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piratewithvigor · 3 years

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If you could make up your ultimate band, who would be in it?

This is going to be a long and thought-out process that I am not going to be nice about. Gotta think about the perfect qualities of a band and who can best deliver that vision. For the ultimate band, I want thoughtful and intricate songs that don't go too far into prog, but also don't shy away from it either. I want talent, showmanship, and if they're cuties, they get bonus points.

So starting out, we need a songwriter to get anywhere. Although John Lennon or Paul McCartney would be an easy selection, being two of the most successful songwriters in history, success is not always what you want. I love the Beatles dearly and everything they did, but the quality of their work has the tendency to get over-hyped. But the greatest lyricist who could go mainstream when he had to and was able to cut loose and get creative when given the opportunity was Neil Peart. Not only does he cover lyrics, but he was one of the greatest drummers in the world and can fill that category too.

Now, since I’m a little prog-leaning, I want a keyboardist as well. Not every band has one and even the ones who do don’t always feature keyboards or piano, but every single band I listen to frequently has used a piano as a feature instrument on at least one song. I could say Freddie Mercury or Elton John here, and while they’re both excellent, they don’t compare to the wizard of keys, Keith Emerson. No one on the planet plays so fast or so accurately. He plays the organ like Keith Moon plays the drums.

To round out the rhythm section, I need someone on bass. If I went with my basal instincts, I would choose Geddy Lee in a heartbeat. Even after considering for a few minutes, there are only three who could maybe take his place: John Paul Jones, Duff McKagan or Donald “Duck” Dunn. Duff isn’t as talented as the other two, but he does have a fuckton of showmanship to his style and knows far more instruments and is a bonafide cutie. Jonesy isn’t too showy, but he has technical skills beyond reproach. Donald is arguably more skilled than either of them, but he doesn’t go quite into the same style as the band I’m trying to put together. R&B isn’t prog-leaning rock. While I think he could handle it easily, he doesn’t quite have the right vibe. I just have to go with Geddy.

Now comes the trickiest part: the guitarists. I’ve got at least two spots, but so many names who could take them. Jimmy Page, Mick Mars, Brian May, Slash, Eddie Van Halen. Although I want them all, the only reason I’ll be able to give any of them the boot is due to their styles. Slash and Mick go because they are hard-rockers to their core. I don’t think they’d be able to deal with the proggy vibe, no matter how much I want them to. Eddie is much more of a toss-up. He could probably handle the vibe, but it wouldn’t be his forte and he wouldn’t be happy. Jimmy and Brian are two different stories. Not only have they each been voted greatest guitarists of all time on different occasions, but each of their bands have dipped their toes in the waters of prog, and I think they could take the vibe and run with it happily. Also, they’ve both been solo guitarists in their respective bands, and could likely handle tossing the baton of lead guitar back and forth.

Finally, the singer. Almost every band I listen to could put a singer into the mix. Robert Plant, Axl Rose, Freddie Mercury, Jim Morrison, Paul Stanley, Dan Avidan, David Bowie, Steven Tyler, Steve Perry, the list goes on. The problem is finding who has the right mix of talent and a forte in proggy styles. Robert, Freddie, Dan, David and Steve meet those criteria, but only one of them has actually recorded prog songs, and that’s Dan (everyone else WILL be making guest appearances on songs).

So my ultimate band is composed of Neil Peart, Keith Emerson, Geddy Lee, Jimmy Page, Brian May and Dan Avidan.

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howaminotinthestrokesyet · 4 years

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50 Ridiculous Rock Star Quotes: Random Quarantine Thoughts

Noel Gallagher

1. If there were gold medals for taking drugs for England I would have won a shitload.”

2. “Didn’t go into rehab like all me mates did – fucking lightweights.”

3. On Thom Yorke: “No matter how much you sit there twiddling, going, ‘We’re all doomed’, at the end of the day people will always want to hear you play ‘Creep’. Get over it.”

4. “I reckon if Thom Yorke fucking shit into a light bulb and started blowing it like an empty beer bottle it’d probably get 9 out of 10 in fucking Mojo."

5. “Kids have got to make their own choices. I don’t want my daughter’s record collection to be the same as mine – I don’t want her to be as cool as me."

6. “Ewan McGregor was my neighbour, right, and he came round my house the night he got the part of Obi-Wan Kenobi. I just happened to have two of those lightsaber toys, so I said, 'Come on – in the back garden.' And we had a fucking lightsaber fight. His first Jedi training session was with yours truly in my back garden at eight in the morning."

7. “You can’t write songs about your wife if your brother’s singing it. No, that’s not going to go down well."

8. “All I ever wanted to do was make a record. Here’s what you do: you pick up your guitar, you rip a few people’s tune’s off, you swap them round a bit, get your brother in the band, punch his head in every now and again, and it sells. I’m a lucky b**. I’m probably the single most lucky man in the world.”

9. “Just because you sell lots of records it doesn’t mean to say you’re any good. Look at Phil Collins.”

10. “If I ever get to go to the moon, I’ll probably just stand on the moon and go 'hmmm, yeah... fair enough... gotta go home now.’"

Kanye West

1. “50 is Eminem's favourite rapper… I'm my favourite rapper."

2. “My greatest pain in life is that I'll never be able to see myself perform live."

3. You basically can say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end."

4. I think I do myself a disservice by comparing myself to Steve Jobs and Walt Disney and human beings that we’ve seen before. It should be more like Willy Wonka…and welcome to my chocolate factory.”

5. “I have to dress Kim everyday so she doesn’t embarrass me.”

6. “Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph. I am a proud nonreader of books."

7. “You may be talented, but you’re not Kanye West.”

8. “You know, I’m a creative genius and there’s no other way to word it.”

9. “You should only believe about 90% of what I say. As a matter of fact, don’t even believe anything that I’m saying at all. I could be completely f—g with you, and the world, the entire time.”

10. “Trends come and go, but cool is forever."

Keith Richards

1. “Some things get better with age. Like me."

2. “I’ve been through more cold turkeys than there are freezers.”

3. "I've never had a problem with drugs. I’ve had problems with the police.”

4. “Some doctor told me I had six months to live and I went to their funeral.”

5. "If you're going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet."

6. “If you've gotta think about being cool, you ain't cool."

7. “Rock and roll ain't nothing but jazz with a hard backbeat."

8. “And then I think we realized, like any young guys, that blues are not learned in a monastery. You've got to go out there and get your heart broke and then come back and then you can sing the blues."

9. “I was number one on the Who's Likely To Die list for 10 years. I mean, I was really disappointed when I fell off the list.”

10. “Rap — so many words, so little said. What rap did that was impressive was to show there are so many tone-deaf people out there. All they need is a drum beat and somebody yelling over it and they're happy. There’s an enormous market for people who can't tell one note from another.”

Axl Rose

1. "I write the vocals last, because I wanted to invent the music first and push the music to the level that I had to compete against it."

2. “I'm not God but if I were God, ¾ of you would be girls, and the rest would be pizza and beer."

3. “I'm late to everything. I've always wanted to have it written in my will that when I die, the coffin shows up a half hour late and says on the side, like in gold, 'Sorry I'm Late'."

4. “It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people."

5. "If love is blind I guess I'll buy myself a cane"

6. “I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.”

7. “I don't even know my own phone number.”

8. “If you are really into waiting, try holding your breath for Jesus, 'cause I hear the payoff may be that much greater.”

9. “Rock n' roll was a bad and evil thing. l remember once I was singing a Barry Manilow song, "Mandy," In the back seat of the car. It came on the radio, and I kind of sang with it, and I got smacked In the mouth because that song was "evil."

10. “Sometimes your friends are your lovers, or have been at one time.”

Dave Grohl

1. “How could you not want to do this? I get to sit around and talk about rock’n’roll all day, then go play music with my friends and laugh my arse off backstage, until it’s time to have a beer and get 80,000 people to sing with me. That’s not work!”

2. “I can truly say out loud that ‘Gangnam Style’ is one of my favourite fucking songs of the past decade. Is it any better or worse than the latest Atoms for Peace album?”

3. “I once received a cape [from a fan] that was made from the little purple bags that Crown Royal Whisky comes in. I know! I used to wear it but I don’t anymore.”

4. “Rick [Astley] is the man. The seventh Foo Fighter. He’s such a sweetheart.”

5. “Every record we go into make we go in thinking we’re gonna make ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ or ‘The White Album’ but at the end of the day we end up with a Foo Fighters record there’s nothing we can do.”

6. “If you play a Nickleback song backwards you'll hear messages from the devil. Even worse, if you play it forwards you'll hear Nickleback."

7. “Because you have things like 'American Idol' and you've got radio stations that play music made entirely by computers, it's easy to forget there are bands with actual people playing actual instruments that rock."

8. “What's the last thing a drummer says in a band: Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?"

9. “There's something about heartbreak that makes for great music, but the same could be said for Jägermeister. Hangovers make for great music, too."

10. “To women, drummers seem like these adorable, sexy Neanderthals, and lead singers seem mysterious and dangerous. So while the lead singers all want to be David Bowie, floating into parties and being the center of attention, it's the drummers who are in the corner doing keg stands and breaking tables. Usually it's the drummers who get the fun-loving ladies and the singers who get the nutcases."

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