’s “The Enterprise War”. However, I am not thinking about those suits. I am thinking about a boot camp, military crew cuts, put in military gear, memory wiped, new identities implanted so they think they actually ARE part of the troop by their own will. Can be a multi-episode arc. And yes you read correctly, I wrote crew cuts. Just to see us all scream in agony when Pike’s wonderful hair is cut. Hah! But my friends, Anson will rock that easily and if they do that as the last 2 episodes of a season, we can see his wonderful hair again in the next season, maybe in a new style even. Variety is everything!

Robert April

I’d love to see an episode in which Pike wakes up just as every morning and prepares for his shift. He mindlessly puts his golden uniform on, sips his morning coffee, bites into a toast… and when he’s about to leave his quarters and passes a mirror, he freezes and stares unbelievingly at his younger self. His hair doesn’t show a single grey streak, his uniform only shows 2 stripes and it looks a bit different overall. He is a commander. Confused he walks to the bridge where he sees Robert April in the Captain’s chair. Robert – knowing his prodigy all too well - looks at his Number One and notices his confusion, asks him about it. Pike is unsure what is real, this reality… or the reality where he was yesterday. Did he all just dream it and he in truth is not a Captain yet? Or is this a trap and he shouldn’t reveal what’s bothering him? He decides to keep his confusion for himself for now and proceeds his duty as April’s Number One. What the episode is all about I don’t even care lol, I just want to see Robert April (and I want him to be the fatherly figure for Pike as Pike is now for his crew).

Gorn

I WANT THEM! That’s all I can say about this. Oh, and Pike fighting a Gorn as a homage to Kirk fighting one. 😁

Novel “Burning Dreams”

Please (partly) turn beta canon in Burning Dreams to alpha canon. Yes I know this means we will lose some redshirts, but Pike kept as a pet for a while by a carnivore deaf hunter alien species Pike can only communicate with by using gestures? Yes, please! Put those Black Bolt sign language to some good use again. 😁 (But please skip the promotion to Fleet Captain… just bring this episode earlier in his career).

Family background

Just an episode in which we learn more about Pike’s family. Does he have siblings? Are his parents still alive? Who actually are his parents for real? In beta-canon (again in “Burning Dreams”) there’s this thing going on that Pike is adopted by Charlie Pike (who later turns out to be his for a long time absent biological dad) and his original name is actually Christopher McKinnies. I’d like to see his family background resolved once and for all. This adoption thing is a nice idea, but it is still beta canon and some of that story doesn’t sit well with me.

Surprising reveal

We do not have that much background about Pike. Is he really 100% human? Why could the Talosians access his mind so easily? Why is Pike empathic above average? I’d not mind a surprising reveal (even to Pike himself) sometime in season 2 or 3 that he is ¼ Betazoid. Not enough to be able to use telephathy, but enough to have rudimentary effects coming with it. I am not sure this would go with canon as I think Betazoids were first introduced in TNG, but at that time they were already a very well established species within the Federation. As they are indistinguishable from humans (except for their all black pupils), they maybe lived in secret amongst humans for way longer than we thought…

Spiders

Pike hates spiders, so spiders need to be the center of at least one episode. I’m thinking either a horror episode in which Pike faces giant spiders or is haunted by an army of little spiders in his involuntary visions.

Or a humor episode in which he encounters a spider species who is super curious about those weird looking 2 legged beings (away team). They are so curious that they don’t want to let them leave again, all the while they do everything they can to make their guests feel comfortable. The spiders in the humor episode would kinda look cute, with big round eyes, fluffy hair. But still, they have 8 very long legs and they can produce silk which freaks Pike out no matter how nice and caring the spiders are towards him.

Pike’s Nemesis

I’d like to see a true nemesis of Pike’s develop throughout the show. Kirk had Khan. Picard had Q. Sisko had Dukat. Janeway also had Q (sort of). I think for Pike the nemesis should either be a Tholian or a Klingon. I’d love to see an antagonism of the kind we saw between Sisko and Dukat with changing states of emotion towards each other. Sometimes pure hate, sometimes they even grow some weird sort of respect for each other, sometimes they are forced to work together against an even greater enemy. But in the end there will be the big face-off and only one can survive (and we know who that will be… naturally).

Reggie//want you stealing my time even though i said i wanna be alone

Request: Can I request a Reggie/Reader with the song That's Us by Anson Seabra, maybe angst with a happy ending somehow? or just like the "vibe" of the song?

hey! i hope you like this!! its angsty which is something i love writing, but it does have a happy ending (sort of)!! have a great day everyone!! 

“So are you and Reggie officially over?” Betty asks, your bedroom goes silent as everyone looks at her and then at you. You feel yourself shrink slightly and you shift on the bed, not really knowing what to do. All eyes are on you as Betty, Veronica and Josie wait for you to answer. 

“Erm. Yep, I would say so.” You nod, keeping your gaze on the white duvet. Your fingers trace the flowers delicately sewn onto the fabric while you try and think of a way out of the conversation. It’s a conversation you’ve had over and over again, and it’s one you dread a little more every time it happens. 

“But you’ve broke up before. What makes you so sure this time?” Veronica asks, earning a small muttering of her name from Betty and an eye roll from Josie. You’d invited them over to cheer you up, but if anything you feel more depressed than before. And to make it worse, you know there’s no way you’re going to get out of it, however desperate you are. 

They’ll just keep pushing until they know what happened, they always do. You love your friends dearly, but they don’t know when to take a hint and to just leave something alone. 

So you take a deep breath and force yourself to look at them, trying to keep a neutral expression as you tell them details of how Reggie had broken your heart a mere two hours earlier. 

“The fact that he told me to get out of his life made it pretty clear.” You say, the words desperately trying to stay unspoken, but you force them out. You’re sure you sound bitter. 

You tried your best to make it sound like you didn’t care, like its happened so many other times so whats the difference now? But the way their expressions change from curiosity to sympathy shows that you tried and failed. Something you’re getting quite good at these days. 

“Oh.” Josie says quietly, placing a hand on your thigh.  

“Yep.” 

“Well, at least he can’t upset you anymore.” Betty tries, looking at the others in hopes that they’ll agree. 

“I think I’m still gonna be upset.” You sigh. 

“Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.” Josie says, and the three of you look at her confused. “All I’m saying is that you and Reggie have been together and not before. I’m not saying I’m happy that this happened, but maybe it’ll be good for you. You can find somebody that will love you through everything, not just the good bits.” 

i thought he did 

“Yeah, maybe.” You shrug. 

She has a point. Everyone knows that you and Reggie have a complicated relationship. You clearly like each other, but as soon as you try anything serious, he gets scared and it ends in disaster. Your friends are left to pick up the pieces while Reggie goes off and does god knows what with whoever will let him. It’s obvious that you like each other, but no matter how many times you try, something always seems to go wrong.

“I should’ve known it wouldn’t happen this time.” 

“Why?” Veronica asks. 

“I dunno, just something didn’t feel right.” You look at her. “Don’t give me that look. Nothing about this time felt right.” 

“You did start seeing each other again very quickly.” Betty says. “Maybe thats it. Maybe you need to take things slowly.” 

“Yeah, but it happens every goddam time. We like each other, we get together and it gets too much for him.” 

“Y/n-” 

“And to make it worse, for a while I thought this time we could have actually been something. I mean yeah, it didn’t feel entirely right, but I thought maybe thats just what we needed. Maybe we needed something different for it to work. I thought we could actually try, but we didn’t and then...” 

The girls just look at each other, unsure of what to say. Every single one of your friends have been rooting for the two of you. Since the day you met, there’s been something between the two of you. They watched two best friends fall in love over the years, a love that was blindingly obvious to everyone but the two of you. So when Reggie finally confessed that he liked you, everyone, including  yourself thought that was it. You’d live happily ever after and that would be it. 

But then you entered a casual relationship and it was a disaster from start to finish. Full of feelings and complicated emotions that neither one of you knew how to deal with. So it always ended in tears. 

You had tried to make it work properly, but Reggie hears the word relationship and he breaks out in a cold sweat, no matter how hard he wants one with you. You’re the only girl he could ever actually picture a future with, but his heart and his head want different things and he follows his head every single time. 

A few hours pass and eventually Josie, Betty and Veronica go home. Leaving you alone with your own thoughts, which is never good. You stare at your phone, wishing for it to light up. A text, a call anything. Anything to distract yourself from the thoughts swirling around your head. 

Everyone says life isn’t fair, and right now, you couldn’t agree more. 

Life isn’t fair, timing’s a bitch and boys are the worst. 

You glance at your phone again but the only thing you see is your reflection in the dark screen. You sigh and climb under the covers, pulling them all the way up over your head. You pull a teddy out from under your back you have to squeeze your eyes closed to stop yourself from crying. Reggie had seen it while he was out with his friends, they made fun of him, but he bought it proudly, excited to give it to you when he saw you. 

You shove it underneath your pillow and turn around, to stare at the blank wall beside you. Your eyes flutter shut and you find yourself thinking of him. Thinking of how the other night when you couldn’t sleep, you’d rang him. He’d been the only thing you could think of so you thought if you spoke to him, you’d sleep easier. 

He’d answered after the second ring and when he spoke you smiled so wide your entire face hurt. His voice was groggy from sleep but it was the cutest thing you’d ever heard and you wondered why you hadn’t done this sooner. Your mind had been racing with what ifs, but as soon as you heard him talk, you felt yourself relax. 

You talked for a while and he listened. You thought he’d fallen asleep, so you apologized for stealing his precious sleep and were just about to hang up but he quickly stopped you.  

“I want you stealing my time.” 

“Even though you said you wanted to be alone?” You tease, remembering a time when he was drunk. You said you’d stay with him, but he’d argued, saying he wanted to be by himself and that he’d be fine. Of course you didn’t listen and he was so confused when he woke up the next morning to find you asleep on his bedroom floor. 

“Always.” He replies. You didn’t even have to see him to know he was smiling. 

At the time, you thought the moment was perfect. But when you look back at it now, it makes your chest ache. 

How foolish you were to think it could have worked, that it could have ended well. 

But then again, you’re only human and it seems you never learn. You couldn’t help falling for him again, and iit doesn’t make it right. You don’t think anything can. 

You’ve probably called him all the names under the sun by the time you fall asleep. Some of them were whispered to yourself, others you text him. 

He’s the most selfish person you’ve ever met, and you make sure to tell him. To make him hurt even a fraction of how he hurt you. Because its not nice to be picked up and thrown away whenever he feels like it. You can’t tell someone you love them if you don’t mean it. 

You don’t get a reply, but you know he feels the same way. He’s probably talking to all of his friends. They’ll be telling him that everything is okay, that we’ll be fine, reassuring him that he did the right thing. 

Your sleep is restless, he breaks your heart even when you’re dreaming. You dream of him coming over at midnight, telling you he’s sorry and that he loves you. He spends the night but when you wake up he’s gone, leaving your bed cold and lonely while you want more of him. 

“Y/n?” You hear someone whisper and it makes you sit up quickly. You flip the lamp on, and your eyes scan the dimly lit room until they settle on a figure stood by the window. Your stare hardens as you watch the last person you want to see slowly make his way towards you. 

He looks sad. Good, you think. He deserves it. But then you feel bad for thinking that so you just decide to look at your duvet again, the flowers being a welcome distraction. 

“Y/n?” He repeats, his voice a little louder, but the tone is the same. Cautious, like he’s waiting to see what your reaction will be. 

“What do you want?” You ask through gritted teeth, forcing yourself to look him in the eye and he shrinks under your gaze. 

“I came here to say sorry.” He replies making you scoff. 

“And what number will this be?” 

“I really am sorry Y/n.” 

“Like you were the last time? And the time before that? Oh and what about the time before that?” 

“Yes.” He says louder. “I get it okay. I’m an ass.” 

“Well, at least there’s something we agree on.” 

“But please Y/n. Listen to me.” 

“Why should I?” 

“Because I asked you to.” 

“I don’t owe you anything.” You shrug. 

“You’re right. You don’t. But I owe you an explanation.” 

“What’s there to explain? We get together and then when I think it’s going to get serious, when you give me all of these hints and clues that you want more from us, you say it’s too much.” 

“I need to tell you something.” He pleads, but you just stare at him. 

“No, there’s something I need to tell you.” You argue and he stares at you in shock. “I can take the fall, but I can only fall for you so many times. I can only fall without you there to catch me so many times before I start to bruise. And I can take all the pain and pleasure, but I need you beside me during it. I need you to want all of it too. For better, or for worse. But what I can’t take is this. I can’t do it anymore.” You finish, tears flow down your cheeks as you look anywhere but at him. 

He stares at you in shock, before hesitantly walking towards you and sitting at the bottom of your bed. 

“Y/n. I came here to tell you that I love you.” He says and you look at him cautiously. “I know I’ve made you feel like I loved you before, but this time I really mean it. I’ve never had a girlfriend, not a serious one anyway. To be honest the idea of one absolutely terrifies me. And when I thought of being in a relationship with you, it terrified me too, despite how much I wanted it. But then I thought about it more, and I thought about how I would feel if I didn’t have you in my life and that scared me a hell of a lot more than anything else. I want you. I want this.” 

“Reggi-” 

“I’m not finished yet.” He interrupts you and you stare at him annoyed. “Y/n, I love you. I’m so in love with and I know I’m the last person to know and I definitely don’t deserve you. But I want to make this work. It’s the one thing I want more than anything in the world. I know we can make this work. I know I want to. So please,” He grabs your hand and squeezes it making you look at him. “Can we try again. And I mean really try?” 

“I-” You start, not really sure what to say. Well, you know what you want to say. But you can’t quite let yourself say yes, not yet. There’s still so many what-ifs and unanswered questions. “But what if we’re wrong? What if we’re not all that we thought?” 

“Then we won’t make it.” 

“Reggie...” You tear up again and he sighs, quickly wiping the few tears that have escaped away. His hands rest on your cheek and the two of you look at each other. You see an entire future with him, but it feels too far away. Too hard to get to. 

“But it doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying. I think the possibility that it might not work out, that this is our last chance to make it work, will make us fight more.” 

“But isn’t that just forcing it?” You ask.

“Maybe. But maybe thats what we need.” 

“You want us to force a relationship?” 

“No. I want us to really try at a relationship. Because when I think of my future, I really do see you in it. And I like what I see, so I want to try as hard as I can to make sure that happens.” 

“This is gonna be really fucking difficult isn’t it?” You sigh, sitting back a little. 

His hands drop from your cheeks, finding your own again and he holds them tightly. He slouches and the two of you stare at the open window, a gentle breeze makes the curtain move a little and the two of you just watch for a while. 

Finally, after what feels like seconds and hours all at once, he answers your question. 

“I guess that's love”

Hi! I've found some of the "badly explaining songs" and they're great! I was wondering if you could badly explain songs from either Bonnie and Clyde or Bandstand because that would be so cool. Tysm if you do, and have a great day?

sure! thank you anon, i chose bandstand and this is what i had in my mind. i hope you like it and have a great day too!

Just Like it was Before - *watches for the first time* can someone tell me what is hapenning???

Donny Novitski - this guy wants to make a new start by forming a band

I Know a Guy - donny: me and my boys are forming a band

Ain’t We Proud - me: *vibing to this song* ♪～(´ε｀ )

Proud Riff - he's just cleaning the gun...

Who I Was - a widow wishes to go back normal as before

Counterpoint/Pie Jesu - donny: *jaw drops after hearing julia sing*

Just Like It Was Before reprise - a brand new start ✨

First Steps First - wayne: sHe dOeSn't ReMemBer tHe brIdGe?!

Breathe - rehearsal timeee

You Deserve It - first gig together :)

Dwight Anson & Jean Ann - just announcing the next contestant...

Love Will Come and Find Me Again - 🎶 a show stopping number 🎶

Right This Way - *in captain america's voice* : whatever it takes

Nobody - is this from newsiesss?

The Boys Are Back - *inserts leonardo dicarprio pointing meme*

I Got a Theory - this two collabs to write a song about their hometown

Everything Happens - oops wrong move...

Welcome Home - it's been a long, long time but a little bit faster

A Band in New York City - new york here we goooo

This is Life - something is happeninggg

This is Life reprise - *pikachu shocked meme*

Welcome Home finale - uh oh they are really outraged right now

Epilogue - well, they deserve it ✨

“Paean to the People” | Directed by Lesli Linka Glatter

“Paean to the People” picks up right where “All In” left off. Carrie and Anson are speeding through the streets of Budapest Moscow Budapow. In this opening shot, their car is the only one on the bridge, adding to the feeling of just how on their own they are, without diplomatic cover, as they try to distract Yevgeny long enough to get Simone on that plane.

The arrangement in this shot!! Everyone whose face is visible is serving so much face. Simone is like, “don’t look at me.” Bennet (with facial hair!) is like, “are you fucking kidding me?” Doxie (with some pretty great side eye) is like, “I am NOT getting stuck in Budapow.” And Ms. Pink Scarf is like, “What am I doing here again? What is my job?” You and us both, Pink Scarf. You and us both.

Let’s give a full round of snaps to Sandy this season. She brought the sassy realness and Russian know-how the whole dang time. This show needs all the female energy it can get and this shot of her pulling out the chair for Clint’s “time out” is incredible. We’re not sure if she’ll be back for season eight, but if she won’t, we will miss her so.

Both Carrie and Anson know what’s at stake in this mission but in this moment, it’s Carrie who has to convince Anson how far she can and will go. We hate to say it, but the moment of recognition shared here between them screams “America First” when Quinn tells Carrie to get in the car and stay down. If seven seasons of Homeland have taught us one thing, it’s that these people all follow the same code: Get in. Get down. Shut up. Mission over self.

IJLTP.

We will hand it to the Homeland props department for getting the birthday right on Simone’s fake Carrie Mathison passport (it’s April 5, 1979). But!! Her middle name is spelled Anne, not Ann.

Simone spent a lot of time obscuring her face from the Russian officials in that car, but this glimpse of her expression after she asks Saul if he’s really going to leave Carrie--the Carrie who CLIMBED A FUCKING ROOF LIKE TWENTY MINUTES AGO TO GET TO SIMONE--in Budapow. That is a pursed lip and evil eye if we ever saw ‘em.

...And, of course, the guilt is written all over his face.

We are CACKLING at the dude in the white jacket in the background. We are not sure if he is just a really bad extra or some random stranger who saw Claire Danes in a Budapest train station and needed to share else he was met with a chorus of “pics or it didn’t happen” from his friends.

Sara and Doxie have the same birthday (November 4), which further solidifies that he is her forever man and the best Carrie Angel of them all.

We talked about the strong “America First” vibes above and the whole sequence of Carrie running through the train station is giving us heavy “The Smile” vibes, too. After seven seasons, it’s difficult for some moments not to feel like explicit callbacks from earlier episodes. After all, maybe looking at a mirror in a crowded marketplace is just Carrie’s favorite American spy woman move. But this shot, and Carrie’s smile later, are so specific that we think the homage is intentional.

IJLTP, II.

Real talk though, you really get a sense of the loneliness of the office here, as Beau faces away, back to the camera, surrounded by those heavy curtains.

Lesli Linka Glatter is a choreographer by training and she’s talked before about the diligent preparation she does before directing a Homeland episode. In sequences like these--filmed, acted, and edited with such specific clarity--that training and preparation come through loud and clear. Every shot has a purpose and we’re exposed to all angles of the action. It really is like a dance.

Here, the slow reveal of Yevgeny coming around the corner ratchets up the stakes as Carrie waits, a sitting duck in the locked room.

And here’s our duck. What’s so great about thrilling and suspenseful action sequences like this is the human moments they’re contrasted with. We can see the fear in her face as she contemplates whether to go down in a blaze of glory. She’s not made of steel. She may only have seconds left to live. She may be a hero but she is not a superhero.

Yevgeny delivers a BudaPOW (sorry, we couldn’t resist) with his punch to Carrie, but her moment of defeat is quickly transformed into one of triumph with the news that Saul and his “package” have achieved lift-off.

This smile, guys. Damn. Claire Danes is in a class all her own.

Delirious, glorious laughter. When was the last time we saw Carrie laugh?

It doesn’t last long, of course. The first rule of Homeland is that if Carrie smiles, shit’s about to get fucked up. “At least she had this moment,” we all whisper quietly to ourselves.

The shots of Saul looking down from his window at the city of Budapow--Carrie in it God knows where, the proverbial needle in the haystack--are powerful. He has left her there. And now he has to get her back.

We love this shot of everyone arrayed out like this, watching Simone’s testimony in The Room Where It Happened. Though we would like to point out that it’s hard to take Bennet seriously without facial hair. Dude, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere. Get on it! (Also there are so many VESTS this season! We count two in this shot alone.)

IJLTP, III.

This is the sequence of shots after Keane says she’ll do everything she can to get Carrie back. There was some chatter about going to Anson first (looking pensive), then Saul (looking sorrowful), and finally Max, who looks the most doubtful and suspect of them all (and, of course, almost hidden behind the others in the back). Sara actually thinks closing with Max is the most powerful. He’s been by Carrie’s side, through thick and thin, all seven seasons of this show. And after the trauma of losing Quinn last season, it’s easy to see how history may be replaying itself for him, this time in agonizing slow-motion.

So many “Pilot” vibes. This show loves playing with reversals and bookends, and having Carrie be the prisoner now is one of the most stinging of them all.

Sara would just like to say that she even looks beautiful in a Russian prison.

The book Carrie’s reading here is called Where Avon into Severn Flows, which is actually a short story by the American writer Harold Frederic and part of his book The Deserter and Other Stories: A Book of Two Wars.

Here is the opening paragraph of the story:

“A boy of fifteen, clad in doublet and hose of plain cloth dyed a sober brown, sat alone at one end of a broad, vaulted room, before a writing table. The strong, clear light which covered him and his work fell through an open window, arched at the top and piercing a stone wall of almost a yard's thickness. Similar openings to the right and left of him marked with bars of light a dozen other places along the extended, shelf-like table, where writers had now finished their day's labor, and, departing, had left covered horns of ink and cleansed utensils behind them. But the boy's task lagged behind fulfilment, and mocked him.”

It’s easy to see the parallels. Carrie is held in a Russian prison, also dressed in plain, ill-fitting clothes. She sits in a broad, vaulted room with a plain writing table nearby. Carrie might have won the battle, getting Simone back to the United States, but here in this cell, her success must feel fleeting and the irony of her current circumstance mocking.

Some major “There’s Something Else Going On” vibes here. (Sorry, we’re just gonna point out all our vibes.)

We’re just gonna call this pose from Costa Ronin the Yevgeny Lean (#IJustLikeHowHeLeans). On a more serious note, some credit needs to be given to Ronin, who brought Yevgeny to life and made him feel like a fully lived-in person. His habit of leaning back, feet propped out before him, is just one small example, but it’s representative of the care and attention he put into crafting such a three-dimensional portrait of one of the most interesting villains in the series’ history.

IJLTP, IV. 

And that IJLTP shot of Carrie, alone in that Russian prison with the stakes (i.e., her mental health) now clearly defined, is followed by the rather astounding hero’s welcome that awaits Keane back in the West Wing. This reminds Sara of those tunnels that sports teams would form after a game for everyone to run through. And now Sara wishes Keane had run through the tunnel, high-fiving everyone.

It’s Tie Color Time! Note that Beau is now back to the blue tie, having resumed his position as Vice President.

Talk about sweet karma. The scene between Paley and Keane is remarkable for a few reasons. First, Paley does all the talking. Keane doesn’t even give him the respect that comes with a response. He lowers himself to his knees, literally begging for her mercy.

Keane is often shot from below, highlighting her stance and power. But here, it’s a point-of-view shot. We see what Paley sees: this woman, whom Saul once claimed could not “rise above her own vindictiveness,” closing in on him, a bird of prey who’s finally made her catch. And then she spits in his face.

The Washington Monument, which sits due east of the Reflecting Pool, adds great dramatic effect to this beautifully shot (and scored) moment after Keane leaves her meeting with Paley. Despite the monument’s great size, in these shots its height matches Keane’s, which is likely intentional.

As the monument was being completed. Joseph R. Chandler, a Freemason and member of the House of Representatives said:

“No more Washingtons shall come in our time ... But his virtues are stamped on the heart of mankind. He who is great in the battlefield looks upward to the generalship of Washington. He who grows wise in counsel feels that he is imitating Washington. He who can resign power against the wishes of a people, has in his eye the bright example of Washington.”  

As she drives back through the DC streets at night one last time as President, she’s clearly at a crossroads. History has its eyes on her. (We will also continue to make ALL the Hamilton references.)

We’re not sure if this moment was scripted or if it was a choice by Claire in the moment. Either way, what’s happening? If she praying? Thanking God? Carrie’s relationship with religion and atonement has been basically nonexistent since the show devoted attention to it in season five. We wonder if, like Brody before her, she may be discovering--or rediscovering, as it were--it while in captivity, a salve for her inevitable isolation.

A few things to note from this headstone:

It’s the tenth anniversary of Andrew’s death.

Are we really meant to believe Keane is old enough to have had a kid in 1979? Elizabeth Marvel was born in 1969, which means she’s playing at least ten years older than she actually is. Sara does not buy this, but whatever.

Andrew is born mere weeks before Carrie, which in hindsight kind of shifts the relationship between Keane and Carrie in season six. Carrie really could be Keane’s daughter, and if Carrie indeed did see her in some small part as a mother figure, it frames her conflict with Saul last season--and the battle for Carrie’s loyalty--in an even sharper light.

This is just a gorgeous light, the rows of headstones filling the bottom half of the screen and the large, overgrown tree framing Keane in the top half. It’s her figurative “moment alone in the shade” (figurative because she’s not really in the shade, but y’all catch our drift).

Again, it was impossible to properly capture the moment when Carrie congratulates Aleksandr through anything other than a gif. The quiver in her voice, her attempt at a forced smile. After this moment, the lighting in the room shifts--she is literally forced to see the light, as the direness of her circumstances are fully revealed.

This is the last time we see Carrie before the “seven months later” coda, so now’s as good a time as any to talk about the truly tremendous work she did this season.

From the opening episode, Claire took us on the tenuous, tumultuous journey of Carrie’s war with her own mind and the battles waged within. Every episode, every moment was brought to life with exacting precision. Sometimes we loved her, and sometimes we hated her, but Claire’s commitment to every moment never wavered, whether it was seducing Dante, having nightmarish visions of her bloodied daughter, or inching her way across that GRU roof.

The throughline of this season of Carrie’s mental health makes this moment and the final scene land with even more crushing weight than they otherwise would. When Carrie experiences a breakdown so harrowing and frightening, she goes to extreme lengths to restore her own sanity. In the last three episodes of the season, we see just how invaluable that sanity is--her mind is both her greatest asset and greatest liability.

Carrie knows here what’s about to happen. She stares, eyes wide open, almost as if she’s glimpsing into the future at what lies before her. There’s no safety net this time, no pills or ECT to pull her back or hit the reset button. But for as much as she knows that she’ll lose her mind (in every sense of the word, it turns out), there is also great uncertainty, looking into “the bottom of a black hole with no walls.”

Something we find super interesting about this sequence is just how many perspectives LLG gives us of Keane’s speech, whether it’s Wellington’s from inside the Oval, Saul in his office, or Yevgeny in Budapow. Again, LLG’s choreography background comes shining through. For almost the entire speech, we see her presidency--and what turns out to be its final moments--through everyone’s lens except her own.

LLG doesn’t shoot Keane center-frame, without some extra filter of a screen, until the very end of the scene, after the speech is over. Keane talks earlier about wanting to speak directly to the American people, from the heart, but what we actually get is everyone looking at screens, at the filtered version of this woman and her office, a metaphor if ever there was one for her short-lived presidency.

As her speech (which, like Washington’s Farewell Address, focuses on the need to not let political parties and divisions tear apart the country) nears its end, we do see Keane center-frame. But, again, it’s a shot of her center-frame on the screen, and her appearance is somehow altered and filtered.

(A quick note about her wardrobe: Keane starts the day grieving for her son at Arlington, and she keeps on the same black clothing during her speech, a signal of the impending end of her presidency. The dangling earrings are also an interesting choice, and an unusual one for Keane, who usually wears studs or conservative-looking hoops. Like Carrie in “Species Jump,” this is as close as she’ll get to “letting her hair down,” and the unconventional jewelry choice conveys the peace she’s found with her decision.)

And now the lights come down on Keane and her presidency, in every sense of the word.

The dynamics of this scene remind Sara of the end of “The Choice,” when Saul sees Carrie in that hall of dead bodies after thinking she’d died in the explosion. They shared a moment of recognition at the end of that scene, standing in stark contrast to what unfolds here.

Here’s our first good shot of Carrie, and there’s a lot to take in. The swollen face and unkempt hair are startling, to say the least. Under her bulky black coat she’s wearing white (you can see a peak of her shirt here but her pants--not visible in this shot--are also white), indicating she’s been in an asylum.

The season opened with Carrie running on a treadmill, athletic and strong, the buzzy chords of jazz blaring in our ears. It ends with our heroine on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. She’s feeble and unsteady, running away from the Russian guards and straight past Saul. We hear jazz again, but it’s slower and somehow weightier.

As Saul gently brushes the hair from her face and looks into her eyes, calling her name, she is seemingly unable to recognize him. Her eyes dart from side to side, up and down, but his remain steady on her, and we can see (and share) the concern and devastation etched on his face.

She’s searching, and so is he.

I’m glad you liked it :’) that’s honestly just how I perceive you!!

I’m doing alright! I’ve been spending most of my summer holiday helping my family move houses, so that’s been a bit stressful, but it’s over now, so I can slowly get back into a good routine!

other than that…. I can’t think of anything *very* interesting that’s happened LOL! oh, but I did want to ask if you had any song suggestions for a john green girl vibe? you know, like manic pixie dream girl type beat. I was talking about it with my friend and he wanted me to make him a playlist based on that haha!

it was so sweet :( i know i’m gonna think about it for s long time:((( and ooo, i’m glad that’s gone well, hopefully you’ll have a day to relax after all of that stress!!

oh! is this the same friend who has the condition we talked ab before?? as for the song suggestions?? hmmmm, to me, john green and maniac pixie girl give off two different vibes that almost intersect but not really, if that makes sense?? these are all the songs i could think of that may fall in between or on one of those spectrums!! some are loud and some aren’t but i think all of them are really nice!! if you need more lmk!!

john green vibes

anything by clinton kane or lizzy mcalpine

guess i’m grown album. whole thing or dancing in the street, all because of you, for life, and twenty-two and some change if yoy want specifics

great one by jessie reyez

everything has its place by young mister

i hear your song, sweetness by george taylor

forever by the lonely biscuits

let it all out(10:05) by coin

better in college by robert delong ft. ashe

i wish you love by laufey

kerosene by anson seabra

busbeat, eight, or did something change? by charlie burg

heartbeat by better love

norway by the brummies

love & war in your twenties by jordy searcy

pixie girl vibes:

IH8EVERY1 by sarah barrios

letter to my ex or has been by girli

amnesia by mod sun

(intermission bc i dropped the package of powder for my ramen into the bowl twice :/)

say my name by prince of eden

special by charlotte sands

forget me too by machine gun kelly

crash and burn by maggie lindemann

celebrate by isaac dunbar

Frankie Ennui Suburban Lawns

  When I first discovered your band I heard Talking Heads and Devo in your sound instantly. Is that the sort of thing you were listening to at the time?

Absolutely. I think several band members went and saw one of Devo’s earliest, if not their earliest, L.A. performance and came back raving about it. I am still the proud possessor of Devo’s first single, in the very cool cover it came in, Mongoloid backed with Jocko Homo. All of us were fans of the Talking Heads too, of course. Eno, Iggy Pop, Television, Richard Hell, and lots of other new wavers or punk rockers were also on my personal play list at the time

Which clubs did you play, and with which bands?

Well, we played all over the place here in the L.A. area. The Masque, The Whiskey a Go Go, The Hong Kong Cafe, Madame Wong’s (both of them), The Roxy, The Country Club, Club 88, the Cuckoo’s Nest, etc. A lot of our early shows were thrown at our own studio in Long Beach. We’d charge $1 for each band that was playing and usually had two guests bands. The ones I remember off hand were The Plugz, The Minutemen, The Brainiacs, The Alley Cats and The Suburbs (friends of Su’s from Minneapolis)

I think we played the Masque couple of times, with groups like The Bags. The first such gig might have been under the band name Art Attack or Fabulons (which we later changed to Suburban Lawns). On one of those occasions, The Ramones were in attendance and later that night we went and saw The Ramones at the Whiskey

We played with nearly all of the local groups in those early days. Beyond the groups already mentioned, we played with The Dickies, X, The Germs, Black Flag, Geza X, Human Hands, The Reactionaries, Fear, The Vandals and a ton of other local great bands

We played quite a few opening gigs for Oingo Boingo (including a show at the Whiskey when they were still the Mystic Knights Of The Oingo Boingo). Danny Elfman was a big fan of Su Tissue. We also opened for Oingo Boingo at the John Anson Ford Theater and the Universal Studios Amphitheater and did at least a couple Halloween gigs with them at Cal Arts

Later, when we were with IRS Records, we opened for U2 at the Santa Monica Civic, opened for the Clash at the Sacramento Auditorium and played with other fairly big names like Siouxsie and the Banshees, 999 and Bow Wow Wow

What a unique vibe. All the bands were great. I think Vex (Billy) had some connection with Tex and her Horseheads for a while there. The OC scene was happening too, but the details, these many years later, escape me

And you played Magic Mountain..

Magic Mountain was probably our biggest (and best paying) headline gig. Great facility, loads of enthusiastic fans and we got to go to the front of any ride line that we liked

KROQ was a supporter of the band, and Rodney particularly, and you were on SNL. Did you think at that point you were going to have a career with SL?

Rodney and all the folks there at KROQ were great. Rodney loved Su too

Doing a video with director Jonathan Demme for Saturday Night Live was a real highlight. What a down to earth and nice guy Jonathan is. He later put one of my songs (with a band called Electric Sheep) in one of his movies, Something Wild (in which Su appeared)

Yeah, we had a recording contract on a label that had lots of top flight bands (the Go Gos, REM, etc.) and we were on T.V., we were making a little money and we were optimistic about the future but…

How did the band write?

Initially, I weaseled my way into the group that eventually (after Su came on board) became the Suburban Lawns by jamming with the other guys and offering up some lyrics for some of their music. At first, most of the music was written by Billy (Vex Billingsgate) Ranson, our bass player (and also a singer) and John McBurney, our lead guitar player, and I would contribute lyrics. So, at least initially, John and or Billy would come up with a riff or two and I would then try to write lyrics to match. That was how Gidget Goes To Hell was written: Billy wrote those great riffs and I added the words. Su added her unique vocal styling. Other songs, like Janitor, were created when John and Billy came up with the music, I wrote most of the lyrics and then Su added the infamous “Oh my genitals, I’m a janitor” tagline. Eventually, even Chuck “Roast” Rodriguez, our drummer, started contributing music, as in Mom and Dad and God, where he wrote the music and I added the words. By the time we did the Baby EP, however, we were collaborating less. The best stuff, in my opinion, was created by way of our collaboration

Do you have any favourites? I really like Protection. And Not Allowed and Mom and Dad and God..

My favorites are probably Green Eyes and My Boyfriend, but I love them all. Protection is a favorite of mine too

You wrote the lyrics to Janitor after some conversation you overheard between Su and a friend, is that right?

No. Although on Wikipedia (and elsewhere) it has been written that I overheard a conversation between Su Tissue and Brian Smith where the “Oh my genitals! I’m a janitor!” originated and that such conversation inspired me to write the lyrics, that story is somewhat backwards. The music and all of the lyrics except “Oh, my genitals! I’m a janitor!” were already written when Su Tissue added those lyrics (which lyrics really made the song, in my opinion). For good or bad, I’m generally pretty literal in my lyric writing (as opposed to poetical) and I’m not shy about using bad puns

Su was definitely more of a poet than I have ever dreamed of being. The lyrics, except for Su’s contribution, are pretty straightforward science-nerd stuff about all things explosive. Su’s addition, whatever the source (and I have no reason to doubt what Brian Smith has apparently written about how Su came up with that addition), gave the song a poetical spin that added the dimension it needed to make it interesting. That’s exactly why, in my opinion, our best songs were those that were written collaboratively

Was the Baby EP the last thing you recorded together?

Sadly, yes

After SL split, you formed the Lawns. Was that going to be a direct continuation of SL, with new band members, or was there a change in musical direction?

Actually, I think (despite what you may have read on the Internet) that Vex (Billy) was not part of that effort. I think it was Chuck, John, a great (now deceased) friend named Tom Corey (of The Fibonaccis) and yours truly that tried to keep things going. Su and Vex went their own way. But it wasn’t anywhere close to the same thing without them. That band, The Lawns, eventually fell apart and/or morphed into the Electric Sheep, where we had David Kendrick (from Sparks and later, Devo) drumming and a friend of mine named Gloria Dawson, singing. We were trying to get into more of a hybrid thing, mixing R&B with punk, but it didn’t catch on for us

Do you think perhaps you were a couple years too early, and with MTV a household name you might have been bigger?

Probably. MTV was around (barely) and we made at least one video (Janitor) other than the video that was on SNL (Gidget), but it was tough to get airplay in those days. We began a video for Mom and Dad and God but it was never completed.

  The Tea Party. A fascinatingly ill-informed, emotionally-stunted and easily-led group of middle American folk. All supporting the very people who are destroying them. Talk about “asleep at the wheel.” Is America more divided now than you can ever remember?

Yes, unfortunately I think it is, although ironically it seems nearly certain that we are going to end up with two relatively moderate politicians running for the presidency in November, Obama and Romney. No thanks to the Tea Party, however. The “I’m willing to drive the country off a cliff unless I get my way on spending cuts, but don’t tax the rich” attitude of the Tea Party People is disturbing and especially so where the economy is already a mess. Not that the U.S. Government doesn’t waste a lot of money, however, because it does. Not sure how the U.S. became the world’s policeman and why war seems to be the answer to every international dispute, but I’m pretty sure it has a lot to do with money. We need, at least to some extent, to get the money out of our politics, but our Supreme Court apparently differs with me on that one

What you said about supporting the people who are destroying them is, in my opinion, accurate. Why so many in the middle class support low taxes on the wealthy is difficult to understand. Maybe its an aspirational thing. Its puzzling and frustrating

What did you do after music?

I worked in computers for a while and then went to grad school to become a teacher. I taught history and social studies at a high school in Santa Ana for about a week and half before quitting and going to work for an attorney friend as a receptionist. Eventually, I went to law school and have been an attorney here in Newport Beach for about the past 20 years

But I have never stopped playing music and writing songs. After Electric Sheep broke up, I started playing with some old friends from junior high school and am still playing with those guys (John Bitterly, Mark Handley and, later, Rick McDermott) to this day. Our band is called Johnny Mark and the Ricks (for obvious reasons). We play all originals. Our theory is that if we keep writing songs, eventually we’ll come up with something good. One of our most recent songs is called “”T Party People” in which I attempt to channel James Brown and Sarah Palin at the same time. It’s not easy. We can be checked out atjohnnymarkandthericks.com or on facebook, etc. Our next gig is on Cinco de Mayo, Saturday, May 5, 2012, at DiPiazza’s in Long Beach at 8:00 p.m. Any encouragement received will be appreciated, but not necessarily good for us

My good friend, Billy (Vex), has, in recent years, been playing with former Suburban Lawns, John and Chuck. More about Billy and the others can be learned at www.myspace.com/pulsatormusic. Enjoy!

  You channel James Brown and Sarah Palin at the same time? Maybe something like: “You can see Russia, hit me nah!… From my hou..hou…house-ah! Good god, ain’t it funky nah! YAAAAAAY!!”   I can’t recommend the Suburban Lawns album highly enough; if you’re into art rock, and 80s New Wave, or if you like the B52s, Nina Hagen, Lene Lovich and/or the Flying Lizards, you’ll probably love Suburban Lawns too

Thanks Frankie  

An Architect’s Reworking Of Sir Roy Grounds’ Former Balmain Home

An Architect’s Reworking Of Sir Roy Grounds’ Former Balmain Home

Architecture

by Amelia Barnes

Sahara Cushion by Greg Natale. Gubi Collar pendant light from Cult. Banquet upholstery by Atelier Furniture. Acacia Rug (Galapagos) by Armadillo and Co.. Cesca Vintage Cantilever Chairs available at @retrofurnitureamigo. Sculpture Counterbalance No.27 by Odette Ireland available at Curatorial and Co. Roger McLay Kone chairs. ‘Macleay’ Cushion by Greg Natale. Artwork on banquet is ‘Poke’ by Stefania Reynolds. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

Built in furniture was designed to maximise the home’s narrow plan. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

The house wraps around a wild internal courtyard which can be viewed from all three levels through extensive glazing. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

‘The Flume’ side table available at Blu Dot. Sculpture available at Planet Furniture. Acacia Rug (Galapagos) by Armadillo and co. Table sculpture: ‘Intersction’ by Kate Banazi available at Curatorial and Co. Ming’s Heat arm chair from Cult. ‘Flume’ round coffee table available at Blu Dot. Wasirir 321 Cushion from Missoni Home. Spence and Lyda Joaquim Side Table by Tacchini available at Stylecraft. Plateau side table available at Blu Dot. Marble bowl by Greg Natale. Aquarius cushion by Greg Natale. Lampe de Marseille available at Cult. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

Pinks, caramels and chocolatey browns make up the warm, rich colour palette. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

The house opens up to the world outside via sliding glass doors. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

Ceramic bowl form Planet Furniture. Large resin horn by Dinosaur Designs. Fruit bowl by Dinosaur Designs. Ceiling lights by Est Lighting and Tovo Lighting. 750 black high stools by Grazia and Co. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

Blonde timber, charcoal ceilings and grey concrete create a dramatic interplay between light and dark in the kitchen. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

Andora – Terrazo Rug by Armadillo and Co. Theia P by Marset at Est Lighting. Muse Velvet Ottoman by Sarah Ellison. Everett side plate available at Planet Furniture. Black and white vases by Alexandra Standen at Chalk Horse Gallery. Tidal chair cushion High Back by Tait. Outdoor Volley Chair, Frame Colour Dark Bronze Electro, Rope Colour Grey by Tait Outdoor. Volley Dining Table Mesh, Frame Colour Dark Bronze Electro by Tait Outdoor. ‘Muse’ velvet couch by Sarah Ellison. Windhoek #160 Pouf by MISSONI HOME at Spence and Lyda. Coffee table book from Oscar & Friends. Resin bold pearl vase by Dinosaur Designs. Terracotta Vase by Garden life. Wasirir 321 Cushion by Missoni Home from Spence and Lyda. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

LA vibes with these washed white surfaces, smooth concrete, and low plush furniture. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

Pockets of landscaped garden intervene the architecture at every opportunity, here overshadowed by an enormous existing tree! Photo – Anson Smart.

Perfect sunny light filters through the top sitting room. Pillow cases by Cultiver. Coffee table books available at Oscar & Friends. High vase available at Dinosaur Designs. Ceiling light by Est Lighting. Modernist armchair with fur hide by Great Dane. Plateau coffee table available at Blu Dot. Throw available at Saarde. Smaller vase available from Greg Natale. Upholstery by Atelier Furniture. Large Resin ‘Beetle Bowl’ by Dinosaur Designs. ‘Sequence’ round table available at Cult. Summer Swivel chair by Grazia & co. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

The view from the pool! Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

The view out over the bay catches neighbouring palms. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

Pillow cases by Cultiver. Bedside table by Hans J. Wegner. Bedside at Great Dane. Voltra by Est Lighting. Armchair Dark by Great. ‘Drane’ pillow cases by Cultiver. ‘Kadir’ linen cushion by Saarde. Olive flat sheet by Cultiver. King fit sheet by Cultiver. Vintage vase available at Rudi Rocket. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

Blonde timber and magenta tiles characterise the main bathroom. Inax Yuki tiles by Artedomus. Terrazzo tiles from Onsite. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

A view down the corridor showcases the feast of muted colours and textures in the house. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

A shower wedge! Inax Yuki tiles by Artedomus. Terrazzo tiles from Onsite.Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

Luxe vibes in this rich red bathroom. The tiles are offset by the skylight and pastel terrazzo. Inax Yuki tiles by Artedomus. Terrazzo tiles from Onsite. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

The views across Parramatta River feel close enough to touch. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

The pool juts out to the edge of the property, almost hanging over the water! Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

Perfect Sydney light bounces off the house and the water. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

The street frontage betrays none of the delihts that lie beyond! Custom brass sign made by Simon Bethune at 175 Design. Photo – Anson Smart. Styling – Stanwix Studios

Director of Fox Johnston architects, Conrad Johnston, knew this 1970s Balmain home was not fit for his young family… yet. The property had a predominantly south-facing aspect and only two bedrooms, but the general location and architectural challenge of reinvigorating such a compelling, historically signficant home proved too intriguing for Conrad to pass up.

‘The qualities of the house which attracted us were the materiality, the large glazed sections, the siting and the rawness of the expression,’ he says. ‘The primary sense of the house was texture and natural light – these are the two ingredients which are key to residential architecture in my view.’ 

The house was originally designed by architect Stuart Whitelaw for one of Australia’s most renowned architects, Sir Roy Grounds, and his wife Lady Alice Bettine Grounds.

Built at a 45 degree angle to the street, the home zig-zags along its southern boundary to accommodate existing side-step trees and sandstone outcrops. Its three-storey concrete pillar and slab construction was infilled with floor-to-ceiling fixed glass. 

Except for a 1980s garage addition, the original design remained largely intact at the time of Conrad’s purchasing. That being said, the timber cladding and windows were beyond repair, and much of the original interior had been covered up and painted. 

There was also the issue of an uninsulated roof, and the house having no openable windows to the south and west facades, resulting in extreme heat gain in summer and loss in winter.

Given the home’s heritage significance, a series of clever yet sympathetic updates were devised to overcome these issues and improve liveability.

Conrad’s interventions focused on restoring the superstructure; better connecting the home to the landscape; converting lower-ground space (previously housing an air-conditioning plant) into two bedrooms; replacing the ‘80s garage with a new structure and apartment for multigenerational living; and softening the geometry of the original grid design. 

The pool is a new addition offering prime views across Parramatta River, while the internal courtyard was planted with rainforest species. 

The most challenging element of this project was enlarging the feel of the rigid 3.4 metre wide house, which has been achieved via a new ground floor plane. ‘The other device was to build in all the furniture and to treat the fit out as one would fit out a narrow boat.  The furniture is built in and pushed to the perimeter, creating the illusion of extra space and maximising the narrow floor plate,’ says Conrad. 

While from the outset the home appears relatively unchanged, Conrad says the impact of the changes for his family have been dramatic.

‘It has been transformed from a two-bedroom home that was very difficult to live into a four-bedroom (with an additional two-bedroom granny flat) family home that connects with the landscape, performs very well environmentally, and offers a robust and textural home that will be suitable for the extended family into the future.’ 

This post is part of CoinDesk’s 2019 Year in Review, a collection of 100 op-eds, interviews and takes on the state of blockchain and the world. Leah Callon-Butler is the director of Emfarsis, a consulting firm focused on the role of technology in advancing economic development in Asia.There he was, belting out Fats Waller jazz vibes like it was nobody’s business: Roger Wilkins, the former president of the Financial Action Task Force (FATF). We’d just completed a practice run for the next day’s V20 Summit, and while the rest of us were exhausted and ravenous, sniffing out dinner options, Wilkins relished the opportunity to jump behind the keys of a lonely baby grand at the farthest end of the Grand Ballroom at the Hilton Osaka. Leaving my run-sheet behind, I sidled up to catch an impromptu performance from the man who once steered international standards in the fight against money laundering, terrorist financing and the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction.“I usually play Bach or Chopin,” Wilkins said, wrapping up his medley.The next morning, more than 100 of the world’s most formidable figures in crypto compliance assembled to unpack one of the most pivotal regulatory developments in the history of our fledgling industry. Held June 28-29, 2019 in parallel to the G20 Leaders’ Summit in Osaka, Japan, the V20 Summit was a chance for the industry to respond to a highly controversial new set of recommendations handed down by the FATF. Some saw it as an opportunity to legitimize crypto and bring virtual assets into the mainstream financial system; others feared an assault against our community’s most fundamental values of privacy and decentralization. CoinDesk’s Marc Hochstein told me via Twitter DM he thought it might be a bigger story than Facebook’s recently announced Libra. Another journalist suggested it might be crypto’s Bretton Woods moment.Recommendation 16 was the one causing all the ruckus. As per the FATF’s new guidance, Virtual Asset Service Providers (VASPs) would be required to identify the sender and recipient on either side of a crypto transaction. Known as the “Travel Rule” due to the fact that data that must “travel” along with a traditional wire transfer, international banks and financial institutions had been forced to comply with these standards since the mid-1990s, giving law enforcement greater transparency and traceability to combat financial crime. And while the vast majority of major crypto exchanges already have Know Your Customer (KYC) policies in place for remitters, including beneficiaries opened up a Pandora’s Box of complexity. In any case, the FATF delivered their directives in Osaka, giving G20 member countries a tight 12 months to implement the guidelines, with a review set for June 2020. Not-so-draconian“It would have been nice for these FATF recommendations to be more accommodating to the sector but time constraints effectively ruled that out,” said Siân Jones, co-founder of xReg Consulting. “The major nations of the world got together to set that timetable and the FATF policy group had very little time to develop something more tailored to virtual assets.”Jones, a self-described poacher-turned-gamekeeper-turned-poacher, has worked both sides of the regulatory fence and has watched the whole thing unfold over the past few years. She said the resulting guidelines were not as draconian as they might have been, were it not for the technical experts in that policy group – herself included – that were able to provide some balance. During her technical overview on the implications of the FATF guidance, Jones congratulated VASPs at the V20 on being included in the global financial system. She said this might come with some benefits, such as making it easier for VASPs to get bank accounts, but it would also come with responsibilities. The critical piece now was to find the most appropriate strategies to help the industry develop and innovate in ways that still meet public-policy objectives to thwart money-launderers and terrorists. “This is a rapidly evolving landscape where regulators and industry just have to catch up with the new reality,” said Jones, who was also instrumental in enacting blockchain-friendly legislation in Gibraltar. Her presentation to the V20 opened with a warning slide: Wake up! Smell the coffee!“The V20 was a great effort to bring the world of crypto together in one room with FATF on the sidelines of the G20,” said Bénédicte Nolens, advisor to Circle, who said that even though crypto-assets have presented a great challenge to traditional finance, they have also opened up opportunities that will continue to evolve in the years ahead. “We have to keep in mind that the goal of Anti-Money Laundering (AML) regulation is not to impose unnecessary process, but rather to demand process, so that the most nefarious activity in the world is starved for funding,” Nolens said. Examples of this could be slavery and the drug trade as well as terrorist activity.A month prior, Nolens was at the FATF Private Sector Consultative Forum in Vienna, invited to present on Recommendation 16. There, she reiterated the importance of a globally-coordinated and consistent approach to implementing the new regulations in G20 member countries, to avoid a situation where firms might try to sidestep the new rules via regulatory arbitrage or through moving jurisdiction, known as “island hopping.” She also explained how there was currently no crypto equivalent to the International Bank Account Number (IBAN) system, which is what banks use to achieve compliance with the Travel Rule, so VASPs would be forced to come up with something new. Further, Nolens observed that coordination would be tricky, given the still very nascent, albeit global nature, of the crypto industry. “It’s true the cryptocurrency sector isn’t very used to talking to regulators, and it can be very hard and very time consuming to build a constructive relationship between companies and their regulators,” said FATF Senior Policy Analyst Tom Neylan, who showed up alongside Wilkins, ready for a grilling from top VASP execs from Circle, Coinbase, Coincheck, bitFlyer, Kraken, BitMEX, Huobi, OKCoin, Bitfinex, Bithumb, Crypto.com, BITPoint, Liquid and more. “But it’s a critical step we have to go through if cryptocurrencies are going to become a real part of peoples’ daily lives.” At the V20, Neylan told attendees that regulation can be a good thing for industry; it’s not something we should fear. “The fear was that these new rules would force VASPs out of business,” said Ronald M. Tucker, convener of the V20 and founder of the Australian crypto exchange Bit Trade. “This risked driving the industry back underground and into dark markets, which, ironically, would make it even more difficult for law enforcers and regulators to do their job.”Tucker was quick to realize the true gravity of the FATF intervention, as he dealt with a similarly existential threat back in 2014, when Australia was grappling with the issue of double taxation. The rules meant consumers were taxed at the time of buying crypto, and again later, when they used it to purchase items subject to local goods and services tax.Many exchanges thought that the new rules wouldn’t apply to them.To tackle the problem, the blockchain community needed clear direction and leadership, and at the time, there was no such vehicle. This moved Tucker to form the Australian Digital Currency Association (ADCA), with the goal of coordinating key stakeholders to develop a robust governance framework to organize all sectors. ADCA was to become a unified voice for the burgeoning industry, ensuring commercial operators were aligned, media were informed and government was educated. Recently rebranded to Blockchain Australia, today the organization is recognized globally as a leader in regulatory engagement and best practice. And so, with the FATF rules pending implementation, and a lack of global coordination taking place, a sense of déjà vu gave Tucker the impetus to elevate ADCA’s proven formula to a global stage. A community effortIt was just after CoinDesk’s Consensus 2019 in New York City when Tucker mobilized the core V20 organizing team – including myself, Anson Zeall of ACCESS Singapore, Philippe Le Saux of GMI Post, Nathan Smale of Emfarsis Consulting and the futurist Mark Pesce, well-known for his podcast, The Next Billion Seconds, who championed the role of Summit Chair. We had less than seven weeks to pull the whole thing together, and at the beginning, our outreach efforts were met with some skepticism. For the VASPs that had actually heard about the FATF issue (most hadn’t, so that required a considerable education effort on our part), many thought that the new rules wouldn’t apply to them. Or, they thought their time and money would be better spent lobbying against the FATF.“We spent a lot of time rallying the community to stop petitioning against the Travel Rule and start collaborating toward a compliance solution of the industry’s own design,” said Teana Baker-Taylor, executive director of Global Digital Finance (GDF), an industry membership body that sets out standards and best practices for blockchain and digital assets. GDF members knew the FATF’s hasty timeline and global coordination requirements posed a significant risk to the industry, especially given the additional operational and commercial costs of compliance. But it was also the perfect imperative to finally get the crypto compliance clique working together on a globally interoperable solution. As such, GDF was one of the first to lend its support to Blockchain Australia and ACCESS Singapore to help get the V20 off the ground.“As a community, we talk about mainstreaming and mass-scale adoption, but it’s often inside our own echo chamber,” said Baker-Taylor, who was named Blockchain Leader of the Year at the 2019 Women in Tech Awards. “If we want the future to reflect our ideals, we’ve got to take some responsibility and step up to educate policymakers, as opposed to resisting them.”When a trio of policymakers pledged their support to the V20 – namely ex-FATF President Wilkins, Japanese Congressman Naokazu Takemoto and Taiwanese Congressman Jason Hsu – we observed a ripple effect throughout the industry, with huge momentum building among the VASPs. Behind the scenes, we were working like mad to rejig the agenda for Day 2 to accommodate Hsu’s schedule. Hellbent on speaking at the V20, he’d have to fly straight to Osaka from Washington, D.C., where he’d been participating in the U.S. Department of State’s International Visitor Leadership Program and other key think-tanks discussing major industry developments, such as Libra. “I felt I needed to be there to support industry and act as a bridge between them and the policymakers and regulators,” said Hsu, who was nicknamed “The Crypto Congressman” by Vitalik Buterin in 2018. Coming from a background in entrepreneurship, Hsu is a rare breed of politician, uninhibited by the usual glacier-pace of government innovation. “If we want to go long on this industry, we need to regulate, but the current government are still scratching their heads on how best to do it,” said Hsu. He believes FATF will ultimately shed a positive light on the crypto industry, which still struggles to shake its associations with the darknet.In the absence of clear guidance, Hsu said it’s critical for industry players to lay down the guardrails. “This industry is prone to security infringement and the crypto operators have to look that truth square in the eyes,” said Hsu, with a nod to the hacks, data leaks and other security hazards making headlines every other day. “If we set the bar high and pave the way for the industry to be formalised, we will see less and less misunderstandings about the true qualities of crypto from the public as well as governments. The VASPs must bring their determination to the table to fix this.”The site for the V20 Summit was apt. After all, Japan is home to the two biggest crypto exchange hacks in history: Mt Gox and Coincheck. These hefty security breaches ultimately led to Japan’s proactive stance on VASP regulation, becoming the only nation in the world to grant legislative status to its self-regulatory body, the Japan Virtual Currency Exchange Association (JVCEA). The Financial Services Agency (FSA) was the regulatory body behind the establishment of JVCEA in October 2018. Both JVCEA and Japan’s Ministry of Finance were on the speaker lineup for the V20, together with representatives from public sectors including FSA and the Australian Government agency, AUSTRAC. “The impact of hacking tends to be bigger than that of ordinary crypto-related money laundering transactions in terms of amount,” said Katsuya Toshihiko, who was the president of Coincheck when he attended the V20. The target of a major hack in January 2018, Coincheck had 500 million NEM tokens stolen by hackers, worth an eye-watering USD $530 million at the time. He says that “painful” experience is what triggered Coincheck’s deep sense of social responsibility and seriousness about responding appropriately to the FATF’s new guidance.Yuzo Kano, representative director of the Japan Blockchain Association and co-founder of bitFlyer, an exchange, says it was Japan’s troubled history that motivated it to put its security protection and compliance standards under the microscope. “Today, Japan is two to three years ahead of the rest of the world when it comes to self-regulation,” Kano said, demonstrating how painful circumstances can lead to innovation, provided we embrace the discomfort and look for growth opportunities. Kano spoke at the V20 about the contributions JBA has made, including its strong backing for the establishment of JVCEA as well as a Cryptoassets Governance Task Force aimed at developing safety standards for consumer protection. Drawing insights from Japan’s story, V20 participants broke into groups to workshop a blueprint for the requirements of a technical solution that could satisfy the FATF (rather than prescribing any specific product, brand or service provider). A key outcome of these discussions was that the industry needed a governing body to represent its interests at an international level. As such, the International Digital Asset Exchange Association (IDAXA) was established as a vehicle to continue proactive engagement with the FATF.Since the V20, more organizations have joined the initiative, and now, IDAXA represents the national blockchain associations of Australia, Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Korea, Switzerland and JBA and JVCEA from Japan. Work to doTo arrive at something that satisfies the FATF Recommendations while still being workable for business, a sustained industry-led effort is necessary to ensure the blockchain community’s ethos of decentralization is upheld and consumer privacy is protected above all. The V20 was an early catalyst but the work is far from done. Most VASPs are still coming to grips with how to comply and how much it’s going to cost, especially all those smaller firms that are struggling to navigate a jumble of regulatory regimes and requirements with less staff and less resources. Meanwhile, a slew of exchanges have already delisted privacy coins such as Monero and Zcash due to regulatory pressure. Despite the near-term hurdles, it’s widely believed that the crypto sector’s strong tech focus can actually help achieve FATF’s goals to stymie financial fugitives. Further, industry frontrunners in the race to compliance believe that FATF compliance and data privacy needn’t be mutually exclusive.In any case, with the big review due in June 2020, there is a very real need to demonstrate progress and a number of groups around the world are working tirelessly to ensure we have the necessary languages, protocols and products to make sense of this new chapter. So by the time the V20 convenes again, at the G20 Leaders’ Summit in Riyadh, November 2020, we could be another step closer to seeing crypto go mainstream. Disclosure Read More The leader in blockchain news, CoinDesk is a media outlet that strives for the highest journalistic standards and abides by a strict set of editorial policies. CoinDesk is an independent operating subsidiary of Digital Currency Group, which invests in cryptocurrencies and blockchain startups.

http://m.globalone.com.np/2020/01/inside-osaka-conference-where-crypto.html

“All In” | Directed by Alex Graves

The episode opens as Saul, Carrie, and the team arrive from Moscow. In an interesting reversal, they are the ones being watched now--by Mirov and Yevgeny. We really like this scene because we finally get to know the full names of Carrie’s Angels, but it also provides some key insight into how Yevgeny views Carrie. He doesn’t view her as an idiot, even as he turned her (unwittingly) against her own country. As Yevgeny stares intensely on the screen in front of him, we understand he’s telling the truth. She is a worthy adversary for him, but now they’re on his turf.

It’s been nearly a full season since we’ve seen Dar, and the editing, cinematography, and overall directing take great care to make the reveal worth it. Director of Photography Giorgio Scali shoots Dar from afar, behind Paley’s coat, and it’s not until after Dar says his first line, his voice low and gravelly, that we actually see his face.

Dar is shot from below--much as he has been in prior seasons, especially season six--conveying a power and authority that only now stands in stark contrast to his current position. As he says, he’s been stuck in prison for the last six months.

We also want to note Dar’s black cap here, which matches closely the ones Saul and Carrie wear later in the episode. Is this an intentional costuming choice? Is Dar on his way out, back into the game? Or is it just a coincidence?

This isn’t totally an “IJLTP” pic, although this shot is really freaking cool. This episode has several “maze-like” shots, and this is the first. Here we gaze down the long, twisty spiral of barbed wire lining the fence surrounding the prison.

Look at how neatly those guns fit into those suitcases. Guess space is at a premium and guns are more important than clean underwear?

The meeting room in the Moscow hotel stands out for a few reasons. First, it’s almost the reverse of the Roosevelt room, where Keane met with her entire cabinet last week. Instead of red walls, it has white. Instead of hardwood flooring, we have the ornate red carpeting. The three windows letting in light and rounded ceilings suggest inclusion and a softening of formality. Here as in Keane’s meeting last week, it’s mostly for show, and the tension between the two sides is palpable.

We discussed this briefly in the podcast, but Carrie doesn’t say a single word in the episode until about 15 minutes in (it goes without saying how unusual that is), instead opting to let Saul do the talking. She sits, observes, listens, and synthesizes information.

And here we have Simone, similarly silent in this early scene with Yevgeny, letting him do all the talking as Carrie does with Saul. This show has made a great effort to show the similarities between Yevgeny and Carrie, but after Carrie and Simone’s literal identity switch at the end of this episode, the parallels between these two capable and smart as hell women are even more interesting.

Fucking Janet! She’s literally in the driver’s seat. Fucking Janet’s all about survival now, and nothing’s going to stop her--not even treason. (Her relationship with Paley reminds us of that old adage, “behind every successful man is a strong woman.” Maybe she wanted to crush Clint because he referred to her as Paley’s “assistant.”)

We have to give props to Dylan Baker in this scene (he’s been great all season actually). He stares straight ahead, his light blue eyes almost see-through, unable to look at Janet’s treasonous meeting with the Russian ambassador. Is he too cowardly to stop her? Trying to maintain some form of deniability? Not wanting to get his hands dirty? All of the above? (Sara’s comment here: “lulz… what a snake.”)

These are just incredible shots. They look like something out of a James Bond film. What was the budget for this episode? The production values are incredible.

We’ve talked a lot over the season about Yevgeny’s casual, almost lackadaisical conversational manner, and it’s no different in his first interaction with Carrie. As he lists off the various American aggressions toward Russia over the last thirty years, Carrie rises, losing her temper. Was he trying to provoke her? His smirk as she glares at him certainly suggests so. (Quick aside, and it’s difficult to capture via screenshot, but we love how Carrie mimics the same pattern of numbering off the various perceived aggressions of the other side, proof she’ll meet him blow for blow.)

Here’s the second maze-like shot of the episode, this one as Anson, Bennet, and the rest of the team ascend the steps of Yevgeny’s dacha.

We also talked on this week’s podcast about how closely this episode paralleled “Halfway to a Donut” in season four, also directed by Alex Graves. This stare-down (again, a terse look from Carrie, and a smirk from Yevgeny) after the blown op matches the one Carrie exchanges with the ISI members as Saul’s rescue mission collapsed before their eyes.

After making a big deal about his tie color last episode (starting with red and then switching to blue), we’re paying a bit more attention to Beau’s tie choices this episode. As the news that the Supreme Court has ruled against Keane 5-4 comes in, he’s wearing a blue and red striped tie, possibly an indicator that he’s caught between both sides (red would be the presidential side, as Wellington here is wearing a red tie; last episode he starts with red and then switches to blue, an indicator of his overall arc moving from Keane’s side to Paley’s).

IJLTP. Face to face, head to head.

IJLTP, part II. Also, kudos to the visual effects team because the Budapest skyline definitely does not look like that.

Here are Carrie and Saul, both in black knit caps like Dar at the beginning of the episode, as Carrie tries to convince Saul that their operation can still be a success. It’s reminiscent of their rooftop conversation in “Beirut Is Back,” when Carrie has to convince Saul that despite recent events and evidence, she can be trusted. How many times have they actually had this conversation over the years?

This line of black SUVs speeding down the streets of Moscow is reminiscent of season four, too. But again… with all these aerial shots and huge action sequences, what was this episode’s budget? We’re still amazed.  

We’ve not really talked much about the Simone/Yevgeny relationship, but the writers deserve a lot of props for the twist of making them lovers. It complicates the story ten-fold in ways similar to the Carrie/Brody romance. We can’t really say their relationship is on the same level, but this shot, with their bodies in shadow and light coming in through the window, is ship-worthy.

Note the portrait of Abraham Lincoln on the left. The use of presidential portraits this season has seemed intentional. Lincoln was of course the president during the American Civil War and is often credited with saving the country. Gail thinks that ultimately this is what Beau will do.

BACK TO TIE COLOR. It’s the next day, and Beau’s tie is now red after assuming the presidency.

Carrie on the roof! More “Beirut Is Back” vibes.

Carrie inching her way across the exterior of the GRU building is the climax of the episode and the sequence is painstakingly, stressfully slow (as it should be). Graves and Scali shoot the sequence in wide, medium, and extreme close-up shots. We get both the macro scale of what she’s attempting and the human scale: the fear and anxiety in her eyes, her fingers wrapped tightly around the building. She is quite literally on the edge.

Spidey!Carrie! Sorry, this crouched pose is fucking hilarious and Claire Danes is a capital-Q Queen forever.

Sigh… how amazing does Carrie’s hair look here?? Sara will go all into it on Things Carrie Wore This Week. Maybe we should all start scaling buildings to get that perfect ~windswept look.

Simone is wearing white in this scene, Carrie’s in grey, and Yevgeny’s in black. So literal.

IJLTP.

Here is the last of the maze-like shots, yet another staircase (or exit) leading out from Mirov’s suite. Unlike the aerial shot of the wide stairs leading to Yevgeny’s dacha, here we see a tighter shot and the space between the flights is tiny. The window is closing to get Simone out of Russia and finding her may be like finding a needle in a haystack.

This is some great face work from Costa Ronin. The betrayal in his eyes and the barely-contained anger in his face. Damn…

The tried and true, good ol’ switcheroo! Carrie gives Anson a slight smile, high on the triumph of persuading Simone to get the hell out of there. (So we know that everything’s gonna go to shit in the finale.)

Simone, meanwhile, crouched in the backseat of the car (sorry, but “America First” parallels) looks skyward. There’s an eerie calm to her expression (that also doesn’t bode well) but more than anything she looks like a deer in the headlights. Almost all of episodes this season have concluded with Carrie, closing in on her face, trying to locate her psychologically. Here, we have a look at her doppelgänger. 

She’s left behind the man she loves, the man who would have killed her had she hesitated a second longer. It’s a strange reality to have to come to terms with--in Carrie’s words, it’s the deal they make in the work they do--and it’s dark out here, in the cold.