#had an 11 hour day today and came back home and my bookshelf isnt magically put together and im having a tantrum
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been thinking of that post about john darnielle saying that sometimes you just keep living after your expiration date or whatever he actually said a lot lately
#negative#idk why im so tired lately#everything is a mess and i desperately need order in like. absolutely every area of my life#and sometimes i really resent myself for making it this far#its so weird#we moved back to an area i loved living in a couple of years ago and i remember being so happy when we lived here#and im like. genuinely happy right now too! but#it feels weird. like all of those moments of happiness i could trap in amber#and to look at them and then look at my life right now... is starkly different#most of the nostalgia is just because im looking through the amber right now but its still hard to call that feeling the same sort of#feeling i have right now#time is so weird.#tbh i think its mostly that i havent been able to stop thinking about how we're probably going to end up moving again in 11 months and its#making me want to kill myself so. that's probably what it is#idk#anyway if you made it to the end of this long ramble i apologize#had an 11 hour day today and came back home and my bookshelf isnt magically put together and im having a tantrum
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