My god. Imagine telling your son, your own child, to come take a job where is explicit purpose is to take a bullet for another person, for someone else’s son. Imagine bringing your 18 year old child into this situation where the risk of being shot to death is high. This is so intense.

I have no idea if this is something that Never Let Me Go is interested in dealing with, or if it’s just a hand-wavy thing to set the plot in motion. But my first thought upon hearing Palm say, "hello dad," was, holy fuck, he was recruited by his own father?!

Perhaps Never Let Me Go will take a left turn and become My School President 2.0

Last post about this and then I'm cutting myself off.

The reason I'm obsessing over this show so much is that I can see the story that it's trying to tell, or at least what I'm imagining that it's trying to tell, and I love that story so much! I really really want to watch it. So much about parents and obligations and class and grief and first love that should have me—that I wish had me—gripping me heart, but instead all I feel is annoyed.

And I go into the tags and see people analyzing it with all these fascinating insights about characters and themes, and I feel envious that y'all are seeing a version of the story that actually contains those things. And I'm glad for everyone who's getting the story that I think should be there, but sad that I'm not. And also confused about what it is that I'm missing that it works for so many of you.

Also, in trying to analyze what's not working for me I end up watching like a hawk, and then I start getting even more judgmental about everyone's acting, and that feels mean, and also I can't tell whether or not my judgments are accurate.

In the meta I just reblogged about this show (I don't want to tag anyone in my temper tantrum, but you'll see it if you scroll back) she talked about how Jojo is also trying to make a gangster lakorn as a BL, and that he's not that interested the beats of a capital R Romance story. unfortunately, the gangster part works even less for me than the romance part :-( Maybe there every storyline got compromised for every other one, and nothing remained at full strength? I hypothesized earlier, with four screenwriters and a director, maybe too many cooks in the kitchen.

But since most people seem to be seeing what I'm looking for, maybe it's just me. Maybe I've forgotten how to watch high drama soapy Thai bl and need to retune my expectations.

And sometimes things just don't work for people. And I need to get over that and move on with my life. Just wanted to whine one last time before I do so.

(But also seriously if you had a similar reaction I would love to hear because I'm feeling a little insane right now.)

Yes!!! Pressed up against each other, hiding in an alleyway, forced to be completely silent while staring into each other’s eyes as the enemy* passes by oblivious. I adore this trope. And it’s so well executed here.

*or school bullies, as the case may be

Slowly coming to terms with the fact that Plot and Logic are irrelevant, it's all about putting Palm and Nuengdiao in Situations so they can be adorable together.

Which is fine! It's charming, and a classic BL storytelling mode. It's just that everyone was so excited for Jojo as a director that I had different expectations for the quality of this. Like, tbh, I'm enjoying the show but nothing in here is making me think, that's good directing. It doesn't help that, while cute together, I still don't think either Pond or Phuwin are particularly good actors in this.

I still haven't seen anything else of Jojo's, so I can't make any broad judgements, but ngl I'm a little worried that I'll be disappointed by his other stuff, especially Only Friends which I've been looking forward to.

Pond has a certain expression, a certain smile, where he reminds me so much of Suzuki Kosuke (of Jack o' Frost and Takara-kun to Amagi-kun). Most of the time he doesn't, but there are moments.

Tanya. You fascinate me. I am so into this character. I’m sure I will have so much to say about her by the end, but I don’t know what it’s going to be yet, other than: this actress is really delivering.

(Uncle Kit too, his actor also seems excellent.)

It is such a relief to see a unique house for the set here. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very entertained by tracking shared locations, but it’s nice to sink into just thinking of this house as the place where theses specific characters live. And it feels like it fits this family, that it was chosen with storytelling intention, not just because it was available and convenient.

Chopper and Ben! Chopper and Ben! 🤗🥰

Poor Pawin. Forever being suspected of stealing stuff from other people's lockers.

(At least I suspect Phum, I don't know if any of the other characters do. And I just finished part 3 so I don't yet know how it all shakes out.)

Wait Ben knew about Chopper's feelings for him? Chopper had already confessed? 🤨

That puts a different light on their earlier conversations. tbh, I think it works better if Ben hadn't known during their conversation over paper cutting. Cause then he's just being a dick to Chopper with telling him about his crush on Chopper's cousin. And he doesn't seem like the type.

This script is a mess.

Ok yeah. This framing—music, closeups, filter—and Perth's portrayal certainly seem to be indicating that Chopper has a crush on Ben. I mean, I still could be wrong, but.

I ship them.

Are Chopper and Ben going to be the second couple? I'm pretty sure they'll end up either enemies in the war for Neungdiao's soul, or (friends-to-)enemies-to-lovers, but I can't tell yet which.

Though since this mafia BL is weighted more to BL than to mafia, my money is on lovers.

Where Your Eyes Linger put me in a bodyguard romance kind of mood, so I’ve gone back to Never Let Me Go. I only made it through the first episode, and I hate to say it, but. I think these two might not be very good actors? I think that was part of the reason I dropped it? Like, it feels like they’re making all the right choices, acting wise, but somehow it doesn’t feel natural? Perhaps I will adjust, because I want to like the show. Pond is extraordinarily pretty.

I’ve kept myself completely in the dark, so I still don’t know what the general consensus on nlmg ended up being.

I guess this isn't happening in a bubble world without homophobia. Fuck Ben's dad, and fuck to school head. And probably other people I haven't identified yet.

Scratch that, I adore Maggie. Only person with both humanity and sense on this show.