Back from vacation!

NW Oregon

1: View from Vista House (Corbette, Multnomah County) looking into Washington State

2-4: Manzanita Beach at sunset

5: Overlook of Tillamook Coast & Bay

6-7: Latourell Falls & Bridal Veil Falls, Columbia River Gorge, ft. the husband ♡_♡

8: View of Mt. Hood from the plane

hey so remember like last year when i was re-reading misadventures and fixing typos? (well, i say that, but it was just an excuse to re-read it and write some absolutely absurd commentary on it...) i found old notes in my phone from january with even more so guess i may as well post it because people seemed to find it funny at the time, it’s basically just The Misadventures of Aish Realizing Things though

[yeah so here’s the original notes i’m not even gonna change anything even though lots of Lore has happened in the show and we Know things now, you just get to see what january aish typed]

ok well let’s go then chapters 31-35 oh god

oh yeah the ML Blackout! I remember that

hm it’s occurring to me maaaaaybe I should post a bit of a warning on this chapter. like “yes this starts off stupid and cracky and fluffy but takes a complete 180 in the middle and you will end up sobbing.”

or maybe I should put that as a disclaimer on the whole fic cause it’s one hell of a ride

THE AROACE SCIENCE JOURNAL YESSSSSSS THAT COMES BACK LATER

yeah the reason why the early parts of this chapter are very lighthearted is honestly because the fic was getting a bit too bleak, I needed something cheerful, so paper planes and arm wrestles it was

wait... isn’t this just that scene from Anansi??? where like Nora challenges Nino to an arm wrestle but then he wins because Someone Else Nearby Did A Thing

also this is Peak characterization, damn Aish, you rly outdone yourself, congration

any time I drop the word “inkling” into a fic it is always 100% a splatoon reference

MAX WOW TONE DOWN THE GAY

heh... BI-ceps...

oh my godddd Max trying to play off his ogling as “ah yes I am scientifically studying Kim’s arm muscles ofc, it’s science I swear” is SO frickin funny I’m already losing it

Alix: “scientifically speaking I’m hot therefore you have to lose this arm wrestle” hshdhdghshskkjkdhshs

^literally the kind of nonsense every single teen I know spouts irl

including me when I was a teen, I just said things

(I still just say things)

you can’t bring up the sports bra thing goddammit, I agree it’s cheating because it has the power to one-hit kill anyone in the vicinity

I love how Max thinks his crush on Kim is “under control” while like. visibly swooning over him

OH MY GOD THE PILLOWS SHHDJDHDHDHSKHS

OKAY SO LIKE I was supposed to put the thing about Kim snogging a pillow in chapter 20 but I forgot or something and then I just had to get it in somehow, oh it kills me dead just thinking about it, I’m dying, I’m dead

and the fact that he admits to it as well, holy moly

KIM

K I M

THAT’S GAY

OH WOW

this is the moment when Alix’s Kimax shipper heart was suddenly feeling validated like “omg wait Kim DOES like Max??? like for real??????”

awwwww Kim, Max doesn’t have those kind of superpowers, you just have a crush on him that’s all <3

THE SKATEBOARDING SNEK!!!!!!!!!!!!

“What the heck is that?” “My snake.” DYINGGGG

Kim trying to figure out if the snake is sitting or standing is a whole mood

ohhhhhhhh my gosh poor Alix trying so damn hard to subtly ask Kim if he likes Max and Kim’s just. so DUMB he doesn’t even get it no matter how obvious she is

she’s even trying to pull out those stupid amatonormative “so is he MORE than a friend???” questions just to get this idiot to figure it out because she knows allo-romos are Like That and he still doesn’t get it,,

[future aish says: the word is alloro, past aish. it’s alloro]

AND SO NOW SHE ASSUMES THEY’RE NOT INTO EACH OTHER BECAUSE SHE THINKS EVEN KIM CAN’T BE THAT STUPID

YOU UNDERESTIMATE HIS STUPIDITY

oh no... oh NO.... the letter.... here we go....

btw yes Gabriel had Kim’s grandad assassinated, it was indeed his doing

...isn’t this lowkey the plot of The Lion King?

or Long Live The Queen

hmmm let’s just say in the sequel poor Kim really will have to deal with the stresses of ruling a country >:D

NO MY POOR SON HAVING A BREAKDOWN, I WANT TO HUG HIM

(also can I just say like... this chapter is actually well-written for the most part? I’m actually kinda impressed)

unfortunately I know the feeling of wanting, needing to return home, but it fills you with dread... *hugs Kim forever*

Kim crying all over Max both hurts me and sort of heals me because Max is so sweet and comforting about it ohhh my heeeaaart

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

THIS IS LOWKEY A LOVE CONFESSION I SWEAR, IT’S SO CUTE

chapter 32 being called “Un chat noir” is kinda dumb af but also it just so happened that I accidentally had the chapter called “Coccinelle” be chapter 64, aka exactly double of 32, so that was kinda neat

Plagggggg!!!!!!!!!!

and Wayhem lol, I think I’ve already mentioned how originally this noble was just some random irrelevant unnamed OC until I decided way later it’s gay stalker fanboy

oh yeah that’s how the nobility recognize the royalty, I forgot lol

(also nobles from countries with widespread newspress or tv will recognize them from news reports and stuff I guess)

the fact that Plagg just hates Wayhem is funny to me for some reason

MISADVENTURES

HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY THREW IN THE ACTUAL WORD

except it was in reference to Adrien... let’s just say that The Misadventures of Imperial Prince Adrien may or may not make an appearance in the sequel >:D

...the Adrienette is literally just in this fic so that people would read it, ngl

hhhhhhhhhhhh okay it’s true Alix is an aro idiot who doesn’t know anything about romance but for once she’s RIGHT, Kim IS in love with Max, but she assumes she’s wrong hshgshdjhdnsnsh

oh my god noooo timeline twin go away and stop giving me nightmares

I still love how they hate each other, that’s some top-notch self-hatred right there and I need to get on their level

[future aish note: no past self!! be nice to yourself!! you are a cool bean!! own it!!]

YOU FOOL... EVERY CLASSMATE WOULD TAKE A SWORD TO THE HAND FOR ALIX, WHY WOULDN’T THEY

ỳïķèš,,,

honestly I probably should stop being lazy and actually go back to like idk chapter 8 and put in an actual monopoly game (it had to have been before the oracle sessions in ch10 at least)

fun fact!! I have indeed very nearly had a fist fight over the last dark blue card in a monopoly game!! also I blatantly cheated, and the main opponent locked someone else (an 8 year old btw) in a cupboard... it was Wild(TM)

me and my irl friend actually came up with the butterfly thing when we were at the cinema once, she made up this random angry gardener OC who stepped on a butterfly after being fired or something lol

I mentioned Rose liking unicorns!!!! before Captain Hardrock!!!!!!!

shdhdhkshs Alix is such a moody emo brat in this fic I adore it

“The only real difference between you and me is one dead butterfly.” goddammit that’s the creepiest fucking thing, I’m genuinely shaking

technically it’s a butterfly’s fault for ALL the timelines which means that we’re all one butterfly away from death at any moment

cheerful stuff

no, no, you’re not trying to block it out on purpose... I’M trying to block it out on purpose bc I’m highkey shamelessly projecting

god I wish my timeline twin would manifest in the astral plane and punch me in the arm too

“Count yourself lucky you’re not a pillow, idiot.” in-context this is contender for Most Cursed Line I Have Ever Written In My Life

and yes Alix was about to straight-up swear

Mylène rollerskating is extremely blessed and good

pfffffffff Max you coward, I stand on swivel chairs all the time

*me, chanting at the spider in my room* KIMAX! KIMAX! KIMAX!

Kim literally making every excuse to not put Max down is amazing honestly

Kim and Max’s origins story is sooooooooooo cute wtf

THIS IS SO BLESSED OH MY HEART

HE’S JUST STANDING THERE CUDDLING HIM I’M

DECEASED

I,,,, swear to god,,,,,,,

so like. I know it’s now canon in the show that Kim really is as oblivious to his feelings as I wrote him in this. but MY GOD. IT’S FRIGGIN PAINFUL

KIM YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH MAX, FULL HOMO, THAT’S WHY YOU’RE FEELING LIKE THIS, IT’S NOT THAT COMPLICATED DAMMIT

oh yeah I wrote the kimax bits rly early and my old url was @queenkubdel haha

aight now a no-kimax chapter, but at least it’s a goodun

there’s that catradora-esque weather girls frenemyship again

Kim having a full-on breakdown when he finds out Alix’s hair isn’t really pink is actually really blessed, no lemme explain

so this universe has magic, right?? so he thinks to himself that the reason his friend has pink hair is because she must be some sort of anime protagonist or Really Important and Cool or something, and it never even occurred to him to doubt her

in other words he’s betrayed because he WANTED HIS FRIEND TO BE A COOL SHONEN HERO

which is both hilarious AND very sweet

...oh wait I’ve scrolled down and it turns out I literally explained all that in the fic itself hhdgjdvzjdjhs

and yeah honestly I can’t blame poor Kim for taking it so badly, he’s still reeling from his grandfather’s assassination so it’s natural his emotions are not exactly Regulated atm

actually when are his emotions ever regulated

1703-1899 hm... might change that since the fic takes place in 1957-1960 so even though it’s a commissioned history of the empire it was before Gabriel was even born so like why would he even care lmao

“Great Western Ocean” so pretentious, just say the Atlantic omg

I’ve been playing way too much civ because the first thing that came to mind was that everyone’s denounced Agreste due to the high warmongering penalties of the industrial/modern eras

Chloé and Kim is one hell of a brotp okay I still firmly believe that

also Chloé still loves her rococo fashion, she’s just toned it down enough that she can fit through doors and it’s not quite as “in your face” towards commoners

listen I know in the show Kim still liked Chloé for a while after Dark Cupid but in this he got over her quicker because his crush on her wasn’t as deep in the first place

Kim literally tells Chloé he gave the brooch to Max and yet STILL doesn’t realize he likes him!!! KIM!!!!!!!!!!

Chlodemption arc yesssssssss

also she’s a lesbeean

(ye Pollen will be in the sequel don’t you worry)

god I’m so proud of her <3

it feels believable too, so I’m proud of myself!! (I’m trying to be nice to myself before next chapter where I will no doubt roast myself so badly I’ll never recover)

outdated laws about marriage... jeez was that cursed foreshadowing or what

YES IT’S IVAN, I LOVE THIS BOY, HE’S SO GRUMPY AND ANGRY ALL THE TIME AND HE HATES KIM

...actually wait this is sibling culture

I literally speak like this to my brother and he’s my best friend so in conclusion Ivan thinks of Kim as an annoying brother

Jalil why are you a historian. just go be a psychologist and stop your sister accidentally hecking up the country

omg the Antarctica thing, I’m just imagining Jalil in the freezing cold with a massive coat on and getting chased by penguins

I love how the timeline twin’s plan was “escape school, force Adrien to get a venomous pet, then abandon him immediately in the middle of nowhere” and later on it turns out she skipped step two and just ditched him lmaoooooo

being so ace that your brain goes straight to “death and murder” before anything else is the biggest mood, I speak from experience

Jalil knows... he had that conversation with Kim in chapter 20... he Knows

“a bit unsupportive” um that is an extreme understatement good grief he was more savage than ME

RISE OF THE KIMAX SHIPPERS

oh don’t worry the venom death still haunts me too

chapter I Hate You... “A rather rotten winter party” well it should have been named A RATHER ROTTEN CHAPTER DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPOSSIBLE THIS ONE WAS TO WRITE OMG I HATE WRITING MYSELF INTO CORNERS

you see I had to have a motive for the timeline twin to explain things properly so that I could put in a really really dumb pun later but that meant I had to unfortunately suffer many allergic reactions again

[future aish note: forgot to mention, i also needed a motive for kim to stop eating chocolate forever, so i had to Curse this chapter as a sacrifice in order to save his life later on]

alright, alright, here we go, I’ll stop procrastinating and just get this over with

oh yeah it’s chapters like these that the fic’s rated T lol

the Adrikim friendship is indeed important... for later... like, plot-relevant levels of important... life-saving levels...

“some event” is the Peace Ball actually and I can’t wait because that chapter’s actually a good one

KIM BRAGGING ABOUT KISSING ADRIEN LAST YEAR IS SO FUCKING FUNNY OH MY GOD I’M LOSING MY MIND???

like last year he was LITERALLY LIKE “oh boo hoo I cannot tell anyone about this because Adrien is Ã Bøyê” and now he’s just like “yeah I kissed a hot boy and what about it???”

to be fair he is on an extreme sugar rush from all the chocolate he ate, which will... be a plot point in just a moment...

PILLOW GIRLFRIEND

I’m the amused nobles, they are me

oh my god Kim we get it you want to kiss someone (Max) and you don’t want to outright say it

holy shit do any of these kids ever think before they speak??? not to sound like the timeline twin or anything but alix... you could have avoided this if you’d bothered to use your one (1) brain cell

[future aish note: bold of me to assume that alix has a brain cell]

Kim wants to now fight his PARALLEL SELF oh my god, get on my level Kim, I want to fight my actual self like right now so there

stfu all of you, this is poisoning my liver

Max is the biggest mood and at least mildly sensible thank god, but he really shouldn’t have left those two alone for even a second

I AGREE PLATONIC LOVE IS UNDERRATED

the chair... the fucking c h a i r... I’m already lying down but I need to lie down harder just to process the absurdity of this

(I think I was gonna have Alix fall off the chair just because that’s hilarious but I forgot)

look I can’t take heartrate seriously but if you ever write it then you are legally required to put in kissing contests or you’re doing it wrong

fudgin Adrienette kiss offscreen and irrelevant

DJWIFI!!! AND ACTUAL PROPER DJWIFI!!!! I was sick of seeing it treated as some kind of pair-the-spares beta couple so I flipped the script and had them literally call out that trope while treating Adrienette as irrelevant instead, which is also why the sequel will be extremely djwifi-centric

“super swanky bae” please stop misusing commoner slang I’m begging you

THERE’S THE PLOT POINT I WAS TALKING ABOUT

Theo was right here, he witnessed with his own eyes how much chocolate Kim ate, so he knows for a fact that if you give Kim chocolate he will scarf it down without a second thought... so hypothetically if one sent him poisoned chocolates... dyou see where I’m going with this...

oh and Theo still has like every job btw

Alya!!!! no!!!!! hire him again!!!!!!!! then he won’t send the chocolates!!!!!!!!!! aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

there goes me hinting how alyadrininette is the ultimate ot4 again

...do I really wanna scroll down and keep going? no I don’t but I guess I gotta, and relive every one of my most embarrassing school sleepovers in the process

full offence to everyone bothering to read this but kissing sounds gross, actually

(for the record it was probably like... 10 seconds or something idk it was Not Long At All)

“probably not more than 5 minutes” omg I just said it was 10 seconds??? hmmm m okay like 20 seconds maaaybe, Kim just has no sense of time perception

neither do I based on my microwaving skills

SHIT THIS IS LITERALLY A SCHOOL SLEEPOVER

INNOCENT DUMBASS AROACE ASKING “what does that mean? what’s this? what’s that? it’s okay you can tell me :-)”

omg I forgot the snake was there ahshdhdkshfs I’m the snake, probably wants to launch itself out of the window so big mood

most of the fic so far had Alix being really aro so I was like damn... gotta make her really ace too

(if I ever bother writing the Kimdine AU then you actually get an aro character who isn’t ace, because we need more of them, but I won’t say who) (okay fine it’s Luka)

I tend not to be too British in my writing so as not to give the Americans heart attacks whenever they see someone referring to their mother as “mum” etc, but like... sometimes you just gotta throw in the word “snogging”

(I’m typing this out on my phone rn and it has exactly 69% battery, I hate this and also hate that I felt the need to mention that)

THE HOCKEY THING MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN BASED OFF A REAL LIFE THING. *SWEATS NERVOUSLY*

honestly I was soooooo tempted to actually write The Talk bit, it would have been the funniest thing ever, but I was also 99% sure I would have to change the rating to M (despite it not even remotely being smut lol, just a regular biology lesson) and there was no way I was doing that, pretty sure I pushed the T rating at some points as it is

[future aish: god i am still so tempted to write it. man, i’m tempted. it would be the funniest thing. but no... i have sworn not to write anything above a T rating so guess i won’t.]

YEAH THE THROWING UP THING TOO WAS DEFINITELY NOT BASED ON REAL LIFE OR ANYTHING *MORE NERVOUS SWEATING*

(it genuinely wasn’t a flowerpot though. it’s my life’s goal to throw up in a flowerpot and I still haven’t achieved it.)

all of this is an Ace Mood(TM)

also I love how elaborately I’ve worded this, like yeah idiot royal teenagers are too royal and posh to ever bother just saying the word “sex” like a normal person

to any 17 year old aces: you aren’t too young to know, I told myself that aggressively when I was 17 but now I’m 22 and I’m still just as ace as I always was sooooo yeah

I also hope I can wake up tomorrow and forget I read this trash

well tbh... it’s not total trash... it highkey reminds me of my school days, like, maybe that was subconscious or something... god who even knows

jeez if timeline twin slapped me in the face I’d just keel over and die from sheer terror, other than that that’s HILARIOUS

timeline twin: “YOU HAVE ONE (1) BRAIN CELL NOW P L E A S E CONSIDER USING IT”

fuckeninf hell listen,,, so when I was writing this chapter I didn’t know I was aro... I mean, I was kinda questioning it?? but all I knew was I was ace, and that me not knowing that as a teenager almost totally screwed me over because like

to be normal or to feel normal there’s things you do or say that you don’t want, and things you know would happen or whether you want something or not you’ll take it because you think you’re expected to, because otherwise you’ll have to confront yourself with the fact that something is wrong with you and you don’t know what or why or how to fix it

and being aro on top of that is misunderstanding how to navigate close friendships because of this fundamental fear that if you want to be close with someone then friendship can’t suffice, that how much you care about them doesn’t matter

and things I did or almost did, or had the chance to do and only stopped because (awfully enough) crippling anxiety which ironically saved me (let’s just say the dude turned out to be a creep)... yeah basically this is all a callback to that aroace teenager feel where you can’t help not being true to yourself because you don’t want to, because you don’t know what’s wrong or right, only what’s “normal” and the ache of knowing that you’re not, no matter how much you try

and I didn’t know I was aro while writing this but in hindsight it’s easy to see how that played into it too, and writing this definitely played a part in me realizing I’m aro and was somehow trying to work through some very pent-up feelings about friendship and closeness with people, as well as pent-up feelings about being ace and how that tied into everything too

...in short, do not phuck the pharaoh or you will get HOUSE ARRESTED and DIE

(jk jk she’ll just be awkward around you forever lol, and then SHE’LL get house arrested and die, because you’re not commoners so your actions actually have consequences you dumb idiots)

this entire thing is just a whole mood and lowkey my teenage years holy fuck holy fuck I hate that I’m only just realizing how bloody hard I was projecting

I literally read a post the other day about how unrequited love is only ever usually explored from the perspective of the person who’s in love, whereas aros are usually on the receiving end of it and it’s a tragedy in its own right that you might do things that wind up driving you apart because you can’t bring yourself to love them back but you can’t tell them because of the fear that it’ll push them away... and I gotta say, I totally nailed it 💪

...you know what I’ve changed my mind, chapter 34 is good actually, and now I need to make a time machine and go and hug my 17 year old self for living this, and then hug my 20 year old self for writing this, I’m sorry I was mean to this chapter it’s very relatable and I shouldn’t keep beating myself up over it

thinking makes me miserable too!! that’s why it’s optimistic nihilism only lads

impulse control, hmmm... someone who’s good for him, hmmmmmm... it’s almost like someone like that is right there and exists and is already in love with him 😏

so apparently timeline twin’s idea of “fixing her life” is burning all her bridges and then hecking off to the Kazakh wilderness for over a year

did Alix just... ask the snake if it’s aroace too???

I mean it definitely is, but...

UGH SNAKES DON’T BLINK, I’M STILL SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS

chapter 35, thank god, the title “Finally!” is very apt

(because I can finally change the music from Death Valley to something else lol)

oh poor Max, his heart goes on a real rollercoaster these few chapters doesn’t it? it’s okay buddy, in like 10 chapters you’ll get your man...

NO BUT SHE H A S FIGURED IT OUT!!! SORT OF!!!

I just misread “despite” as “despacito”, I’m going to bed and continuing this tomorrow dammit

alright I am now funky refreshed and ready to roll, let’s get this kimax party started

Max is angsting internally like “no one’s realized I like Kim :( well except Juleka but she’s a lesbian so she doesn’t count” ashgdjsghskk that mlm/wlw solidarity is holding out I see

YES ALIX YOU DO NEED TO TALK TO NATH MORE, THAT’S YOUR FREAKING BEST BUD IN THE SHOW MAY I REMIND YOU

this is all so Irony it’s murdering me dead

okay yeah I’m gonna be really honest and salty here for a second, this bit where Max is annoyed that Alix takes Nath more seriously as a contender than him was me being a bit salty over the fact that like... kimnath/tomato ketchup is a great rarepair but got so weirdly popular amongst people who didn’t seem to care about Max as a character at all despite how close he is with Kim in canon, and as a Max Stan it made me sad because he’s already not very appreciated in fandom

[future aish note: HE IS NOW BABEY!]

THERE IT IS

I WANT TO HUG MAX TOO, BLESS HIM

I also want to hug Alix because godddds I’ve been in that situation where if you were allowed to just TELL the idiots that they like each other then all their problems would be solved but noooo, you’re sworn to secrecy... *sigh*

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t change, ever...” me: *thinks about the sequel and cackles evilly while cracking my knuckles* well,,

A R O M A N T I C

listen it was VERY IMPORTANT to me that I actually put in all these actual words in the fic and made them relevant, like gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc (I think the only one I didn’t was trans, oops?? gotta remember that for the sequel, at least Nino IS trans in this even though I never said the word)

[future aish note: i feel like i didn’t say pan either, or nonbinary... more stuff for the sequel folks! i can’t put in everything but i may as well try!]

bc you see all these tv shows where a character is bi but they say they “don’t like labels” or a character with no love interest get suddenly paired up with someone random at the end... like NO I wanted to do the OPPOSITE of that bc people’s identities are IMPORTANT so I wanted to MAKE IT RELEVANT 💪

and even though I didn’t yet know here that I was aro and highkey projecting, there’s already a fair few fics dealing with asexuality but not aromanticism?? so I rly wanted to make the aro side of things important

almost relieved??? Max, you buffoon, she IS relieved, extremely

Malix friendship is good and severely underrated and I still haven’t forgiven myself for not putting more of it in this

“He was never eating chocolate again” HO-HO-HOLY SHIT THAT’S SOME FORESHADOWING RIGHT THERE

Rose is a distinguished bi who doesn’t realize Kim is a disaster bi

Kim oh my god you can’t just out Adrien “just about functional bi” Agreste like that

I love that Rose calls Kim a casanova even though he’s very much not... how many people are even into him over the course of the fic? Max, Adrien, it’s implied Marinette used to be, Lila is ambiguous, same with the lacrosse guy later, oh yeah Ondine highkey lmao along with 90% of the teenage population of Saharan Africa, Kim himself in about 2 chapters time...

Rose giving Kim the gay talk is so blessed omg I need more interaction between these two

“If you swung one way you were gay, if you swung the other way you were straight, more than one way made you bisexual, if you didn’t swing any way at all then you were probably just Alix...” I will literally NEVER be able to outdo this line, this is Peak

hmm I don’t think at any point in the fic Max says to Kim that he’s exclusively into boys... I guess he said it offscreen then lol, point is He’s Gay

OMG KIM, YOU FINALLY REALIZED WHAT THE NOSEBLEED SCENE MEANT, GOD BLESS YOU

this is like in Syren when he realizes the mermaid is Ondine and that she was trying to tell him she likes him... except this is the gay version of that

yeah Rose I really do need to get more sleep, that one was directed at me and I know it was

Kim being all like “fellas is it gay if you take off your shirt and a guy swoons at you 🤔🤔🤔”

no, no... Max is definitely a complete trainwreck at romance, just slightly less than you

god freaking dammit not the sports bra again,,, I s2g later in the fic all Ondine would have had to do is to show up in a sports bra and Kim would immediately go full ot3 mode no questions asked,,,,,,,, (I mean he does see her in a swimsuit but that’s not the same??? sports bras are in a different league okay shush)

psssssst!!! you should read heartbroken!!!! it’s a kimax fic and it’s so good!!!!! this was a lowkey shoutout!!!!!!!!

genuinely tho, even if Kim hadn’t liked Max too here, he’s being so sweet about it?? he’s worried about his poor friend’s emotional state and wishes he could have done better to help!! gahhhh their friendship/relationship is just So Blessèd

hsndhkdhdkshdh I only noticed it after finishing the fic and occasionally skimming back through, but so much of the time whenever Alix shows up Kim’s all like *ungrateful* “oh not you again” like WOW that’s one way to greet your friend?? mood tho

[future aish note: i did the exact opposite in No Romo, funnily enough! kim’s not in it much but whenever he sees alix he’s like “friend!!! friend!!!!!” and she’s just like -_- “oh it’s that guy again”]

he’s not even paying attention to her omg she’s trying to save the timeline here you idiot

POOR ALIX how frustrating,,, and also I’ve literally been there,,, the woes of being a wing-girl indeed

and now Kim wants to fight himself, why am I not surprised

aND YES HERE’S WHERE IT HITS HIM, THE EXACT FUCKING MOMENT

WHERE HE’S SUDDENLY LIKE “OH WAIT MAX’S LOVE FOR ME ISN’T UNREQUITED??? I LIKE HIM TOO HOLY SHIT????”

aaaaaaand he immediately asks the aro for love advice, why is he like this omg

gosh this is sooooo sweeeeeet

I did not let up, did I? just went ahead and made this as cheesy and cutesy and over the top as I could because It’s What Kimax Deserves

(there wasn’t rly much Kimax content yet in the fandom at this point so I had total free reign and went all-out with it)

sfjsgskdhs and there goes Alix getting her wing-efforts sidelined again

“I’m never asking out someone on a whim again. Or, uh, confessing that I like someone on a whim either.” so uh... you know how I said I’m considering making the sequel Kimaxdine? well if I do then uh. hm. this might change. because reasons.

I don’t know why I made nothing Alix ever says make sense but I’m glad I did because she’s so freaking funny

I swear I talk about Max’s eyes being “magnified in his glasses” multiple times in this fic, either that or I’m having serious deja vu

Kim’s so cute dammit!!! now that he knows he likes Max he’s just swooning over every little thing and it’s!!!! adorable!!!!!

(I wonder if this is how it was with Kimdine in the show? it does seem like Kim already liked her but just hadn’t noticed...)

huehuehuehue Kim later on you do indeed recklessly propose to Max on the spot... in like 18 chapters or so

also the fact that Kim thinks things through better when he’s around Max is just the total sweetest and also what Alix was basically trying to aim for

I love Kim showing off that he can pack all his stuff in half an hour like buddy, the porters can literally help you with that, you’re royalty remember

omg I’d forgotten I left a note here later for binge-readers!! being all like “drink water and eat food and go to sleep uwu”

lmao guess I’ll take my own advice then and leave it there for now

[future aish note: same, goodnight]

Chapter Twenty-Seven

A/N: It's been a while but here's chapter 27! I wrote this in a hurry so I apologize for any grammar/spelling mistakes. Don't hesitate to let me know what you think! :) Hopefully I'll be around more now! Thanks for reading!

Home was home, if nothing else. Lexy knew that when she stepped off the plane into her smaller city, noticing immediately a change in both the humidity and the atmosphere.

“Lexy!” She heard as soon as she made it to baggage claim. It was Deacon, and he was running for her at full force. She put her bag down in enough time to catch him and held him tight to her.

“Who are you here with?” She asked him when he let go of her.

“Granddaddy,” he said, pointing at the man who was holding Levi.

Lexy took her suitcase off the conveyer belt and walked over to where they were all standing. She took Levi from her father and smiled as he nuzzled himself into her neck.

“Hi Liza Belle,” she said softly to the little girl, whose hair was in plaits. Liza Belle responded by cuddling into her aunt. Together they walked to the old, beat up pick truck that now came complete with car seats for the two youngest.

Liza Belle and Deacon kept Lexy entertained the entire way home. As they passed field after field of beans and cotton, with the gentle sounds of country music in the background, Lexy couldn’t help but feel at peace. But she knew another conversation was soon coming and she wasn’t sure just how prepared she was for it.

**

An hour later the kids were all asleep, Deacon and Liza-Belle sharing Lexy’s room, Levi asleep in the crib. It was just past midnight and she sat across from her father in the kitchen that had been cleaned. It was the same kitchen she’d last seen Harry in as he was eating breakfast before they left for their flights.

“So what is going on?” Lexy asked.

Her father sighed and set down his pepsi can. He’d replaced the beer in the refrigerator with a variety of sodas. “Well, I have no idea where Chace is. Sara’s still there. Haven’t heard from her in weeks.”

Lexy frowned. “So who has custody of them?”

“Me.”

“But your job?”

Her father shrugged. Lexy was beginning to see just how he had been affected by all of this. She wished that her mother was there to see it. “I’m doing what I can. Your Uncle Billy watches the kids when I work.”

“So what do you plan to do? Until Sara gets it together?”

“I’m not sure she will. So I’ll just raise them the best I can.” Her father sighed. “I have a feeling this is my fault. I missed out on y’all growing up so this is God’s way of getting back at me.”

“Daddy, for what it’s worth, Sara did this to herself.”

Her father just shook his head. “Enough about her. How are you? How is Harry?”

“Good. We had some problems but worked them out.”

Her father took a sip of his drink and raised an eyebrow. “Did he do something?”

Lexy sighed, staring at the curtains above the window. She was surprised her father cared so much. “It was more my fault, I guess. When the press found out about me, they also found out about Sara. I was worried about the kids and Harry was very sympathetic. I just freaked out about it.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “Well, I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, but Harry called me right after you told him you didn’t want to be with him anymore. It was mostly him trying to make sure the kids were safe since you weren’t answering him. He really cared about them.”

Lexy frowned. “What did he do?”

“He just had some security around here. They don’t really know where we live but he had them check out Deacon’s school. He knows what he’s doing.”

Lexy wasn’t sure what to think. Mostly, she felt like even more of an idiot. “I think we’re okay now.”

“I gotta tell you this, Lex, when you first brought him here, I wasn’t so sure about him. He’s a lot older than you and I can’t say I was too fond of our first meeting.”

Lexy rolled her eyes. “You were drunk, Daddy.”

He frowned. “Well, yeah, but you know, growing up in this life, we don’t like the rich people. I didn’t like that he had them people protecting him. Especially since he said he was in the army. I wanted to know why he couldn’t protect himself. But I gotta tell you, after talking to him, I think he’s good for you.”

“So you don’t care about the age?”

Her father shrugged. “There are more important things to worry about. I think that you act older than you are and it’s really all up to what Harry thinks.”

“What do you think Momma would think?”

Her father inhaled. He tilted his head. “Well, I think she’d be proud of you. She was so proud of you, Lex. I hope you know that. She would be so mad at me when I was miss your award nights. I think she would see that Harry loves you and she would be so happy that you’ve found someone like him.”

“You think he loves me?”

He snorted. “Not sure what you kids are calling it these days, but yeah. I think that boy would do just about anything to make sure you’re happy.”

Lexy swallowed. “I wish Momma were here to meet him.”

“She’s here, baby. She’s always with you. You know that.” The tone of her father’s voice changed. It was tender and gentle and unlike anything she had heard since she was a young child. He cleared his throat. “I think that’s something your mother would worry about. You know as well as I do that we ain’t the smartest people here, but even we knew about what happened to his mother. And I gotta say, Lexy, he’ll protect you.”

His last sentence was still echoing in her head when she climbed into bed between Deacon and Liza-Belle. She wondered if what her father said was true and she wanted more than anything to call Harry and tell him. But the tiredness from her travel soon overtook her and she fell asleep to the sound of the children’s snores.

**

The five of them were standing outside the Southern Tennessee Correction Facility in the midday humidity. Lexy held Levi and Liza Belle’s hand in her free one. Deacon stood in front of her and her father, eyes on the man with the gun at the door.

Lexy had had a long conversation with him that morning about what was happening. Lexy hated her sister for the decisions she’d made, for not thinking of the children before she did what she did. Lexy only hoped that one day Deacon would understand, like she had, that life didn’t depend on your parents.

“You alright, Dekes?” She asked, letting go of Liza Belle’s hand to ruffle his hair.

“I wanna see Momma.”

Lexy nodded and shared a look with her father. “Let’s go then.”

Two metal detectors and five forms later, they were being led by a huge man dressed in a black uniform. He reminded Lexy of Harry’s PO Kevin. They finally came to a small room where the officer put in a code to the door. Then, the door opened and Levi cried out.

Sara was sat in a chair in an orange jumpsuit. Her hair was a mess but her face was clear. Levi ran to her and she picked him up, cuddling him and breathing in his scent. Liza Belle hid behind Lexy and Deacon crossed his arms.

“Hey baby,” Sara said softly to Deacon. “I love you.”

Deacon pursed his lips and looked away. He uncrossed his arms and balled his hands into fists. “Can we go now?” He asked his grandfather.

Lexy’s heart broke for the boy and she risked a glance at her sister to see that her eyes were filling with tears. “Dekes, you should say hey to your momma.”

“No,” he said, refusing to look at her. “She’s not my mom.”

“Baby, she is your mom.”

Deacon responded by opening the door and slamming it behind him. Lexy sighed, realizing she was the only one who could handle this situation and tried to transfer Liza Belle’s hand to her father’s. Liza Belle didn’t like that idea, clinging to Lexy’s hand instead.

And that was how she ended up with the two of them at a small ice cream shop that happened to be next door. The owner was way too cheery for the three of them and they sat at a table by the window. Deacon had a bowl of chocolate and Liza Belle had strawberry, simply because of the color.

“So,” Lexy said. “Don’t y’all wanna see your momma before we go home?”

“No,” Deacon answered. “I told you she’s not my mom.”

“Dekes—“

“She’s not. I don’t have a momma. Or a daddy.”

“Deacon, baby, that’s not how it works.” Lexy sighed, trying to come up with an answer on the spot that would satisfy him but not make the situation worse. “Remember that time last summer when we were at the park and you fell down and skinned your knee? And it hurt a lot?”

Deacon nodded, still pouting.

“But you’d been riding your bike for two whole years before that right?”

Deacon nodded again.

“Sometimes being a grown up is like that too. We fall off our bikes and sometimes we get really hurt. Sometimes we crash into people and hurt them too, but it doesn’t mean that we’ll never ride our bike again.”

Deacon frowned. “I don’t get it.”

Lexy sighed. “Okay. I think you should see your mom before we leave.”

“I told you—“

“I know, she’s not your mom.” Lexy rolled her eyes. “But you should see her before we leave, okay?”

She couldn’t help but notice how grown up Deacon seemed, how much older he seemed to be. She wondered if this was the cost of being away from home.

“Whatever,” Deacon said, pushing his ice cream away. But he agreed when she asked him again and the three headed back inside, hand in hand.

**

When Harry called her two hours later, Levi and Liza Belle had just gone down for a nap and Deacon was playing a video game. Lexy thanked God for the spontaneous call and closed the door to her room to answer it.

“Hey baby,” he said in greeting, making Lexy’s heart beat faster at the sound of it. She couldn’t believe she’d see him again so soon. “I just got home from work.”

“I just got home from prison.”

“Oh no, how was that?”

Lexy sighed and sunk to the floor. “Deacon took it very badly. He told me he doesn’t have a mom or a dad.”

Harry whistled. “Poor kid. How did Sara take that?”

“Not well. But it’s her fault. I find it difficult to reason with a seven-year-old when he’s completely right.”

“People make mistakes, Lexy. We have to forgive them and get over it.”

“I know,” she sighed. “But there are kids involved.”

“Yeah, and just like I was a kid when my parents did some fucked up things. And just like you were a kid when your parents did their fucked up things. All you can do is know that one day you won’t do the same fucked up things with your own children.”

“I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me either. Listen Lex, I’ve been thinking. I think you should your internship in Spain.”

Lexy frowned. “But it’s in Spain. And you’re in England.”

“I know, but I think it’s selfish of me to give you an internship just so you can be nearer to me. Spain isn’t that far, we could see each other every weekend. Plus, we’ll still have most of June together, right?”

“Harry, I can’t afford to travel every weekend.”

“I can,” he told her and by the tone of his voice she knew he was rolling his eyes. “It’s really not that expensive at all, Europe is very close. And to be quite honest, I’ll simply be enjoying the fact that we’ll be in the same time zone again. I’ve never found five hours quite so annoying before.”

Lexy laughed. Then she smiled. “My dad approves of you.”

“Really?”

“Everything is so different, Haz.”

“What do you mean?” She heard ruffling in the room and figured he was about to start dinner.

“My dad is different. He’s changed a lot. And this might sound stupid, but it makes me more sad than anything, because I wish my mom were here to see it. He told me that she’d be happy that I found you. And I know I told you that already but hearing it just made me feel so sad.”

“Hey,” he said softly. “You are the least stupid person I know. I understand. How are the kids?”

“Asking me not to leave. I feel so guilty, Harry. So, so guilty. Why should I get to go across the world when everything is like it is?”

“They’re not your responsibility, baby. You have to go out and do big things so that you can help them one day. You’re setting an example. One day, those kids, and all the other kids like them, are going to look at you and realize they can do big things no matter their life.”

“But for now?”

“For now there’s nothing you can do. No judge is going to give a twenty-one-year-old custody of three children. The only thing you can do is to keep making yourself better.”

“I just hate this.”

“I know. I wish I could make it better.”

Lexy took a deep breath. “I really am excited to see you.”

“Me too. And I wasn’t joking about the time difference. I’ll be so glad that you won’t wake me up at 5am anymore for your late night talks.”

Lexy felt a new wave of guilt at how supportive Harry was being, at how understanding he was of all of her fuck-ups. Even if he was joking. Then she begin to cry.

“Lexy?” He asked, clearly confused. “What’s wrong? I wasn’t being serious about the time difference. I’m not really bothered by it. Well, not really that bothered.”

“I just don’t deserve you,” she sobbed. “I’m an awful person.”

“Oh dear God,” he said. “Stop.”

“I was so awful this semester. I don’t know why you dealt with me.”

“Lexy—“

“You’re even getting shit for it too. Maybe—“

“If you suggest that we take a break again, I will fly to Tennessee right now. Lexy, I understand, okay? I understand why you reacted the way you did. I understand how difficult your life is. I understand that your thoughts come from a different place than mine. And it doesn’t matter that you make mistakes, because I make them too. We’ll figure this all out, okay?”

Lexy hiccupped. “I just feel like I’ve been making your life so stressful. I don’t even know why you like me.”

“What are you on about now?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say yes to dating you for months. I freaked out on you the night you told me, in that restaurant at Oxford, remember? I didn’t talk to you because of something you can’t even control. And the fact that there’s a time difference and that we’re literally across the world from each other doesn’t seem fair to you.”

“Yeah, the bloody time difference is fucking awful. That’s clearly why I should break up with you.”

“You see!”

Lexy was sure Harry was rolling his eyes again. “I’m not even sure I can remember everything you just said. But first off, you are twenty-one, and a hell of a lot more mature than I was at your age. You’re still figuring yourself out. Secondly, I can’t tell you why people are attracted to each other, it’s got something to do with science that’s too complex for me. But all of that doesn’t even matter because I’m in love with you, and everything that you fucking say and do.”

Lexy’s mouth fell open. “Wow, that was so casual.”

Harry started to laugh. “See? That’s why I’m in love with you. Your reactions, the way you see the world, the way you process it. Your ability to make me happy without even trying. I’ve never felt quite like this before.”

Lexy smiled. “Two more days.”

“Two more days,” he echoed.

“I have to say, when we first met, I had no idea you’d be like this.”

“Be like what?”

“I mean, I didn’t know that much about you but I’m pleasantly surprised by how nice of a person you are.”

“That goes both ways,” he laughed. He sobered up a bit and sighed. “Listen, Lex, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Lexy frowned. “Yeah?”

“I don’t want to freak you out or anything, but my father wants to meet you.”

“Oh no,” Lexy moaned. “Really?”

“Really. He’s a good man and I’m sure it’ll go fine but I wanted to let you know before you freak out.”

“Why does he want to meet me?”

Harry snorted. “It might have something to do with the fact that I released an official statement telling the world to leave you alone and he didn’t know you existed. But I guess more of it is recently I haven’t stopped talking about you and he’s got this rather big image of you in his head.”

Lexy groaned. “What did you tell him about me?”

“Nothing really. Just that you go to Princeton, and that you speak ten languages, and that you want to be fundamentally change the American education system someday.”

“I speak six languages, Harry, and only three of them are fluent.”

“Well, that’s more than him. That’s all that matters.”

Lexy rolled her eyes. “When are we meeting him?”

“We’ll do Sunday roast the day after you arrive. I could tell William to come if you’d like.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

“It makes me so happy that you’re not freaking out right now. You’ve grown a lot, Lex.”

Lexy smiled at the compliment. “Yeah, let’s see how I feel in three days.”

Harry laughed lightly. “I’m going to go find something for dinner. Tell the kids I said hello?”

“For sure.”

“Good night, Lexy. I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said, smiling to herself at the way it sounded. “See you soon.”

And with that, she opened the door and set off towards Deacon, ready to play his video game for the fourth time that day.

from the day that inspired this narrative i wrote:

Chicago, Summer ‘16

Waking up in the city, on any floor higher than the third or fourth, has a very distinct feeling to me. Something about the atmosphere just...transfixes me. The contrast of the honey glow from the sunrise against the bright white hotel linens and minimalistic interior decor. The unfamiliar sight of bold red letters reading 6:00 AM at my bedside. The lack of drowsiness and dread normally present if I were ever awake at this hour. The view of the buildings, partially faded through the layer of glass I observed it from; the landscape in front of me like an exhibit in an aquarium or zoo, and me watching awestruck through the viewing tank. I had just been on an airplane for a solid two hours the day before; literally up in the clouds, soaring through nothing and above everything. Who knew that being on the twenty-second floor of your everyday Hyatt hotel could feel like being on top of the world? Though I spent a lot of my days at my small home in the mountains using my thoughts to project myself anywhere else but there, it was moments like these that made me grateful to have a rural hometown; taking on an urban perspective became much more compelling. I sat on the edge of the bed, one that was incredibly comfortable and worthy of hours of slumber, but oddly enough, the last thing on my mind was the desire to sleep. This was my second day in Chicago, for the second summer in a row now. Not that it was a tradition or anything, more like a pleasant coincidence of consecutive trips; last year my aunt was visiting from the Philippines and after she stayed with us for a while, we had to drive her up to Chicago where she would reside for a month, for business purposes. And this year, my dad’s annual statistician’s conference also happened to take place in the Windy City. After the news of this second visit was broke to me early in the summer, I spent the duration of those first two months still anchored in my small hometown, amidst the breathing trees and flowering plants in rich soil, but my mind was longing for the lofty buildings and crowded concrete. When the end of July came and we boarded the plane, the short flight almost felt more like a drive going back home - as if for the past year, actually being home was being on vacation. Being in Chicago bears a sense of belonging for me, one that I can’t seem to really pinpoint. The minimal days I have spent here, admiring the architecture, taking advantage of the culture and of course the food, have been enough for me to develop a deep-seated love for not just the city, but this city in particular. I don’t know what it was exactly that grasped my attention; my affinity seemed to have developed from a series of ‘love at first sight’ moments. It was the very first drive through the city, in 2015; my hair was shorter and I still had braces wired to my teeth and a different pair of glasses, which gleamed against each passing light. It was when I looked across the horizon and did not see mountains, but instead of seeing empty space; instead of seeing an absence of familiarity, I saw the frame fill with possibility and substance I took interest in. It was each time a famous monument or tourist hotspot introduced itself to me, most of them conveniently placed within walking distance of each other. It was waking up alone in the king sized bed of my godmother’s apartment, on around the twentieth floor, to the satisfying glow of a city view from a large window, framed by exposed brick. It was the white noise of cars and people and existence - not as discordant as that of New York City - perceived by my ears like birds singing in the early morning. It was that atmosphere, that feeling, that struck me as momentous. Chicago was a totally new sensory experience for me that I wanted to welcome again. Everything just felt so fitting. A year later, my attraction remained; I inhaled the Illinois air once again and it felt like taking the first breath after waking up. I guess it wasn’t necessarily ‘love at first sight’ moments that I was experiencing - that seemed a bit too clichéd - it was more like ‘comfort at first sight.’ I drew parallels between this year and the year before; new instances ignited past emotions. The first drive through the city, in 2016, as soon as we’ve concluded at the airport; my hair was long and I was dressed in all black. Recognizing all the landmarks I had met before. Seeing this world through my sister’s fresh eyes, this being my second trip here but her first. As I sat in the hotel, I took in my surroundings and embraced the essence of it all. This was only day two of the five I would be spending in Chicago, but it wasn’t just another day. My family surprisingly did not have a plan for what today would consist of. No step-by-step itinerary, no strict schedule; that was more than alright, because there was only one thing that mattered to me that was set in stone. Today my enthusiasm for this city was combining with an enthusiasm of a greater degree. Not only did my dreams and potential future live here in Chicago, but so did my friend Connor. We were ‘friends’ as in one of my best friends had known him for some years, and through that mutual friend we were ‘acquainted’ with each other and thus emerged our friendship. We communicated solely through texting, social media, and phone calls, but were good friends nonetheless. The moment I found out I’d be stopping by the city again, plans were set into motion, and as the period between the present and the time when we would meet gradually got shorter, my excitement heightened. This just became another incentive for me to visit Chicago again. One month faded into one week and then into one day. It was surreal getting up and finally being able to think, “today is the day.” The morning of the fateful day was a self-established rush; I found myself continuously sprinting between the bathroom and the vanity mirror by the window as I got ready. For a moment, I forgot about the beauty of my environment and had to focus on myself. My fully-dressed parents stood there, watching me in my frantic state, waiting as patiently as they could. I was feeling so much stress and pressure, despite how I had claimed this place was an oasis of contentment and ease. Exiting the hotel, that underlying feeling that I had forgotten something was weighing on me. I prepped myself with pessimistic warnings: something’s going to go wrong. The universe is going to throw a curveball at you; this will not be as fulfilling as you’ve made it out to be. This made for a restless bus ride. My concept of time was inconsistent: was time moving too fast or too slow? At around 11:15 Central Time, we arrived in front of The Bean. I might have just been waking up at this time if I was home, but not here; the city was awake and loud with color and life. As the bus stopped with a hiss and we stepped off, the relentless sun greeted us unwelcomely. I was drawn to the massive, shining Bean immediately, not out of fascination, but because my instincts took me towards the nearest shade I could find. I stared up at the distorted reflections of dozens of tourists nestled under the sculpture with me and saw patterned visuals, warped and metallic, imagining what alluring photographs they would make. My camera was at hand; normally I would be using it, but waiting there under the scorching sun, my anxiety was absolutely overwhelming, washing out any other current thoughts or impulses. Suddenly, I needed space. I needed time. I needed to take a reality check. I made a brisk walk to the nearby bathrooms and I felt like a nervous young tourist; it made me uneasy, I wanted - needed to feel happy, comfortable, at home. In the bathroom, the swift wave of cooler air was a relief; I set my bag on the sparkling black linoleum, glad no one else was occupying the space with me. I made those last-minute touches that slipped my mind in the hotel. I went to the bathroom, sprayed on some perfume, and fixed my hair, which today was tame but still just as thick; pulling some of it back with a hair tie. I took the brisk walk back to The Bean in a more collected fashion, immediately planting myself in the shade of the park’s trees, where I could sit and ensure that my hair wouldn’t get too frizzy. Connor wouldn’t be there for quite some time, but just in case, I had to keep my eyes peeled, looking around and checking everything in the surrounding area. Every boy in the dense mass of people held the possibility of being him. I had never been this antsy while waiting for anything. I unpacked my bag, pulling out the few presents I had for him, before putting them back in one at a time. Bundle of Pokémon cards. T-shirt. CD (The Strokes, Angles). Stickers. Card. Balling up my long-sleeved button up, which served a questionable purpose in this heat, thinking, thinking, can’t stop thinking. I can’t believe I’m here. I can’t believe this is actually happening. This situation is so surreal. How will I know when he’s here? What will it be like when we meet? At some point my sister went off on her own; she was spending her day at the Art Institute, on her own excursion. I was still deep in my thoughts, imagining them as a pool to swim through to combat the humid weather. I don’t remember the exact moment, I don’t remember the exact thought that ran through my mind, but my attention was caught - with a pinch, a slight alert. There he was. I saw him. In the distance. I saw him, with my eyes; a physical three-dimensional being, walking right in front of me. At first it was just another guy that I happened to lay my eyes on, but there were features that were too distinguishable for me to not recognize: light greenish blond hair, quarter sleeve baseball shirt and jeans, skateboard on his back. There was a delay in how my mind registered who that was, but before I could even think about it I found words leaving my mouth, “Is that him? Oh my god! That’s him, right there! OH MY GOD,” and my parents had no response, obviously they didn’t care as much. I watched him walk over to the other side of the grassy expanse, looking down at his phone - probably texting me - before he sat on an opposing ledge, back facing me. 11:33, I received the text: “I’m here”. I quelled the urge to just run over to him, what was once hundreds of miles away was now just a couple of feet. I’m not usually one for phone calls, but I was on the phone in an instant, and not even waiting for him to pick up or say a word, I said, “I SEE YOU. TURN AROUND,” he turned, but not in the right direction; “no completely around, turn all the way around,” and when I said that, he did accordingly, and that was the moment we were both seeing each other for the first time. In a dreamlike haze, we exchanged waves and after what might have been the fastest goodbye possible, my feet were ahead of the rest of my body and I ran towards him for a hug. Letting out an enthusiastic “Connor!”; we met in the middle, “I have something for you,” I laughed, handing him a card with the same words printed on the front (and “you’re holding it” on the inside). This wasn’t a particularly phenomenal embrace, but in this instant, as Connor laughed in response, everything was alright and nothing mattered. ‘Comfort at first sight’; this was that again. Usually, when I highly anticipate any event, it decides to veer away from my expectations and I end up disappointed. It was not often that my anxiety was answered with solace. It was August 1st, 2016, and the long, impending countdown in my head was now over. There I was, getting lunch and sitting in the park with a friend that I never thought I would ever meet. On this day, I was allowed to roam the city streets, alone with someone who was technically a stranger. I had no idea where we were going or how to get around, nor was I sure of what we were doing and what I wanted to do, but all I knew was that I was in Chicago and I was welcome here. The bustling streets didn’t feel unfamiliar. The pulsating crowds of city goers didn’t intimidate me. The guy by my side, who I had never spent time with before in my life, did not make me feel uncomfortable. Colossal structures towered over me and I did not feel small. It wasn’t just another day. But it was as if...I was home and I was just spending another regular day here, hanging out with a friend that I had known for years. The uncertain path we took, which included us nearly getting lost, felt almost routine. Somehow - whether it was over the span of these two years I had visited or in the matter of the hours passed as I was with Connor - a city so foreign to me genuinely became my favorite place to be. I now know that it is possible to fall in love with something you have only met twice. And that it is also possible to experience an entire lifetime of friendship within the period of meeting someone for the first time. In this city, I experienced some firsts that I knew would not be lasts. I hoped I could come back and pick up where I left off once again, the feelings I felt being far too significant and impactful to abandon here in this time and place. I will always remember this occasion; these days in Chicago, Illinois in the summer of ‘16. Last year, I had left part of my heart in Chicago and finally, we had reunited.

Day 1 (5/9)

I woke up at around 6:45 AM to make an 11 AM flight to Qatar. I met up with my friend Jon at a bagel place near the A train, then took the hour long subway ride out to JFK. On our flight to Qatar I sat in the very last row, 47G, next to a large man from Albany who was visiting a friend in Kuwait. During the 12 hour flight he fell asleep multiple times and encroached on my side of the arm rest, which frustrated me. I watched three movies during the flight: The Front Runner with High Jackman, Passengers with Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt, and Green Book with Viggo Mortensen and Mehershala Ali. I also wrote two articles and ate a considerable amount of spongy airplane food. Overall I’d call it a productive flight.

The airport in Qatar is very modern, so much so that it has no distinguishing features whatsoever. It’s really like a very nice mall with some airplane gates in it. We met a girl from Ontario, Canada who was also on our flight to Bali, and we decided we’d all stick together until it came time to board our plane. We got chicken nuggets at Burger King and I drank banana milk out of a juice box. Once we boarded the flight we were surprised to see that there was barely anyone on it. After about an hour I found a completely abandoned row on the plane, sprawled out, and slept for four hours. I woke up, grabbed some water, then slept for another hour and a half. With only two hours and thirty minutes remaining in the flight, I watched Whiplash with J.K. Simmons.

We arrived in Bali at 11 PM local time. Getting through the airport was simple enough, and we met our driver outside. He drove us to our Airbnb in Seminyak—a beautiful open air house with lots of lush greens and sand gardens. All the rooms had king sized beds, and there was a terrance and roof deck with very nice views. We went for a dip and then I tried to go to sleep, but sleep never came. The girl we met in the airport texted us around 1 AM to let us know she had been robbed of her passport and money by a man on a motorcycle leaving the airport.

Day 2 (5/10)

I didn’t sleep at all the first night. Jon came in my room at around 6:30 AM to tell me he hadn’t slept either. No surprise considering how jet lagged we were. We decided to go for a walk into town. We found a modern looking cafe named Livingstone and had an American-esque breakfast of eggs and bacon. Then we went for a walk down to the beach.

The main way to the beach from our Airbnb was a fairly run down road that was jam packed (even at 7 AM) with folks riding motorized scooters. However, many of the bars, shops, and restaurants along the road were quite fancy, which makes for a weird juxtaposition. It felt like the road was built long before Seminyak became the tourist hotspot it is today.

When we reached the beach we walked south to Kuta and gazed at all the fancy hotels and villas that looked as if they had been built within the last 10 years. Then we turned around and walked back to our Airbnb in time to hang out in the pool all morning listening to music. Our friends Lee and Ty arrived around 11 AM and we again walked down to the beach—this time to get some drinks at a little shack. Then we met up with our other friend Eddie, who lives in Bali. From there we went to Potato Head , a really fun beachside club where you can eat delicious food, drink cool drinks, and look at great booties.

That night we went out to a bar in Seminyak called La Favela with the Canadian girl who had gotten robbed and some of her friends. La Favela is a massive and sprawling bar and restaurant that turns into a gigantic dance floor after hours. It reminded me of the enormous bars you see in Spring Break towns like Panama City, only much nicer. We danced for a considerably long time, then headed back to the Airbnb late night for some swimming.

Day 3 (5/11)

On Sunday we all agreed we needed to go back to Potato Head, only this time we would get a day bed. These are comfy little poolside mattresses where you can order food and drinks and lay out in the sun all day. However, if you want to get one you either need show up right when the club opens, or make a reservation ahead of time (we did the former). Over the course of 8 hours we ordered breakfast, lunch, and dinner for five and roughly two dozen alcoholic beverages (fancy stuff too, like mojitos and Long Island Iced Teas and stuff you drink out of a coconut) for a total cost of $300. I spent the day going from the pool to the bar to the poolside bar to the day bed. It was great.

Around 6:30PM we watched the sunset on the beach. Bali sunsets are really quite pleasant, and tons of people gather around to watch them, making it a fun shared experience. That night we decided to head north of Seminyak to another beach town called Canggu. There we went to another large outdoor bar called Oldman’s that had live music. It was filled with rowdy Australians and Englishmen not wearing shirts. When the bars closed around 1 AM, we went down the road to Sand Bar, another large bar on the beach where people dance until the sun comes up. To be candid, it was one of the crazier bars I have ever been to.

Day 4 (5/12)

Partied out from the weekend, we gathered our possessions and hired a driver to take us to Ubud. Before we left we visited a very Instagram-able cafe near our Airbnb where I ate something called a Swiss Roti. There are many places in Bali that provide food and an atmosphere designed for social media.

The ride from Seminyak to Ubud took about an hour and thirty minutes—mostly because the roads are all one lane and jam-packed with motor scooters. Aside from that, driving through Bali didn’t really make me feel like I was in another country. Almost everything is written in English, and most areas that I saw are fairly built up and modern looking.

Our Ubud Airbnb was even bigger than the one we had in Seminyak. It also came with its own staff that cooked us breakfast and made our reservations (for a total cost of $90 per person for two nights). Once we had settled in we went for a walk into town. Being that Ubud is in the middle of the jungle, the entire area is filled with lush greenery. We went for a hike along a valley and took in some views, then headed into the center of town to a movie theater called Paradiso where we bought tickets to watch the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones. The theater was filled with expats (as most of Ubud is) and the lighting wasn’t ideal, but overall it was a cool experience. After the episode ended we grabbed a simple dinner in town and went home.

Day 5 (5/13)

For Tuesday we had booked a day-long tour with a tour guide a friend of mine had put me in touch with. For $50 American dollars he agreed to drive us around all day long and show us the most popular attractions in and around Ubud. We woke up around 7 AM and ate a delicious crepe breakfast prepared by our in-house staff. Then we piled into an SUV driven by the tour guide—named Komang.

The first stop on the tour was the Ubud Monkey Forest. This is pretty much what it sounds like—a nice little forest where you can walk around and look at long tail monkeys. The monkeys run around and play with each other, and, for the most part, don’t mess with humans (as long as humans don’t mess with them). Still, we were told to keep our phones, wallets, and other possessions close, less a monkey get any clever ideas.

The next stop on our tour was the Tengenungan Waterfall—a decent drive outside of Ubud. The waterfall is cool looking enough, and everyone can jump into the water and swim near the waterfall, allowing you to really feel the force of the water crashing down.

After that we went to Bali Swing, a sort of ropes course located in the middle of a rice terrace. The farmers grow the rice in a terrace formation for irrigation purposes, but they are also quite nice to look at. At Bali Swing you can sign up for a variety of different activities, including zip lining and (you guessed it) a swing set that swings you over the edge of a cliff and gives you a neat view of the rice terrace. There is also a tandem air bike, which Jon and I decided to do. This is a bike attached to a harness that you can pedal along a wire over the rice terrace. To the naked eye, it almost looks like you are riding a back across the sky—ET style. Riding the bike was a bit nerve wracking at first, especially because every time the bike shook I felt like it was going to fall off the wire. But by the end we were able to relax and take in the view.

Afterwards we went on a little hike through the rice terrace and took in some nature. Then we went to a nearby restaurant where I had my first traditional Balinese meal—a cone of rice with a bunch of random meats, vegetables, and fishes in little bowls that you can mix in. This is also where I had my first banana juice in Bali. The banana juice is quite literally a liquified banana, but the juice tastes so sweet and creamy that I indulged many more times throughout the trip.

After lunch was the Kopi Plantation, a plantation where they make coffee out of feces from the Luwak—a nocturnal cat-like animal native to Bali. The Luwak enjoys eating coffee beans, and the digested beans (once cleaned and roasted) happen to make some of the most delicious and expensive coffee in the world.

The last stop on the tour was the Pura Tirta Temple. This is a Hindu Temple where you are invited to throw on a water-proof sarong and climb into a pool. From there you can swim up to a variety of different spouts and bath in the rush of cold water— the idea being that you are washing the sin off of yourself.

With our sins cleaned away, we headed back toward Ubud. However, our progress was disrupted by a parade of people marching through town toward a temple for some sort of celebration. This is fairly common in Bali, as there are over 180 holidays on the Balinese calendar. In the end we were late for dinner, but we were a little more cultured for it. Dinner was at a fancy vegan restaurant called Zest. Vegan restaurants are a dime a dozen in Bali, but this one was especially delicious. I indulged in a steak made of jackfruit, and also snacked on some vegan nachos and pizza. Exhausted from our day-long journey, we called it a night after dinner.

Day 6 (5/14)

We had deliberately only booked the first five days of the trip because we wanted to have flexibility to do what we wanted. On Tuesday night we all agreed to visit the Gili Islands next—a set of three small islands off the coast of Lombok, roughly an hour away by boat. Our in-house staff helped us with the arrangements, and Wednesday morning a shuttle took us to Padang Bai, where we caught a ferry across the Java Sea to Gili Trawangan (AKA “Gili T”)—the largest and most developed of the islands.

But “developed” is still a generous term. There are no paved roads in Gili, rather dirt paths. There is a bike trail that goes around the entire perimeter of the island, which is where most of the bars and restaurants and shops and hotels are located. Our Airbnb was not on the perimeter of the island, but several blocks in. When we checked in we also learned that Ramadan is currently ongoing, which is why Muslim prayers were being blasted from a loudspeaker perched atop a minaret across the entire island (unlike Bali, which is Hindu, most other parts of Indonesia are Muslim). Being that it was Ramadan, most of the island closed up early. We eventually learned that the island was at barely 20% capacity of what it usually is.

Regardless, we still found a way to have fun. First we rented bikes and rode the entire island (which took all of an hour). Then we found a nice spot on the beach to watch the sun set, which was even nicer than the sun set in Bali. We grabbed dinner at a restaurant called Naty’s, then popped into a few bars around the area (all but one of which closed at 11 pm). There were still plenty of people out and about, even if it was a far cry from the crowded bars in Bali. When we did get to bed early in the morning, we were awakened shortly thereafter by the 3 AM prayer, and then the 6 AM prayer.

Day 7 (5/15)

Our Airbnb in Gili was certainly the weakest of the bunch. We stayed in a set of three bungalows that lacked hot water and featured toilets that flushed inconsistently. But the two guys who worked there cooked us breakfast and gave us all the free orange juice we could ask for (again, juice in Indonesia is delicious). For Thursday we had arranged to take a scuba diving class at a facility a few blocks from our Airbnb. When we arrived a nice instructor named Sandra went over some scuba diving ground rules and made us watch a safety video. Then we strapped on wet suits and air tanks and hopped into a pool.

There is definitely a bit more to scuba diving than I considered. For instance, there are things you need to do to make sure your goggles don’t fog up, and that your ears aren’t bursting in pain as water pressure builds. There are also a variety of hand signals you have to learn so you can communicate with your instructor underwater. After about 30 minutes in the pool, I felt like I was ready to give it a shot for real.

We rode out in a boat from Gili T to an area closer to Gili Meno. Beneath the water there was a floating pier that had sunk about 10 years ago and was now a popular hangout for tropical fish. We strapped on our gear and fell backwards off the boat. For the first ten minutes underwater I remember having a really hard time seeing and feeling very worried that I might be doing something wrong. But once I was able to un-fog my goggles, I was awestruck by what I saw—thousands of fish swimming around a giant structure that had been reclaimed by the sea. So I flapped around for as long as I could, taking in the sites. About 25 minutes in I looked at my air gauge and was alarmed to learn I only had 50 PSI left (We started at 200 PSI and were instructed to alert someone when our gauge reaches this level). Shortly thereafter we all clicked a button on our scuba suits that inflated our life vests and allowed us to rise to the surface.

All in all we lasted 29 minutes. We would later learn from our instructor that we all wasted too much oxygen because we were waving our arms and legs around so much and not controlling our breathing. Good divers can last up to an hour and 30 minutes by swimming correctly and taking deeper breaths, but the excitement and novelty of the situation caused us all to sort of freak out. Oh well, it was still a cool experience.

After we washed up, Jon and I went on another bike ride—this time through the middle of the island. Then we watched another sun set and we all grabbed a nice dinner on the beach (I had chicken and very fresh calamari).

Day 8 (5/16)

Friday we took the ferry back from Gili T to Bali and caught a cheap cab to Canggu. We decided the night before to stay in Canggu over Uluwatu because Canggu has a better party scene. We had another nice Airbnb with in-house staff, although not as nice as the Airbnbs we had stayed in in Seminyak and Ubud. When we got there we asked our in-house staff to arrange to have massages set up for us. After our massages we went out to a very nice steak dinner at a place called Mason’s. A word about Canggu: It feels like a nicer Seminyak. It’s less congested, the restaurants and bars are nicer, and the area just feels generally cleaner. It’s almost like Bali took all the lessons it learned from developing Seminyak and applied them when building up Canggu.

After dinner (I had the pork loin) we once again went to Oldman’s and then Sand Bar, because one time just wasn’t enough.

Day 9 (5/17)

Speaking of one time not being enough, on Saturday we decided to go to a beach club again. This time the beach club we visited was Finn’s, which a woman later described to me as a “classier” Potato Head. It was also slightly more expensive ($390 for the day for 4 people), but we still got all the great food and alcohol we wanted (as well as two more banana juices), plus a killer sun set and lots of friendly people to hang out with.

Saturday night (our last night) we started at a bar called Backyard’s, but ended the night at Sand Bar. It may seem repetitive, but it really doesn’t get much better than partying on an Indonesian beach until the sun rises.

Day 10 (5/18)

Our last day in Bali, we hired a driver to take us to Uluwatu, an area on the southern tip of Bali that features beautiful cliffside views of the ocean and a famous Hindu Temple. After walking the temple (literally named “Uluwatu Temple”) and watching a monkey steal some guys sunglasses, we asked our driver to take us somewhere where we could buy some mementos for the trip. Unfortunately, great shopping isn’t why you come to Bali, and I couldn’t really find anything that interesting, save a “I 🌴 BALI” shirt.

We ended the day at a hotel restaurant and bar called the Double Six in Seminyak, where we took in one last great Bali sunset. Then we piled into a van and went home.

Final Thoughts:

Money: I spent a grand total of $2,300 on this trip, including my flight. In my opinion, that’s ridiculously cheap. We didn’t try to spare any expense while traveling—we stayed in nice Airbnbs, ate at nice restaurants, and bought plenty of drinks. Still, everything is so cheap it’s almost difficult to overspend. Meals cost under $10 and cabs to distant locations are no more than $5 a head. I can’t think of a single instance in which I felt something was too expensive.

Beverages: The beverage game in Bali is on another level. Every restaurant, cafe, and bar you go to has an elaborate drink menu featuring smoothies, juices, elixirs, “mocktails,” and shots with ginger in them—and it’s all delicious! The fruit in Bali is so fresh that all of the smoothies and juices are bursting with flavor. I only wish I could get banana juice that good in New York.

Food: I didn’t find Balinese food to be that unique. Really, the whole island is so westernized that you can get a burger, pasta, or bacon and eggs almost anywhere. There were some more traditional Balinese dishes, mainly rice based, but they never struck me as that appetizing. If you’re a foodie, you can definitely get some good meals in Bali, but don’t expect to be immersed in a world of traditional Balinese cooking, because I don’t think that’s a thing.

People: Balinese people are mild mannered and extremely accommodating. The Balinese economy is based primarily on tourism, so the Balinese want to be as helpful as possible to all the white people (and there are a lot of them). Speaking of the white people, I found that most of them were either Australian, English, Scandinavian, or Canadian, with a few Americans mixed in. Many of them were either staying in Bali long term, or taking a multi-month trip around all of southeast Asia. When we told folks we were only visiting for 10 days, they seemed to be almost surprised we would choose to spend such little time in a place like this.

Truth is, I wish I had more time there. It’s been four days since I returned, and I’m already daydreaming about going back. The island is cheap yet extremely modern, meaning you can live very comfortably. Furthermore, it’s just a good time. The beaches are gorgeous, the woman are beautiful, and there is a party every night of the week. I’m fairly certain this won’t be my last trip to Bali.

Bali Trip Day 1 (5/9) I woke up at around 6:45 AM to make an 11 AM flight to Qatar.