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#get help it doestn work nothing changes and its so. frustratingand tiring like im really just so tired
strawbebyjam
·
5 months
Text
i think i’ve reached my breaking point
#i think maybe i already passed it and was just in. a lot of denial
#i know how badly i need help. i know how badly i’m doing. i know i’m not getting things done. i know i’m keeping everyone out. i know i’m
#giving up. but it is. so hard to get help HDJDHDH there is way too much shame and effort and energy it requires
#and i just don’t. have any of it left. and i’m so tired. and i hate myself so much. and i can’t even think of a single redeemable feature
#inside ot out or anywhere and i’m just. i don’t know what i can do or should do but everything is so hard. all the time. and i’m not even
#draggung through anymore i am entirely stuck. i keep failing courses and graduation keeps getting delayed. and i can’t fo anything. and i’m
#so scared but i’m also closer to tryly and genuinely giving up than i ever have veen before
#and before i use d yo feel like there were two lose lose routes i coudl take but therr was partial joy in both. but now im at a pointwhere
#have failed enough and failed repeatedly enough that i cant even. get to yhose situations. and theres just
#more than anything there’s so much shame. i don’t know what yo do with muself anymore. im luinh all the time to everyone and i hatemhysemf
#so mych. im so so so disgustedwith myself and i dknt know what to do
#like i always kbew i was the weak type but seeing it in action is just. i dontknow who i am anymore
#neg
#mano.mindtalk
#i feelbad that i come on gete and say shit i should ve telling a therapist but i cannot affordthat shit and i refuseto spew this. seeage of
#a brain onto my friends
#alsolike. i know fullwell i am. so secerely mentally ill lmfoajim a fucking psychollgu major i know my braib is fucked but i cant do shitabo
#ut it and its so. frustrating. but i also have no excuseto be the way i am everyone caressos much everyone is so careful butwhenever i tryyo
#get help it doestn work nothing changes and its so. frustratingand tiring like im really just so tired
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