hello im a decently new sub how can i make sure my dom partner is enjoying our time together too?

First of all: I'm not the font of all knowledge and I can really only give my perspective based on what I personally do. Every Dom, sub, and dynamic is unique and everyone needs different things to feel fulfilled.

In my opinion, it really all comes down to communication and understanding the dynamic you're engaging in. You NEED to communicate with your Dom, this is utterly non-negotiable. Check in with them during and after scenes, ask them what they enjoy, talk about what makes a scene good for them and how they like to feel. Your Dom is a PERSON FIRST, not a character, not a role, a complex human person who doesn't inherently want all the same things you do. If you want to engage in a given kink and think that just because someone is a Dom that they inherently want to take that control? You're just as bad as Doms that presume subs want to give everything that they want. Full stop. If you can't have these kinds of conversations, you're not ready to be responsible and accountable for your own wants, desires, and actions, and thus aren't ready to be participating in kink dynamics.

This gets me to my second point: you HAVE to understand what a kink relationship really is. In a very real sense, kink is a game of pretend that has real-world emotional and physical consequences. There is NEVER a point in a scene, no matter what kind, where it stops being an interaction between consenting human adults with personhood and power. Let me repeat that more specifically: subs, there is never a time where you are not responsible for yourself and your actions. Your Dom is ALWAYS just another person, and any power they have over you is negotiated and consented to by BOTH parties, and can be changed at any time. You do not get to make another person entirely responsible for you; that is not how life works. In the D/s relationships we negotiate and consent to, we need to understand the realities that underlie our fictions and fantasies, otherwise we risk believing in them.

Believing in these fantasies without the backing of reality is what leads to many of the harmful situations we discuss in our community. It leads to us forgetting that both Doms and subs are people, and not kink dispensers to fulfill our fantasies. It leads to us treating each other poorly and shallowly, without regard for the human life on the other side. It leads to us making assumptions about what people "should" like or do, rather than what our partner(s) actually enjoy. It leads to a severe lack of critical thought about the dynamics, kinks, and roles we engage in, letting broader issues (like this one) fester and harm people.

I've been on my soapbox for a while, so I'll chill. TLDR: Your Dom is a person, and you must communicate and think through your interactions.

-your Creature