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fortitude-sakura · 6 years

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Masochism

Prompt: Emotional masochism is the only thing she knows. Rating: T

It was no secret in the village that Haruno Sakura’s heart was wholly dedicated to Uchiha Sasuke, much to the chagrin of other male shinobi.

Whispers followed her, a trail left behind as she graced them with her beauty, intelligence and work ethic.

“He probably has someone else.” giggled the gossipy nurses who apparently didn’t have patients to attend to.

“It’s such a pity she’s not yet married.” sighed the lady at the sweet dango store that Sakura liked to frequent after a long day at the hospital.

“What’s so great about the Uchiha? He’s a traitor in any case.” grumbled the jealous shinobi who harboured secret fantasies about making Sakura their own.

These whispers, impervious to the winds, somehow made them to Sasuke’s ears. He had noticed an increase in the number of stares and finger pointing and it was coming to a point where he couldn’t just ignore it anymore.

---

When he came back to Konoha, the village idiot wouldn’t give him the time to confront Sakura.

“Oi! Teme! Let’s go get ramen!”

He’s unable to refuse him as Naruto rarely accepts ‘no’ as an answer, especially from him. However he also conceded that talking to Naruto might also give him insight into Sakura, who up until now, was someone who he thought he understood.

Ichiraku had transformed from a rickety little ramen bar to a proper restaurant, complete with booths that afforded them some privacy, much to Sasuke’s relief.

“So, are you going to visit Sakura-chan?” Naruto asked casually through a mouthful of ramen and tonkotsu soup.

He paused, his chopsticks halfway to his mouth. “I’m not sure.” he said carefully, “I don’t want to... give her the wrong idea.”

Naruto peered at his best friend suspiciously. “Whaddaya mean?”

“She deserves to be happy.”

I just don’t think it can be with me.

He didn’t have to say it out loud. Naruto knew what was hidden underneath his statement.

He returned his attention back to his ramen (which was deliciously nostalgic, but he won’t ever admit that to anyone). If he wasn’t so focused on eating, he would have heard Naruto mutter something under his breath.

“If only you knew, teme.”

---

He decided to pay her a visit anyway. He hadn’t meant to lie to the dobe, but he changed his mind as his feet led him away from his own apartment. His dusty, empty, lonely, cold apartment.

She wasn’t at the hospital according to the nurses, whom he’d suspected had stopped gossiping about the very person he was asking after. As he left, he heard the topic of their gossip change.

“Isn’t that Uchiha Sasuke?”

“He’s a lot more handsome in person!”

“Why did he want to see Haruno-san?”

He headed over toward the sweet dango shop that the nurses said that Sakura frequents often after work. He poked his head in and scans the place quickly. He can’t see her and was about to leave before a warm voice spoke.

“Are you looking for someone, dear?” the lady at the counter smiled at him, “If you’re looking for the pretty doctor, she went home about 15 minutes ago.”

How she knew who he was looking for, he didn’t bother asking. He gave her a curt nod and left quickly.

“She must have been waiting for him.” hummed the lady at the sweet dango store, happily as she adjusted her displays.

His impatience to reach her resulted in his walking much faster than usual. His weaving and bobbing through the crowd drew the eyes of many. He felt the whispers ghost past him. Distasteful (and somewhat jealous) sounding whispers.

“Why is he in the village? Don’t tell me he’s looking for her.”

“She’s too good for him anyway.”

He ignored them, after all there is only one person he’s interested in hearing the opinion of.

---

He gave the door a soft rap with his knuckles. A few moments passed and he knocked on the door again, slightly louder.

When she answered the door, her face was blank with shock.

“Sasuke-kun... when did you come back?”

“A few hours ago.” he said stiffly. “Can I come in?”

“Of course.” she said, opening the door to let him in. “Have a seat."

She busied herself making some tea and preparing snacks for her unexpected guest. He didn’t plan on staying long, but out of politeness he let her pour him a cup of tea.

“What brings you back this time?”

“I’ve heard things.”

“What things?” she asked, not meeting his gaze as she sat down with her own cup of tea.

“That.. you’re still...” he paused, not knowing how to ask her.

Ask her if she’s still in love with me? God, I sound conceited.

“What I do with my feelings shouldn’t be your concern, Sasuke-kun.”

He was further shocked into silence. She knew what he was going to ask. That’s how well she knew him.

But she shouldn’t. She should be getting to know others. Others more worthy of her.

(But he would never admit there wasn’t a single person out there who he truly felt worthy of her anyway.)

��Why are you torturing yourself, having feelings for someone who might not ever return them?” he asked slowly. His fingers traced the rim of his teacup

A pregnant pause settled between them before he heard a sharp intake of breath.

“Because maybe I’m a masochist.” she said. She looked at him with what he could only describe as the saddest smile he’s ever seen grace her pretty face. “Maybe I keep doing this to myself because at it’s all I know. Do you think I have a choice in who I have feelings for?”

Tears began to trickle down her face and her chin trembled, trying to contain her true feelings. Her arms were crossed tightly, as if trying to hold herself together physically because it was the only thing she could hold together right now.

“Believe me, if I could choose, I wouldn’t condemn myself to this.” she said quietly as she stood up and turned away from him. “You’re probably tired from travelling, you should go home and rest.”

He stood up and thanked her for the tea but didn’t make the move to leave. He just stood there.

This beautiful, ethereal, intelligent, strong woman, reduced to nothing more than heartbreak and tears before his own eyes. He had so believed that leaving her so that she could be happy was the best thing to do. His believed that his feelings had come to fruition far too late, that he was never really deserving of her unwavering affection and love anyway and so it was best to just leave her. In his want to be selfless, he had ended up being selfish by not only denying his own happiness, but hers as well.

Perhaps it was time to forgive himself and allow himself to indulge in her affections?

He moved behind her, quickly and with a tentativeness he had never felt, his fingers crept slowly to her hips before slowly advancing to her middle and pulling her gently towards him. He felt her stiffen up against him, unsure of what was happening or what to expect to happen next.

He rested his forehead on her shoulder before mumbling “I’m sorry.”. It was the only thing he knew how to say to her now.

“For what?” was her reply.

“For making you wait so long. For hurting you.”

He felt her turn towards him and look at him. Her inquisitive stare looked like she was scanning him for bullshit. He was never one for pretty words or lies. He was painfully honest. When she was satisfied that he was being genuine, her arms reached out and pulled him in for a hug.

He felt a burst of joy and warmth in his chest, the kind that makes you warp into a puddle of happiness. It was a foreign sensation but he didn’t hate it. His arm wrapped around her waist to pull her in closer, so that she was flush against him. He turned his head and planted a soft kiss into her cherry blossom hair.

He’d be damned if he let her go again.

#sasusaku #sasusakufic #ssfanfiction #fs-ficlet #Sasuke Uchiha #Sakura Haruno #haruno sakura #uchiha sasuke #Uchiha Sakura

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